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Gods and Men at City College! That’s the honest-to-Celestial title of this issue, and folks, this is the point in my first Eternals read when I turned to the camera and said “I think I like the Eternals?”
Yeah, it’s got a lot of problems, as I know I’ve said in past installments of It’s Only Forever. But that title reveals so much about what the series’s strengths are...
I know I’ve said The Eternals lacks the grandeur of the New Gods, and I know I’ve said it lacks the key grounded characterization of the best Marvel books. But this isn’t really about either. This is about Gods and Men at City College! This signals what I maybe should have realized earlier: this series should be the midpoint between those two Kirby worlds.
I think Eternals tries its best to fall exactly there. It’s loaded with cosmic mythology about giant space alien gods and stuff like “brain mines,” but also full of real people doing real things in New York City. And Sersi, who loves having parties!
Depicted: Have I mentioned I love Sersi??
Admittedly, this isn’t always successful. As I’ve been arguing throughout this series, there are bigger issues with writing and editing that keep this from being a grand slam home run. But I’d love a series built around these ideas and it’s nice to finally realize exactly what Kirby is intending here.
So what’s going on in this issue? Well, as you may remember, Kro had sent his Deviant minions to NYC to cause mayhem and panic, hoping that humans would respond by attacking the Celestials. Meanwhile, Sersi and Margo had been kidnapped, Ikaris was hit with a Brain Mine, and Thena and Makkari were driving at light speed to get to Manhattan from wherever it is they live.
This issue makes a strong (and pretty gutsy) swerve, however, once Thena shows up. Facing down Kro, Thena opts not to pummel him senseless, but to make a truce with him. Kro agrees, because he’s so convinced his scheme to scare humans will make this meaningless anyway. And then Kro lets his various prisoners go, and that’s that!
Seriously. Marvel’s next big franchise, the Eternals, resolves its first major story arc by having the villains and heroes make a truce and agree to stop fighting. Before they even punch each other once!
Depicted: m’eternal
This is the tone of Eternals: a very different type of comic book, where things never go as we expect. I love the idea of violence settled through allegiances rather than, say, murder. But once again, I’m left wondering how this will read to an audience who has just sat through a ton of lore dumps only to have the main conflict settled so quickly and plainly.
And then all that’s left for this issue is for the gang to hit up City College, as was foretold. This is a weird rehashing of the lore we’ve learned about humans, Eternals, Deviants, and Celestials. Really the only new things to note here are the arrival of Dr. Holden, our new human scientist (who replaces Dr. Damian, who is stuck inside a rock now)...and a cameo appearance by Ben Grimm.
But wait, you say! Petunio, you’ve assured us this series cannot take place in the Marvel Universe, and yet Ben Grimm, the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Thing is here???
Depicted: honestly, an improvement on Arnold’s looks
To which I say: well, Sersi turns a kid into The Thing as a joke. Everyone at City College recognizes him as Ben Grimm, but I should stress this doesn’t suggest the Marvel superheroes live in the world of the Eternals. You’d recognize a kid as Ben Grimm if he had a rocky head. This just tells us that the folks at City College have comics.
Otherwise, that’s it. This is the end of the first major Eternals adventure. What did we learn? I dunno. A lot, I guess? Or maybe nothing? Ain’t that just the way.
And coming next time: More Celestials can only mean good things, right?
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Did you know: in the United Kingdom, the game most of us know as Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots was originally released as Raving Bonkers?
I’m starting this installment of It’s Only Forever by telling you this because I want to ensure the next fact I tell you isn’t the wildest Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots fact you learn today.
Because here is another fact: in Olympia, the futuristic city the Eternals call home, the Eternals use all their infinite wisdom and power to play giant Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.
Depicted: proof that the Eternals love fads
This is hardly an exaggeration. The robot boxers are controlled with little joysticks and are red and blue. The Eternals call them Auto-Boxers, but we all know what’s going on. This comic came out 12 or so years after the popular toy was released, and that toy was a best seller for years, so I find it hard to believe Jack Kirby could have been completely unaware of the game’s existence.
