[dakitis]

Y/N: You have friends, and I envy that.

Frank: You're welcome to my friends.

Y/N: (looks at Billy)

Y/N: I don't want these.

[dakitis]

Y/N: Though I admit I don’t know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck.

Billy: Who told you my secret?

[dakitis]

Y/N, blindfolded: Ooh, did you get me a piñata?

Billy: Nope.

Y/N: Pepsi challenge?

Billy: Nope.

Y/N, deadpan: Am I being executed?

[dakitis]

Billy: I’m totally useless.

Y/N: You’re not totally useless.

Y/N: You can be used as a bad example.

[dakitis]

Billy: We need a plan - how long can you hold your breath underwater?

Y/N: I don't know?

Billy: Are you familiar with the term ‘slam and cram’?

Y/N: No, and I don’t think I want to be.

Billy: How attached are you to your pinky?

Y/N: Very, very attached, and before you ask another terrifyingly vague question, let me be clear: any plan that involves even one of those scenarios isn’t going to work for me.

[dakitis]

Billy: You’re giving me a sticker?

Y/N: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Billy: I’m not a preschooler.

Y/N: Fine, I’ll take it back.

Billy: I earned this, back off!

[dakitis]

Billy: What would you do if I was kidnapped?

Y/N: Nothing. I’d wait for 15 minutes when they’d give you back voluntarily.

[dakitis]

Y/N: You're maybe the most high-maintenance bitch I've ever met.

Billy: "Maybe"? Who's more? Who are they?

[dakitis]

[Y/N and Frank are discussing something in front of Billy]

Billy: If I may interject...

Y/N: Oh, awesome, Billy was eavesdropping.

[dakitis]

Y/N: [running towards Billy with open arms]

Billy: [moves out of the way]

Y/N: Hey, why'd you move?!

Billy: I thought you were going to attack me.

Y/N: I was going to hug you!

Billy: Why would you hug me?

Y/N: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU?!

[dakitis]

Billy: If we make it out of this alive, I will kill you.

Y/N: So what's our incentive to live?!

[dakitis]

Y/N: Billy, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement–

Billy: Aww, thanks–

Y/N: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

[dakitis]

Billy: Well I did go to summer camp. For two weeks. I got kicked out.

Y/N: Kicked out?

Billy: Yeah. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say I don’t like liars who steal nail polish and then pass out when you slap them a little bit on the back of their neck.

[dakitis]

Billy: Are you busy?

Y/N: Yes.

Billy: Cool, listen to this.

[dakitis]

Billy: Damn, Y/N, are you secretly cool?

Y/N: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Billy: I do not.

[dakitis]

Y/N: If I went missing for a week, would you be concerned?

Billy: Yes.

Y/N: Wait, really? I thought you wouldn't care.

Billy, aggressively: You're my friend.

Y/N: I don't like how you said that–

Billy, more aggressively: You're my friend!

Y/N: Why are you yelling that at me?!

Billy, screaming: YOU'RE MY FRIEND!

[dakitis]

Billy: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Y/N: What?

Billy: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Y/N: Can we go back to the part where you said "when I get murdered"?