Daniel James Molloy

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Connection so strong that just being together is a turn on.

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notfavghost

You’re the only thing that ever made me want to stay soft in a world that kept handing me reasons to harden.

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#|| words to live immortally by ||

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#|| take a trip into my garden; i bloom just for you ||#|| jory ||#|| more than eternity can measure ||

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letsbelonelytogetherr

“You touch me like I am everything you asked god for. Underneath your hands I become poetry. This is the alchemy that you do.”

— T. James (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

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Jory's brow arched at Daniel's guinea pig comment, a wry smile curving his lips as he squeezed Daniel's hand. He leaned in, eyes glinting with playful mischief.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" he teased, letting the question hang before turning to Rose.

"I have to say," he continued, his voice warming with sincerity, "it's refreshing being here with you both. I haven't spent time with an immortal woman before, Rose. Your energy is... different. In the best way." He paused, a flicker of self-awareness crossing his features. "I hope that doesn't sound too forward, it's just my nature, I suppose."

There was an easy confidence in his manner, a warmth that drew people in without effort.

He grew thoughtful. "Funny thing, Everard and I actually crossed paths first in New York, at a fashion show I worked when I was still mortal. Brief, but it stuck with me. Years later, as I am now, an immortal, I was wandering the bayou outside New Orleans, hungry, isolated, honestly at a low point. Everard found me again. He remembered me. Helped me find my footing." His voice softened. "I trust him for that."

He glanced at Daniel, biting his lip in quiet reflection. "Those early years weren't easy. I didn't reach out much. Just tried to survive."

Turning back to Rose, he opened up further. "As for gifts, I have telepathy, the fire gift, and the cloud gift. Control is still a work in progress, especially with fire. My old home didn't survive. A rueful smile. "The cloud gift I've barely used. Maybe I'm still holding onto pieces of my mortality. Your offer to teach me means a lot."

Curiosity sparked in his expression. "You mentioned lessons from the court. What's the most important thing you teach the newly turned? I'm always interested in learning, especially from someone with your perspective."

He squeezed Daniel's hand again, feeling a gentle warmth and a rare sense of belonging. For the first time in a long while, he felt truly at ease, content in their company.

Daniel summoned a smile back at Jory, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. There was, in fact, something he'd never mentioned. Something he should have mentioned before he'd turned Jory, but had gotten lost in the midst of everything else that had happened back then.

"Fareed took enough blood samples from me I half expected somebody to pull out a straw and stick it in me like a Capri Sun," he said, shrugging, doing his best to pass off the tension he felt stirring inside with humor. Now didn't seem like the best time or place to talk about the something he'd failed to disclose in depth; and he didn't want the information getting back to the court or to the research vampires and he wouldn't put that kind of pressure on Rose to keep a secret.

He'd had enough poking and prodding, and he didn't trust that if Fareed found out that he wouldn't be summoned back.

Or worse, made to go back one way or another.

Daniel fell quiet again as he listened to Jory and Rose continue talking, felt a different kind of tightness inside as his fledgling talked about his time alone, and as he spoke about his gifts in the blood, none of which he possessed himself and wouldn't have been able to provide any insight or help with, but still, he knew; he should have been there all the same.

When the topic returned to Rose's work at court, he finally spoke again, finally voicing the quiet but hopeful question.

"Rose, has there been any way the court or anyone else has come up with to help the new, weaker immortals? Or the ones that aren't adjusting as well, or that are... or aren't quite well in the mind?"

nodominion

"Women are different to men? What a revelation." It feels easy to tease Jory as he makes it easy for the banter to flow freely. Rose wonders as to his past, his human life, but doesn't pry. Tonight is for joyful reunions and fresh faces.

When Jory and Daniel exchange information about Fareed's facility she hopes she hasn't overstepped. Said something more than she should. But it seemed easily smoothed over, her attention mostly focused on Jory as he speaks of his time without Daniel. Even though Jory has survived without any obvious scars, it does sound lonely, especially for someone like Rose who always needs others around.