This piece of lore is not really dealt with, but it is lore. I bring this up because A) I am now treating it as essential canon that must be in all adaptations of the Eternals and 2) this issue is back to being about lore again...
I can’t stress enough that I personally love lore, but surely this is not the best way to dole out superhero action. I don’t know enough about what was going on at Marvel at the time (I hear that editorial was not fond of the Eternals, which we’ll discuss more later in the run). But I do know that this is a great example of a comic that could have used more editorial oversight.
You see, Jack Kirby was his own editor on The Eternals. This sounds great at first, but let’s be honest: no one should have to edit their own work, especially not when you have a tight deadline and you’re also doing the art and the writing. Archie Goodwin was apparently involved in the editing process, but it seems very likely that a lot of the editing work fell on Kirby. Why wouldn’t they? As has been established, this comic isn’t a part of the Marvel Universe. So it’s not like we need a Weezie Simonson to keep the lines consistent.
And as a result, we get a lot of extremely lore heavy issues back-to-back-to-back. We also get a lot of weird inconsistencies. Sersi’s name is spelled Sersy for the entirety of Issue 3. In this issue, Sersi calls Margo “Carol.”
Depicted: perhaps this is just Sersi asserting her dominance by pretending to forget Margo’s name
And in the end, in part because of a lack of oversight, we get yet another issue where very little happens. Sersi and Margo get kidnapped and Sersi tries to escape, only to be forced to submit to save Margo’s life. This is exciting, but brief. Earlier, Sersi calls Olympia for help, summoning Makarri and Thena, who won’t affect the plot for another issue.
But we don’t even see much of Olympia. I can’t tell you a single fact about it other than, yeah, they play Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots there.
What we do learn about is characters, so let me take some time to introduce you to the four that will determine the fate of the world.
Makkari: He wears red and loves fast vehicles and levitating. Humans misheard his name as Mercury, do you get it??? Of all the adult Eternals, we’re told he’s the most childish. We know he has a flying machine that can travel at the speed of light, which he and Thena to get from Olympia (presumably near Greece) to New York. This means that he and Thena take about 0.0000069 seconds to get to their destination and they probably destroy everything in their flightpath.
In the film, Makkari will be played by Lauren Ridloff, who is a woman, Afro-Latina, and deaf. This is an amazing swerve and brings some much needed representation to the MCU. Makkari is technically one of the most important characters in this series! Likewise, in the upcoming Eternals comic series from Gillen and Ribić, Makkari appears to be a woman with fairly dark skin.
The fact that you have not heard horrible people complaining about this on the Internet via bad faith arguments tells you just how little anyone other than me cares about the Eternals.
Zuras: He is the leader of the Eternals, and as such is the wisest and most powerful. He’s kind of like Odin if Odin lost at Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots more often and had red hair everywhere that made him look half wizened and half like a sasquatch. When Zuras gets mad, he shoots lightning everywhere, which I guess means he’s supposed to be Zeus, but Zeus doesn’t really sound that much like Zuras.
By all accounts, Zuras, King of the Eternals, is Sir Not Appearing In This Film.
Thena: Zuras’s only daughter is quick-witted and hot-headed, kind of like Sersi if Sersi were a super strong bruiser and significantly less flirty. Presumably, she inspired our legends of Athena, or I guess maybe the theistic concept of gods in general, or alternatively The Nanny. She’s always getting one-up over her father and friends, is absolutely more narratively-important than he is, and in general is extremely cool--by far my second favorite Eternal.
In the upcoming film, Thena will be played by Angelina Jolie, which makes me believe she’ll be an incredibly prominent role. I am somehow completely devoid of opinions about Angelina Jolie so, I dunno anything else?
Domo: Domo is featured on the cover of this issue, where we’re told he’s important. I cannot tell you a single notable thing about Domo. He’s basically like mission control or maybe a guard for the Eternals, and tells Makkari to be less rash. I don’t believe he ever does anything important in this series and I don’t believe he’s appearing in the movie either.
