The Rules Of EMS
This is, as I know the most complete list of all the rules of EMS. The first 10 are from the original posting to misc.emerg-services back in 1993, I found the original posting with some help from the author Jay Friberg, Thanks Jay, that list was the original inspiration for this page. The rest are from additions to that list in the news group and various websites that have the list. Including 50 or so of my own creations If you see any mistakes or have any additions please Use our forums Also please check your submissions to see if they are already on the list Most of my now gone duplicates were from submissions, thank you.
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1. Skin signs tell all
2. Sick people donât bitch
3. Air goes in and out,blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing.
4. About %70 of the battery patients more than likely deserved it.
5. The more equipment you see on a EMTs belt, the newer they are.
6. There is no rule 6.
7. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
8. All bleeding stopsâŠ.eventually.
9. All people will eventually die, no matter what you do.
10. If the child is quiet, be scared.
11. EMS is extended periods of intense boredom, interrupted by occasional moments of sheer terror.
12. Always follow the rules but be wise enough to leave them sometimes.
13. If the pt. vomits, try to hold the head to the side of the rig with the least difficult cleanable equipment.
14. If someone dies by chem. hazards, electrical shocks or other on-scene dangers it should be the patient, not you. (also known as rule 1313)
15. Any EMT, FF, LEO and/or scene chief who is more drunk than the patient is the real problem.
16. There will be problems.
17. The severity of the injury(s) is directly proportional to the difficulty in accessing, as well as the weight, of the patient.
18. Hand grenades and turret mounted machine guns usually work better than lights and sirens.
19. Make sure the rookie EMT knows that a med patch is a radio term, and not a medicated bandage.
20. âParamedics save lives; EMTâs save Paramedics.â (to quote a T-shirt or bumper sticker)
21. If the patient looks sick, than the patient is sick.
22. If the patient is sitting up and talking to you, then the patient is not in V-Fib, no matter what the monitor says.
23. It is that bad.
24. Full spinal precautions were custom made for obnoxious drunks. So were NPAs.
25. If you absolutely must vomit, than it is probably best to turn your head away from the patient.
26. It is generally bad to use the words âholy shitâ on scene, in reference to the patients condition.
27. Patients that crash in separate vehicles should be transported in separate vehicles.
28. Just because someoneâs fully immobilized doesnât mean they canât be violent.
29. If Iâm up, EVERYONE is up!
30. Better them (another unit) then me.
31. I saved the patientâŠfrom the fire department.
32. When responding to a call always remember that your ambulance was built by the lowest bidder
33. Never get into the front of the ambulance with someone that is braver than you are
34. When in doubt use industrial strength therapy
35. If its stupid, but it works, then it ainât stupid
36. Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
37. Always honor a threat
38. Always know when to get out of dodge
39. Always know HOW to get out of dodge
40. The important things are always simple
41. The simple things are always hard
42. If the pt is going to vomit (especially projectile) be sure to aim towards any bystanders that would NOT clear the scene. (This also works for OICâs)
43. Sometimes itâs easier to beg forgiveness than get permission.
44. You canât please any of the people any of the time.
45. Donât go INTO Dodge without the Marshall.
46. They said, â Smile, things could be worse.â So we smiled and sure enough, things got worse!!!
47. Always answer a newbieâs questions. (you once asked them, too.)
48. Always Trust bad feelings (letâs see if anyone notices I added in the missing #)
49. EMTâs are taught - âthe man with the gun, is the man in chargeâ (i.e.: the police) WRONG !!!!! Real life (when the fire dept. is on scene) âThe man with the NOZZLE (charged hose line) is the man in charge !!â Trust me , itâs true. Iâve been there. that charged hose will send you farther down the block & hurt more before the cop begins to think about shooting you.
50. The number of drugs a patient has on board is directly proportional to the number of knuckles tattooed.
51. If you respond to an MVA after midnight and you donât find a drunk, keep looking - youâve missed a patient.
52. PVCâs can be eliminated by sending a strip to the hospital.
53. The ultimate QA program in EMS is an autopsy.
54. Best time to work a code - overtime.
55. Pain never killed anyone.
56. All fevers eventually fall to room temperature.
56. A Pt.âs weight is directly proportional to the chances the elevator will be non-functioning.
57. Here is a simple ETOH test: Hold your hands about 6 inches apart with thumbs and forefingers touching and ask pt. what color string you are holding. If pt. indicates a color it is a positive test.
58. A tourniquet around the neck solves all problems.
59. If you drop the baby, pick it up.
60. The dead never get better, on the other hand they never get worse.
61. O2 is good, blue is bad.
62. Never trust a ER doc with anything sharper than a tongue depressor
63. Less than 8, intubate (GCS score).
64. Asystole is a very stable rhythm
65. A Pt.âs weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in the building.
66. A Pt.âs weight is directly related to the number of stair flights between him/her and the rig.
67. âWhen in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shoutâ.
68. EMS RULE OF THREES (as it relates to codes) 300 pounds
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