heaven.

the truth runs wild, like rain to the sea. trying to set straight the lines that i trace to find some relief. this voice inside has been eating at me !! ( DANIEL BERG )

[dannybergs-blog]

Shawn was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, not sure how to process what had just happened. On one end of the spectrum, Danny was his best friend, and he knew that anything more than that would probably send years of friendship down the drain. On the opposite end, Shawn couldn’t get the feeling of the kiss out of his head. The way it made butterflies flutter in his stomach and sent a shiver down his spine. It was a lot to work out for a fifteen year old boy. 

Daniel seemed to be deciding for him, though, like he did with a lot of things. Regretfully, Shawn was shy so he was usually okay with Danny doing things like ordering his food or talking over him when peers were around. This, though, was Shawn’s. He had a right to be justified in his feelings, and to tell Danny about them, no matter how unsettling that thought made him feel. As Danny spoke, Shawn cut him off. “Do you wanna do it again?” He asked, completely out on a whim. 

Do you want to do it again? --- The question pulled Danny out of his regretful thoughts, and for a moment he simply stared at Shawn with a blank expression. Of course he wanted to do it again. The kiss was different than anything else that Danny’s ever experienced before but it was familiar in the same way. It was Shawn. But with that came another question, should he want to do it again? As usual, Daniel was thinking about what was best for Shawn rather than what he could possibly benefit from all f this. And if he was thinking that way, then he probably shouldn’t have. Just to make Shawn’s life extremely easy in the sense that he’d never have to think about it again.

But if he wanted to make Shawn’s life easy then he wouldn’t have done it in the first place, right? It was confusing and he hated it, but before he could put any more rational thought into his answer, he shrugged. “I mean - um....” he rubbed the back of his neck, where Shawn’s hand previously was. “I --- yeah, I guess so? Yeah...” He paused, “Do you?”

[dannybergs-blog]

“I’m not that cheap,” she informed him with a shake of her head. “After all, you are talking to Bridgewood’s best writer.”

“But if you put forth your best writing, then everyone’ll know it wasn’t mine. You’ve gotta give, like --- B minus work. Maybe a C plus.”

[dannybergs-blog]

Shawn had never put much consideration into his sexuality. It wasn’t something that had really crossed his mind up until now, and it didn’t have to. Of course he’d had crushes on girls, but he’d never been with one. With no dates, with no kisses, who was he to decide what he did or didn’t like? Shawn was a firm believer that decisions came along with experience, and he was incredibly lacking in that department. He’d always thought of straight as a default setting, as though he’d never have to question his preferences. Now, with Danny’s lips on his, that didn’t seem so simple. 

He let the kiss go on for a few more moments before hesitantly pulling away. No distance was erased besides between their lips, and Shawn admittedly liked the closeness. “So, uh…” Shawn chuckled awkwardly, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. “That was nice.” He spoke honestly, the tip of his nose brushing against his best friend’s. He couldn’t really think of anything else to say in that moment. 

As soon as the kiss broke, another influx of worries washed into Danny’s mind. Even though Shawn had kissed him back, the action was admittedly forced --- Daniel forced himself onto Shawn; there was a possibility that the other boy didn’t even want to kiss him back. Maybe he was simply doing so to be nice, to lay it on him easily that he wasn’t interested instead of suddenly denying him all together. The moment of silence that ensued between the kiss before the next spoken words drove him crazy, and even after Shawn said that it was nice he still felt bad. 

“Yeah....” he agreed wistfully, but his eyes darted away from Shawn as he sat up. “I’m sorry, I ---,” he shook his head, his thumb and his index finger smoothing across his lips. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry. You’re probably not even ---,” he stopped himself with a sigh, and he debated on whether or not he should stay or go. He probably should go.

[tiyah16-blog]

[dannybergs-blog]

Shawn kept waiting for Danny to speak. To do anything, really. He’d never been good in situations where he was left to fill the silence. Danny had always been the one to do that. Whether it be in the sports they shared together or at the family dinner table. It had been Jacob before he passed away, and Danny quickly filled that place in his life. Shawn didn’t mind, though. Danny was his favorite person to be around. Despite this comfort, Shawn was still incredibly surprised when his best friend planted one right on his lips. 