Anyway, so now you’re caught up on all the lore. Writing it down now, I’m realizing that it’s somehow too much and also not enough? As we’ve discussed, these characters are pretty broadly drawn. It shouldn’t take so long to introduce us to these basic archetypes. But it would surely be more interesting if we learned more about the characters? We’re five issues in and no one is well-rounded, but also no real superhero combat has happened. It’s a weird push and pull, and I wish someone would have untangled it.
Like it or not, we’re still on the lore train.
And coming next time: What’s the best title a Marvel comic ever had? I’d argue it’s GODS AND MEN AT CITY COLLEGE! Which is this issue!
I don’t mean the gruff, down-to-earth, hardworking types like Ben Grimm and Oberon that feel somewhat inspired by his actual persona. I mean, Jack Kirby had a type, in the “ooh, Jack Kirby likes a girl!” kinda way.
We know a lot about Jack Kirby’s relationship to Roz Goldstein, and how she served as the inspiration for Big Barda. That says a lot, honestly, and is why I speculate that Jack Kirby just really liked tough, confident, powerful, fun-loving women.
Depicted: Big Barda fits into my favorite category: women who could absolutely kill me with minimal effort
I would argue that Jack Kirby was right about a lot of things and boy, this sure is one of them. This kind of character is a wonderful archetype in every story it appears, and also, real people who are like this are also wonderful. This describes Barda to a T, and I’d argue it also describes Sersi in The Eternals.
And this is why Sersi is the only good Eternal...
We met Sersi in the last issue, clad in her signature one-piece bathing suit getup, and reminiscing about how much she misses the parties of Ancient Greece. This is, of course, a huge swerve from the rest of the first three issues, which contain extremely self-serious lore and Ikaris knocking Margo unconscious because her dad told him to.
Depicted: Eternals show up in the most unexpected places, like one of the most populous and diverse cities on Earth(?)
In this issue, we learn more about Sersi, specifically that she loves rearranging the atoms in things to turn them into other things. Such things include “doing close-up magic to impress Merlin” and “turning all of Ulysses’s men into hogs” because yup, she’s that Circe.
(Aside: Margo is told that Sersi’s name is spelled that way because the Greeks spelled it wrong, which doesn’t explain either the fact that the Greeks use a different alphabet than we do and the other fact that Margo had not seen Sersi’s name written down so wouldn’t realize it was spelled differently)
Sersi is fun, a breath of fresh air in a fairly stuffy series. Building off of what was discussed in the last installment of It’s Only Forever, she’s the only character in this series who feels like a Marvel protagonist. Honestly, she plays with a trope Marvel wouldn’t really return to until She-Hulk.
Depicted: This is Sersi’s reaction to turning Deviants into lizards and folks, I love Sersi
Sersi isn’t largely important to the main plot of the Eternals. She acts as Margo’s bodyguard in this particular storyline and then kinda just appears to be a flirty, chaotic-good force throughout the entire run. She sticks around, because Jack Kirby clearly likes her a lot. I’m glad she does.
(Aside: Sersi will be played by Gemma Chan in the MCU Eternals movie, which feels like a good choice. However, you may remember she previously played Minn-Erva (That One Kree Woman Captain Marvel Fought in Captain Marvel), and folks, I am not ready for jokes / fan theories / fan works about this fact. I’m just not strong enough. Wasn’t Chris Evans Johnny Storm enough??)
Sersi’s not the only way this issue marks an improvement for the Eternals (a series I already liked, but still). The plot really picks up as Kro sends all of his devilish hench-Deviants to attack Manhattan. We don’t get a ton of superhero action; it’s more of a sci-fi B-horror movie as devils menace cops and Kro laughs maniacally about it.
Kro’s plan is that if he can convince humans that demons have returned to Earth (from outer space), they’ll start panicking and lash out at anything different from them, which will get them to attack the Celestials. (You’ll remember that Kro and his Deviants hate the Celestials because they like doing crimes and the Celestials don’t want that.)
Depicted: Folks, I think I like Kro as a villain???
I’ve been listening to a lot of the amazing podcast You’re Wrong About, which spends a lot of time discussing the real-world Satanic Panic. (You should listen to the episodes on Michelle Remembers if you want more context). It’s fantastic that The Eternals is playing around with the same idea, tying fear of the abstract evil of Satan to escalating fear of anything and anyone unusual. This is where, despite all the sci-fi weirdness, the series finally seems like it’s trying to comment on real-world issues, which is always where comics excel.
