Dapper's House of Characters @dappers-house - Tumblr Blog

And people ask me why I say Overwatch fans are cancerous idiots.

//My bad~ Ⓐ For Gordie, from Oasis. Call it a morbid curiosity.

Attractiveness:

repulsive || hideous || ugly || not attractive || unappealing || not unattractive || meh || no preference || ok || mildly attractive || nice looking || cute || adorable || attractive || pleasant on the eyes || good looking || hot || sexy || beautiful || gorgeous || hot damn || would tap that || perfect || godlike || holy fuck there are no words

Personality:

grating || irritating || frustrating || boring || confusing at best || awkward || unreasonable || psychotic || disturbing || interesting || engaging || affectionate || aggressive || ambitious || anxious || artistic || bad tempered || bossy || charismatic || appealing || unappealing || creative || courageous || dependable || unreliable || unpredictable || predictable || devious || dim || extroverted || introverted || egotistical || gregarious || fabulous || impulsive || intelligent || sympathetic || talkative || up beat || peaceful || calming || badass || flexibleOasis: I’d like to add him being predictable doesn’t mean he’s not fun.

How likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending || fuck no! || never || no way || not likely || not sure || indifferent || I’m asexual || maybe || probably || it depends || fairly likely || likely || yeah sure || yes || would tap that || hell yes || fuck yes! || wishing that could happen right now || as many times as possible || we are already having sex

Level of Friendship:

never in a million years || worst of enemies || enemies || rivals || indifferent || neutral || acquaintance || friendly toward each other || casual friends || friends || good friends || best friends || fuck buddies || bosom buddies || practically the same person || would die for them || true friends || my only friend ||

First impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

Current impression of them:

How good of a kisser:

worst kisser ever || terrible || bad || awkward || just okay || alright || pretty good || good || makes me moan || excellent || exciting || oh god they’re good || I dream about it || fucking amazing || absolute perfection || we haven’t kissed

Ⓐ

From which character (as if I didn’t know :P)

askmemesyo-blog1

Send me Ⓐ and my muse will rate yours:

turntable-fort

askmemesyo:

Attractiveness:

Personality:

How likely they would have sex with them:

Level of Friendship:

First impression of them:

Current impression of them:

How good of a kisser:

💗 [Oasis]

The shadows were long, the air cold, as the desert city of Murrage often was at night. The market was dying down, travelers and locals both fleeing the harsh bite of the desert night, to see refuge by warm fires and with warmer companions. Such was a fate that eluded the Merchant Prince of Murrage, as he began to close down his stall, and tally his (what some less charitable beings would call ill-gotten) gains for the day. It wasn’t a particularly good day for his profits, Oasis mused as he counted. No doubt due to those twins. Beautiful mares that they were, they were sham artists, shimmering sham artists. Tricking these poor people out of their bits. Not like himself. His attention was drawn, however, by a series of coughs. Small, weak, but the coughs themselves sounding painful. Turning to face the sound, Oasis found a small filly, no older than ten, clutching a blanket tight around herself, looking up at the Purrsian with big, aquamarine eyes. An orphan, it seemed. Trapped outside in the cold. “P-Please, I only ask for a moment of your time.” The small voice came from the smaller filly. “Just...Just a hug. So I can share in your warmth...” An innocuous request. Oasis smiled, opening his forelegs that the small filly could come and cuddle against his fur. In the town of Murrage, though, no good deed goes unpunished. The filly rushed to the Purrsian, and as she pressed against him, he felt the cold bite of steel pressing against his belly. The small voice now took on a fierce edge, mustering every bit of threat in her body. “Now. Give me all the bits you got.” It seemed this little filly was practiced. A thief. Likely the only way she could survive in this harsh town. Unfortunately, Oasis was practiced as well. A flick of his tail brought sand into the air, and a quick beat of his wings launched it into the filly’s unprotected eyes. She yelped, dropping the small sliver of metal, and bringing her hooves up to protect her eyes. Oasis then struck, fast as a viper, and pushed the girl against his stall, hooves safely in his claws. As she struggled, he spoke calmly. “My father always taught me that if you give a filly a bit, she can eat for the day. Give the filly a chance to earn her bits, and she’ll eat for the rest of her life.” He said, letting the words sink in, before releasing the girl. Turning to his box of profits, he removed ten bits, enough for a room and a meal for the night, with a little left over, and presented them to the filly. “How would you like to earn this, at least, every day?”______________________________________________In the present, a shout, his name, snapped the Purrsian from his musings, his dreamy smile shifting, almost instinctually, to a professional one, as a young teenaged filly, with big, aquamarine eyes, came bounding towards him, wrapped in cloths that kept her cool in the day, yet warm in the night. Stopping on the other side of his stall, she gave him a big, bright smile. “Mr. Oasis, it’s done! I’ve delivered the package to Sandy Steps!” “Well done, Sapphire.” He spoke, using the name he himself had given her. Turning to his box of earnings, he removed ten bits, and happily handed them over. “Now, I have another errand for you, if you’d like...”

