FUCK.

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[damnamazondahm]

Midnight Anxiety

Sometimes its painful to scroll through my social media because i see so many people living out the dreams that I’m too much of a coward to reach for myself. I see all these body positive women, looking fabulous, being happy with themselves and with their bodies. 

What is wrong with me? Why must I be so ashamed of my body? 

Ya know, Dionne gets so frustrated with me because I have to sleep with noise or netflix in the background. Honestly its because if I don’t have some sort of distraction, my thoughts wont let me sleep. I will think the nastiest thoughts of myself, over and over again. It gets to the point where I picture a completely different life for myself, then becoming envious of that version of me. Sends my anxiety through the roof. Like right now. 

I hate anxiety. Just when I feel like I'm getting better, I get worst. Im starting to hate getting out of bed. Im starting to hate getting dressed and going places because I feel like no matter what I put on, i’ll be this fat thing that I never imagined myself being. Some days I hate everything about myself. 

Everyday is difficult. Honestly I dont know how to make it any better. 

[blackandcurvy]

IG : @iamjoyceekwe the people,

[fuforthought]

[damnamazondahm]

My Fresh Start

I remember being 15 and saying “Slap me if I ever have to shop in the plus-size section”. I was a size 10, which to me felt like the biggest in the world. And here I am now, over 50lbs heavier with that same mentality. Still not happy with myself, still refusing and embarrassed to shop in the plus-size sections. Still feeling like I can’t be happy until I’m back to the size I was in 10th grade. But even then I wasn’t happy, wasn’t confident, and now looking back on pictures of myself from when I was younger, I cringe and how much i didn't appreciate myself.

I’m 22, 245lbs. I have brand new stretch marks on my hips, sides, stomach, and arms. They look like someone clawed at my skin, bright red, and growing everyday. Im trying to love it, love them, every last one of them. I see so many people that are in love with their bodies, no matter how big, small, curvy, bumpy, smooth. I want that. I want that confidence. I know it probably wasn't easy for them. I know it wont be easy for me. But I’m ready now. Im ready to stop being ashamed. Im ready to acknowledge my size and appreciate it. Im ready to truly love myself because my size does not define me. I define me. 

So new me, THERE ARE PLUS SIZE SECTIONS FOR A REASON, USE THEM. stop making yourself feel like so low because you can’t fit clothes that were not made for you. Theres plenty of clothing companies that make clothes just for you. Use them, appreciate them. Appreciate you. 

[did-you-know]

In Japan, public napping is a sign of hard work. It’s called ‘inemuri,’ which means ‘sleeping on duty’ or 'sleeping while present.’ Because falling asleep in public is thought to be a symptom of working yourself to exhaustion, it’s socially acceptable in restaurants, stores, commuter trains, and on park benches- as long as you don’t sprawl out and take up too much space. Source Source 2

[damnamazondahm]

HOBBIES IM RECLAIMING IN 2018

I’ve always loved singing so I have to make sure that I just dont stop singing because i love it and just because im not in school focusing on it anymore doesn’t mean i have to stop. 

MAKEUPPPPPPP: I use to loveeeeeeeeeeeee doing my face. I feel like with my recent weight gain i’ve let a lot of things go, like making myself feel bad as fuck. 

GETTING MY NAILES DONE: I use to get my nails done FAITHFULLY, every 3 weeks and for some reason i haven’t been doing that. but getting my nails done always made me feel like that bitch. I know i’ve been trying to get away from acrylics but i can’t let that stop me from feeling like a bad bitch when i get my nubs done. 

I know all of these are pretty material but these are all things that have made me feel like myself ALWAYS. so i am CLAIMING that i make these my hobbies again in 2018.

[columbos-dog]

Women who would make a better Storm than Alexandra Shipp

Yaya Dacosta

Aja Naomi King 

Rutina Wesley 

Janelle Monae

Naomi Harris 

Jodie Turner-Smith

[thoughtfulbearpanda]

Adding on to this

Chantel Riley

[beautynthemoonlight-deactivated]

Yetide Badaki

[nabyss]

😍😍😍😍😍

[saturnineaqua]

And they can actually act

[nyokoko]

Deborah Ayorinde

[azulaphoenixqueen]

Jade Eshete

[ourqueenfelinefatale]

Teyonah Parris

[wecanalldobetter]

Why we deserve better than Alexandra Shipp:

https://thegrapevine.theroot.com/light-skinned-black-actress-thinks-black-folks-criticiz-1821343819

[sauvamente]

Jodie or Rutina would be phenomenal

[thatprettymvthafvcka]

Omg I can totally see Rutina being Storm

[king-bvm]

So the black women ain’t black enough for y’all to play storm 🤔🤔😒😒😒🤔🤔

[xenolithia]

It has nothing to do with that and everything to do with the same type of black women being chosen for big screen to represent us. It’s the fact that these women can do this too just as good if not better,and they deserve to have screen time just as much as lighter skinned women. But 9/10 a lighter skin women is chosen because that’s deemed “acceptable”, and dark skin women are left in the shadows again trying to prove that they’re good enough to be on screen. Just imagine if they casted T’challa as a light skinned man knowing that he’s portrayed as dark skin in the comics, just as Storm is portrayed as dark skin in the comics. It’s not fair, and the “not black enough” argument needs to just cease and desist. It’s such a counterproductive rebuttal to a real conversation that people are trying to have.

