the blood on my hands it scares me to death

every now and again we get that feeling and that great big voice inside us opens up and i really wish that you could help but my head is like a carousel and i'm going round in circles i'm going around in circles

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate grinned, laughing as he handed Levi a beer and pushed his hair from his face, before nodding rather enthusiastically, “Yeah, just a little.” He agreed, popping the cap on his beer and downing a large gulp from the bottle. “I’m sure, for now we have the dog.” 

Levi grinned, “You’re very cute” He gave Nate a teasing wink before taking a drink of his beer. “Is the dog going to be like our test drive to children?” He chuckled softly before moving to walk out of the kitchen. “At least your dog approves of me. Be awkward if it didn’t.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

“Cows and llamas are great too,” He rolled his eyes, laughing quietly as he pulled his shirt over his head and moved towards the fridge, pulling out two bottles of beer, somewhat frowning when Levi decided to do the same, though he could hardly object. “I get that, but you can kill them. I guess you could kill a kid too, it’s just – more likely that a kid would probably outlive you and then you wouldn’t have to be sad about their death.”

Levi couldn’t help but chuckle softly as he followed Nate towards the fridge, “You’re cute, you know that? Either way, I think we’re a long ways away from discussing possible children or farms. Although I’d realy like a far.” Levi grinned and shrugged his shoulders, “We’ll figure it out eventually.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate shrugged, “Would I rather be thrown up on and change diapers for a few years or get up super early every day and tend to shitty stables and potentially have to watch animals I love and care for die for whatever reason – yes.” He laughed, shrugging once again, “I don’t know, I hate kids, they’re the worst but my nephew’s quite okay now, and I know he’s older but you know. I don’t really think I’ve thought about looking after anyone else other than me, that’s stressful enough.” He grinned widely, before offering some thought, “I do love chickens, they’re pretty funny.”

Levi blinked at Nate, “But you didn’t say anything about the cows and llamas.” He knew that wasn’t the point of their conversation but it was the only thing Levi was focusing on at the moment. He moved to stretch before he reached to grab his shirt. “I don’t know. I’ve never really seen myself as the dad type. No point in screwing someone else up. I don’t think you can really scew up a cow or a chicken.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate laughed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know about a farm, kids are less responsibility.” The male teased, finally returning to his prior spot beside Levi and rising with the intention of getting dressed once agaim, “Yeah, well, technology is shit.” He huffed, pulling his pants up and fastening the button before stretching with his arms above his head.

Levi cocked his head to the side, “So, you’d rather change diapers and be thrown up on?” He shifted from his spot on the couch and moved to grab his pants to put them back on. “But think about all the cows that need homes and llamas and chickens.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate rolled his eyes, his hands slipping up over his arms, simply enjoying the closeness of the pair. “Fuck,” Was his word of agreemenr, “I don’t want to raise it, but I want to take credit – can we make that happen?”

Levi couldn’t help but laugh at Nate’s reaction, “I don’t want to raise it either. I’d rather have a farm.” Levi had never been big on the idea of having children. “I don’t know if the world is that technologically advanced, babe.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate stuck out his lower lip, it was true, he did just like marking him, it was partly a territorial thing, but mostly because he just looked so hot with his bite marks on his neck or his fingerprint’s on his body, “I like how it looks,” He finally offered, running his fingers over the still reddening marks on his chest, “I like how you look…”

“I know I’m hot.” Levi gave a teasing grin as he settled for wrapping his arms around Nate. “I mean if you think about: I’m hot. Youre hot. If we were able to procreate we’d probably make some pretty hot babies with weird looking eyes.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

The hum that rumbled from Levi’s lips coaxed a gasp of appreciation from Nate’s own, which was followed quickly by a groan as the man’s teeth buried themselves in his neck, “Fuck,” He growled, looking over him with a grin in place, “Yes, you will. How else will people know that you’re mine? I mean I could always bury every person that breathes by you but we work in a bar and tips are important, so…”

Levi chuckled softly as he looked back and kept his eyes on Nate. “I think just telling people that I’m your boyfriend makes that fact pretty clear but I think you have a thing for marking me, regardless. Not that I’m complaining.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate grinned, tilting his head back slightly, revelling in the feeling of Levi’s lips grazing over his skin. “If you never wore a shirt we’d never leave the bedroom, or the… couch.” He laughed, biting his lower lip as he forcefully scratched down the male’s chest, leaving deep red lines down his torso. “Just like to make sure you remember the moment whenever you look in the mirror.”

Levi let out a light hiss against Nate’s skin as his body seemed to arch towards his nails versus flinching away.  “Mmm,” he hummed before allowing his teeth to bite into Nate’s shoulder, “Trust me I do.” He pulled back a little so he could look at Nate, “Something tells me I’ll have more bruises before the other ones can heal.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

He hissed quietly as Levi tugged on his lower lip, something of which set his whole frame to tense as his hands trailed over the man’s torso, taking in ever defined muscle before settling on his shoulders, nails digging into the flesh. “I like that,” He hummed, he liked being a first something for Levi, he liked Levi – more than he realised.

Levi pressed his lips together once again when Nate decided to dig his nails into his shoulders, "Me too.” He gave Nate a soft smile before brushing his lips over the man’s jawline. “Probably a good thing I don’t walk around town shirtless. People might raise a few eyebrows.” 

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate sighed softly too, frowning but barely for long enough as he spotted the smile creeping up on Levi’s face, “And my first relationship since I got here.” He added playfully, his hips resuming their involuntary movements against him, “And my first ever boyfriend – a lot of firsts for me.” The male breathed, continuing his way back up Levi’s throat, over his jaw and back to his lips once more.

