George had the choice to not have his female characters raped. He is a fantasy writer not a historian. He has no obligation to adhere to fake history. He could have written his story anyway he wanted, but he wanted to have Dany being molested and falling in love with their rapist...aka Drogo x Dany...that was always his choice and has nothing to do with realism.
My main reason why I can barely power through AGoT. I simply can't stomach it.
[I will refer when I talk about this topic as "it", because I truly don't want to use the words "them"/"their relationship"/"name x name" because in my eyes it would refer to something at least somewhere consentiual or positive]
Especially, because I can't deal how GRRM portraits it:
In Daenerys I |II, it's made abundantly clear that she is terrified by everything going on and what might & is about to happen to her; from Mopatis gifted luxury, Viserys & his abuse and being sold like a broodmare to a 30+ old barbaric slave owner & warlord, who doesn't speak her language nor sees her as a human being.
Khal Drogo immediatly consumes the "marriage" and I will never stop being disgusted that [apparently] GRRM once said in interviews that "Daenerys gave consent", "Drogo didn't rape her, he seduced her", "Daenerys wanted it".
@GRRM: a terrified 13 yo girl, who is sold into slavery & doesn't even understand the concept of consent, can't want sex with or give consent to a terrifying stranger, who doesn't even understand her language. 🚫! It doesn't matter that Khal Drogo didn't "mounted her like a stallion does with his mare" like he will proceed in their constellation, the first time, it's still rape.
As mentioned, it just gets worser to the point where Daenerys has suicidal thoughts, but they just magical disappeared in one night into thin air, quite literally. GRRM "solves" her mental state of mind & abused body/pain by having a "Dragon Dream", waking up simply fine with her horrible situation.
It's a writing choice that I despise for various of reasons; it brushes over abuse & normalizes it, sends the message that Daenerys simply needed to be "stronger" & endure/adapt to this situation, it's a cheap & unrealistic way of "dealing" with a character's pain, without changing the situation in the slightest. ASoIaF being a fantasy world, shouldn't give GRRM the excuse to not deal with this in a somewhat realistic & relatable way.
Anyway, GRRM even manages to top this by writing Daenerys "finding pleasure in their couplings", ask Doreah for lessons & tricks to "please" Drogo, starts finding him magnificent & etc... Here are some scenes, where I just wanted to go to therapy afterwards: x|x|x|x|x|x|x... tbh any scene they shared.
Reading these couple scenes alone, it makes me lose my mind that there is geniue "ship fanart, crafts, jokes & fanpages" about it. [Can't believe I saw posts joking how kinky Daenerys is and how blessed Jon will become...] Normally, Idgaf about what people ship and I don't judge/slander them for their preferences/"guilty pleasures", however, in this case I do!
Have we read a different story? Even if the artists have only watch the show, I still doesn't makes no sense to me! D&D didn't make it any less abusive on the show than in the books [it was literally the closest to a "adaption", they ever were and ~what a surprise~ it was a rape festival!]
Basically what I want to say: I'm disgusting with it, I'm disgusting with GRRM and I'm seriously questioning what the content creators see in it.
Because the way I see it, it seems to serve as some twisted male wishfullfilment, where the victim geniuely "loves" her abuser and is happy, despite being treated less than a human being...
And the true tragedy is that it didn't need to be this abusive! Obviously, GRRM thought Daenerys being pregnant at 14 & losing her child [& her husband] to birth her dragons is a necessity. Fine, still disturbing, but fine.
However, why couldn't GRRM make Khal Drogo less of a barbaric, raping brute & pedophile and somewhat more of a human, who at least respects, be it out of pity, his childbride a tiny bit? And doesn't rape her every night, since their wedding night? [Seriously GRRM, 9/10 male character are pedophile rapists! Is there no man in the entire universe of ASoIaF, who idk... wants to have consentiual sex with a grown woman their age?] Couldn't Khal Drogo be a little interested in her as a person? Or at least be a human by seeing Daenerys's pain during & after coitus and is appalled by her tears, stops and waits for her or tries to make it more bearable for her? Couldn't they have somewhat of a personal longer conversation, that doesn't involve Daenerys trying to persuade Khal Drogo retaking Westeros or their child's name? Geniuely talking, not just Dany talking and Khal Drogo answering with grunts.
{It's also so rasict? The Dothraki are obvs coded as PoC [I guess based on Mongols?] why does Drogo need to be present as such a heartless brute? He is literally on top of my "worst husbands in ASoIaF"-list, together with Ramsay & Aerys.}
To make my point short; Why did GRRM felt the need to make it so appaling?
And no, the unbelievable change of Daenerys "taking more control over their sex life & having a general sexual awakening" isn't it. [Honestly, it would actually be funny, that GRRM genuinely believes his crap, if it wasn't so concerning]
It also makes Khal Drogo's death so unbelievable as a price/tragedy for Daenerys to pay, but rather a deliverance [unconsciously to her] .
Moving on; besides all the other problems of {Daenerys |Khal Drogo} [e. g "her genuinely falling inlove with him"], one of the most jarring writing choices of GRRM is, while he obviously condemns Viserys & Jorah Mormont and their behavior towards Daenerys, let's her even realize it and puts them into their places. He does not with Khal Drogo. You could defends this by thinking GRRM cleverly portrays Daenerys suffering under Stockholm syndrome [she is/should] & because marital consent & rape weren't concepts back then.