At the description of his gifts both of her eyebrows raise. It was an impressive array for someone younger than her, and made with blood not as aged. Rose files the information away for another night, smiling easily, "Patience. It sounds silly, after all we're meant to be immortal. We have infinite time to do everything. And yet, those freshly turned are always in a rush. Eager with new powers and abilities and a freedom that humanity can never offer. So, sometimes, it is better to wait. You'll gain control with time. And that is the one thing we have."

There's a sharp inhale at Daniel's question. As her mind flitted between the facts she knew and the ones she was meant to present Rose's mind locks fully. Nothing in or out. While she could not lie to Daniel, she could be tactful, "Marius is Prime Minister. Did he ever have any solutions other than the old adages? Let the madness pass with time. No one knows anything else. For newly turned who can't adjust... that decision isn't up to me. It's above me. Let's just say I've never seen them again. Whether that means they're locked away or... I couldn't say."

Thinking about this aspect of court has wiped any joy from her, standing and placing several hundred dollar bills under her drink. "I should be going. I've had a long flight and I need to hunt. It's been great to meet you Jory. Keep in touch, Old Man." Rose moves to kiss each of them on the cheek before she's gone from the hotel bar, from the city, in the sky and far away. Before she revealed too much, before her heart grew too heavy with her dark thoughts.

The less than stellar information and Rose's abrupt departure drew a small sigh from Daniel after she'd exited the bar. He wasn't even entirely surprised by what she had, and also what she hadn't said outright.

He withdrew his own wallet, tossed down a few bills as well without counting them, then looked at Jory, smiling a little sadly.

"Well. That was that I suppose."

He paused and took a moment to just... look at Jory, took time and held a space for the silent gratitude that rolled slowly through him at his fledgling's presence and existence in his life again, then reached over and rested a hand on Jory's arm, a look of sudden genuine curiosity coming over him.

"You said you got flowers for you mother." A beat. "How is she?"

He held Jory's gaze as he let the small whisper of memory the initial mention of her had caught and snagged up from some place he'd lost it rise again. Remembered that this was something they'd disagreed about.

There was no anger, no fear when Daniel spoke again, only interest in the inquiry softly intoned so only Jory could hear him. ".... Did you end up telling her?"

Jory watched Rose disappear through the bar's entrance, her silhouette swallowed by the night before he could even process what had happened. The kiss on her cheek still felt warm, a ghost of contact that somehow made her absence more pronounced.

Two for zero.

The words tasted bitter even as he thought them. First that disaster with Armand, now this. He'd actually thought it was going well with Rose. The conversation had flowed, easy and natural in a way that never happened with other immortals, other than his Blood spouse.

And then she was just... gone.

The ambient noise of the bar pressed in, glasses clinking, low laughter from a couple in the corner booth, some jazz standard bleeding from hidden speakers. All of it suddenly felt too loud, too human, too much like a life he could observe but never quite touch anymore.

Daniel's sigh pulled him back. Jory turned to look at him, catching that sad little smile, and felt something in his chest constrict. Then Daniel's hand was on his arm, warm and grounding, and his expression shifted to something Jory couldn't quite read. Curiosity? Concern?

You said you got flowers for your mother. How is she? Daniel had asked.

He looked down at the bills scattered on the table. Rose's hundreds, Daniel's twenties, all that mortal currency that meant nothing and everything. His throat felt tight. The receipt from the flower shop was still in his jacket pocket.

"She's... fine. Good. She's good." The words came out flat, unconvincing even to his own ears. "Still beautiful,she's still so beautiful. The flowers will arrive tomorrow morning. Cymbidium Orchids, Calla Lilies, and Proteas. Blooms that match her elegance, that don't wilt too quickly. She deserves flowers as graceful as she is."

"Did you end up telling her?" Daniel's next question.

"No." The word came out sharper than he intended. He softened his voice, tried again. "No, Baby, I didn't tell her."

Tomorrow evening, when he woke, he'd call her. Maybe video chat if the lighting was right, if he could angle the camera just so. She'd thank him for the flowers, ask him about work, about his life. He'd lie with a smile on his face because the truth would destroy her.

"I'll call her tomorrow night when I wake up," Jory said, his voice dropping lower. "We'll probably video chat. She'll show me the flowers, tell me about her week. I'll pretend I'm calling from some hotel room in another city, another time zone. Pretend I'm living some normal life she can understand."