[king-bvm]

All I see is black people finding an excuse to use colorism again their own, if you truly believe that then fine I won’t argue you with you but I just disagree. Shawty black just like storm black. Whether she darker in the summer and lighter in the winter she still black. Let her get the coins ya still going to watch the movie.

[xenolithia]

Good lord you’re an idiot. I’m going to pray for you to get some knowledge.

[thingslynsbrothersays]

He’s missing the aspect of representation. She’s not “black just like Storm”. Storm was African - dark as Lupita; not a young woman who’s lineage definitely got some European in it. And he’s already resigned himself to deduce it’s fine.

Mike Jackson was black but light skin - was it okay for a white dude to play him? Obviously not - in the argument of representation. But what black man could play him that’s already in the industry?

That perception of “it’s okay because she made it” - is dangerous. Like how black people are represented over all in film. “Bright” with Will Smith, the only black woman with a role that was out there was a stripper. 🤦🏾‍♂️

[xenolithia]

THIS THIS THIS

[naturalafricangoddess]

Viola Davis 😍😍

[damnamazondahm]

A Better Me

Im at perfect time in my life for a major change. I am claiming a change in my mental, emotional, and physical state of being. 

I am claiming this time, my time. I am claiming these next few months to be completely dedicated to myself and making sure that the changes I want to make are life-long changes.

I don’t just want to be skinnier, i dont JUST want to lose weight. I want to get to a head space where I am peaceful and content with myself and my life. I want a healthier me. I want to be physically healthy and mentally healthy. 

This year I am reclaiming my time. My time back from me. I am claiming an enhanced version of me.

[bitchynextdoor]

[finding-avalon]

Some people quit due to slow progress. What they don't understand is that slow progress... is still progress!

[wordsarevibrations]

✨ This sounds like wishful thinking, but it’s true. When it comes to how I experience life (my happiness and general mood) the state of my mind is more influential than the state of my circumstances. The world holds no inherent meaning beyond my perception of it. Nobody’s perception of reality is objectively true; everyone’s point-of-view is merely an interpretation. If 100 people sat where I am sitting now, each 100 people would have a different interpretation of their surroundings based on their points-of-view and past experiences. The world is a blank canvas. My perception creates the picture.

When I perceive imperfection in another person or see a flaw in my life, do these flaws actually reside in the person and my circumstances, or does the flaw reside in my perception? My thoughts are so fundamental to my interpretation of life that I rarely notice how every day I am painting the canvas of my experience through the lens of my perception. Every thought is another brush stroke. Each subconscious judgement is another color. Soon I am looking at a painting (my experience of life) and have forgotten that I created it.

The kindest thing I can do for myself is remembering to slow down and observe my thinking mind – each inhale and exhale of thought – instead of giving it free reign to shape my experience of life without supervision. This is the point of meditation. My mind has the power to perceive both heaven and hell in each passing moment. Heaven is the state of unbiased and non-attached awareness. Hell is the hurricane of mental chaos. Regardless of what is happening in my life, I have the power to choose my point-of-view. My thoughts may seem insignificant compared to the big bad world, but the state of the world – with all its monsters, demons, angels, and lovers – does not impact my emotions as much as the state of my mind.

Logic does not help here. Only awareness. Because the world is an unfair place, seeing life from a happy perspective is not always rational. There are a million good reasons to be unhappy and blame others. But when I shift my focus from my circumstances to my awareness, I remember that peace-of-mind is always a choice.

Follow me on IG @ shityouregosays

[finding-avalon]

Struggling is a GREAT thing! It means that you are TRYING and not quitting!

[shes-brown-sugar]

My name is Tionnie, some call me T. I’m a beautiful, young, black intellectual and artist from Atlanta. This blackout, let’s give a shout out to all the young black folks chasing their dreams and making shit happen. The grind don’t stop. We see you.

Happy Black Out y’all 

[blackkandgayy]

Instagram: @theepoetictruth and @coconutsandhoney

[feministism]

[chantellecharity]

Women’s March was epic to say the least!