&& NATASHA ;;
COWARD. she hears it in his words, feels the JUDGEMENT tickle her skin. coward; you ran from everything, you left everything behind—-i can’t be like YOU.
and it’s VENOM, widow’s curse && she’s shaking at his feet, so gone and empty and AFRAID. ( please please please. i don’t want to lose YOU, too. a prayer left unanswered by any god to listen and MOTHERLAND, awaken from her slumber by the tears of her child GRINS, triumphant. coward. traitor. liar, killer, deserter, those you love will chew at your flesh until you’re BONES, until you’re DUST )
’ IF THAT’S what you think of me, MATT–
but she stops. fingers curl, nails dig into her palms until she’s BLEEDING, red, red, red.
’ and then WHAT? you save kristen, or you don’t save her, you kill fisk or you don’t kill him, you die or live, NO MATTER WHAT you do, matthew, no matter how hard you try, the morning brings another tragedy and you’ll hate yourself so much more at night. but RIGHT, fine, i ran away with my pet when i should have stood and KILLED and suffered with no means to right what’s wrong.
laughter, regardless of her state, escapes parted lips. she stands, shaky, wiped at her eyes and turns.
’ but you ENJOY this, the game. i’m not going to tell you what to do, i am not in the position to and my point of view doesn’t MATTER; good luck.
words cut deeper than any knife. Every coma is like a hammer on his chest because h knows she’s right. SHE IS RIGHT. No matter what he does, it always go back to the same circle of events && in the end, he is always left alone. Karen, Elektra, Mary, Kirsten - Natasha. Even his mother left him, now Foggy did too.
he could kill Fisk. Wrap his hands on that fat neck && squeeze until he felt breath leave and not come back, but... but if killing Bullseye ( Foggy isn’t here anymore to say it’s not his fault ) didn’t free his soul of all guilty, ending Wilson will make things WORSE.
maybe, like she said, he enjoyed the game. the eternal fight - Good && Evil. He stays where he is, but the mask of indifference crumbles easily ( she knows how to play with his ‘Good Catholic Boy’ guilt, but it doesn’t help when SHE IS RIGHT ).
The staccato of her heels echoes and he motions to grab her but STOP. She’s not the coward, HE IS.
‘ Natasha --
But what is he going to say?? Start with the truth, Matthew.
‘ I need YOU. Maybe I do enjoy this - this flagelation, but I AM ALONE, Nat. I’d give everything I have - I am willing to give everything I have to Fisk - just to go with you and sail the whole world. But they need me one LAST time.