However, I still find it deeply disturbing, that GRRM writes Khal Drogo as Daenerys "protector" from Viserys, that gives her more "confidence" to stop Viserys's abuse, when they are equally abusive towards her [one brutally rapes her every night, the other one sold, beats & insults her]
Not to mention that GRRM continues to romanticizes it after Khal Drogo's death by having Daenerys longing & mourning after him & his touch.
While the Daenerys!fandom calls it out for what it is and that this behavior is 1) just a reflection of how desperately Daenerys wants a family, home & security and 2) Daenerys is just heavily suffering under Stockholm syndrome.
While I think this is certainly true, I highly doubt that GRRM deliberately chose to portray it as her suffering from Stockholm syndrome. The way GRRM continued to write Daenerys & her relationship towards sex just reinforces my suspicion.
I have the fortune that I can't speak from experiences, but I highly doubt a 16yo rape survivor, who isn't even aware of her trauma & hasn't worked through it at all, would want to have casual sex with any man soon. [Feel free to educate me on that, cause I heavily doubt that] Daenerys has, in my eyes, a way too healthy relationship with sex, for enduring a year of rape, a forced pregnancy at 13, a miscarriage and being sexually abused by Viserys all her life & later on by Jorah Mormont.
In theory I would have no problem with Daenerys having consentiual sex with Darrio, because they are at least respectful towards each other, take & give pleasure & are personally invested in each other [e.g. Dany has a consistent crush over a longer period, nobody acted on / Darrio, while bragging about them fucking, genuinely wants her to be The Breaker of Chains, to hold court & win her war]. Yet, it I still makes me uncomfortable, simply because a) age gape b) because it's still remains a very superficiale relationship for me and c) in general I'm just sick of Daenerys, Arya & Sansa being sexuallized & forced to endure sexual "advances" to no end.
[I just want to protected them so bad & hide them away🥺😩]
A couple of reasons why I believe GRRM isn't aware that Daenerys should suffer under Stockholm syndrome repercussions is 1) he as a really flawed idea what consent is 2) has a really creepy habit of sexuallizing young girl, while all his adult men are lusting after pre-teens 3) normalizes gigantic & problematic age gape.
[Yes, I'm aware that back then, all these problematic points, were seen as normal. However, GRRM just seems to love it a bit to much, where the excuse "it'S hiSt0ricAl accUräte" doesn't fly for me anymore. Especially, because he writes 9/10 male characters devoided from any empathy & as rapists]
And last but not least, a fear of mine for why Daenerys won't be allowed to see Khal Drogo's abuse:
He doesn't let Daenerys realize Khal Drogo's abuse, stops romanticizes "their" time, let alone start resenting him for what he did to her for a very dangerous fucked up reason: because Daenerys is suppose to serve as a foil to Cersei.
Both women are forced to marry someone & endure their rapist/husband's abuse. So far, Cersei was the one, who is allowed to openly resent her husband & the men responsible for their marriage, she even plotted his murder.
However, Cersei is clearly a villian/antagonist & horrible person. While Daenerys is her foil, the "good" & capable Queen, who doesn't resent her abusive husband, no infact she misses him! Like a "good girl/woman/dowager" should.
It would of course be totally fucked up, if only the "bad mom gone mad" female character like Cersei & Lysa Arryn are allowed to rightfully resent their abusive husbands, while Daenerys isn't.
However, the most hilarious(?) thing still remains: GRRM has proved with Hizdahr & Daenerys in ADwD, that even tho these two don't want each other, are fundamental different and could likely turn out to be enemies [They kind of are already, especially if Hizdahr truly planned to murder her], that he is capable of writing arranged marriages [where the marriage is also immediately consumed] without being utterly traumatizing. And where Hizdahr is actually a character, where I would even say, that it's not just the uneven power dynamic that "forces" him to act civil & polite. I doubt he would have treated Daenerys much differently [rape or beat her] if the situation was different; remain polite while paving the way for his ruthless goals.
anyone who thinks that rahul chose anjali because she turned "feminine" missed the entire point of the film. like the whole story fkn flew over your heads,,it had nothing to do with her turning "feminine" - because otherwise he would've chosen her all the way back in college when she came dressed as tina in that pink get up. the point of the film is that he always loved anjali,,,,but he never realised it because of how close they were. all those feelings he had for her - he assumed they were friendship feelings,,,,and its only after he meets her years later that he realises that losing anjali felt a lot like losing his wife
The First Men and the Children of the Forest VS the Targs
The First Men invaded and killed the Children in the thousands.They burned down their weirwoods and literally tried to commit genocide on them.
Compare that to Aegon who did accept the Faith of Westeros and tried to adapt to Westeros culture. He did not deprive people of their homeland. All he did was unite Westeros and shed blood for it. Not any less the First Men shed to steal lands from the Native Inhabitants of Westeros.
The way I see it: the First Men, Starks and those who murdered the Children and keep the Wildlings locked away behind a Wall are the real villians not the Targs.
“Dany is gonna burn people in TWOW and it’s gonna be so tragic and horrible” honey I’m not shedding a single tear over the Great Volantis Slave Master Barbecue of 300 AC and neither should you
Dany turning slavers into crisp and Jon coming back from the dead and fucking up shit would be the only reason for me to read WoW. Maybe Arya...but I still don’t know what George plans for her.
areudirty
origamiaround
tangentwithtanner
ellievsbear
prguitarman
2087
gamechangershow
