fuckass update before i probably disappear for a few months lol. i am touching grass and reconnecting with Real life for a while.
i was going to email my tc about my withdrawal from class, but ive decided i'm just going to leave it. i suggested i was going to withdraw last time i saw him anyways. i said i'd consider staying, so he can easily assume that if i stop coming then i have decided to withdraw, why waste his time? he's a busy guy, it might be disrespectful to email him abt it honestly. i mostly wanted to thank him for the support this sem but whatevs, i can do that when i actually finish his class next time.
i am gonna re-enroll in the future, not next semester but the one after. so i'll see him in 6 months - 1 year (?) which is soooo long but whatever. two-three semesters away, depending on whether i defer my next sem. idk if he's even going to be teaching that class anymore when i go back.
i'm kinda anxious about never seeing him again, but i am trying to detach myself emotionally because nothing is ever going to come of this little crush of mine. he seems a good guy and values professionalism & integrity so the last thing he'd do is pursue a student 💀 unless of course reading of and about Heidegger and Arendt has inspired him.. i am not very likeable anyway, i'm so awkward and insecure, im tedious to be around.
i have known that he'd come and go all along but i still hate it. dragging it out to 2 years when it was supposed to be 1-2 semesters is really bad for me i shoulda just finished the class and moved on. i am not ready tho