The jazz piano tinkled on, oblivious. Somewhere behind the bar, ice cracked in a shaker.

"What was I supposed to do?" Jory met Daniel's eyes. "Show up at her door and explain why I haven't aged? Why I can only visit after dark? Why I can't sit across from her at the kitchen table and have coffee anymore?"

"She thinks I'm out there living my life. Successful. Happy." Jory's voice cracked slightly on the last word. "Why would I take that away from her? Why would I make her spend whatever time she has left grieving for a son who's still walking around?"

The bar felt too small suddenly, the walls pressing in. Rose's empty glass sat on the table between them, lipstick stain on the rim. Evidence of someone who could just leave, who didn't have to carry the weight of a mortal family slowly dying while you stayed the same.

"I see her when I can," Jory said finally, quieter now. "But not like I want to. Never like I want to."

Daniel was silent as Jory spoke, and his heart ached as he listened and observed the way this particular challenge of immortality had affected his fledgling, hearing it not only in his words but seeing it in the subtle ways it betrayed itself; in the hesitations, the tension that crept into his body almost imperceptivity.

He flinched at that brisk 'no' instinctively, his hand jerking back a fraction from Jory's arm before he deliberately and gently rested it back there, quiet a long moment more before he finally spoke.

"... I'm sorry, that this was another way I didn't know how to guide you. Becoming what we are and... having family. People that you care about and that care about you that are still living."

Daniel paused, thought briefly on how his own turning had impacted not a single living soul. His own family had never reached out or contacted him when he'd still had a mortal pulse after he's left Iowa, and he'd called back only for his grandmother, and never again after she'd died, so shortly after he'd fled his hometown and state.

He glanced about the bar, at the very living patrons scattered at other tables, felt the press of the living world around and against them. Also felt the distance immortality created, of being a timeless being that could only observe and never partake in the same way with the mortal world.

Daniel pressed down the quiet ache that rose to match it; that sense that somehow the same distant observer status applied to interacting with the preternatural world just as much for him.

" - And I'm sorry I didn't give you more support about it before either," Daniel continued quietly, looking back up at Jory again. That ache blossomed as he did, as he made himself sit with the weight and responsibility of bringing Jory over into that same lonely existence - and leaving him unguided and alone to face it.

"I should have thought of these kinds of things, and I didn't... and at the very least I should have been patient. Listened to you and what you worried about before turning you." He shook his head. "I didn't know how to have that kind of conversation with you because it was something I never dealt with myself, but I should have tried."

"I know you couldn't have prepared me for this," he said finally, his voice soft but steady. "You never had to face it yourself, so how could you?" There was no accusation in his tone, just the simple weight of understanding. "Your family let you go before you ever became this. Mine didn't. Mine still calls on Sundays. Mine still expects me to come home for the holidays."

He paused, and the jazz piano continued its meandering melody, filling the space between his words.

"What's hard isn't the immortality, it's the specific losses that come with it. My Mother and my Father." His voice softened there, became more vulnerable. "That's not about wishing I was mortal again. It's about loving someone who's still mortal and knowing I can't bridge that gap without destroying them. It's about having to choose between presence and honesty, and neither choice is good."

"And tonight, with Rose, that wasn't about immortality either. That was just... rejection. Connection that didn't land. It happens." He gave a slight, rueful smile. "Apparently it happens to immortals just as much as it does to humans. Maybe more, because we're all carrying so much weight we can't explain to each other."

The couple in the corner booth laughed at something, the sound bright and uncomplicated. Jory didn't flinch from it this time. Just observed it, the way you'd observe weather through a window, present, but separate.

"You're here," Jory said, and his voice carried genuine warmth. "You're sitting with me in this bar at two in the morning. You're not pretending you have all the answers. You're just... present."

The bar felt smaller now, but in a different way than before. Not claustrophobic, but intimate. Like the rest of the world had receded, leaving just this moment, this conversation, this connection between Maker and fledgling who were both still learning what that meant.

"So don't carry guilt about turning me," Jory said finally, his voice firm but kind. "I chose this, even if I didn't know everything it would cost. And I'm choosing it again, every night I wake up. What I need from you isn't an apology for making me immortal. It's just... this. Honesty. Presence. Someone who sees that I'm strong enough to handle this existence and still human enough to grieve what it costs."