Also in this issue, Ikaris gets knocked unconscious by a BRAIN MINE and then gets sealed into a torpedo and shot into the ocean, so that’s a positive as well.
Depicted: he deserves it
The Eternals might be just the series I was looking for after all.
And coming next time: what do Eternals do for fun? It’s not what you expect. I promise that.
When you’re setting up your own mythology--you know, your own pantheon of gods and demigods and demons, or I guess your own pantheon of Celestials and Eternals and Deviants--it takes time. Case in point: we’re three issues into Eternals and Jack Kirby is still giving exposition. We’ve yet to have a real fight, or any real character growth, or anything like that. We do, however, have more lore dumps.
Depicted: Arishem, like all Celestials, is badass. We can agree on that.
Now if you’re like me, and you love rules, you think this is terrific. Please, tell me more about how Ajak’s atoms were stored inside a cube for hundreds of years so that he could one day jump out and be an airport landing control man for space gods. Please, please, I want to hear all about the destruction formula printed on Arishem’s thumb. Please, please, please, tell me about more biblical myths that were actually solved by Ikaris just flyin’ around.
Depicted: the official shirt of all Eternals fans
You know, it’s probably not just me. All audiences probably love rules and long exposition, so I know we’re all very excited for at least thirty minutes of Marvel’s next big franchise to be devoted to explaining what the Deviants are.
Heck, just call me Professor Daniel Damien because I too might seal myself in an Inca tomb for 50 years just so I can learn everything about the Celestials.
Yeah...
...that happens in this issue. You see, Margo’s father knows the only purpose in his life is to learn about the Celestials, so he opts to abandon his daughter and everyone he’s ever known to help Ajak be a flight controller from inside a tiny room. He and Ajak can’t leave this room for fifty years, and given how slowly comics time goes (1 year for every 6 years in our world, if HoXPoX is to be believed), they are still there. In every Marvel event since 1976, we need to believe Dr. Damien is trapped off-panel throughout, probably doing Odd Couple-esque bits with Ajak the Lord of Flight.
For a series with three issues of exposition, the Professor’s decision to get locked up happens very quickly, and, most importantly, completely without Margo’s consent. Obviously, I don’t expect Margo to be able to tell her dad what to do. But Margo wants to stay with her dad, whom I should stress is the only person she loves and the only family she has. Her dad wants her to go off and live her own life, which he does by having Ikaris knock her out and force her into a plane, which he flies to Manhattan (not the city where Margo lives).
Depicted: Our hero, folks!
This is weird on basically every level, right? It’s a kidnapping that directly follows a father saying he’d rather live in a tomb than help his daughter. I get he wants to learn about the Celestials, but dude, we know they’re coming and they’re the size of mountains. You don’t have to live in Ajak’s Amazing Flying Bunker to study them. You can just come to New York with Ikaris and Margo.
And you’d think in thousands of years, Ikaris would have learned to do better than go along with this.
Depicted: You wanna bet?
Which leads me to another big conclusion about The Eternals. The Eternals doesn’t like characters. It likes ideas and themes, but the series couldn’t care less about Margo, or even Ikaris. This is such a stark contrast to the bones of the Marvel Universe, which was always sold around Spider-Man’s struggles with responsibility and Ben Grimm’s struggles with self-acceptance. My earlier jokes aside, we all know audiences love the way the characters in the MCU bounce off of each other: their quips, their flirtations, their in-fighting.
Eternals is not a story about this. Eternals is a story about chess pieces moving around on a board. In this issue, Kro moves to terrorize New York by changing to look even more like Satan, but he only wants to do this to make the Celestials angry. His actions aren’t motivated by personal needs, but by deep-seated cultural grudges. And by being a pink Koopa Troopa man.
Depicted: I think this is how the W*yf**r conspiracy started?
So it doesn’t surprise me Margo gets mistreated like this, because the most important thing here is momentum. I just wish I had a character to like in this adventure...hmmm....