Levi pressed his lips together as his head tilted slightly back, his hands moving to grip Nate’s hips again. Once their lips met, his hand moved to trail up the other man’s back. “Never dated a guy before either,” Levi mumbled before lightly tugging on Nate’s bottom lip.

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate frowned, cupping Levi’s jaw once again, no humour touching his features, despite the obvious intent of a light hearted response from the man, “But it’d bother me – so it probably bothers you.” The breathed, opting for running a trail of kisses along his jaw and neck, “You’re the best I’ve ever had, if it’s any consolation – in both genders.”

Levi let out a light sigh, “But it’s still none of my business.”  He couldn’t say it didn’t bother him because it did. Levi just had more practice at keeping his own jealousy in check. A slight smile tugged at his lips, “Yeah? Well, you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, I don’t get it either.” The male chuckled, although of course there was the temper issue, but Nate shared that and he didn’t think anybody was scared of him until he gave them a reason to be. Nathan’s lips parted, eyebrows threading into one another “Oh – I didn’t know you knew that.” He bit his lower lip, suddenly feeling more so awkward than anything else sat in his lap, “I thought it’d be best to double check that I liked men before I fucked you,” It was twisted logic, but Graham was attractive and he’d been too easy to flirt with, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Levi cocked his head to the side, “That’s kind of sweet. I guess I can forgive sleeping with the enemy.” He gave a shrug of his shoulders, “Who you slept with isn’t any of my business.” Did it bother him a little bit? Maybe but he wasn’t going to make it a big deal.

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

He frowned once again, before chuckling softly, “It is true, you just scare people at the same time. You don’t scare me, I trust you, always have but – you being scary, would only make me want you more, so imagine all those poor people that are now missing out because I decided to stop being a cock.” Nate genuinely offered it some thought, a smug smile creeping up on his features, “Besides, as disgusting as it is, I have slept with pretty much every girl of suitable age, and one not so suitable because older, so there’s no one left to be jealous.”

Levi gave a slight roll of his eyes, “I don’t even know why people are scared of me. Is it because I’m tall?” Granted, Levi had a bit of a temper especially during his teen years but he thought he had mellowed out a bit going into adulthood. He scrunched his face up, “You also apparently banged Graham. Which I’m very disappointed about by the way.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Nate grinned widely, and proudly towards the over the top post he displayed, throwing his phone onto the sofa beside them as he resumed his prior tickling of Levi’s shoulders. Eyebrows knitted into one another, “Of course it will – it’s you.”

Levi shifted his shoulders although it was an involuntary reaction to whatever it was that Nate was doing. “It is not going to make people jealous just because it’s me. You’re bias. You probably think I’m the hottest guy in this town which isn’t true, I might add.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

His breath hitched in his throat as Levi’s hands rested against his hips, amused to say the least and simultaneously hungry for more of him. Offering some thought to it, he paused for a moment before reaching over to find his phone, within a few short moments, he flipped it around to Levi. Sure enough, he posted the first picture he could find of the two of them onto instagram, with “bae” captioned at the bottom, paired with multiple heart eye and kiss emojis, “Good enough?” He grinned playfully.

Levi offered a curious raise of his brow when Nate began to search for his phone but it all began obvious when he flipped the phone for him to see. “Oh wow,” he said with an amused grin as he took the phone in his hands to observe the picture Nate posted. “We really are going to be like one of those couples aren’t we? You know, this might make people jealous.” He chuckled softly before handing the phone back to him.

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

Reassured slightly by the words, Nate nodded and hummed in response, threading his fingers through Levi’s hair over and over, his hips involuntarily rocking every once in a while. “So is this the part where I start referring to you as bae and postibg doggy filtered selfies of us together?” Nate teased, hoping to lighten the mood after the two had remained blissfully content in their silence for a few minutes.

Levi pressed his lips together as his hands moved down to grip Nate’s hips but it wasn’t to stop his movement. He squinted his eyes in a mock gesture of thought before he shrugged his shoulders, “I think that’s what most couples do now a day so yeah.” He chuckled softly to himself before he leaned in to brush his lips against Nate’s, “I think this is where we change our statuses on facebook and make detailed posts about our relationship too.”

[daretolevi]

thecrimsvn:

He couldn’t help but smile in response to the words, chuckling when he burst into poetry, remaining contently in his lap as his hands moved down Levi’s neck to his shoulders, tracing invisible patterns against the exposed flesh. Cocking his head to the side, he held Levi’s gaze, his smile growing larger with each compliment, a faint blush tainting his cheeks. Above all, his friendship with Levi had always held importance, despite what he went through, despite the whispers from the townspeople, the gossip, the disapproving stares – he’d never paid attention, in his eyes, Levi was always a good person and even when he wasn’t, Nate still doted on him. “I would never leave you,” He murmured honestly, emotions were not his strong suit but he couldn’t deny that he had certainly possessed some feelings for his best friend that had gone unnoticed. “You’re my best friend. It’s me and you, always.” It was cheesy, at best, but the truth and in all the statements he’d offered Levi tonight, that was the one of which he was most confident. “I’m sorry I hurt you…”

Levi almost grinned when he saw the faint redness reach Nate’s cheeks and he couldn’t help but lift one of his hands to cup his face, his thumb brushing against his skin. “Me and you. Always,” Levi echoed in a quiet tone. “You don’t have to be sorry for that, Nate. It happens.” He wasn’t mad at him about it or even bitter. In reality, Levi couldn’t stay mad or hurt for long when it came to Nate. The whole situation had been awkward and maybe emotions were running high for both of them. “None of that matters now anyway.”