Daniel let himself sit with Jory's words for a moment before he spoke, and not for the first time let the weight of what had been said and the moment settle into him.

"I know you're strong enough," he finally said, his gaze fixing steady and unwavering on his fledgling as he did, and his tone was low but firm. "Your strength is part of why I didn't question making you. I knew you could handle immortality. That wasn't something I ever questioned."

Daniel paused, remembering that exact moment; the one where he knew he'd turn Jory, knew he had to. There'd been no hesitation or doubt in that instant about Jory's ability to survive, not knowing what he'd endured already.

The memory of bones snapping and that malevolent laughter of the dark entity that had once threatened to torment and torture Jory and by extension Daniel simply because it could still sent a cold fury and fierce flare of protectiveness through him.

"And I don't feel guilty about making you," he added after another moment, his voice softening to something more tender, and his hand slipped down Jory's arm to interlace their fingers. "The only guilt I feel about it is that I wasn't stronger and that I left. That you were alone. But about turning you? Not that. Never that, Jory. And you have both, my honesty and my presence. I'm not going anywhere unless it's with you."

Jory's throat tightened at that. At the absolute certainty in Daniel's voice, the weight of the promise. He squeezed Daniel's fingers, grounding himself in the warmth of that touch, in the reality of him sitting across from him in this quiet bar at two in the morning.

"I needed to hear that," Jory said softly, his voice rough with emotion. "Not just the words, but... the way you mean them. That you don't regret me. That you're choosing to stay." He paused, swallowing hard. "I spent eight years wondering if I was a mistake you made in a moment of weakness. So yeah. I needed that."

He took a breath, letting the moment settle between them before his expression shifted and becoming more focused, more intent. The vulnerability remained, but now there was a hunger for understanding beneath it.

"But there's so much I don't know," Jory said, his thumb brushing across Daniel's knuckles. "Things you've been carrying alone. You mentioned Fareed and that he made you a guinea pig. What kind of experiments, Daniel? What did he do to you?"

The words rippled through Daniel and left a sharp and sudden ache that made his own chest tighten and also his hold on Jory's hand. His response was whispered but there was a fierceness behind them all the same, an intensity that also flashed in his eyes.

"You are not a mistake."

He paused, needed to take a moment to quell the telltale sensation of blood tears that had come with the rush of emotion, before adding, "Of all the moments of weakness in my life, you aren't one of them, Jory." He searched Jory's eyes, hoping his fledgling could see the truth of it reflected in his own. "I meant what I've said, more than once - making you was and is the most important thing I've ever done. You were, are too full of life and fire and drive to let die."

Daniel paused again, glanced around the bar at the other patrons, then at Jory again. There were many eyes and ears for what else he needed to say; even if the mortals were completely unmindful of their conversation, the topic itself cause him unease, and the words would flow easier between just him and Jory. "Let's go outside?"

Across the street was Pershing Square, and at that late hour it was almost vacant, the purple bell tower casting a long shadow across the park. Daniel led the way, still not relinquishing his hold on Jory's hand as they went and found a bench under the tall palms for them to sit.

He took a moment to ground himself; in the light rustle of the palms overhead in the evening breeze and in Jory's presence before he spoke. "Like I said before, about Fareed... I went because I was hoping maybe there'd be some way to.. fix whatever it is that's off about me, and Marius encouraged it."

He shook his head a little, a sad smile accompanying it. "That's when all the blood draws started, the testing. Fareed and his staff, they took... particular interest in it. My blood. That Marius could feed me from his own wrist when I'd been unable to hunt on my own or even safely with supervision.. and it didn't affect me like it does most other immortals. The gaining strength from ancient blood." He made a soft, wry sound. "It just... doesn't seem to work that way on me. But Fareed, he saw potential, research potential. So there were more blood draws... more tests."

Daniel paused again, took Jory's hand between both of his own before he went on. "... I know there are things I should have told you before that I didn't. Not because I was trying to keep things from you, I just... wasn't focused on any of it then. I was focused on keeping you alive." A beat. "... I don't know how much you've read of Lestat or the books David wrote for others, but - there are things we can't do as vampires. Like eat food, or go into the sun, those are basic knowledge. And... sex."

