A Man of Poor Taste

Judas - 34 - he/him

[darcania]

My aunt's chihuahua is the sweetest lil old man you'll ever meet

But this is also him for some unholy godless reason:

[darcania]

He might be part jackal actually, but I have no proof

[darcania]

My aunt's chihuahua is the sweetest lil old man you'll ever meet

But this is also him for some unholy godless reason:

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[jellyfish-confetti]

I listened to the Magnus Archives

Im very normal about this media

[codes-and-stuffs]

i do think we should normalise being like. platonically enamoured with someone. perhaps i love and admire you dearly and there's nothing romantic about it

[darcania]

Just over here doin' dumbass shit to my windows

[kosmogrl]

oooh I get it it’s always gonna be because of the environment I grew up in

[aceofpans]

it’s because of the curse

[troublepunk-ldn]

me as a teenager: man it sucks to have no privacy or autonomy but i guess its for a good reason. when i turn 18 i will realise how young i was and understand why they did all that.

me as an adult: teenagers are an oppressed class, their abuse is normalised and systemic and they need to start killing people

[draconym]

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

[thegrindingwheel]

So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.

[draconym]

Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs

[daily-spooky]

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[hairspraywhore]

>no idea what a tumblr accent even is

>”oozes off of me like a thick miasma”

[psych-is-the-name]

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

[darcania]

My auntie always hits up Panera Bread but hates the baguettes, so she always gives them to me and I cut them in half n' turn that shi into poor man's pizza

[zangoonse]

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

[existennialmemes]

Not to sound like a decrepit, rambling corpse about it, but back in my day Word used to be a pre installed program that came with your computer, if you were running Windows.

No subscription. Just program.

On your computer. You got to use it forever and ever and never had to worry about it going away.

Because it was physically on your computer. As a program. That you actually owned. Not because you got it separately, but because it was a standard inclusion with your computer.

I'm sorry but I'll just never get over it. I remember when companies cared about their products being usable out of the box. I remember when our things belonged to us.

Old man shaking fist at cloud, wherein the cloud is the background of the Windows 98 logo.

[darcania]

Finding fragments of my Titanic costume brings my heart just bc it's historically accurate now

[darcania]

I didn't need a new lil obsession, but here I am

Look at my little lad, he's precious

[cyberglittter]

hair by nikki nelms & photography by adrienne raquel