mlpmemes-and-mlpthings-123

jetn-deactivated20181203

Well fuck, I gotta

dappers-house

Winking Luna sounds like a hell of a drink. But is alos best Luna with her flashing eye.

Why I despise Overwatch. Wall of Text hidden for your convenience. AKA: Dapper loses the last few friends he has left.

So, another day, another group of friends lost. You think at some point I’d be used to not being allowed to be happy, but it always seems to catch me off guard. Maybe this time it’s that people I considered friends value me less than a game. A game that is objectively worse than it’s contemporaries, a game that is run by some of the worst people in the business, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, I won’t drag any names through the mud, but context here, for those who enjoy that sort of thing, is that a discord group made up of tumblr users exists, and, until last night, I was a part of it. I use that term, ‘part of it’ loosely, as I kinda existed at the fringes, due to my own natural introversion, but, I still liked being around them. We disagreed, but hey, c’est la vie, ya know?

This, however, ended after I commented, apropos of nothing, I’ll admit, of my disbelief of the blatant theft of a character from Paladins, a game which I consider superior, but only just. It wasn’t meant to start a conversation, mind, just a comment left for the sake of commenting. However, if you know the majority of Overwatch fans, this wouldn’t stand. What followed was one member of the group becoming upset that I would dare to say something unkind about Overwatch, and even more upset that I pointed out it’s objective (not subjective) flaws, such as it’s lower number of characters and game modes to other games of a similar nature, I.E. Paladins and Battleborn.

I feel I should mention here I don’t try to sway people. Like what you like, I’ll like what I like. But I will not be lied to. If you like a game, I don’t care, but don’t sit there and tell me it’s flaws don’t exist. I said as much, and even pointed out my own love of some objectively bad games, namely Anarchy Reigns.

I stepped away from Discord, closing it out so that it wouldn’t escalate, and they could cool off. As moderators were starting to show up. And I’ve lost groups of friends before because I dare not like Overwatch, and I didn’t want this to be another group. My wife, also a member of this group, told me that they had misunderstood my intentions, and thought I was getting upset and telling them not to like the game, or saying they were wrong for liking it. And also told me there was worry that my walking away was me leaving the group, which she corrected.

Time passed, and I went back into the group after an hour or so to say goodnight, and make a joke regarding another game I’ve been playing, and I’m greeted with the other party, and a third party, insulting me in the same chat the moderators said to stop the conversation, due to me not liking the game. The moderator active (though not in that conversation), and saying nothing. And so, I left. If I mean that little to these people, then I don’t want to cause trouble by being around if it’s just going to be okay to attack me due to my opinions, and facts they don’t like. This caused another breakdown for me, as, frankly, these were the last group of people that even know I exist, let alone give a damn about that fact, and once again, Overwatch has ruined that. Chalk that up for another kill Activision is responsible for in regards to my happiness. -TL;DR- Overwatch fans throw a hissy fit that I don’t like the game, don’t like my reasons, and I get warned to not start things, then insulted, and leave the last group of friends I had. ---- So, context established, the natural question is what is my beef with Overwatch. And that’s more or less the point of this rant. To have something I can simply point to when asked why I dislike Overwatch. Short and sweet: I abhor it as a game designer, and Blizzard is run by some of the worst people I’ve ever seen. To say nothing about the fan-base, which tend to almost universally be terrible, terrible, hypocritical people. A touch of backstory on me. I’ve been making games and studying them, both as a hobby, for around 13 years now, starting with RPGmaker on the PS1, and moving on from there. I’ve also given Overwatch three chances, once in Beta, once on release, and once when Sombra dropped. So, I’m speaking from experience here. Let’s start with the objective things first, since, ya know, there’s plenty of them, and they’re objective. -Point 1: Is half a game- First of all, it’s half a game, released for full price. (I know, I know, you CAN go jump through hoops to try to find the non ‘origins edition’ for 40, but even 40 USD is still too much for a single game mode and a handful of characters.) There’s no denying this as a fact, that the game simply isn’t a full game, and isn’t deserving of any higher of a price tag than 20-30 bucks at most. (Subjective note: It also didn’t feel done, and frankly, still feels like a beta that they pushed out early.) I’d also like to point out that when Titanfall 1 did this, it was rightfully lynched for being just a multiplayer game with no single player, but Blizzard does it, and it’s ok? -Point 2: Less than it’s peers- Compared to it’s contemporaries, as mentioned above, it had, and has, less content overall. I admit my numbers may be a bit off here, but, bear with me. Overwatch, at release, had 21 characters, and has since released three Free-LC characters. Battleborn, at release, had 26 characters, and has since released four paid characters, free with it’s season pass. (which, when paired with the game, ran it about 60 bucks, average game price.) Paladins is still in beta, and has 26 characters, and is still releasing more, all of which can be purchased with in game currency. -

