Daily Helloooo

The musings of two friends who live in different states but are looking for a way to share the "little stuff" with each other.

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

WHY IS THIS NOT A BIGGER DEAL?!?!?!

Have you heard about this?!?!  I have been telling everyone I know and no one seems concerned enough!!!  There is not nearly enough news coverage on this and I am having a hard time moving on with my life like everything is okay.

Here's what happened:

Two men were running across a freeway bridge in Miami naked, you know, as you do.  When they got to the other side, they went under an underpass on the pedestrian walkway and apparently started fighting.  This drew the attention of a road ranger (I was unclear on the fact that there are "rangers" that are not "park rangers" or "Texas rangers," but whatever) and then a cop.  Anyway the cop went over and found one of the naked guys crouching over the other...EATING THE OTHER GUY'S FACE OFF.

Cop: Um...excuse me sir, but you cannot do that.

[crazed man continues eating other man's face]

Cop: But really, what you are doing is not okay.  It's really frowned upon.  Please stop.

[crazed man snarls but continues eating the other man's face]

Cop: You leave me no choice sir.  I really wish you would stop.

[cop waits a moment before firing a single shot at crazy naked man, hitting him.  CRAZY NAKED MAN CONTINUES EATING THE OTHER MAN'S FACE ANYWAY!]

Cop: What the?!?!

[cop shoots five more rounds before the crazy naked man dies.  five. more. shots.]

A nearby security camera caught the aftermath on video.  It's blurred out and you can only see the bottom halves of the men's bodies.  You can see the victim trying to sit up.  Right before he succeeds, he props his hand on the ground to help pull himself up.  His hand is covered in blood.  Zombie-infected blood.

One man is dead.  One man is missing half of his face, probably turning into a zombie in a nearby hospital as I type this, and no one seems concerned.

Anyway, this is the story that I have been telling everyone I know.  Picture a lot of shouting and some weird looks from passersby.

The good news is that we have a little time.  It will be a while before the zombies make it out west.  When they do, I'll pick you up in California and we'll buy a boat and head to Hawaii or something.  Sound good?  Good.

Oh, also, here's a link to the real article: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur.html

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

After I did this, my roommate pointed out to me that maybe it's not a coincidence that I have exactly seven close male friends who are (at least semi-) okay with me doing this and there are exactly seven female super heroes in this picture.

A girl in Arizona, with too much time on her hands

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

i seriously cannot control myself and want to laugh everytime i see this cat. 

choice quotes from jezebel : 

A cat that fat can't run away when I want to snuggle.

CATKINS DIET.

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

Math

 me:  accounting + hangover = gibberish  Emily:  genetics + no sleep = gibberish  me:  ergo, genetics = accounting + hangover + sleep?  Emily:  yes.  me:  math makes no sense today.

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

Mashed Potatoes Ahead

You know those signs on the freeway that flash warnings about roadwork and upcoming traffic by using a lot of little lights?  Well, I drove under two of these signs in the last two days that just said "sign under repair."  I understand that they have to write something in order to check that the sign is indeed working.  However, do they have to type something so boring that I have to strain to read from far away only to realize that it is not applicable to my commute in any way?

I think they should just put nonsense words on the board.  Like "Mashed Potatoes!"  Then I thought, what if people see that and think there was a truck accident ahead that involved a crap ton of mashed potatoes spilling all over the road.  But that would really be "mashed potatoes ahead" rather than just "mashed potatoes" so it would be your fault if you got confused.

Anyway, this is what is happening in Arizona today.

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

A simpler time...

The early nineties were a simpler time.  When I was probably six, my brother convinced me to eat an old piñon nut that was sitting in a pile of other piñon nuts on the ground.  After I put it in my mouth, he fell to the ground laughing and said, "do you see a pine tree around here?"  We were in a field.  I had just put old rabbit poop into my mouth.

Anyway, the point of this story is that if I accidently put any kind of poop into my mouth these days, I would probably freak out, brush my teeth a thousand times, throw out that tooth brush, spray shower water directly into my mouth, get a new tooth brush, brush my teeth five hundred more times, chug a bottle of Scope, and cry.

Back then, I just spit it out, chased my brother around for a bit trying to punch him, chewed on a pine needle, and went on with my day.

Signing off, a girl from AZ (who happened to grow up in the forest).

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

Gah!  He's just the littlest thing I have ever seen and he lives in an owl coin purse and he is here to go on adventures with me.

Gah!

Sincerely, AZ

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

Also, I am not as weird as this story makes me seem.

I just bought myself a purse gnome on Etsy.  What is a purse gnome, you might ask.  To find that out, just read the following message I sent to the Etsy seller with my purchase:

For a while now, I have wanted to get a “purse gnome” but when I told my friends about it, they were like, “what is a purse gnome and why on earth do you want one?” and then I was like, “a gnome to carry around in your purse and bring on adventures with you, duh!” and they were like, “ummm, okay weirdo.”

And then you came along and said this in your description: Bring a NOM home to carry around in your pocket and share your adventures.

And then you were my hero.

And also, I am not as weird as this message makes me seem.  I’m just really happy about my new purse gnome.  Thanks so much!”

What I learned from this message and the Etsy seller’s short, yet polite, response is that if you ever have to end a story with “also, I am not as weird as this story makes me seem,” you probably are just as weird as the story makes you seem.

Signing off, AZ.

[dailyhelloooo-blog]

Welcome to our blog

While a welcome post seems a little silly considering that there are only two of us actually reading this blog, it seems even sillier to ignore this simple blog ritual.  So here it is.  I don't really have much more to say about it other than, please enjoy my stories, California Girl.  And I shall enjoy yours.

Signing off, a girl in Arizona.