That’s right, next time I’m gonna be talking about Sersi, the only good Eternal.
Who among us has not read a myth? Certainly Jack Kirby has. I mean, we know the guy loved Norse stuff. We also can look towards the New Gods, wherein he created his own mythology, and since that mythology had a guy named Virman Vundabar, we know it’s a top-tier mythology.
Eternals is somewhere in between Thor and the New Gods, because Kirby’s trying to create his own mythology but that mythology is on Earth, so it spins off of existing mythology.
Depicted: not a myth I remember from college
Each Eternal corresponds to a mythological figure we already know. The conceit is that humans have misheard and misunderstood the Eternals, and believed them to be things they are not. This is expanded on in later issues (and I usually don’t like to get ahead of myself like that!), but c’mon, it’s pretty obvious by now that Ikaris is Icarus. In this issue, we meet Ajak, who is presumably Ajax.
This is a pretty straightforward idea, honestly. It’s got some potential for fun storylines, and presumably lets Kirby use characters that are both all his own and familiar to audiences.
There’s one problem, though...
Jack Kirby is not interested in any form of accuracy. In fact, Jack Kirby is so actively disinterested in accuracy that I question that he even knew anything about these mythological figures. For one thing, Ikaris never acts prideful or falls or anything like that. For another, Ajak is the Eternal who is the Lord of Flight, except Ajax has never been associated with flight. Moreover, we are told the Inca people apparently worshipped Ajak as the flight god Tecumotzin.
Depicted: Ajak, aka Tecumotzin, is stronger than Greece
Folks, from the best of my research, I can find no evidence of an Inca god named Tecumotzin. So this mythological connection is meaningless on two levels.
This is part of why I am so unsure of the Eternals as a massive, global movie. Are people going to like having random stuff made up about their beliefs and cultures?
Well, I can tell you one group who might be a little peeved about how Jack Kirby plays fast and loose with their mythology, and it’s the Christians.
Because when you look at it, adding the Eternals to the MCU means that now, we’re accepting that man was made by the Celestials. We’re accepting that demons are actually weird guys named Kro and Tode who live under the ocean. And, in this issue, we’re being asked to understand a new narrative of the Great Flood.
Depicted: anger
See, the Earth wasn’t flooded because of the sins of man, but because of the sins of the Deviants. In fact, we learn that Kro and Tode and their pals were conquering the world from the island of Lemuria, enslaving humans and using them as farm animals. They got bigger and bigger egos, and when the Celestials showed up to judge the Earth, as they do from time to time, the Deviants attacked them. So the Celestials blew up the Earth with a flood bomb, which is why the Deviants now live under the sea.
And Ikaris guided an ark full of humans and animals to safety. That’s right gang, Ikaris is the dove. Your pal Richard Madden is gonna be playing the dove that guided Noah to the mountain.
Depicted: even less of a dove than Pidgey is
Now look: Disney does not have to incorporate this plot point. We could tell this story fine with the Deviants being banished in another way and having a slightly different reason for holding a grudge against the Celestials. But baked into this entire premise is the idea that Christianity is largely false, and mankind was born from the Celestials. There is literally no way to tell this story without doing that, and once this is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, this means that suddenly Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, and pals are Godless Heathens.
I am not certain this will go over well with a vocal portion of the world.
Otherwise, not a ton happens in this issue besides this table-setting. The Celestials are approaching. Kro tries to attack them, but literally does nothing before being forced to retreat. Ikaris wakes up Ajak, who has been stored as a bunch of atoms in a box so that when the Celestials return, he can be their ground control.
Aside: Ajak will be played by Salma Hayek in this movie. An ostensibly white male character is being played by a Latina woman, and that isn’t constantly being yelled about by awful people on Twitter. This proves that I am the only person who cares about the Eternals.
And then, we get the arrival of Arishem of the Fourth Host, the first Celestial we see. The Celestials are amazing looking: as I said, the visuals are absolutely a highlight of this series. I love the Celestials, and I can’t wait to see how they’re interpreted on the big screen.
Depicted: Arishem is so cool, folks
But only time will tell how audiences react to being judged in this way. I’ll believe it when I see it.