He swallowed hard. "But Fareed, he'd started making advances in that department. Lestat tried the first wave of that, it was how he ended up with his son, Viktor... then other medications, a sort of over the counter option, but why stop there? A longer term option would be better, you know? Like a long lasting injectable. But you'd need to... cultivate it. Fine tune it. Having an immortal petri dish to try it out in."

Jory was quiet for a long moment, the weight of what Daniel had just told him settling over him like a heavy blanket. And somewhere in the distance a siren wailed through the empty streets of downtown LA. But here, on this bench under the purple glow of the bell tower, there was only the two of them and the enormity of what Daniel had endured.

"A petri dish," Jory repeated softly, his voice tight with barely contained anger. "He used you as a petri dish. Without..." He stopped, swallowed hard, his free hand clenching into a fist against his thigh. "Did you even consent to half of that, Daniel? Or did Marius just... push you into it and Fareed saw an opportunity?"

He turned to face Daniel more fully, his eyes searching his maker's face in the dim light. There was fury there, yes and a protective rage on Daniel's behalf but underneath it was something deeper. Concern. Fear, even.

"The blood draws, the testing... how long did that go on?" Jory's grip on Daniel's hand tightened. "And is it still happening? Are you still in contact with Fareed, or? He paused, a terrible realization dawning. "Is that why you left? Did you run from him?"

He leaned closer, his voice dropping lower, more urgent. "I need to know if you're still in danger, Daniel. If Fareed is still looking for you, still wanting to use you for his experiments. Because if he is, we need to figure out what that means. We need to know what we're dealing with."

Jory's jaw clenched as he processed the image of Daniel being treated like some kind of lab rat, being exploited by someone he'd trusted enough to go to for help. "And the fertility work... the injections..." He trailed off, not quite sure how to ask, but needing to know. "Did he test that on you too?"

Daniel saw the emotions play out in Jory's reactions and heard it in his voice, and both gratitude and comfort flooded through him at that protective tone and look, even if he also felt a flash of guilt at worrying him.

"-- I wouldn't go so far as to call it 'fertility' work," Daniel murmured, shaking his head again. "As I understand it Viktor is a clone. He wasn't conceived in a normal way, even if Lestat did have sex with that woman, Flannery... given my issues, I wasn't and I'm still not an ideal immortal to replicate. So I don't think there's any little clone of me running around somewhere... especially not with how the court thinks about vampires like me."

He paused, again grounding himself in the assurance of Jory's hold on his hand, that they were there together, and that with Jory, he felt safe.

"... It was the injection advancements he wanted me for," Danial finally continued. "I'm not scientifically minded, but from what I could understand, whatever drug he'd come up, whatever hormone cocktail it was, he'd bonded it to and stabilized it with immortal blood. Ancient blood, some blend of it, I'm not exactly sure who but I'd lay odds on some of Seth's being in there. But testing it on older immortals was going to take longer; Fareed said months, maybe longer of prolonged treatments to get enough of the stuff to have an effect on those older in the blood, and he didn't or wasn't allowed to just go injecting younger, newer made immortals with that much powerful blood because they'd get all kinds of advancements of the Dark Gifts as a side effect without being prepared. I'm still under fifty years in the blood, and knowing ancient blood doesn't seem to have the same kind of affect on me..."

He trailed off, his gaze growing momentarily distant as he remembered that first conversation; of Fareed explaining things, and Marius' reaction to it all when it had been presented to the both of them during that visit to the labratory.

"I wasn't exactly forced," He continued, softer, his focused dropping to their joined hands. "I was... encouraged. Told to think about the greater implications of it, for all of our kind, for the advancement of immortal science. So... I agreed. I just didn't know when I did what all was involved." Daniel looked up at Jory again, his brow creased lightly with worry over the admission. "I lost track of how many injections I had over a period of about three months, I just ended up feeling like a pincushion, and Fareed kept wanting to up the dose and he did... and it worked."