Overwatch, at release, had three modes, though, more accurately, this was one mode, and then two modes splitting the mode into two. They have since released some variations, such as deathmatch, and an utter failure of capture the flag, as well as some event mini-games. Battleborn, at release, had three modes, and a story mode as well, and has since released another mode, and released bite sized story episodes. Paladins, while still in beta, has three modes.

The fact is, Overwatch simply has less. Does this make it a worse game? Not at all. Quality will nearly always trump quantity in these cases, however, that is a case for the subjective points later on. -Point 3: The price point- As mentioned above, Overwatch goes for around 40-60 USD, which, considering it’s been out for over a year and no drop in price, is still frankly a bit ridiculous. However, that is subjective, as Nintendo has a bad habit of doing the same thing. This, however, is NOT the end of the price. As anyone who’s seen anything about this game knows. The Lootboxes exist. And they are terrible. It’s been found recently, as of April, 2017, it would cost $3000 USD, with accounting for dupes, to get everything in Overwatch, or, if you wanted to get it all by playing, over 3500 hours. And they’re only adding more. You could argue these are all optional and cosmetic, but any game developer worth their salt will tell you cosmetics matter, and, add to it they’ve intentionally developed the game to make the cosmetics the only reason to play (I’ll cover this below), and it’s not a good argument to make. So, total price for the complete package: ~$3050 Battleborn has been hit by poor sales, thanks to Overwatch (and rumors of OW releasing early to step on BB’s release date), so the price of admission has gone down. To get in with the Season Pass, it’ll run you $45 USD. However, the season pass doesn’t include the recent skins or taunts released for cash (each around 2-3 USD.) or the new characters (each around 5 USD). However, it does net you all of the new story missions, and I think two characters. Once again, my numbers may be off. However, these are purchased, DIRECTLY, no lootboxes involved. The only lootboxes in the game are purchased with in-game currency earned by playing the game. Total price for complete package: ~$80 Paladins is a free to play game, so, yeah, it’s going to get hit hard with the after-market fees. However, Hi-Rez has always been good about this, and offers a ‘founders pack’ which includes every character they’ve ever made and ever will make for 30 USD. However, as I feared, they’ve taken inspiration from Blizzard with Lootboxes, so this is a bit harder to count, as the dupes from Paladins lootboxes can only be used to effect gameplay, by purchasing their cards for their card system. They also give out 3 free lootboxes a day, so.. Total Price for complete package: Unknown.

So, while it possibly beats out Paladins (though this is unknown.), it is a far FAR cry from being a good value, or beating out Battleborn. ---Point 4: Story and Lore--- I’m not going to talk about quality here, I’ll cover that later, all I’m talking about here is the quantity thereof. Overwatch has very, VERY sparse story. Limited entirely to it’s opening cutscene, which gives us very vauge knowledge of what’s going on, and why. Add to that the knowledge the game is non-canon, means it’s all bunk. ‘But Dapper’ I hear you say ‘there’s tons of cinematic and comics and lore online’ Yes. Online. Out of the game. I remind you how badly Destiny was roasted for the same thing with it’s Grimoire, and again, rightfully so. And at least all of that was included out of the gate, and in a single location. I do NOT count anything out of the game.

