ashes to ashes

... we will rise.

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[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

- Apartment 4B

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

whoever runs this blog is perfect don't ever change

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

Word on the street is Adam wants to peck the Armstrong woodpecker. Who do you think'll get to second base first? Adam and Nick or Adam and Jake?

I am so sick of all this nonsense. This is a blog for serious content and serious suggestions. Now stop with all this tomfoolery, because I need to make an exact cat-sized replica of the boat in Titanic, the major motion picture, for my Ferguson cinema-themed calendar. 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

Looks like Adam bought out hot topic before he arrived here

Adam should check out this new place called therapy. Why all the black, man? There’s a whole rainbow out there. 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

caroline smells like ranky old fish

Girl, Downy Unstoppables. They have a long lasting freshness. Check ‘em out, isle nine.

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See any up and coming relationships in dd, bish? Who's the next brangelina?

We got sparks flying in-between a couple people here in the DD, and I’m so glad you asked me, anon. Winnie the Bish is a sexual tension expert, I just sense it. I can see something brewing between Isaac and Allison, whether that’s the coffee she serves or hormones, I don’t know. And that hunter guy, Sam, he seems to have set his scopes on Lexi -- yo, Winchester, let me know if blondes really do have more fun. 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

Winnie, who's your top five hottest chicks and dicks?

I could say we’re all beautiful inside, but I ain’t gonna lie, Winnie got a thing for a couple different people here in the City of Darkness. And considering most of you were toddlers when I got my first license, I’m going purely by the pleasing aesthetics of facial symmetry. 

Ladies:

Diana Meade

Faye Chamberlain

Max Read 

Lydia Martin

Davina Claire

Guys:

Elijah Mikaelson

Scott McCall

Dean Winchester 

Tyler Lockwood

Seth Gecko 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

- Apartment 4B

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

Damon should never kiss anyone. It's gross.

Damon, 

Stop kissing alive girls. 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

- Apartment 4B

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

who wore it better: beast mode addition. Marcel or Tyler?

Fur hasn’t been in since the mid-2000s. I’ve been telling y’all to watch America’s Next Top Model, and you just don’t listen. Don’t come to me with stupid question during Winston time. 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

lexi and sam? what's up with that?

It’s a classic story of girl meets boy and boy wants to do girl, but girl either doesn’t care or doesn’t notice. 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

wonder if damon made elena's romances shift another way. she's pretty close with those ladies

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

diana meade? more like diana NEEDS a new boy toy

It’s called how to make a relationship disappear; Damon Salvatore perfected it. 

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

- Apartment 4B

[darkdimensiongossip-blog]

is it just me, or is everyone in this town related?

If so, all the sexual tension needs to be stopped. ASAP. Like for real. Y’all need to get some self-restraint and maybe a couple dirty magazines.