Daniel made a vague gesture to his own groin. "Fully functional like when I was still mortal, just... not capable of conception since our bodily fluid is mostly blood or a mix of it, but that's never been anything I've given a shit about being able to do. I just... I got tired of that being what I ended up being there for more than getting any help for what I went there about in the first place. And I got tired of being questioned, and poked and prodded, and having scientists more interested in my dick than my brain."

He lapsed into silence again for a moment, thought back again to those years when it had all taken place. "... I was supposed to go back for a last few follow ups with Fareed, and never did... but when I left the court and everyone that first time, it wasn't because of that. It was because things had broken down between me and Marius, and because Armand was there - he was constantly there, always interjecting himself into our lives, unwelcomed... or so I'd thought. Now looking back, and knowing what I do now, Marius wanted him there. Wanted him, and was using me to keep him coming back for more."

Daniel tightened his hold on Jory's hand. "I don't know if Fareed has ever tried looking for me. I'm not strong in a lot of ways in the gifts but I'm good at blocking other immortals when I'm not out of my mind, as good as I am at listening to others thoughts when they don't think they can be heard... and I was asleep for so long, I don't think anyone could have found me during all that time."

He searched Jory's eyes, the worry in his own evident. "I just... don't think Fareed or any of the other researchers ever considered the possibility that the effects would be so long lasting, or that it could ever be passed on to a fledgling, and for your sake I don't want them to ever know. Because then they might come looking, for both of us. You've never had any of the medications or injections, have you?"

"No," Jory said firmly. "Nothing. No injections, no medications. You made sure of that." He shifted closer on the bench, his hand coming up to cup Daniel's face. "Months of being used like a commodity, and Marius knew. He encouraged it." His thumb brushed across Daniel's cheekbone. "But you said the effects are long lasting. What does that mean? Does it impact me? Does it mark us both if they ever found out?"

He didn't wait for an answer before continuing, his voice fierce and certain. "Whatever this is, we figure it out together. And if Fareed or anyone else from that court ever comes looking, they're going to have to go through me first. You're not a tool. You're mine, and I protect what's mine."

#|| long time no see thread ||#|| mirroredxmusings ||

Daniel tilted his head into the touch, closed his eyes for a long moment to ground himself in the sensation before he spoke again, and when he did there was a note of unmistakable weariness in his words. "... I've always been commodity to vampires, even before I became one."

He opened his eyes and his gaze drifted out over the square as flashes of memory from years gone passed through him. "... Lestat was right about what he said in his books. No mortal could resist Armand, and I was the one that had to... satisfy. The first couple of times it -- there was the rush of doing something like that. But then it was just... expected, and with anyone and everyone he'd seduced into it. And on the nights I argued, then he'd use the blood to... convince me."

Daniel looked at Jory again and his expression and voice grew softer, full of a quiet tenderness as he lifted and hand and brushed his fingertips to Jory's lips. "... That's why I was always so careful with you, about the blood. When I gave you some that first night we were together, after I'd given you the concussion... that's the reason I tried to roll your mind and make you forget me. I didn't want you to be a slave to the blood like I was, and it's so easy to let it become everything for some people...."

He paused, then smiled, warmth and something close to pride shining in his eyes. "But you're stronger than I am and was. I just didn't realize it until I'd known you a little longer."

There was another pause, longer this time before Daniel turned back to the primary topic. "... As far as what it, the research and injections mean and how it impacts both of us... I really don't know, Jory." Daniel hesitated then added, "Aside from the obvious. It's why we can make love, and it obviously passed down from me to you when I turned you. It might mark us both if anyone ever got wind about the research but I don't know how many know about that or if Fareed ever continued it. For all I know everybody at court has already been put on it, or Fareed scrapped it to try something else."

Daniel studied Jory quietly, took a moment to silently marvel at how the blood had preserved him so perfectly not only in body but far beyond, and then he pressed a hand over Jory's heart reverently. "If they ever came looking, they'll have to get through both of us. I know I'm not strong like the others, but... I know how to hold my own if I really need to. I've been pushed into a corner before and have a trick or two up my sleeve if I ever need to protect you." He locked eyes with Jory, and his own were full of gratitude and love. "I hope we never have to fight or defend ourselves, but... It means more to me than you know, that you want to protect me."

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