Dan Lee @danlee1986 - Tumblr Blog

I’m Not Enough...

This has been a resounding theme throughout my life, constantly washing over my mind, soul, and heart. Not good enough, not smart enough, not athletic enough, not spiritual enough, not cool enough, not talented enough, not “Christian” enough, etc. I have heard this explicitly and implicitly from external sources, the most painful is when you feel this lack of adequacy so viscerally by people you care about the most, many times unintentionally, nonetheless very real. Moreover, I have told myself that I am not enough; self-sabotaging opportunities, relationships, and the like because of my own feeling of not being enough. The problem is that it is true. I’m not enough.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfLcdBuB7NY

However, I have a Jesus that does not forsake or leave me. Not even for a minute does He leave me. Even when, especially when I am undeserving of it. He meets me here, right here where I am.

While listening to this song on repeat in the car ride home, I was thinking about my own pain, hurt, trials, short-comings, difficulties, thinking about the great city of Chicago and the lost there, the pain of people I love and care about, the insurmountable weight they carry on their shoulders and I openly wept for the hour and a half long drive.

I’m not enough...Unless you (Jesus) come.

Psalm 124

1 If it had not been the Lord who was on our side— let Israel now say— 2 if it had not been the Lord who was on our side when people rose up against us, 3 then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us; 4 then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us; 5 then over us would have gone the raging waters.

6 Blessed be the Lord, who has not given us as prey to their teeth! 7 We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped!

8 Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

Provided to YouTube by TuneCore Way Maker (feat. Aaron Crabb & Amanda Crabb) · Restoring Hope Church Praise Team · Aaron Crabb · Amanda Crabb Songs of Overfl...

Recently I’ve been drawn to this idea of God as a Promise Keeper, the one who keeps His promises and then in contrast, I consider the plethora of times that I have broken my promise(s) to Him. The astounding part being that Him keeping His promises is not contingent on me, His amazing, incredible, unending, unconditional love is not because of who I am but that is His character. That is who He is. My heart years to see the Lord’s promises fulfilled in my personal life, in my community, in the world.

I find myself increasingly tired, utterly exhausted, totally drained at all of the crazy stuff going on in the world today. It is entirely overwhelming, the constant screaming to be heard, to voice one’s opinions, share one’s thoughts. I found I couldn’t sleep while wrestling with the idea of immigration laws, building walls, politics, etc. It all felt and continues to feel completely hopeless...

Where I find hope, where I find peace, comfort, and joy is in who He is, because I know He keeps His promises. That is who He is.

#waymaker #miracleworker #promisekeeper #lightinthedarkness #thatiswhoyouare

Legacies...I have heard it said that one’s life is summed up on one’s tombstone in the little dash between one’s DOB and one’s passing.

Last weekend, I attended a funeral. My second Filipino funeral, I had no idea what to wear because at the first one I found some Filipinos wear white or bright colors to celebrate their beloved’s life, i defaulted to my all black, looking like a jackass. I digress.

I showed up to my friend’s mother’s funeral and saw a large group of people in the chapel. It was incredible to see how many lives this one woman touched, through her work: patients, co-workers; church members, etc. This woman was a warrior. She fought cancer, was a nurse, raised some amazing children, is a grandmother. However I would posit her legacy went beyond herself, through her children she influenced people, even to myself. What a legacy.

I’m leaving...but I’m coming back

A paraphrase at church in consideration of Jesus explaining His death and resurrection to the disciples. I’m leaving but I’m coming back. This probably bewildered the disciples but as Jesus departs after His resurrection during the ascension, He says the same thing. He gives the disciples the Great Commission then says, I’m leaving but I’m coming back.

Not only that, He says the Spirit will come to be with them, and that He will be with us until the end of the age. While we are overjoyed at the resurrection of Jesus, let us also revel in anticipation of the glory and victory that is to come because Jesus is coming back!

#comeLordJesus #soonandverysoon #likeathiefinthenight

Happy Easter. He is risen.

A Bit of Honesty Concerning Health

The first picture was taken at Easter 2 years ago. Man, looking at those buttons holding on for dear life, they the real MVP. People (mostly my mother) would often ask, “Doesn’t your body feel uncomfortable being so big/fat? Could you notice the difference?” Gaining weight was not a sudden, overnight thing where i instanteously put on 50 pounds. It was incremental gaining, where little habits formed into a lifestyle of unhealthiness. 1 can of soda pop became 2 until it became 2+ liters.

