elijah bent down to pick up the scattered materials , stalling as best he could . he fumbled to stuff his pens and highlighters back into his backpack , muttering a soft thank you to daniel when the older man handed him a few other things . when they stood up , eliâs eyes were hopeful in their wide state , afraid of being lectured , afraid of being on the hard end of a i thought you were better than this . as if he didnât hear that from his REAL DAD on a daily basis . his head dropped as he steeled himself for the inevitable , wishing all the while that heâd just stayed home . yeah , his dad and stepmom both hated him and were probably GLAD that he wasnât there anymore , but at least he was used to their disappointment . he could never get used to danielâs . when daniel spoke again , eliâs head snapped up . he searched danielâs gaze for any signs of a lie , for any indication that he was disappointed in eli , and was just too kind to say it . but daniel was always genuine , including now . he blinked , shaking his head rapidly .  â are you kidding ? i would LOVE to hear about it , like ⊠E V E R Y T H I N G , if you wanna talk about it ! but âŠÂ youâre âŠÂ really not mad at me ? but you ⊠you TRUSTED me , dan , and i didnât DO WHAT YOU ASKED . â he shook his head again , struggling to process the words . â i thought âŠÂ they told me you were dead , i found out during a fucking LIVESTREAM , and it was like âŠÂ like the entire world had changed , had just gone to black , and we were just stuck in the dark , stumbling around and trying to find a light switch that you always had , but everyone else found their way out , and i didnât ? and all i could think about then was how much it HURT , but now youâre back , and ââ and i canât stop thinking about what you asked me , and how IMPORTANT it was to you , but i didnât do it . i let my stupid FEELINGS get the best of me , and i ⊠CRAP , daniel , iâm so sorry . â he breathed in deep , cheeks growing red after his long and borderline emotional rant ââ because , right , like a grown man needed an explanation on grief-induced depression ââ and let his gaze fall to the ground , nodding strictly , as if to affirm his dadâs believes that little elijah shouldâve been a better kid .  â iâm really sorry , and itâs okay if you ARE mad . and , um , i missed you , too . â if that wasnât already obvious .
       âof course i wanna talk about it! we were in a fucking cult that killed people on occasion and made it out without a scratch. or, without a scratch from the cult. mayerâs a different story. but it was so cool, the dynamics within the cult? having to figure all of that out? eli, it was so interesting.â he almost said he wished eli wouldâve been there, but then daniel remembered that it had kind of been a precarious life-or-death situation that he shouldnât be wishing on anyone. but still, it was cool. âwho else am i supposed to talk to about that? who else will understand?â everyone else seemed to be walking on eggshells around him; but he was fine. really. his heart hurt as he listened to eli explain how heâd felt when he thought daniel was dead. he had known it had probably affected the team, as death does, he really hadnât been aware of exactly how much it had hurt. ginaâs death was the only one he had ever experienced, and he wasnât as close to gina as he and eli were. he shook his head, dismissing eliâs worries, âdude, in case you forgot, when i was in charge, i almost got everyone killed in silverwood. so, no, iâm not mad at you for not absolutely killing netflix. itâs not a big deal. it was only important to me because i was excited the team had the opportunity to let this thing continue to grow. yâknow, make real jobs out of it outside of merch sales. and you didnât stop any of that from happening; the season went up anyway, so,â he shrugged, âwho cares? now iâm back and we can do this together. iâm proud of you for coming back at all, not everyone would have that in them. â