Eyes widening at first, Shawn was stiff while he addressed the situation. Danny was kissing him. He was kissing Danny. The thought didn’t seem to shake him that badly, so after just a moment, Shawn’s eyes drifted closed and he worked his lips against Danny’s gently. He was completely blind going into this. He’d kissed a girl once in the eighth grade, but it was during spin the bottle and, in Shawn’s mind, didn’t count for shit. This was the real thing and while it was nerve wracking, it was also incredibly exciting. Shawn hesitantly brought one of his hands up to the back of Danny’s head, his fingers gently tangling into his hair as the kiss got a bit deeper. Shawn wasn’t sure why or how, but everything about the situation just felt right. 

Danny acted on a whim, and it was a whim that he couldn’t trust. This one action and this one action alone could completely break the friendship between him and Shawn that he worked so hard to build up - one of the only solid and real friendships that he had. It was idiotic, truthfully. Danny could have very well just swallowed his feelings and went on with his life; he thought that he was capable. Except he didn’t. He was utterly stupid and he didn’t.

So in the few seconds that Shawn was absent of a reaction, Daniel’s heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach and he had the strong feeling that it was over. He was about to pull away and rapidly apologize, in fact, but the moment before he could, Shawn finally began to kiss him back. Danny hadn’t truthfully kissed anybody before, but this wasn’t bad - it was nice, actually. Feeling Shawn’s fingers tangle into the locks on the back of his head was soothing, almost, and he absentmindedly smiled against his lips in response. He didn’t know if he should feel guilty for doing this when Shawn wasn’t even gay but right now he didn’t care.

[evangelina-delgado]

snapchat — open

[dannybergs-blog]

eva: fite me 

danny: will do. turn that location on.

[evangelina-delgado]

snapchat — open

[dannybergs-blog]

eva: lmao driving class all saturday morning #notickettho

danny: keep ur eyes on the road asshole

[dannybergs-blog]

“I can write your essay for you if you pay me $30.”

“--- I found a buck in one of the crumby lockers at the ice rink?”

[dannybergs-blog]

Amy: I’ve officially fallen in love. Amy: Can I hide him in my dorm? Amy: Too risky?

danny: HE’S SO CUTE WTF

[dannybergs-blog]

Pausing for a moment or two, she then pressed her lips together and shrugged. “I mean, half of it was true.” She admitted. “Plus, damn Daniel is only fourteen. You have an advantage. Unless you’re the same age then I really don’t know what to say.”

"Which half?” Daniel said with a cocked eyebrow. “I know, I heard. That only makes this whole video that much more disgraceful. I was fourteen and looked like I crawled out of a dumpster on the daily but he’s out here on Ellen and shit.”

[dannybergs-blog]

“Aw, honey,” he said. “You have such a hard life. Poor, Danny.”

“I know - I’m glad you at least understand that.”

[dannybergs-blog]

Shawn’s eyes followed Danny’s as the other boy sat up, towering over him just a bit. Shawn was small for his age, and while boxing was helping him bulk up a bit, Danny had hit his growth spurt way before Shawn could even think about it. “What are you looking at me like that for?” Shawn asked, involuntarily blushing. He brought a hand up to his face and over his eyes, turning his head over to look at Danny after pulling it away. He wasn’t normally shy around Danny. After all, they’d known each other for practically their entire lives. What reason did he have to be? 

Prompted to elaborate on his question, Shawn laughed, propping himself up on his elbows as he attempted to form his thoughts into words. “Like those animals on the nature channel look at each other when they’re in heat.” Shawn spoke bluntly, shaking his head. 

Daniel knew that he had been caught by the way an almost perplexed expression crossed Shawn’s features. Except he only, very quickly, averted his gaze to the design on Shawn’s blankets when he was questioned. He almost blushed himself against his will, but he looked as far away from the other boy as he could so that he wouldn’t notice either way. What was he supposed to say? Oh, Shawn, I like you - that’s why. That was stupid and cheesy and not to mention completely off limits. As far as he knew, Shawn was straight and Danny wasn’t exactly his type. “What do you mean?”

