Sade Olutola
đȘŒ
Kiana Khansmith
One Nice Bug Per Day
No title available
romaâ
Cosmic Funnies
Show & Tell
Not today Justin
almost home
taylor price
d e v o n
tannertan36
we're not kids anymore.
Product Placement
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
sheepfilms
Jules of Nature
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Game of Thrones Daily
seen from United States
seen from TĂŒrkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Mexico
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from Belgium
seen from Belgium
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
@daeigne
one of the most fucked up aspects of being an adult is really how life-goes-on everything is. like you can be dealing with the most fucked up trauma-drama-grief and still have to sleep and eat food to survive and like. poop. pooping while you're really sad shouldn't be a thing but it is. we don't have a say in the matter. life goes on
đđđđđđ đ”đđđ đđđ - đœđđđđđđđđđ đđđđđđđđđđ đ đđđ đđđđđđ đ đđđđ - đłđđđ đŒđđđđ
Dear Mommy,
I wish you could see the pain youâve caused me. I wish you could see the way the little girl inside me cries out for your love. For your attention. For your understanding. Iâm sorry I broke your heart when I was little. Iâm sorry I break your heart, now. I couldnât see the ways in which I hurt your feelings in search of my independence. Iâm sorry that you donât see how grateful I am for your sacrifices. Iâm sorry that I canât accept the way you love me. Iâm sorry I canât be the daughter you expect. Iâm sorry I canât be as resistant to negativity the way you are. Iâm sorry I wasnât big enough, or mature enough, or smart enough. Iâm sorry that my feelings take up so much space that you have grown tired of feeling âsorryâ for me. Iâm sorry that the ways you hurt me, hurt to hear. Iâm sorry the ways you failed me, hurt to hear. Iâm sorry that I dare to take up space and assert my boundaries. Iâm sorry I was never easy to bend or mold. Iâm sorry I tried to think for myself. Iâm sorry I wasnât more verbal with the things that hurt me. Iâm sorry grandma hurt you. Iâm sorry that she made you feel small. Iâm sorry that the only way you know how to love is to shower people with gifts that are only meant for the person. Iâm sorry you donât understand how to apologize. Iâm sorry it brings you so much anguish to be wrong. Iâm sorry life didnât go the way you wanted. Iâm sorry the one person who had your back no matter what, passed away. Iâm sorry you feel so lonely. Iâm sorry you feel so misunderstood. Iâm sorry you feel so lost.
The little girl in me will never stop wanting to know you, to love you, to forgive you. But as an adult, Iâve grown weary. Iâm tired of shrinking myself to accommodate your feelings. Iâm tired of never feeling important or validated unless your feelings are validated, first. Iâm tired of being your punching bag. Iâm tired of being your competitor. Iâm tired of being your redemption. Iâm tired of being your healing. Iâm tired of being your validation.
I feel that Iâve always had to parent myself. Guide myself. I feel that every time Iâve listened to you, I shouldâve just listened to my gut. I wish I had listened to other lessons. I wish I knew when I couldâve trusted your judgment. I wish I was able to read between the lines as a girl. I wish I was able to recognize your pain and not internalize it. I wish I was normal. I wish my brain wasnât so affected by the pain. I wish my heart didnât hurt so much. I wish I wasnât angry. I wish I could just stop feeling. I wish you would get help. I wish you would see me. I wish you wouldâve cared enough to take therapy seriously.
I still hope. I still hope for the day you see me. I still hope for the time you know exactly what to say after years of experience. I hope you get the healing you need. I hope you start to feel the love you give others. I hope I can forgive you one day. I hope I can let go of this anger. I hope my chest will feel lighter, one day.
â A daughter searching for her place
My mother never told me stories
So most of the time,I spent my time living in my head
Creating stories of my own
And in one of them, I could always run upto her and cry when I wanted
I imagined her love and held myself through the nights
I told myself that my mother could only love me because I loved her too
But it never occurred to me if my mother really loved me
No kid ever thinks their mother doesn't love them
We open our eyes one day and make up our minds that the womb we've left isn't the same womb that threw us out
We eat the food on our plates because she makes it for us, we never really wonder if she feeds us out of duty or love
We hold her accountable of the love we deserve,like her duty ,like her job,like her oath ,like her promise
And she'll hit us and we'll curse her
But she's cursed to have birthed us,nobody asked her if she wanted children
What if she didn't?
She hated her life and she told me how I ruined it ,she kept telling me so I could remember
Memorize that I've damned her soul and body and her youth
She'll still cut fruits for me
And remember how I like my favourite dish
She'll know me inside out as a matter of fact
But she'll never understand me.
