The Nightmare Before Christmas Liveblogging Sentence Starters
Feel free to change pronouns. Warning: Some may be NSFW/offensive
"Local Man goes through midlife crisis and almost ruins everyone's lives."
"He has a fucking weird kink. You know its bad if I think its weird. "
"He called him Daddy.... does everyone have a daddy kink now?"
"This... this is just too many fucking songs."
"Didn't you just finish singing a song? Now you're singing a solo???"
"Who the fuck has a crisis in a cemetery? Respect the dead fucktard."
"Stalking someone you love is STILL STALKING."
"HOW ARE YOU IN LOVE? Have you guys even talked before this?"
"Real question: why are his legs so long?"
“I’d sleep with him, but hear me out before you judge me.”
"Fuck that guy in Kentucky I guess?"
"Let me just start whining about no one understanding me meanwhile I told everyone to fuck off. GREAT STRATEGY."
"LITERALLY EVERYONE LOVES AND WANTS TO HELP YOU ASSHOLE!"
"Can we talk about how she could have murdered him?"
"I hate these inpatient assholes."
"ITS LITERALLY THE DAY AFTER. GIVE HIM A DAY OFF???"
"Well at least he knows he's useless."
"Someone adoring and caring about you so much that they worry for you? Sounds fake..."
"I don't know how long you lived there, but I'm pretty sure you should have noticed that FUCKING WEIRD DOOR."
"OH NO. ANOTHER SOLO? HOW MANY DO YOU KNOW?"
"This can't be improv. It had to be practiced and that’s sad."
"Is no one is concerned that SATAN lives in your town?"
"OH GOD. A CLOWN? Oh fuck this town."
"Do you not have anything to do besides being stalking him? What are you a 12 year old?"
"Who invited you, Satan?"
"My present is ugly??? Have you seen your face? Fucking rude. Who even asked for your opinion?"
"HOW HAS NO ONE CALLED HIM OUT ON THIS BULLSHIT ALREADY?"
"He got lost in the woods for like days and comes back saying some crazy shit. In my day, we'd burn someone at the stake for that."
"Lying to get what you want is the DEFINITION of manipulation you dramatic fuck."
"You can't be dark and mysterious while going through a midlife crisis!"
"Poisoned? You look like you have a hangover."
“Reading one book doesn’t make you a professional.”
“This stuff is all stolen. You didn’t make that. Don’t lie to me.”
"You'd understand that reaction if you were A SCIENTIST! Not some random asshole doing experiments in their basement! That's how Breaking Bad started!"
"Credit where it's due: she’s dedicated to getting some dick."
"I can’t believe you gave him a present and just ran away. This isn’t a manga!"
"HOW DID THE CHRISTMAS TREE CATCH ON FIRE? LITERALLY. HOW?"
"DON’T SLEEP OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE! YOU’LL LOOK LIKE STALKER!"
"You're worried about him, but have you tried actually asking if he's okay?"
"All you did was say 'I don't understand, fuck it though I do what I want.' And that's not science."
"Why are you giving the most important job to children?"
"They practically worship Satan and you tell them not to involve him. It's really your fault for trusting them."
"See... usually... smart people don't shout out their plans for kidnapping in public."
"All these plans for 'kidnapping' will literally end up in death. Just needed to call you out on this."
"This whole problem could have been avoided with an ol’ fashion blowjob.”
"He should be working, but instead he's looking for a girlfriend. Amazing."
"Sabotaging the love of your life so he doesn't make a fool of himself... true love."
"Oh god. That cat could have fleas. Don't pet it!"
“Why did you touch it! IT WAS IN THE GARBAGE!”
“Your whole problem is you couldn’t tell him you wanted to sleep with him.”
"This song was literally me in high school. Lonely, but still fucking thirsty."
"I know he's gross and evil, but I love him."
"Side note: look at his ass! THICCCC."
"This whole plan revolved around him having a fetish that you're not entirely sure he has."
"I don't care how goth you are, don't ever give me a skull for Christmas OR Halloween."
"He even falls unconscious dramatically. Why is he like this?"
"How can you love someone so dramatic and whiny, [Insert Name]?"
"Nobody understands... okay, but you lied, manipulated, and almost got everyone killed."
"You have Satan and the Boogie Man in your town... how is anyone surprised that bad things happen. You knew what you were getting yourself into moving there."
"You went on an entire quest just because you were bored."
"He just replaced her and no one gave a fuck!"
"Dearest friend? When have you EVER hung out before this shit show started?"
"Stop kissing in the snow! You guys are going to get hypothermia or some shit."
