"See you in hell, Cupcake." @dangercupcakewithmurdericing - Tumblr Blog

tanou123

New Orleans ❤

doctorslippery

Thunderstorm jazz is freaking awesome. I need an album of that. I’d sleep like a baby.

alltangledupinblue

“oh I’ll bet that’s Dorren... yup, that’s Doreen.” https://www.doreensjazz.com

petermorwood

Reblogging not for the first nor the last time. There’s just something right about this conjunction of laid-back music and lively weather...

allura-raine

disdaidal

Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia THE WITCHER 3.08 The Cost of Chaos

witchersjaskier

a witch curses jaskier and geralt to be tied together so that they can’t be further away from each other than 20 feat but jokes on her they already spend 99% of their time together and it’s been like a year and a half since they’ve been more than 10 feet away from each other. they stopped spending winters apart 4 years ago.

they’re still only friends

ladyahiru

So what you are saying is they dont even notice that they are cursed for like a year?^^

witchersjaskier

you know what? yes, this is EXACTLY what i’m saying

they’re more than dumb enough to pull this off

into-the-oblivion21

Geralt is on a monster hunt and gets to the 20 foot edge, Jaskier gets pulled out of the tree he’s been hiding it to watch and just assumes he lost his hold and footing. He ends up with more injuries from falling than Geralt does from fighting the monster, causing Geralt to fret over him faor the days it takes the bruises and scraps to heal.

Lambert and Eskel try to prank Jaskier by trying to move him outside in his sleep, in the middle of the night. As soon as he’s 20 feet from Geralt, Geralt wakes up ready to fight whoever is messing with Jaskier. Lambert and Eskel don’t try that prank again.

Bandits try to capture Jaskier and hold him for blackmail against Geralt, but they can’t separate the two and they know Geralt would kill them if they tried to go after Jaskier with Geralt right there.

Jaskier stops sleeping with random maidens, he doesn’t know why, but he just doesn’t feel like it anymore because it means he isn’t spending time with Geralt.

Geralt stops sitting in the dark corners of taverns, he doesn’t have to anymore due to Jaskier improving his image. Jaskier can still move around most of the tavern to play.

Honestly they might never notice they’re cursed, or when they do, they just don’t care that much

witchersjaskier

this is perfect

also, big dumbass energy, there’s an invisible force pulling you together but you’re bi and Yearning™ so you don’t notice it’s not natural

permanently-exhausted-bitch

And when they run into Yennefer again she’s like “you want me to undo that curse?”

And they’re like “what curse?”

And yen is like “you dumb bitches are cursed so you can’t stay more that 20 feet from eachother and you didn’t notice?”

And Geralt and Jaskier are like “is that why we always feel the other leave our presence? Eh. No big deal.

witchersjaskier

paradoxically, it doesn’t get them together at all. they spend like 4 years like that and they still are too afraid of saying the truth, so the witch finds another way

she curses them the other way around - they can’t get close to each other. maybe not 20 but 10, so no more sleeping and bathing together, so more jaskier patching geralt up, no more touches. it’s only then that they realize just how often they touch.

they both grow irritable and annoyed, easily snapping at each other, until finally they get into a fight and jaskier can’t take it anymore screaming “why do you hate me so much suddenly?!” and geralt in his himbo glory roars back “i actually love you and that’s the problem!?”

and that’s how the curse breaks

permanently-exhausted-bitch

And they kiss and are happy to touch eachother again and unfortunately Geralt is stuck the rest of the week with Jaskier litterally hanging off him 24/7 like literally plastered to his back or front and forces Geralt to carry him. And Geralt pretends to be annoyed but secretly loves it.

witchersjaskier

“unfortunately”

geralt would never admit it but he loves it, especially after spending weeks not touching jaskier. they’re BOTH the clingy boyfriend but jaskier accepts it and geralt still tries to hide it.

somehow, they’re even worse now than before the curse

permanently-exhausted-bitch

And when they see Yen next, she’s hanging with Triss and they don’t bother hiding how affectionately and in love they are and yen is just like “finally!!!” And holds out her hand to Triss who just groans and slaps a few coins in Yen’s waiting palm.

witchersjaskier

what if everyone is already so done with those two idiots that when they finally get together, people don’t realize. they think jaskier and geralt are back on their bullshit.

they don’t kiss with people around because geralt is shy (“not shy jaskier, just cautious not that you know that word”) and so everyone’s just like “those dumb bitches” and they think nothing changed

jaskier and geralt are so stupid and hopeless that people think they’re pining even after they get together

permanently-exhausted-bitch

Or even better that they know that everyone thinks they’re still pinning and them, being the little shits they are, don’t correct anyone but they put extra emphasis on their affections and they both keep a running bet on how long until people start noticing.

And they actively deny not knowing what the others are talking about when their friends try and hint at things

witchersjaskier

they underestimate how stupid their friends think they are and it’s been like 15 years and it’s getting awkward but quitting now would feel like defeat and also VERY awkward, telling everyone so those two morons just keep going because they’re in too deep

permanently-exhausted-bitch

That is until like 30 years later, Eskel figures it out and Geralt just about starts crying in relief and Jaskier is like

“Thank you for FINALLY noticing! We made it official 30 years ago, we got married 25 years ago, we adopted a little boy, together I might add, 10 years ago, we own a vineyard together… WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST FUCKING CLUE!!!!???”

witchersjaskier

it was absolutely none of that. eskel just happened to be looking when geralt squeezed jaskier’s shoulder with a soft look on his face and cocker his head to the side and well, he knows his brother and he knows that wasn’t just friendly

or like saw geralt lean into the kiss on the cheek from jaskier, maybe heard him call the bard “sweet wildcat”

just a random lil thing that has nothing to do with their 25 years or marriage

permanently-exhausted-bitch

And then Eskel is like “Wait a minute!!! You got married without us!!!! Betrayal!!!! And why haven’t I met my nephew! AND YOU HAVE A VINEYARD AND YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE US DRINK LAMBERT CRAP VODKA!!!!!????”

innocentbi-stander

Vesemir has actually been ‘in the know’ the entire time, but he’s got to get his entertainment from somewhere nowadays

awitchersbard

More has been added, I love you all thank you for this

dalgonamilk

kxoktty on ig

anxietyproblem

love

rt0no

fuckyeahfastfoodfeline

When I worked in fast food I would constantly have dreams about it, filling orders, prepping food, counting sauce packets, always running out of time and managers yelling at me. I would hear the beeping and dinging when I was at home, actually legit hear it. Whenever anything else would beep I would immediately put my hand to my ear as if to turn my headset on. I would go to other fast food places and have to resist the urge to clean and welcome people. That shit stays with you.

It really does