-tamanna
Excerpt from "Wilted Flowers" by Divi Maggo
âIâm not everything I want to be, but lâm more than I was, and lâm still learning.â
â Charlotte Eriksson, Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself
your life is not an optimization problem
as in you'll never achieve the perfect daily routine, sleep schedule, coping mechanisms, mannerisms, fashion sense etc. even after years and years of healing and improvement and self-discovery. you will never be so good at life that you manage to utilize every waking moment. its great to be productive and all but sometimes you'll suck ass. sometimes you'll take eight hours to be done with a twenty minute job. you'll prioritize the wrong thing. you'll sleep for 12 hrs just to avoid being awake. you'll relapse. and you'll relapse again. you'll forget to turn in the assignment. you'll order too little food. life is far too large and complex for you to even experience it completely, much less try to make sense of and control it. you can't. please give up on that and be at peace with the hours you lose. they are not separate from your life.
Everything changes when we stop fixating on why people behave the way they do and start paying attention to how we respond to their behavior
AnaĂŻs Nin, in a diary entry dated 27 February 1929, featured in The Early Diary of AnaĂŻs Nin: Vol. IV, 1927-1931
âYou think it will never happen to you, that it cannot happen to you, that you are the only person in the world to whom none of these things will ever happen, and then, one by one, they all begin to happen to you, in the same way they happen to everyone else.â
â Paul Auster, Winter Journal
It is okay to disappoint people. In fact, itâs often necessary. When you choose to stay true to your values and beliefs you will inevitably let others down at times, but thatâs not a reflection of your worth. Itâs a sign of self respect. You are not responsible for managing everyone elseâs expectations at the cost of your own well being. People who genuinely care about you will understand and those who donât were only invested in what you could offer them, not in who you truly are. Disappointment is temporary, but betraying yourself to please others creates long term resentment. Honor your path, even if it means not meeting everyoneâs expectations.
seeing my 'failures' as redirections has brought me so much peace about the things I thought I 'missed out on' in life. sometimes, you just don't know what you're being protected fromâor what you're being set up forâuntil you can look back from a new vantage point. all you can do is trust that clarity will come when the time is right. and it will.
failure is kind of like someone taking you by the shoulders and telling you either "not yet" or "not that way". and despite how much you want it, all you can really do is trust that they have your best interests at heart and maybe even relax into their touch. things will work out the way they're supposed to.
Are you really not making progress, or are you just constantly raising the bar?
Itâs likely youâve made more progress than you realize. Itâs easy to get stuck on seeing how far we have to go, and we often forget about how far weâve come.
We also are a lot harder on ourselves than we would be others. Would you be proud of the progress if it was a friend and not you? That might be a sign youâre being too hard on yourself.
And sometimes, we do go backwards and thatâs okay. It doesnât erase your progress. And you can get back to where you were and beyond.
You deserve to be proud of yourself for everything youâve made it through, for making it to where you are and surviving.
HOW TO REWIRE YOUR MIND
If your thoughts can harm you, they can also heal you. Start noticing the stories you are constantly telling yourself. Write them down. Are they rooted in fear, insecurity, or past experiences?
The moment you catch yourself spiraling into a negative story, stop. Say âcancelâ or ânot this time.â This breaks the automatic cycle and gives you space to choose a different thought. Instead of âIâm not enoughâ try âI am constantly growing and learning.â Instead of âPeople always leave,â tell yourself, âI attract meaningful and supportive connections.â Words are powerful ,no matter how hard it may be for you to believe, use them wisely.
Start doing things that help regulate your nervous system. Breath work, meditation, movement, journaling, nature etc. will help shift your body from survival mode to a state of peace and balance.
Close your eyes and imagine the version of you who is thriving. How do they feel? What does their life look like? The more vividly you can see and feel it, the more your body will align with that reality.
You guys are looking for some sort of solution or magical fix but the truth is transformation isnât about a single breakthrough momentâitâs about daily choices. The stories you tell yourself wonât change overnight, but every time you interrupt a negative thought and choose a new perspective, youâre rewiring your mind. The real magic is in consistency, not quick fixes.
shoutout to the people who for the longest time didnât see a future and thought their lives would be over by now. you made it. youâre still going. i know itâs hard building a future you werenât prepared for, but i believe in you. youâre a survivor.
@eternal-sunflowers
sometimes you have to let certain feelings just pass through you. you feel it, then you let it go. you donât hold on and you donât act on it. itâs just visiting you for a moment and doesnât have to mean much more
