[damagedghostwriter]

Tired.

Tired. 

I am so tired of dealing with the emotional and verbal abuse from you. 

What do I have to do for you to leave me alone?

Why is it so hard for a grown “man” to speak to the mother of his child with an ounce of respect? 

Who raised these men out here to treat someone who cares for their child with such disrespect? 

Tired. 

I am so tired. 

When will this stop?

What will it take for you to stop? 

Because I want a civil coparenting relationship you have to act this way. 

You have to be a selfish, disrespectful individual. 

Then to have the audacity to behave the way you do in front of a child? 

Tired. 

Exhausted. 

Done. 

[damagedghostwriter]

Need.

I have a need to feel wanted. 

I have a need to feel like I am NEEDED. 

If I am not needed, why am I here? 

I have to feel as though I am required to keep the puzzle together. To keep things together. 

Needed. 

[damagedghostwriter]

Rise.

I will rise.

Every time you bring me down I pick myself back up.

You will not win.

Your words will no longer hurt me.

Your actions will no longer hurt me.

You will not win.

I will rise.

[damagedghostwriter]

Tired.

Tired of blaming my past.

Tired of living scared.

Tired of not living my life to the fullest.

Tired of being scared of love.

I know I’m scarred.

I know I’m damaged.

I own it.

I’m tired.

[damagedghostwriter]

Broken Girl.

Broken girl.

Real broken girl.

When will you realize your worth?

I mean, really realize it and own it?

When?

When will you stop making excuses for your choices?

When will you stop making choices that you regret later?

Choices that have you reflect on life and question yourself instead of praise yourself.

You have to stop telling yourself that it is okay to behave this way.

This isn’t you.

You’re worth more than what you’re delivering.

Broken girl.

Know your worth.

Broken girl.

Know you’re worth every cent.

[damagedghostwriter]

I will never understand why you treated me the way.

I will never understand why you did me so dirty.

I’m learning that your actions were not my responsibility.

It’s my job and my duty to heal myself of men that made me feel like less, inadequate.

It is my responsibility to love muself in all of the ways you didn’t.

[damagedghostwriter]

Confession.

I’m still healing.

I’m not ready to give someone my all just yet.

Allow me the time to repair me so that I can give you the best version of me.

The only version of me that you should know as me today.

[damagedghostwriter]

I still question my worth often enough to say you still have power over me.

- words from a healing soul

[damagedghostwriter]

Learning.

I’m learning.

Learning to protect myself.

Learning to protect my happiness.

Learning to protect my peace.

Learning.

♥️

[damagedghostwriter]

Prison.

Why do you make me feel as though I can’t live my life?

Why do you make me feel as though I can’t be happy?

Dealing with someone like you has me scared to date.

Dealing with someone like you means I would have to be so selfish to date.

I don’t want anyone to have to hear the way you disrespect me.

I don’t want anyone to have to feel like being with me is a risk they have to take.

You are the reason I am single.

You are the reason I won’t commit.

I need you to let me go so that I can stop feeling like I am in a prison you constructed to keep control over me.

I deserve happiness with someone else.

I deserve to be let go from your mess.

Release me from your prison.

I am ready to be happy.

[damagedghostwriter]

FREE.

I don’t feel like I’m free.

Free from the abuse.

Free from the pain.

The feeling that I have to have my guard up at all times.

The feeling that my body is never out of survival mode.

How does one live like that?

It’s unhealthy. It’s stressful.

Maybe you’ll be sorry for doing all of this to me.

Maybe one day you’ll stop and let me feel comfortable enough to live my life the way I want to.

Maybe one day you’ll allow me to enjoy what real happiness is without feeling the need to ruin it or to run from it.

One day,

I hope you’ll let me be free.

[bnmxfld]

a gentle reminder:

you are still learning. you are still changing. you are still growing. breathe. you will find your way.

[damagedghostwriter]

Lack of Effort

I crave security

I need consistency

Why would I waste my time on someone that can’t give me either?

All I ever hear are excuses

It’s me

I’m the issue

It’s not the other person

I can admit that I don’t open up easily

I can admit that I am not big on taking risks

I can admit that I am not perfect

If I start to put in more effort and it goes unnoticed I will pull away

I don’t want to waste my time on someone when they can’t match my effort

I don’t want to waste my time on someone I don’t think provides what I need to open up fully

Should it be my job to tell the next person that the amount of effort from their end sucks?

People put effort into things they care about, things they want

I crave security

I need consistency

[damagedghostwriter]

Alone.

I’ve gotten used to being alone.

When I say alone, I’m referring to my relationship status.

Single.

It’s difficult for me to see my life any other way considering how long it’s been.

It’s difficult for me to see my life with a person added to the mix.

A consistent person.

I’m used to it just being me.

I’m comfortable with it just being me.

I need the time alone to reset after all that happens in my life.

It’s my escape.

It’s my escape.

The real question will be if and when will I be ready for someone to disrupt this?

Do I have to? Can I still have this relationship with myself? A relationship with me.

Alone.

[damagedghostwriter]

Run.

I wish I could run away.

Run far, far away.

I cannot do this anymore.

Emotionally I am broken and you somehow find a way to keep breaking me.

Why?

Why are you so broken that you continue to do this to me?

Do you think I really deserve this?

Sadly, I’ll never be able to run away and I just pray that you make that choice for yourself and our child. She needs one stable person in her life and that will always be me.

Always. 💜

[damagedghostwriter]

A Good Woman.

A Good Woman.

What man knows what to do when they have a real woman that loves them?

It happens so often that an amazing woman is hurt by someone that swore they loved them.

Why?

What’s the reason?

I feel that so many people don’t want to deal with their demons. The hurt they’ve felt in the past still haunts them and they take it into the next relationship. Some feel that they aren’t enough so instead of being honest they hurt the person they say they love. Some don’t know what real love is and end up dependent on that other person. That’s not real love.

Real love is raw.

Real love is true.

Real love is honest.

Does anyone know what that is anymore?

So many good women out here hurt by men/women that didn’t have it together, but thought they did. I hate it. Love isn’t the same anymore.

[damagedghostwriter]

Time to Heal

Time.

Take time to heal from the past.

Take time to get your next wants and needs together.

Take time to go over what you don’t want.

Time.

Give yourself time.