(you didn't but I have to blame someone)
Episodes 1-275 of nightvale summarized in my own special way:
Episode 1: nightvale is weird and gay radio host is gay. Dog Park no one gets to look at.
Episode 2: glow cloud dropping animal corpses and haircut rant.
Episode 3: Cecil's contract gets renewed.
Episode 4: PTA meeting accidentally opens a rift in time and a bunch of dinosaurs are chilling for a bit.
Episode 5: there's a protest about the removal of the shape in the local park.
Episode 6: delays to the drawbridge that's under construction.
Episode 7: history of nightvale ig.
Episode 8: weird sounds and lights coming from radon canyon.
Episode 9: a pyramid appears in town as a sponsorship from a brand.
Episode 10: feral dogs are being an issue or sm idk.
Episode 11: the wheat and wheat by-products episode lol.
Episode 12: something something fugitive.
Episode 13: Matt's favorite or maybe the only one they remember.
Episode 14: Castiel's in nightvale ig.
Episode 16: a cryptic phone call.
Episode 17: I'm so curious about the lore of Valentine's Day in nightvale.
Episode 19A/B: one of Vee's favorite episodes bc I just love how it's done.
Episode 20: poetry week, goodbye for this year Dana.
Episode 21: Cecil backstory stuff fuck ye.
Episode 22: please don't go into the forest, even if the trees say your pants are cool.
Episode 23: two boy scouts are promoted to eternal scouts and Earl says questionable stuff to Cecil implying they dated.
Episode 24: the mayor goes missing.
Episode 25: one year anniversary:)
Episode 26: facelyess old woman let's gooooo.
Episode 27: CARLOS AND CECIL HAVE A DATE AAAAAA-
Episode 28: bunch of middle schoolers disappear into the library for the summer reading program.
Episode 29: subway system in nightvale now ig, might be related to Cas or sm idk.
Episode 30: Dana finds her way out of the dog park and into the desert other world.
Episode 31: a mirage of a lighthouse on top of a mountain and a group of warriors has everyone worried until Carlos explained it and it's fine.
Episode 32: strex corp arc starts oh no. Yellow helicopters are flying over the town.
Episode 33: Cecil finds old cassette tapes of him when he was 15.
Episode 34: Megan gets a computer to help her communicate but shit gets fucked fast.
Episode 36: Tamika, teen militia leader, is missing and strex corp wants to find her.
Episode 37: haha Cecil is for sale.
Episode 38: oranges or whatever.
Episode 40: there's a submarine or sm in the wastes.
Episode 41: walk signs are malfunction.
Episode 42: the ai of Chanel wzzz is gaining sentience and it's very sad.
Episode 44: Cecil being best uncle.
Episode 45: a continuation of Matt's favorite episode.
Episode 46: Carlos starts exploring the house that doesn't exist.
Episode 47: revelation or sm, strex corp and Kevin can sux my dick.
Episode 49: more doors and Carlos is trapped.
Episode 50: campaign for a science center or sm.
Episode 51: Carlos is still trapped and there's a weird rumble in the desert other world.
Episode 52: the mayor retires.
Episode 53: the September monologues {happy birthday 🎂}
Episode 54: a carnival comes to town or sm.
Episode 55: the first appearance of the university of what it is calling about a very missing Carlos.
Episode 56: homecoming game gets cancelled bc one of the players doesn't exist.
Episode 57: did you memorize the list???
Episode 58: a monolith appears in front of city hall.
Episode 59: antiques escape from the mall and Carlos learns astral projecting and is freaky ig.
Episode 60: Cecil almost dies bc the water company leaks carbon monoxide into the station.
Episode 61: Cecil says the activation code for a bunch of secret agents and more awkward ex stuff with Earl.
Episode 62: murder and attempted murder is illegal.
Episode 63: what a troll episode
Episode 64: Cecil makes a watercolor painting of Carlos that sadly gets destroyed.
Episode 65: voicemails for Cecil!
Episode 66: worms are destroying the town or sm.