Conversely, Battleborn has a great emphasis on story, with detailed backstories for every character, talking about their relationships with one another, moments of their past and items they cherish, and how they fit into the story, not to mention the plot itself, which spans 8 chapters (and a prologue), and has a major focus on it. Not to mention with NPCs and enemies being given unique characteristics and personalities.

Paladins, once again, is about equal with Overwatch, even a bit worse, as, to my knowledge (I’ve accidentally deleted the files to the game, so I can’t check) it doesn’t even bother with the barest story at all.

---Point 5: Production values/intros.---- Overwatch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=my_xYR_egvQ A bust shot of a character talking, while occasionally flashing still images. Battleborn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sai7jPmYg5k An animated intro detailing the plot, before a music video that leads directly into the game. Need I say more?

---Point 6: The Skinner box---

Here’s where I start getting a little more controversial. I should preface this by saying I am well aware most games, especially RPGs and ESPECIALLY MMOs live and die off the Skinner box. It’s tried and true, and it works. I play FFXIV for gods sake. That’s not my problem with Overwatch. My problem is there’s nothing else. For those who don’t know, I won’t get TOO deep into it, but the Skinner Box, as it applies here, is a very simple method of reinforcement, basically, rewarding the player in some arbitrary manner every so often, while spacing the rewards out to keep the player interested. I know I’m grossly oversimplifying it, but that’s the gist of it. Google it if you want more. As an example: Every time you level up in an RPG, you get a happy noise, maybe some visual reinforcement, and you feel happy. If they do that to much, you get used to the happiness, and you lose interest in the leveling up. Too little, and you don’t keep the happiness long enough to get the next level.

This should sound familiar if you’ve ever played Overwatch, as it’s the entire design of the game. It’s a blatent, unabashed skinner box. Every hour or so (depending on play), you get a level up, a flash of color and sound, and a lootbox, which has even MORE color and sound. This conditions the player to associate the lootbox, rather than the level, with the feeling of joy. But, what if you don’t want to wait that hour for another hit of dopamine? Well, you can just pay money to get another one RIGHT NOW! It’s gross as a concept, and is a big reason of why I despise the game.

---Point 7: The impact.--- This is admittedly much more...I don’t know, not subjective, but also much less objective. The fact of the matter is, I love this industry, but it is an industry based on cash, and voting with ones wallet. And what is Overwatch showing this industry? It’s showing that people will pay huge sums of money for pulls on a virtual slot machine to MAYBE win a cosmetic skin. That people will pay full price for a game without a single-player, and with no story. This has already begun effecting the game industry, as we have already begun to see games that you pay full price to buy into, but then still have micro-transactions. And I don’t mean to the effect of DLC. We, and by we I mean the gamers who bought Overwatch, and continue to buy Loot Boxes, are showing the industry that we will accept free to play practices in our full price games. THAT is not a message I want to send. Of course, I have subjective points too, but they are, well, subjective. -Sub 1: Every OW character is a rip-off, cliche, or both.--- To my knowledge, OW has done not a damn thing original. They either will strait rip off outside sources for characters (Winston is just Beast from Xmen)or move-sets (Mei is literally Ymir with a ranged ult) or they will just make generic cut outs. Mcree is ‘the Cowboy’. D.va is ‘The Gamer.’ etc. Nothing of substance there at all. --Sub 2: Acti-Blizzard is openly hostile to it’s fans.-- We all love a good roasting from a company don’t we? Hell, Wendy’s has begun making a name for itself just from that. However, there’s Wendy’s making fun of people making fun of them, and there’s Blizzard insulting players for pointing out their Match making is broken. They’re default reaction to ‘why am I placed with bad players.’ is “well, we place you with what your skill is.” Out and out insulting players if they complain they’re placed with people who they feel aren’t equal to them in skill, as well as the players they’re referring to. This, of course, isn’t even counting how they treat the WoW fanbase. I’m aware that’s a different game, but it’s the same company. Reminder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wrw3c2NjeE --Sub 3: HOW CAN YOU FAIL MAKING CAPTURE THE FLAG-- I mean..really. Even children know how to play CtF. I’ve ranted more than enough, and I’ve got other reasons to hate this game, but you may notice one thing I don’t talk about. The Gameplay. In a vacuum, I’d have no problem with Overwatch, It’s gameplay is average. Mediocre. It fills the space without being too offensively bad. But we don’t live in a vacuum, my friends. There’s more to Overwatch than just it’s gameplay. Hopefully this gives a basic idea of where I’m coming from, even though I’ve written entirely too much here. I come from a place of love. Not love for Overwatch or Blizzard, and definitely not for activison, But love for gaming in general. Love for this medium that has such potential to show us new places, give us new experiences, and tell us new tales. Love for the crazy, messed up bunch of folks that call this ‘hobby’ a lifestyle, and all the friendships and relationships that can come from it. A love I don’t want ruined by excessive greed and sloth.