He inhaled a deep breath and hesitantly looked back over towards where Shawn laid, hoping - no, praying - that his best friend would brush it off. But of course he didn’t and Daniel was left to make up an excuse. Though an excuse was nonexistent and there was no way that his staring could be justified in a completely heterosexual way. So he released his breath in an exhale, and he let out an embarrassing chuckle, but before he could stop himself once more all rational thought was thrown out the window and he leaned down to press his lips on Shawn’s. It was sloppy and messy but that was the only way he knew how with how nervous he had been in that moment.

[dannybergs-blog]

“I’m sure there are girls who drool all over you, I mean you said it yourself; you pull off the white vans better anyway. If you and the other Daniel had a ‘damn daniel’ off, he wouldn’t know what hit him.”

“I think you’re only trying to flatter me ‘cause the real damn Daniel isn’t here to defend himself. Don’t worry - I see right through you.”

[dannybergs-blog]

Kameron cocked an eyebrow. He didn’t understand viral trends like this. The only reason he knew about the damn Daniel video was because Amy showed him. “Danny boy, chill,” Kameron laughed. “At least we know you’ve been at it with the white vans since day one.”

“I can’t chill. Do you know how much of a disgrace this is? To my name - my family - my soul? If anything, I need to get wild as hell about this. You don’t understand ‘cause you’re not a Daniel.”

[dannybergs-blog]

“Very very true. Alaska is honestly such an incredible place. I went there for a summer trip a few years back and it was an amazing experience! As for Canada we stopped in Vancouver on the way to Alaska and it was pretty nice, if i do say so myself.”

“See, there you go. Even though you wouldn’t have Snapchat, you’d still have a good time.”

[dannybergs-blog]

When Daniel agreed to seeing his other book, Shawn smiled eagerly. He really liked sharing knowledge with other people, ever since he was a kid. He would happily show off that he knew how to multiply before the other kids, or that he could say the alphabet backwards. It wasn’t so much that he was trying to show off, but that he wanted others to learn the same things that he was. It made him happy, so he assumed that it would do the same to everyone else. That was why Shawn liked his record books so much. They were full of fun facts and aspects of interesting people’s lives, things that Shawn could share with others. The record books were just mainstream enough that he wouldn’t be called a nerd for reading them. He liked that. 

Shawn pushed himself up from the bed and walked over to his bookshelf, scanning over the hard covers before coming up blank. Suddenly, he remembered. “Dammit, I told Jake that he could borrow it. I totally forgot.” He sighed, walking back over to the bed and laying down next to Danny. This time on his back, looking up to the ceiling. “What do you wanna do instead?” He asked, at a complete loss for ideas. 

There was no way that Daniel could have stopped his eyes from following Shawn’s figure as he stood, walked over towards the bookshelf and searched for the other record book. As of recently - for maybe a few weeks now - he’s been doing that. At first he couldn’t place why, because in his mind he never thought that he could have any sort of feelings towards his best friend, but lately he has come to terms with the fact that what he thought would never happen was true. He should’ve known, really - he didn’t find any interest in girls whatsoever like his other friends so immaturely did, and Shawn was.... well, Shawn was handsome. It was a no brainer.

Blinking away his dazed expression, Danny leaned on one elbow so that he could run a hand through his brunet hair. He had no idea what they should do next with the absence of the book. Or, more realistically, he didn’t have an idea of something that Shawn would want to do. He had a few ideas but nothing that he’d share out loud. So he shrugged, “I dunno...” and he let out a sigh. His eyes roamed around Shawn’s expression and didn’t have any will to stop.

[dannybergs-blog]

“Kind of digging the little dude thing. It’s bitching. M’cool with that, least I’m cute right? Oxygen tank, and all? He is only fourteen. Why are all these toddlers looking like they’re 22 year olds from fashion magazines. What the hell happened to puberty hitting them later?”

“You could say that, yeah. I can’t tell you from a personal standpoint but I’m sure others find you absolutely adorable. You know, that makes me angry. When I was fourteen I was disgusting but he’s looking like a super model. It’s completely unfair.”