In the same way there have been little things/habits that have affected my spiritual life which has led it awry at points. It’s not the big monumental moments but the little ones. I believe the elements of a human being (body, mind, and soul) are so intricately connected that when one suffers, all suffer. My weight gain should have been an indicator that something else was going on. I was overworked, overstressed, stagnant, and using food as control/stress relief. The issue was in my heart and mind. Once my physical body spiraled out of control, my mind further devolved into putting up walls, developing unhealthy relationships, and hurting people around me. Again, not all of a sudden, but tiny little things became habits, became part of my character (or lack thereof).

I can’t really tell you which came first between physical, mental, or spiritual wellness. I think they all received a rude awakening and I realized I needed to get my life in order. By no means have I arrived, but I beseech you, take an inventory of your heart, mind, soul, and body. Give yourself the grace and space to breathe and lay your burdens at the foot of the cross.

#tbt - 2 years ago

#tbt

There is not a single day that goes by that I am not faced with insurmountable doubt. Fear that rushes toward me like a tidal wave, sweeping me out from under my feet I am carried away; a voice that simultaneously screams aloud for everyone to hear and whispers ever so intimately in my ear that I am not good enough. It shakes me to my core, because I think or at least question, “Is it true?” I know my past, my history; I know my shortcomings and the times I have fallen. I know. I know all too well. I question each glance people give me because of past hurts and scars, wondering what their intentions and motives are. I look at myself and think, nay I know, that I am unworthy. That I am not enough. This doubt, this fear strikes every fiber of my being...EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Then another voice that longs to be heard... This voice tells me that He doesn’t care that I’m not good enough, that it was never about my goodness anyway, that He is good enough for both of us. This voice tells me to stop listening to and living in fear, doubt, and insecurity. He tells me He loves me. Not because I’ve done anything to deserve it, but because that is who He is. He shows me and tells me who He is. He showed me, even in my wretchedness that I am worth something to Him. He bought me (sinful, terrible me) with a price...the price of His life. His very presence casts out the fear that I continually, daily listen to. He holds me and all the broken pieces are mended and made whole. He tells me He loves me. He tells me He loves me. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. P.S. He also wants me to tell you, He loves you.

My journey to health:

A year ago I was at my unhealthiest. I weighed 240 pounds. I used food as control. I would go to eat with friends and order 2 meals for myself to satiate my appetite. I was drinking more than 2 liters of soda-pop per day.

One day I went to the doctor and he told me that I was going to die, to which I responded, “Don’t we all die?” But in my heart I knew something needed to be done. I told him that I would start exercising and he told me that I shouldn’t because I’d probably have a heart attack on the spot.

...

So i disregarded his advice and cut soda-pop out of my life, controlled my portion to a normal human’s portion size, and walked 5k to work every day. I started losing weight and am now at 165 pounds. It has been an arduous journey, but I do feel better about myself, healthier, and more energetic than ever.

October - Pastor Appreciation Month

The life of a pastor is interesting. I can think of no other “occupation” that is so intertwined with one’s life and identity. At the end of the day, most people stop doing their work, go home, and spend time with family and friends; however pastors can never stop being pastors. I also think there is nothing as rewarding as being a pastor, no other job has everlasting reward.

When my sister was in med school and I was in seminary, we were arguing who had it harder. I explained to her that all of her studying was of the human body which is finite, while I study the God who is infinite. I told her that every one who becomes healthy because of her diagnoses and medicine will eventually die, whereas anyone who comes to faith has eternal fellowship with God. She proceeded to smack me on the head.

October is pastor appreciation month. What price can you put on your spiritual growth and development? Thank your pastors, folks.

"It's cold outside, take a jacket"

A simple comment most have heard from our parents (mostly mothers). It may be a bright, balmy day, yet as you walk out the door your mother rushes behind you holding out your jacket, telling you it's cold outside. Why is this? -Is it because she believes the newscasters (no matter how many times they're wrong), while she's up making your breakfast? -Mayhap, contrary to your opinion, you're not wearing enough clothes or don't look fashionable and she's trying to help you cover up. -Can she foresee the future weather through her mom powers? -Is it simply because she's cold? She has aged while raising you. ... Or perhaps above all, she realizes that the world is a cold, dark place and she wants to keep you safe and warm, reminiscent of her embrace. (Let's always be appreciative of our mothers, and show them we love them. Wear the jacket, feel her warmth wherever you go.)

Contemporary Evangelism

Previous generations preached the Gospel of Jesus rigorously in a time where going door to door was acceptable. They preached the Gospel without their lives reflecting what they were preaching, which pushed many away from Christ.