#Modpost #Overwatch #Rant #Hatred #Games #Wall o text

rp-meme-glaceon

Peer into my muse's memories

❤️- A happy memory that makes them smile

💙- A sad memory that makes them cry

💛- A memory that makes them feel angry

💚- A memory that makes them feel guilty

💜- A memory about one of their loved ones, happy or sad

💔- A memory that leaves them feeling lonely

❣- A memory that leaves them laughing

💕- A memory about their significant other

💞- A memory about their children

💓- A memory about their friends

💗- A memory about a good deed they did

💖- A memory that made them feel special

💝- A memory that made them feel loved

💘- A memory that gets their heart pounding

💟- Wildcard!!!

dappers-house

Just remember to tell me which character!

Zeal and Rosalia (kid meme)

Name: Enchanted Rose

Gender: Female

General appearance: A white/gold Alicorn, taking more from her fathers original form, mixing with a bright blonde mane. Red eyes, as she didn’t escape either of her parents corruption. Has a human form in other worlds to match her mother, where she keeps her wings and horn, though gains very fair skin.

Personality: Insatiable curiosity, with a cruel streak a mile long, yet still very kind hearted. She tries her best to be nice, and resist her inner cruelty, but sometimes it slips through.

Special Talents: Very, VERY intelligent, with a particular aptitude towards healing magic.

Who they like better: Rosalia

Who they take after more: Neither (A bit of both)

Personal headcanon: Travels the worlds with Rosalia, and views her father as a mystery, never really knowing too much about him, due to him still being locked up. Thornara adores the tyke, and seeks to corrupt her and encourage her cruelty.

Face Claim:

adorably-unaware

If They Had A Kid... (Meme)

Send me a pairing and I’ll fill this out with what their kid would be like!

Name:

Gender:

General appearance:

Personality:

Special Talents:

Who they like better:

Who they take after more:

Personal headcanon:

Face Claim:

supergalacticsoldier-deactivate

//I’m gonna be a copycat, Marcia-mun, and draw out the kids too.

cloudhoppinggriffon

A Two-Faced Mercantile

cloudhoppinggriffon

dappers-house:

Oasis’ eye nearly shined, seeing a crowd beginning to gather. The sphinx puffed out his chest, the gold lined silks and jewels catching the desert sun. Truly, the merchant prince was at his best here. Let others bask in the bath-houses, or waste their coin in the taverns. Oasis needed neither of those (though he’d never turn down a good soak.). This was his time.

“I see that I have caught my fair share of eagle eye’d guests!” He crowed, his body all sweeping motions that the cloth that he wore accentuated with flourishing colors. “Those with a mind for quality and substance, much more than certain other stalls. Of course, you’ll only find the best at any stand with a Redpaw behind it.” Quickly, he began to deal with those who had gathered, before Gordon caught his eye.

“And you! What can I possibly do for a Griffon of your stature? Wingblades perhaps? A gilded chest for your immeasurable wealth?”

“Well.. The latter I’m not in need of. The former? Tempting, but only if they’re for show.” The thought made the griffon smile, if not for a brief moment. But alas, Gordon had been amazed at exactly how sharp tongued this Oasis was. Adding that sphinxes often had that foreign charm, the fellow feline knew how to work them well. However, this newer griffon - clad too in the gold and silk in the desert sun - was quite choosy with his products. “..I was curious about that recipe you mentioned earlier.” Gordon pointed out, sitting on his haunches.

dappers-house

The thought of a strong looking male, such as the one before him, being interested in baking actually caught the fast talking sphinx by surprise. But only for a moment. Just as fast, he was back to work, his charming smile gracing his muzzle.