And coming next issue: Marvel comics have to go to New York, even if Spider-Man isn’t there.
Jack Kirby is the king of comics for many reasons, like his peerless art, boundless creativity, and frightening productivity. Also probably his amazing narration skills. Check out Mister Miracle to see what I really mean. But you can also check out The Eternals, which opens with the most powerful question of all:
“IS MAN ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE?”
If you’re a thoughtful Marvel comics reader, though, you might recognize a flaw in this question. The year was 1976, and it had been 14 years since Jack Kirby conclusively answered that question in Fantastic 4 Volume 1 Issue 2, “The Skrulls From Outer Space.” Mankind is not alone in the Marvel Universe, because there are Skrulls and Galactus and Impy the Impossible Man. Likewise, Jack Kirby had also already told us mankind is not alone on the Earth, because he has written comics featuring Atlanteans (like Attuma) and mutants (like Unus the Untouchable) and Inhumans (like Aireo).
So what’s the deal? Well....
Literally in this first line, I realized something no one has ever said about the Eternals before: this book is not supposed to take place in the Marvel Universe.
Mankind is not alone in the universe, but the Eternals are alone in their own Universe.
This thought is something we’ll be tracking throughout our read-through. I’ll tell you now, there’s more evidence coming soon, notably that Not A Single Other Marvel Character Even Cameos In This Book.
Depicted: The kind of thing the Fantastic 4 usually would handle
Look, it makes sense. Kirby did not like having his characters messed with. We know he resented the way his ideas got treated once he was gone, and we know he desperately wanted to make his Own Thing. That was the point of New Gods, right? Kirby wanted to carve out his own part of the DC Multiverse; he wanted to tell one complete story that no one else could meddle in. And he tried, but then they did.
So it obviously makes sense that Kirby would want to just have his own little sandbox to get cosmic in, without needing Reed Richards to explain why the Celestials can’t just be threatened with the Ultimate Nullifier this time.
But it explains, already, one narration box in, why this comic feels like such a weird fit in the Marvel Universe. It isn’t about Skrulls or Kree or Kronans. You’ll see that it doesn’t really mesh with Marvel’s everyman themes. This is something new.
This is...well, it’s...something.
There’s probably more worldbuilding in this issue than in any other single issue of any comic, but the plot that happens is basically just a lot of people going to South America. Which is fine, I guess. We’ll talk about the plot later, but let’s take this time to establish some of the primary lore elements we’ve learned so far.
Eons ago, unknowable space gods called the Celestials came to Earth. They saw apes, and like any unreasonably powerful godlike beings, they decided to evolve them into three forms.
Depicted: Some Deviant art
Humans are pretty run-of-the-mill. The Jolteons of the crew, if you will. You know them: they love to cause problems on purpose and on accident. The second bunch are the Deviants. They aren’t artists who love Sonic the Hedgehog, but horrific monstrosities who love doing evil. Flareon, of course. And lastly, the Vaporeons: the Eternals. The Space Gods’ greatest triumph. We learn in this issue that the Eternals are beautiful, cannot die, can hover, shoot lasers out of their eyes, and probably do whatever. Then the Celestials left, only to return semi-regularly to check in on their cool evolutions. Throughout history, Eternals and Deviants have appeared in human legends as gods, heroes, monsters, and demons. And now, in 1976, we are finally becoming aware of this fact as the Celestials return to cast their final judgment on all three species.
They’re doing this in some incredibly-cool-looking Kirby space ruins, located in an Inca temple. Cultural appropriation is obviously a big problem in all Ancient Alien comics, but I can’t deny that the visuals are the best part of the Eternals.
Depicted: South America is basically space
We meet a few characters as well, who are going to show up a few times. The Professor and his daughter Margo are our two main humans. He’s studying ancient history, and has agreed to let a mysterious man named Ike Harris show him these ancient ruins.
Who is Ike Harris? Well, if you say that name really quickly, and pronounce the “I” incorrectly, you’ll realize he’s Ikaris the Eternal, in disguise to try to get to the Andes to send a beacon to guide the space gods back to Earth. We don’t know much about Ikaris yet, aside from that he’s a handsome blond man who can shoot lasers out of his eyes and rearrange the atoms in the air to turn it into a solid wall.
