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@dan-hvmphrey
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So many people in Times Square
“Oh God, Humphrey, I didn’t even have to try to guess who it was behind the mask - I could hear your whining voice from across the room." She shook her head. "Go get drunk, and stop pouting, you big baby.”
Truth be told...I don't even know how I got in. This mask isn't even mine, frankly.
Oh, is that how you solve all your problems?
So many people in Times Square
And the ball hasn't even gone up yet?
Seriously, what are you people doing?! I might just kill all of them
Loaded doesn’t always mean snobby.
Aspiring writer, huh? So what type of writing do you do?
You caught me. Snobby against snobby people who are snobs to me. Try saying that without coffee. Ha.
Well, just silly overly unimportant thoughts of a teenage boy. And of course...every writer needs their muse - what's a better muse than the city?
“Chuck’s as relevant as a pimp when he comes accompanied to this kind of old news," Char shook her head. "Well, as pleasant as you think this meeting is, I have some other things to do subsequent my arrival." She concluded. "Goodbye, Humphrey." And then Charlotte turned around, leaving.
Harsh words Charlotte...brilliant, but harsh words.
Hey hey, what's so unpleasant about speaking with the lower class. Except not really...you get the point. Where do you have to be anyway?
I love starving artists.
Models or actual people with command over a canvas?
I swear if one more client asks for 'blood orange' dresses I'm gonna flip.
It’s fricking red.
Hey you! Want to by a girl a cup of coffee and brighten up her whole gosh darn day or what?
Uh...yeah, sure. Um. Wait, what do you want?
I don’t mind Brooklyn. I’m not some snob.
Hmm interesting thought. I personally like a little flavor in my coffee.
Now that is a wonderfully refreshing statement. Very loaded though.
Aspiring writer here, a little darkness and bitterness would do me good. Just not Plath's levels of darkness - achingly beautiful, but too dark for me.
I’ll have to go there and try some of those then.
Good to know. You don’t like syrup I take it? Haha.
Oh venturing into Brooklyn. I'm surprised you didn't turn away in disgust.
Coffee needs character...syrup just detracts from that, you know?
Yes it’s true that I believe I’m weaker than I used to be I wear my heart out on my sleeve And I forget the rest of me Yes there’s times I’ve been afraid And there’s no harm in that I pray Cuz I’m more frightened everyday Someone will take the hope I have away
[ Laughs ] Alright, I’ll give you that much. I’ve heard this place called ‘Press Coffee’ is supposed to be pretty good. I might try that.
Don't know about that one, but I do know there are plenty in Williamsburg...little independent coffee shops.
Tip: you can tell how good a shop is from their black coffee...none of that syrup crap.
“And, ladies and gentlemen, I present you The Humphrey Amusement World. Which has nothing really amusing." She gestured to Dan, generalizing his father and himself, as if the Humphrey were all the same - in her head, actually, they were, saving the gender and age differences. "No, Humphrey! You’re there because… I can’t really find a reasonable explanation other than Gossip Girl hit her head and mistook your identity for someone else’s." The woman shrugged. "Yes, I didn’t. Why would I? I had things more interesting than reading about all of you. Now I’m bored, that’s it.”
And, ladies and gentlemen, she thinks I'm kidding. If you find me rivetingly boring, you'd probably maim yourself with my dad. Is this the bit where I let my anonymity shield me or confirm that it was me with Serena? I did see one about Chuck hoarding the ladies but I assume that's regular behaviour.
Yes because that is so specific.
More specific than Starbucks, I mean, I just ruled out half the city's coffee supply.
“If he does, he just got himself a fan. Not your news, Humphrey!" She lifted her hand to her forehead, running her fingers through her perfectly curled hair. "If I wanted an update on Humphrey land, I’d have visited your father’s gallery. At least he’s got something interesting there." Charlotte inhaled deeply, then gave it another try. "I meant the overall new. And honestly, I doubt it," she referred about his remark on how Brooklyn could refresh minds. "Ok, I give up, I’ll read it on Gossip Girl or something.”
Hey watch it, we're meant to hate everyone together. Where's your team spirit? And please don't, my dad will just make you waffles. Or talk 90s music with you.
Oh but that's the thing Charlotte...I am on Gossip Girl. Does that qualify me as news? And hold up, you're saying you didn't check that thing while you were gone. That's...did you go somewhere without broadband?
“Why would you walk around with a pie?" Charlotte frowned, not understanding it, when any other mortal would have a pie delivered at home, instead of picking it up. "Oh yeah, I forgot - you like to pretend you have your hands full, so you won’t have to face how empty your life really is. Brooklynites… I’m so glad to be home…" She muttered in a sarcastic tone, speaking slowly to herself. Her expression was of pure disappointment.
“So, Humphrey. Update me on the news.”
I like to extend the Christmas spirit with more minced pie. And now it's road kill. Every year this happens. Do you think God has a preference for people depending on their postcode?
Me? Well, uh..um, well, I realized that sometimes Brooklyn can help refresh minds, even those from the Upper East Side.
“Well, clearly all my friends are knuckleheads who forgot I’d be returning today. Luckily, I’m always one step ahead and dad is wealthy enough to provide me my own driver." Charlotte spoke to herself as her high heels clicked against the cold floor, leading her way into the room.
“Tell me, New York, did you miss me? No, not New York, I’m selective - Upper East Side. I kind of missed you, I admit.”
Let me be the first of the other lesser boroughs to welcome you home.
Your car cost me my pie.