“Well, nothing impresses like a multi-talented hero.” As he spoke, his paws moved under the stand, producing a sealed envelope. “Placed in an envelope to keep from prying eyes, this recipe for the princesses own favorite Cloud Cake found it’s way to my paws through a chef who left the princesses service. Guaranteed to be delicious enough to buy your way into the royal kitchen!” While he spoke the truth, as he always would, as usual, he left part of the truth out. That the recipe was, in truth, just a common recipe for an average cake. While it was one that the princess favored, and even from the royal kitchen, it could be found in any cookbook.

cloudhoppinggriffon

A Two-Faced Mercantile

dappers-house

Ah, the market. Truly, the young sphinx couldn’t imagine anything better. The hustle and the bustle of many races moving about in a beautiful machine of efficiency. The market was always moving, and always welcomed everyone, and everything. An ever evolving beast. And at the head, the teeth of this beast, so to speak, were folks like him. The merchants.

His family had trained him well, teaching him the ways of the silver tongue, and Oasis, only child of his family, one well known for their trade empire, spreading all over Equestria, intended to reap every benefit that came with that, be it mare or coin.

Winning smile on his muzzle, the Sphinx began his daily routine.

“Come one, come call, come see wares gathered from all over the world! Today, I’ve a shard of Bloodstone, the same as the staff made to control dragons! I’ve a replica of the Idol of Boreas, strait from Griffonstone, even a cake recipe from the royal kitchen itself!”

cloudhoppinggriffon

Gordon too admired market places, in his own little fashion. While not a savvy shopper, the griffon still found fun to see the many races go to and fro on their daily runs either making a bargain, or perhaps buying the necessaries of a day to day life. The market trade was a beast, but today was not a day where he himself would be claimed a victim of it’s teeth. Here the silk clad griffon drifted, perusing from stall to stall to see what deals would be found. Just a few shy tiles down, Gordon passed by a silver trading mare - calling out her prices just as loud as the others. But lo and behold, curiosity brought him to the stall of Oasis’ own, lured in by the last tidbit of his offers. A recipe straight out of the royal kitchen itself? It seemed impossible. And yet? Possible, according to the trader.

dappers-house

“And you! What can I possibly do for a Griffon of your stature? Wingblades perhaps? A gilded chest for your immeasurable wealth?”

sanguinestar-deactivated2018101

Send a "♪" for the Muse to sing part of a song the Mun has recently listened to.

dappers-house

Please include which muse.

cutelittlerpmemes

Send “I didn’t know you could cook.” to know what my muse is cooking up

Alternatively send “You’ve never seen me cook before?” for your muse to be cooking

Originally posted by boomsexwalrus

invademyinbox

Send me any of the following for Munday

[▣] one random fact about the mun [▤] one way the mun is like the muse [▥] one way the mun is nothing like the muse [▦] one of the mun’s guilty pleasures [▩] one thing the mun loves about themselves [◘] the muns morning ritual [◙] the muns bedtime ritual [◈] one of the muns favorite songs – and lyrics from it [◇] one of the muns favorite movies – and a quote from it [◆] one of the muns favorite books – and a quote from it

asksforroleplayers

What warning label would you put on my muse?

dappers-house

Whichever one you guys choose

dappers-house

Discord glared at Chrysalis. "As if you've a right to complain about losing those you care for most. Why, you're lucky I haven't ripped your reality apart, thread by thread. It would be as easy as plucking at strings with scissors."

“Oh yes, how dare I take one pony and keep her warm and safe, nestled in a cocoon of draining slime, surrounded by guards, protecting her, and all that wrapped in a dome of magic absorption? I even gave you a whole room full of Fluttershys to enjoy. And what do I get?”

“My home destroyed by my very children! Isolation! Starvation! THAT IS MY THANKS FOR ALL I’VE DONE FOR THEM!”

Chrysalis sighs.“I wouldn’t expect you to understand. You only have one friend. You’ve never had any you’ve cared for since their birth.”

cordy-cordy-chaos-lordy

“Then what does one call an awkward young male Draconequus?” She chuckled, a sly smirk on her face. “I’m sure in your youth you were quite the stutterer. I can just picture you, in some tacky purple or orange number, flowers in claw, blush on your face.”

Feeling the familial love rising in his chest, Chrysalis’ teeth clenched, biting back a hiss, even as her eyes locked on him.