Episode 67: how old is Cecil again??
Episode 68: faceless old woman isn't happy and Cecil is having doubts about staying in nightvale.
Episode 69: *fashion animation meme.*
Episode 70 A/B: fuckin Kevin.
Episode 71: family heist.
Episode 72: forgettable...
Episode 73: something is wrong with the broadcast signal oh noooo my ears.
Episode 74: updated dog park rules
Episode 75: nightvale marathon:)
Episode 77: a stranger in the radio station.
Episode 78: Thanksgiving cooking special!
Episode 79: time to remember those who will be lost in the future blood space war.
Episode 80: a new sheriff, it's not Jim hopper tho:(
Episode 81: museum of forbidden technology stuff or whatever.
Episode 82: skating rink so Cecil and Carlos can do Yuri on ice.
Episode 83: regular desert bluffs is gone.
Episode 84: little league baseball something something.
Episode 85: the April monologues.
Episode 89: dog demon thing and lesbians
Episode 91: alternate history week :3
Episode 94: everything is fine.
Episode 95: a zookeeper brings some animals to the station.
Episode 96: negotiations with dragons
Episode 97: Josie is getting sick..
Episode 98: execution day.
Episode 99: intern Kareem writes home, something isn't right..
Episode 100: Vee's favorite episode.
Episode 101: spring cleaning guidelines.
Episode 102: the city council and station management start kissin.
Episode 103: ash beach, sounds horrible.
Episode 104: Angels aren't real.
Episode 105: what happened at the smithwick house.
Episode 106: the Angels do exist.
Episode 107: there's a weird popping noise below the ground.
Episode 108: Another really good episode that totally fucks with everything we know about nightvale.
Episode 109: a story about huntokar.
Episode 110: Steve episode!
Episode 111: everything is the same and different.
Episode 112: random citizen spotlight.
Episode 113: does Cecil have another sister??? How many siblings does he have???
Episode 114-116: Tamika becomes a counselor
Episode 117-119: stuff about a thing
Episode 120: FUCKIN KEVIN
Episode 121-123: a couple in nightvale ig.
Episode 127-129: I wasn't paying attention..
Episode 130: an episode about us.
Episode 131: Kelloggs or sm
Episode 132: bedtime stories:3
Episode 133: are you really sure?
Episode 134: upcoming homecoming game!
Episode 135-137: fuckin Kevin got his own boyfriend.
Episode 138: harvest season!
Episode 139: happy birthday Lee
Episode 141: support small business!
Episode 142: UFO's in nightvale
Episode 143: no electricity for you:3
Episode 144: blood space war stuff.
Episode 145: some veterans return home from the blood space war.
Episode 146: happy birthday Lee!
Episode 147: a protester of the blood space war.
Episode 148: there's peace.
Episode 149:the general returns home from the blood space war.
Episode 150: happy birthday Lee!
Episode 151: little gay shape shifter boy.
Episode 152: the golden hand.
Episode 153-155: Carlos is framed for a heist at the last bank of nightvale!
Episode 156: time has started to work..
Episode 157: there's some dude offering to store everyone's brains after they die to put them in cryo.
Episode 158: oops, the robots in the future containing those brains come back to destroy nightvale.
Episode 160: and now, the weather.
Episode 161: space race lore
Episode 164: live faceless old woman wooo
Episode 168:the sheriff secret police make their blotter public.
Episode 169: also a really good episode.
Episode 170: rip intern Victor
Episode 171: uh oh, Cecil doesn't do good with mirror's guys.
Episode 172: obelisk answers one question.
Episode 173: the hundred year play is nearing its end, once again asking, how old is Cecil???
Episode 174: Jupiter my beloved!!!!
Episode 175: the October monologues
Episode 176: the autumn specter seems to be haunting nightvale this Halloween.
Episode 177: Cecil has a crime podcast, Carlos brings him pasta salad for lunch :3.
Episode 178: cemetery full
Episode 179: first ever snow in nightvale {it's not snow}
Episode 180: the mahalla family wants their VHS back.