Contemporarily, have gone the far other direction and make the claim that simply through their lifestyles will they show the Gospel, yet it seems as though there has not been a significant change. That is because to the world, it seems as though these people are simply trying to live moral lives.

These two methods of evangelism need to converge. Showing through action is great, but it must be followed with preaching, to explain the reason why one does strive to live a holy life.

In the Great Commission Jesus says to teach: teaching is not simply done through words but through action, nor is it only done through action but instruction. It is not either/or, rather, both/and.

Suit Up! (Getting started) Here are some little tips to get started for those of you who intend to suit up, which you all should.

The last picture is for those who desire to express one's affection, but may not have the courage to do it face to face. It's a cute, clever way to express one's interest. Enjoy!

Chivalry is Dead

Many claim that chivalry is dead, to which I respond, "It is not dead, until I die."

As of late, I had considered the times that we live in and considered what ails the society that we live in. When considering the people of old, they had such style and class, things we have lost along the way. I grew up with 2 wonderful sisters who taught and trained me to be a gentleman at all times. Embodying gentlemanliness has been a goal that I had striven for, for years, and it seems to finally be catching on. A friend decided to coin the term "Gentlemen's Revolution" and I like the ring that it has to it. In these following weeks, I will begin to post considering the art of being a gentleman, as a call to all men to stand up and be gentlemen. There will also be commentary on our society and why it is so difficult to be a gentleman at times, but we will rise above.

Today, I will being by saying that gentlemanliness has more to do with character than anything else. It is an inward position of the heart that is exemplified through one's actions and lifestyle. If a man is a man of character, it will show through him being a gentleman. The tricky part of this is when your gentlemanly actions become misconstrued or assumed to be flirtation or worse, being a player. Do not fret, this has less to do with gentlemanliness/your character and more to do with how desperate our society begs for attention and over emphasizes the need for romance. Inversely, one must weigh his own heart to ensure that he is not doing gentlemanly things simply for the attention of a young lass he fancies. Character is the key to the beginning of gentlemanliness.

Character can only be refined by a search for godliness and ethics. Seek these things first above all things, and we are off to a good start.

A Letter to a Friend - Personal Rough Thoughts on Homosexual Marriage

My dear friend, Adam: Thus far, I have not voiced my opinions on this topic in any place, for I desired to be careful, and to tread lightly in this matter, partially because I worried that if I said anything, I would be shunned or dismissed for being a Christian. I found that notion odd, for it seems as though the hate is a two way street. The pro-marriage side considers themselves to be full of love and the anti-marriage people full of hate for trying to restrict their rights, but it seems as though in truth many malicious things are being said and done to bully the "Christians" into submission. Inversely, it seems as though those who claim to be "Christians" say they are full of God's love but spread "hate". So in fact, no one is sharing the love that we all speak of and desire.

First, I would agree with most of the posts above, of how distasteful and sad this situation is. Also, I agree with Dan Lukas in that the group of people that were pictured is a small and poor representation of what the Christian family looks like. I qualify the word "Christians" above, because there are many in different stages and beliefs, but they may not all be true Christians. Christians who spread judgment and hate, must reconsider what our Lord has said (but more on that later). At this juncture, I would like to apologize to you and to all of those who may read this. I am sorry. I am sorry if I was ever a poor representation of Christ. I am sorry if people in your family, friends, or co-workers have hurt you and those around you, or misrepresented Christ's love in any way. I'm sorry for the things the church has done. I am sorry. At times, we fail and make mistakes and for that I am sorry. I hope our failings does not dismiss our religion, beliefs, or Lord in your mind.

Secondly, from a more pragmatic standpoint, can anyone explain to my why the government has the authority to grant marriage or not? If I think back, marriage has usually been a religious thing, which makes me wonder, why the government, who claims separation of church and state, dip their hands in everything? Marriage is a beautiful, sacred thing, a promise between two people (and God if that's what you include in your marriage), I'm not sure why the government ever had the right to deny anyone marriage. If a church, a priest, a judge does not want to do the ceremony for the couple, they should not be forced to. If a church, priest, or judge desires to do the marriage ceremony, then they should.

Thirdly, pertaining to the method of the debate. This entire debate has been rampant with outlandish over-generalizations. Let us not presume that all Christians are such and such way, let us not assume all homosexuals are a certain way, let us not think that a same sex couple will have a happier marriage than a conventional couple, or vice versa. Each person's scenario and experiences differ. Rather, let us all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry (James 1:19). Another thing is the amount of Scripture being used on both sides. Being a seminary student, I think that one must be careful as to how they interpret and use Scripture. Also, having passion and a righteous anger is a great thing, but why turn it into attacking another person? It seems odd to me that the biggest accusation to the "Christians" is that they are being intolerant, and their intolerance will not be tolerated. My dear friend, does that not seem strange to you? Let us not attack one another, but spend some time discussing a peaceable way to work things out harmoniously.