“W-We…I… can eat pony food. But…But it won’t do anything for me. Like a pony eating…well, paper. Love keeps me alive, yes. Any kind. Romantic, Familial…platonic…”

“Oh, please,” Discord said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll admit I wasn’t as brilliant back in my ‘awkward years’ as I am now, but trust me, that was just nature and biology at work and not through any choice of my own. I never gave Celestia flowers nor did I present myself in such a pitiable manner. I fancied her slightly, but trust me, those silly little feelings were extinguished quite quickly.” He glanced at her. “Though I do enjoy tacky purple and orange numbers. I daresay I make them work.”

He stepped back at the hiss, now looking slightly alarmed. As powerful and arrogant as he could be, even he could get scared.

“What about self-love?” Discord asked, finally able to say it. “That’s certainly what’s kept me sustained for all this time. Love yourself, feed yourself, that’s what I always say, ehehehe…” He gulped. “Do you have to actually hurt anyone to get any of it?”

dappers-house

“Interesting…you and Celestia?” Chrysalis chewed on this information for a moment, rubbing her chin, picturing it. Despite his words, she couldn’t help but picture Discord, smaller, skinnier, and with some pony-like acne, standing before a smaller Celestia with braces. With that, she couldn’t help but start cracking up about that.

Seeing him step back, and hearing his question, her eyes lit up, hope blossoming in her chest. She stepped forwards. “It’d…work. But it tastes awful. Like rotten fruit. It’s something I CAN eat, but shouldn’t. But..hurting somepony?” She barked a laugh. “Ask Twilight how Shining Armor is doing. And I fed on him…more than I should have..”

cordy-cordy-chaos-lordy

Discord just groaned.

“Whatever you’re picturing, it isn’t accurate. And there was no me AND Celestia. Just me looking at her face and liking what I saw. Though, okay, I’ll admit, she smelled nice. And she was nicer to me than anypony else had ever been before. And she walked in such a way that I tended to lose attention whenever she walked by. You know, your basic deluded crush that lowers one’s IQ to much lower than it normally is. Especially mine.”

He was at war with himself. She had ponynapped his friends, his best friend! She had made him walk on his feet until his body ached, only for him to trip and be harassed with the codeword ‘klutzy Draconequus’. She had made him put up with Trixie, had tortured him with dozens of fake Fluttershy’s, and had abducted him as well after making him faint from overwhelming panic. She had made him look like a fool.

He did not like her. She was not his friend. He was still horribly angry every time he thought about what she had done to him, to his friends.

But…

But he knew all too well what it was like to starve. What it was like to have nopony willing to help you when you meant no harm. What it was like to be alone and…maybe even a little miserable. Or a lot miserable.

She won’t attack me now; she’s too vulnerable, and I’m too powerful, and there’s no magic barrier anymore. Fluttershy and the others are gone. Nopony but the two of us.

“So…If I, perhaps, challenged you to prove to me that I felt something more than care for my friends because I didn’t believe you, and the only way to do that was for you to suck some of those feelings out, I wouldn’t explode? Dissipate into the wind? Suddenly feel nothing but hate for my fellow compadres? Lose any vital limbs and/or organs? Lose my magic or physical abilities, no permanent side-effects?”

dappers-house

Chrysalis’ eyes locked on Discord, a faint, almost manic, hunger lurking in them as her mind processed the events, emotions, and words. The confusion and the...ugh...pity... presumably for her. Still, while Chrysalis was a Queen, she was not, and had never been, the type to put pride over reason. Or survival. She bit back a hungry hiss, but stepped forward, her tongue sneaking out to lick at her lips hungrily.

“You’d be fine. It all depends on how much I drained. And it would do damage to you, not your feelings. First you’d feel...tired...Like you’d spent all day dealing with difficult ponies, emotionally drained, you understand. Then, if I drained more, you’d feel emotionally dead, just...empty. Further, you’d feel hopeless, less than nothing, like you’d lost the will to even live...Most ponies would die by that point. I don’t know what’d happen to you.” Realizing she’d been prowling closer as she said it, she shook her head once, a violent shake to bring control back to herself. “B-But, I wouldn’t drain that much. Just enough to get by, to survive. Maybe I can find some Changelings that escaped and rebuild, or attack and drain that fool Starlight..” Her voice slowly grew more manic and desperate, despite herself.

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