Also joining the fray in this issue are Kro and Tode of the Deviants. Kro looks like how the devil looks when he shows up in certain Twilight Zone episodes, except he has the sunglasses that the Koopa Troopas wear in the early Paper Mario games, and Tode looks like Jabba the Hutt with arms and legs. The Deviants have a couple of key problems. One is that they can’t produce consistently-viable offspring and are instead breeding Deviants who are basically just Humans. The other is that they don’t want the Celestials to return to Earth, presumably because they’ve been naughty and they’ll get in big trouble.
Depicted: Kro’s parents
Also they live at the bottom of the ocean and shoot down airplanes for no real reason.
So the last thing you need to know is that Kro and his henchmen ride a submarine through a stone dragon’s mouth to reach these Inca ruins from underwater, which is a little weird when you remember that most Incan structures are several hundred miles above seawater.
And then, here we are: Humans! Deviants! And Eternals! Together in an Incan ruin, with the Celestials on their way.
It’s a dense issue. We literally learn all of these facts here, and still have time for Kro to try shooting Ikaris with a laser gun. I have no idea how quickly they’re gonna attempt to explain all of this in a major motion picture, but we’ll worry about that later on I guess. For now, we’re left off an exciting cliffhanger: the Celestials are on their way back to Earth, and no one knows if that’s good or bad!!
We aren’t alone in the Universe, but I’m kinda thinking things were an awful lot simpler when we were.
And coming next issue...Does Jack Kirby know any Inca mythology anyway?
IT’S ONLY FOREVER: DAILYFANTASTIC’S DEEP LOOK AT THE ETERNALS
PART 1
Years before this quarantine began, we all heard the news that Marvel would be releasing a film based on The Eternals. The MCU, the biggest franchise in the world, needed a big follow-up to Endgame, and they chose The Eternals.
Depicted above: the movie you are obviously excited about
Before this announcement, you probably had not heard of the Eternals, a cosmic comic series most of the comics-reading population had never read. Admittedly, I had not heard of the Guardians of the Galaxy when that was announced, but admittedly, that was at a time when, if audiences reacted poorly to otherwise-unpopular characters, Marvel could fall back on Iron Man or Captain America.
Now, they can’t. Those two are dead, or so people tell me. I never saw Endgame, because I love games (such as Super Mario World and Scrabble) and I wouldn’t want those to end.
So here we are, with the Eternals. And, well...
When this announcement was made, I had read more Marvel comic books than most people on Earth have. I could explain Cassandra Nova to people, and the true name of Shalla-Bal, and the secrets of Bova’s life on Wundagore Mountain. But I did not know what an Eternal is.
Flash forward to August 2019, and I still haven’t read any book with the Eternals in it. I was a naive comics fan, who knew nothing of the Eternals and nothing of the horrors to come in 2020. But then I was on a train to Philadelphia, and I decided that I should read the entirety of the original run of Jack Kirby’s Eternals. I wanted to understand. I needed to know what an Eternal is.
Depicted above: the train to Philadelphia
Folks, I learned everything there was to know about the original Eternals run. It blew my mind how bizarre and pointless and bananas it is. I knew my quest was larger than before. I had to teach everyone in the world what an Eternal was, so they all would know how misguided this whole “Eternals movie” idea was. Before the summer of 2020, I would let you all know the truth.
I was going to write things.
Then, life happened. Work got in the way, and responsibilities, and depression, and Pokemon Sword and replaying Super Mario World. Then 2020 happened, and work got weirder, and responsibilities got weirder, and depression got weirder, and Animal Crossing.
Depicted above: your Uncle Petunio hanging out on Good Krakoa
In other words, I never wrote anything about the Eternals before my deadline. I failed in my mission.
Or did I? As you doubtlessly know, Marvel has postponed the Eternals movie, and no one can really say when we’ll be meeting Ikaris and Sersi and Sprite. So, I got a second chance. A second chance to help you all learn.
And I am taking it.
Folks, welcome back to a very special new miniseries version of DailyFantastic.