To my Christian brothers and sisters: If we spent more time striving to fulfill the Great Commission by living the Greatest Commandment that the Lord has given us, I doubt we would be in the situation that we are today. Instead of spending your time picketing or screaming judgement on friends and family, spend some time listening and making disciples. I had considered in my heart, what our Lord would say if He was on earth today, I doubt He would be picketing, rather He would be teaching peace and love. I love you all dearly, I am praying for each and every one of you. May our Lord bless you.

To my non-Christian friends: Again, I am sorry. It is my hope that one day you will see a true example of what Christ's love is and that you will receive Him into your heart and make Him your Lord. There is honestly nothing greater in this world that I can think of or imagine. I too was once lost, I had a huge gaping hole in my heart and life, but the Lord met me in my brokenness and healed me. My God is a loving, kind, amazing God (I mean, He made you, and you're pretty awesome). I hope someday soon you will meet Him. I am praying for you also and love you dearly. Blessings to you.

Back to Adam: I hope you receive this well. I hope it is coherent. I think I have more to add/refine, but I will end it here. If you have read all of this, thank you and thank you for letting me speak my mind comfortably. I do miss you my old friend. It's been almost 10 years since I've seen you last. I hope you are well. I pray the Lord blesses your endeavors.

Blessings, Servant of the Most High God -Daniel E. Lee Grace, peace, and above all...Love.

[Edit] - As time progresses, I will add more along the way.

I agree, Adam. It disheartens me to see the hate (especially in the name of "God"), yet I hope and pray that the goodness of the masses will quiet the voices of hate. I think that it must be pointed out that I do not condone the behavior of these young people speaking hate in the name of religion, nor do I encourage homosexuality. Do I believe that people are born with the disposition of homosexuality, not necessarily (I need to do more research), but I do know that all people are born with sin, and homosexuality is simply another area/type of sin. One should not judge homosexuality with more contempt than pride, stealing, lying, envy, etc. and ALL are born with sin, and there is no way to freedom except through Christ (that is my Christian faith/beliefs [fitting that it's Holy Week/Easter's Eve]). Hypothetically, I wonder if someone were "born" with the disposition of pedophilia, bestiality, or the disposition to murder (the psychopath chromosome), if those things would be made legal because they were born with those dispositions. Thoughts? Again, I would like to thank you for providing an environment where I feel safe to voice my opinions, and I am glad that you are bringing these things to light where we can discuss logically and calmly amongst friends. Thank you.

Reminiscing of and looking forward to Uganda

In May of 2011, I went to Uganda and my life was changed. I went to Uganda not knowing anything about the culture or people, but some friends that I trusted were going, so I decided to join them. Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me. We arrived in this beautiful country, but I was a bit concerned, had haughty thoughts that we as a team would be bringing the light of Jesus to these people who live in an impoverished state, yet God decided to smack me in the face with the truth. The people we met were wonderful! The children were absolutely beautiful and kindhearted. They showed me the love of Christ.

I went to Uganda cold hearted, thinking, I've traveled the world, I have seen poverty on many different levels in many different countries, there is no reason for me to weep or feel any pity for these people in specific. That's when I met the family in the last picture. The mother had mental issues as it were, then one day the father was attacked by thieves and they cut off his hands, by the time he reached the hospital it was too late. The doctors amputated his arms, so he cannot work, he wears a dress because he cannot use the restroom on his own, he eats like a goat by putting his face to the food (as they explained in Uganda). He begs where/when he can to support his wife and two daughters, but often times his brother would come and steal his money.

Everything was fine until I took this photo, the elder of the two daughters (in the photo), gave me a hug and I looked into her eyes for a split second. And in her eyes was a combination of hurt, pain, fear, but compassion and kindness. I broke. I wept for about an hour straight. My friends who know me well, know that I am a man's man. My testosterone levels are over 9001! I wept, I do not mean that I cried...I wept. My heart broken, I was escorted outside to weep for Uganda, for this family, and for my own brokenness (hardness of heart). All this to say, I do not pity this family for the state they are in, this is not some sob story to make people feel bad about themselves or to pity those in a worse state than we are in, but it is to say that we must share the light, spread the love.

I do look forward to going to Uganda once again. May Your will be done Lord. Soli Deo Gloria

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