Episode 181: the talk of clouds is uncensored.
Episode 182: more Cecil lore about the woods.
Episode 183: yay the nephilim a approach.
Episode 185: librarians escape during the first annual book fair.
Episode 187: citizen spotlight 2, electric boogaloo
Episode 188: nightvale is real??
Episode 189: Megan is missing.
Episode 190: they know, they all know.
Episode 191: more frank Chen.
Episode 192: sometimes your favorite old movie doesn't hold up.
Episode 193: you're doing fun wrong.
Episode 194: even more frank Chen.
Episode 198: there's a secret art show.
Episode 199: guidelines for retrieval.
Episode 200: Susan comes clean.
Episode 201: Cecil gets an odd delivery, more lore?
Episode 202: still curious about Valentine's Day lore.
Episode 203: nightvale is real???? Part 2???
Episode 204: Cecil auditioning and stuff.
Episode 205: where tf did you guys put the moon??
Episode 206:a librarian got loose.
Episode 207: nooo missing kitten
Episode 208: Cecil visits the big city!
Episode 209: the black coat.
Episode 210: Carlos my beloved!!!!
Episode 211: he's got that dog in him.
Episode 212: oh no, they've set up a campus.
Episode 213: murals get painted around the city that the council disapproves of.
Episode 214: John peters, you know the farmer, keeps calling Cecil {he calls him bubba!}
Episode 216: Steve's very own episode!
Episode 217: weird salmon burger that might be a spider?
Episode 218: Cecil brings his baby to work!
Episode 219: tarot, ain't that a bitch?
Episode 220: Jupiter holiday edition!
Episode 221: rip glow cloud.
Episode 222: Cecil punches a guy for insulting his husband.
Episode 223: fnaf episode.
Episode 224: backrooms episode.
Episode 225: contract negotiations don't go according to plan..I guess Cecil is management now?
Episode 226: payments are overdue at the station with Cecil being thrown headfirst into the management role.
Episode 227: Dr. Jones lies to Cecil.
Episode 228: councilor Tamika tries a different approach, making science illegal.
Episode 229: Carlos is being mistreated by the town now that science is illegal.
Episode 230: CARLOS AAAA-
Episode 231: new terminal at the night vale airport.
Episode 232: car crash, Eldritch body horror.
Episode 233: citizen spotlight, vampire edition.
Episode 235: Tamika and Cecil start a book club.
Episode 236: truck touching contest.
Episode 237: eugh, Kevin.
Episode 239:ooooo sister city
Episode 240: who gave him a knife?
Episode 241: someone take away the knife please, also Carlos is shit at gift giving.
Episode 242: new branch of the nightvale Library.
Episode 243: lost and found things.
Episode 245: I love their son sm.
Episode 246: a story about him.
Episode 247:more Cecil lore.
Episode 253: advanced yoga.
Episode 255: very good John peters, you know the farmer, episode.
Episode 256: book of lost things.
Episode 257: traffic is a bitch
Episode 258: swap meet :3
Episode 259: a weird Chrysalis is opening and also Steve got a new job offer! 😀
Episode 260: uhhhh idk, monologues or sm ig
Episode 261: all of flakey O's are a bunch of frat kids now ig? Also pink pony club mentioned.
Episode 262: Steve has a new job wooo
Episode 263: cool theme park episode
Episode 264: Cecil's old mentor isn't dead???
Episode 265: Cecil in the backrooms ig
Episode 266: Jesus it's been 11 years since the last one
Episode 267: I'd let Cecil be my wing man
Episode 268:uhhhhh Steve things
269: holy shit Steve uhhhh story about you but from Steve's pov
270: so uh there was a mass shortage of everything bc it was realized no one could get in or out of nightvale but Steve started a trucker company and they're good
271: there's a weird festival going on then people get eaten
272: horoscopes + the cecilso child is a witch now ig much to Carlo's dismay
273: Cecil watches horror movies naked ig
274: an HOA ruins the neighborhood immediately
275: date night with Cecil and Carlos! :3
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