[ewaneneollav]

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

[thecryptkeeper]

i get the impression that link is far more fond of rhett than rhett is of link. that rhett had other childhood friends while link only had rhett. and of course i think theyve done hand stuff

[thecryptkeeper]

right right….

[patrickbatemanamericanpsycho]

unspeakable violence

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[emmablowguns]

This is how shit feels lately

[neonpigeons]

everyone shut the fuck up. wurmple sippy soup

[onecoinsacchan-deactivated20181]

[konoko]

[evilvillain123456789]

they should keep making the anime guys fuck each other. i think its awesome and i have mental issues

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[leeisstillawake]

Spongebob

[pwesident]

poisons you with a poison that works immediately

[mxkoifish]

oh my god i feel it immedia

[emotionallycompromisedadultgirl]

[xgirlstupidx]

[curseworm]

burdened with doomsday visions from the mold growing in my reusable water bottle

[tea-with-veth]

I don’t need a moisturizing face mask I need to be crushed by an anvil and have my face muscles entirely reconstructed by swirling green magic. 

[foreveriallyzombified]

me: damn i feel like shit i can’t do this...

my borat tulpa i got from being part of mk ultra experiments: wai not :D

me: you’re right borat

[foulserpent]

im at the soup convention and many strong and beautiful women are talking about how delicious and nutrient rich my broth is and they didnt even mention you

[plasmalogical]

this is my fucking worst nightmare