Defending Asahi from Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse
A lot of people online throw around the word "depression" without truly understanding what it is. Real depression isn’t just about feeling sad—it’s the crushing weight of worthlessness, insignificance, and the belief that the world would be better off without you. It’s feeling like no matter what you do, you’ll never be enough. That’s exactly why Asahi’s story in SMT4A hit me so hard.
In SMT4A, Asahi really cannot catch a break:
First she has her mentors and senior killed right in front of her face: Nikkari and Manabu, and then is strangled and held hostage by Buddha, later on her own father dies after the Kinshicho base is infiltrated, and on top of that her own childhood friend is now a walking zombie puppet for Dagda.
And of course she has competition with Toki: A girl who is actively jealous of her because .. of a guy. Something... that hits a bit too close to home for me because I was often the girl that was considered "competition"
... And they all expect her to be okay after this..?
People are quick to dismiss Asahi, calling her annoying or useless. They forget that she’s only 15. She’s spent her whole life underground, sheltered from the horrors of the outside world. And suddenly, after Nanashi dies, she’s thrown headfirst into a brutal reality where demons, angels, and gods battle for supremacy. On top of that? She’s lost the only friend her age.
If you find her "annoying" that's fine, you're entitled to your opinion, but that means I'm also entitled to defend her.
Meanwhile, the so-called "strong" characters around her :
Navarre, Gaston, Nozomi, Isabeau, Flynn, even Hallelujah, all have some kind of supernatural blessing, divine power, or special lineage backing them up. Asahi doesn’t. She’s just a regular human trying to survive, trying to make a difference in a world that constantly tells her she’s not good enough.
And let’s not forget the biggest hypocrisy of all: The people who worship Nanashi seem to forget that without Dagda, he’d be dead. Just as “useless” as they claim Asahi is. If anyone had the right to feel like they didn’t belong in this fight, it was her. And yet, she kept trying.
That’s why I refuse to stand by when people put her down. They mock her, belittle her, and act like she deserved the harsh treatment she got—especially from Gaston.
When Gaston told Asahi she was a "pimple on [his] ass," I actually got mad. I rarely get angry at NPCs, but this? This was personal. If these characters truly wanted Asahi to "get stronger," why not help her instead of constantly putting her down? Why not mentor her, guide her, encourage her? But of course, it’s always easier to look down on someone struggling than to reach out and lift them up.
I know this feeling well. I was Asahi once. Growing up, I always felt like there was someone better than me. Someone smarter, more capable, more worthy. No matter how hard I tried, I could never measure up. And instead of encouragement, all I got was criticism:
"Why can't you get straight A’s like that girl?"
"Why can't you be like that guy who never struggles?"
But no one ever stopped to tell me, "You’re fine as you are. You don’t need to be perfect. Perfect is a myth."
Cutting from the narrative a little, I feel like sexism plays a role for sure, people are too hard on teenage girls (read Bella Swan) in general, if they're too perfect? They're trash, if they're realistic and act scared or hopless? NOOO they're anti- feminist.
Asahi also looks up to Isabeau a lot but aside from just throwing a few nice words at the girl, what exactly DOES she do for Asahi? Nothing.
And when Asahi sacrifices herself during the Shesha battle? When she takes the hit meant for you and dies? It shattered me.
What's the first thing she does when she's bought back to life??
Apologize, something else that hit too close to home for me, I felt like apologizing for my entire existence, that my entire being was a mistake.
(Hallelujah pissed me off a lot here, false pity ticks me off )
It takes IMMENSE strength to admit that "Yes, I'm average, yes I'm not special, but my life still has fucking meaning"
Because I know what it’s like to feel so useless in the face of overwhelming pressure. To feel like the best thing you can do for others is to just disappear. Watching her say that she killed herself so she “wouldn’t be in your way anymore” was like looking into a mirror I never wanted to see again. As seen below, this scene made me tear up and sob loudly.
A friend of mine once told me, “Man, if Krystal were in this game, Asahi would never be treated poorly.” And they were right. If I had been there, I would have protected her. I would have told her, “You are not an inconvenience. You are not a burden. You never held me back. If anything, Gaston was the one dragging us down with his ego.”
They say, “Be the person you needed when you were younger.”
So that’s exactly who I will be—for Asahi. Always.
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
ellievsbear
origamiaround
vaporwave
kianamaiart
areudirty
