Anything & Everything

Heyy! Nice to meet you, I’m Dankderp. Come read all about me, and maybe we can be friends!

[dankderp]

Concept

Polish mountain, but instead of 50 layers of nail polish on your fingernails it’s 50,000 layers of paint on a wall.

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I want to be engaged in a community on tumblr or something but I’m not passionate enough about any bands or shows or books or anything to join a fandom

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Taco Fact

To answer the burning question in all of your brains, tacos do in fact take on the personalities of the cow whose beef they now are one with.

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I don’t even remember posting this whoops

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What Teens Should Be Doing All Day, According To Adults

Have you ever wondered what adults think teens daily schedules should be? Well, don’t worry, because I’ve got you covered.

7-7:30AM: Making Yourself Look Presentable/Stretching

7:30-8AM: Breakfast

8AM-3PM: School

3-5PM: After School Activities/Clubs

5-6PM: Dinner

6-8PM: Exercise

8-9PM: Studying

9PM-7AM: Sleeping

There you have it! Sounds impossible, huh? No time to yourself, the only people who actually have fun all day are the ones who really like exercise or clubs. That’s not realistic or fair to anyone, you say? Try telling that to our teachers who tell us every single day that call us lazy or stupid if we don’t spend at least an hour outside of school doing more schoolwork. Try telling that to the health professionals our schools hire every so often that tell us to get two hours of physical activity in every day and sleep for 10 hours each night. Try telling that to our cooking teacher who ridiculed everyone who didn’t make themselves three hearty meals a day, in front of the whole class. Try telling that to the principals who tell us that no college will accept us unless we sign up for two hour-long after-school activities. Try telling that to everyone else in our lives always saying that we should listen to and respect the adults around us more. You know what I think? I think the adults around us need to listen to us more.

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Shopping with my mum for my little sister’s party stuff

Me, holding up loot bag handcuffs: Wow, these seem great for our party!

My mum: Those seem like they’d be for a very different kind of party.

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Me: *tries to pet my cat*

My cat: *scratches, bites, and hides from me*

Me: *leaves her alone*

My cat: Wtfff??? Pay attention to me???!

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Student 1: HEY! Student 2, you just knocked over my stuff! Pick it up!!

Student 2 (innocent): What? No I didn’t!

Me (saw student 1 knock over her own stuff): Yeah, student 2! Come on!

Student 2: I didn’t do it!! Student 3, you saw.

Student 3 (knows student 2 is innocent): You did it.

Student 4 (hadn’t been paying attention): I saw you too!

Student 5 (wasnt even looking in our direction when it happened): 100% your fault!

Student 2: Seriously guys...

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Oh my god my sister (9 years old) had her friend (also 9) over for a sleepover last night and during the night her friend literally took a pair of my sister’s socks, put them in the mini trash can we have in her room, and then PEED. She literally peed in the garbage can on top of my sister’s socks. Not even a joke, that’s literally just what her instinct was. Remember, 9 years old...

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Yellow is the best flavour of literally any candy don’t @ me

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Real Shower Thoughts

-I wonder if anyone is reading my mind right now and/or is planning to kill me as soon as I get out of the shower

-Hey remember that one meme you saw four years ago

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*something tear-provoking happens*

Me: *holds in my tears*

Me: *goes home*

Me: *greets all of my family members and has a cheerful conversation*

Me: *goes up to my room*

Me: *fuckinf bawls my eyes out*

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Things I say that concern my family

“Mm, gotta keep those potatoes crispy” whenever I drink water

Literally anything else because I have nothing to say that is considered remotely normal

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Thing my teacher said after taking some kid’s paper to demonstrate what to do with it

“No, I don’t want you to actually fold it! I was just folding it so that you guys wouldn’t see horrible drawing she did and judge her for her lack of skill!”

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My sister lost her phone and my mum had a spare so she gave her phone to Ella and took the spare. I asked why, thinking it would be something nice about how she’s her daughter but no. It’s because it has less storage nice move mum

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On one hand I want to read but on the other I really don’t want to stain my new pillowcase with tears

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I’ve really taken for granted how not-boring this past school year has been

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My teacher before giving us a test: Don’t worry, this test is super easy

My teacher during the test: Okay, so everything’s easy except for that one question

My teacher after the test: The class did terribly. I’m not even kidding. How did you all even manage that