Requests OPEN Writing pretty much every Joaquin's characters x Reader, smutt, fluff, angst Fanfiction Masterlist feel free to buy me a coffee/ tip here https://paypal.me/Darknessisafriend
I see you all are thirsty for our Emperor Commodus lately so I made a masterlist just for you ! (if you are interested by other characters here's the link of my full masterlist! )
SFW:
Let’s just stay here a little while, You are feeling down lately, thankfully, your husband Commodus is there for you.
Pampering Commodus, after a hard day the Emperor needs to relax and be pampered. Fluff
Queen or thief of my heart?, The reader is poor and is mistaken for stealing from a street vendor, and she is brought before Emperor Commodus to be killed but upon seeing her, he recognizes her as a childhood friend of his…will he save her life as a token of the past?
Periods, you have your periods for the first time with your husband Commodus, you are ashamed but he comforts you in that tough time of the month.
Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can kill you, quote challenge, Commodus is having another paranoia episode.
You should kneel to your Empress, Commodus’ Empress is mixed race and she overhears people at the palace making remarks about her and her family even though without her, they wouldn’t have trade or peaceful relations with a prominent tribe in Africa. Commodus hears it and defends her.
The virtues of an Emperor, this follows the moment when Commodus learns he won’t be Emperor, but it takes a slightly different turn, he is not alone this time.
Elysium, Commodus comforts you after one of your friends died
The light in my darkness, Commodus has always been afraid of the dark.
Sleepless Slumber, Commodus suffers insomnia
I will feed on your hate, Commodus hears people criticizing and it hurts more than expected
My never ending loyalty, male reader, preatorian’s guard love story with his emperor on the Eve of the fight against Maximus.Part 2; chapter 3 , chapter 4 , final chapter
Everything will be okay, you lost someone dear to you, Commodus is by your side to help you through grief
No one will oppose us, commodus x healer!reader, they became friends, she has been the only one caring for him, and she gets to him before he manages to kill marcus aurelius and comforts him
Tell me you are mine, Commodus x healer!reader grow together, read as they build that unique bond, and that Commodus becomes the tortured soul we know
Wait for me, you are a healer and became friends with Commodus. You have a bond and influence on the prince that none other has. When Commodus feels the urge to kill, you get to him before it is too late and comforts him
As long as you stay, Commodus saved you during the war in Germania. He named you Pax, raised you as a sister, and made you his peace in a world of fire. chapt 2
The black dog of the Palatine, what if you brought a stray dog to Commodus?
When the fever breaks, Commodus takes care of you when you are sick
The Emperor falls (on purpose), Imagine Commodus playing pretend fight with you, his wife and letting you win because he good like that
Commodus happy family moment, just a sunny day Commodus happily spends with his family (slightly implied Commodus x sibling!reader romance)
The little intruder in the Emperor’s life, Commodus meet a fan of him, a kid of the subburbs meeting their hero.
MIX OF SFW AND NSFW
The world will be ours, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, You are the heir of a kindgom conquered by Rome. To strenghen its bound to the Empire, the Emperor has made an offer your family can’t refuse… you will marry his son Commodus, but you are scared of him and he doesn’t want to marry you, but Rome is hostile to Commodus reign, what will be your role in this, will you learn to love each other?
The world will be ours Sequel, this fic follows the life of Commodus with you, you had two beautiful, children, he is finally happy and loved but then something terrible happens… Part 1, Part 2
No one will oppose us, Commodus ends up crying during sex that leads to an early end, you comfort him and take care of whatever emotions bubbled over.
Fanaticus, Imagine if Commodus became a fanboy of a gladiator in the Colosseum , he becomes obssessed until he realizes it is love. Chapter 2
Forbidden, In the shadow of an empire, love dares what Rome forbids. You are the younger daughter of Marcus Aurelius, clever, dutiful. Commodus is the future emperor, restless, adored, unraveling. As children, you were inseparable. As you grew up, you became something far more dangerous. This isn’t just a tragedy. It’s a choice.chapter 2
The laurel of madness, you are Commodus’ mad wife supporting him in his delirium, sharing passion, and violence.
The property of the Emperor, you are sent as a slave to Commodus, you didn't expect to become an obssession. part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, final chapter
Anything for Caesar NSFW, rough sex smut one shot
Commodus the whore of the Empress NSFW, Imagine a parallel universe where Commodus falls from grace, you become Empress and he becomes your bitch (part 2 on my friend’s blog Part 3 , Part 4, part 5, final chapter
The One rule, you have disobeyed Commodus and he punishes you in the best and yet worst way. NSFW
If only Rome knew how much you sacrificed for them, after the final fight against Maximus in the Colosseum, you find Commodus’ body among the corpses of those dead in the arena, he had been carelessly tossed there as if he was no one. He is alive, barely, you decide to save him. But what will happen if he survives? Will he claim back the throne? Chap 1, Chap 2, Chap 3, Chapter 4, Epilogue
You are my Empire, one shot about Commodus being a sub in your relationship, smut and fluff.
The disappointing son, Commodus falls for a slave, prisonner of war. He doesn't care about social status, all he wants his drink and perhpas more, just llike you do.
The morning after, Commodus receives a visit from you, a very dear friend. You decide to celebrate your reunion after years, alcohol is flowing, leading to unexpected events.
At your feet, always, submissive Commodus
Taming the Lion, during the day, Commodus is the untouchable Emperor, smirking and venomous as he spars with you, his sharpest adversary in the Senate Hall. But when the doors close, the roles shift. Enemies in the Senate but lovers behind closed doors...
Ashes of the Golden Son, Rome strips away the boy you once knew, leaving only a prince drowning in his father’s contempt and his own hunger. In a world that fears his temper and feeds his vices, you stay, touching him like he’s still worth saving, even as he sinks deeper into the monster Rome made him to be. chapt 2; chapt 3, chapter 4, chapter 5
Barbarus, You’re a student archaeologist on an internship in Turkey, drawn to a forgotten trail that might lead to a lost temple of Commodus. What you didn’t expect was that you landed in 182 A.D in a Roman military camp. Chapter 2 here, Chapter 3
A mutually beneficial study, you are a young senator, loyal to Commodus but with still a few things to learn. So, Commodus helps you study (or not ;))
The echo of your name, you are in a forbidden relationship with your brother Commodus. As you head to the battlefield of Germania to celebrate victory, his jealousy will be tested.
To find power in pleasure, sub!Commodus x sister!reader
I once talked about turning one of my favorite Commodus fic into a book and hopefully publish it later. Proud to say the draft of the Book 1 reached 280 pages already
It will contain of course love triangle, harem, politics, plots, war, Roman Empire AU, religion/ slight mysticism , forced proximity, arranged mariage, ennemies to lovers and lovers to ennemies , among other things
I know I mainly post Commodus fics lately but I have requests for other characters too! you are nearly 2k followers ❤️ appart from our dear Commodus, who would you like to see in the next fic ?
Abbe de Coulmier
Willie Guttierez
Joe Cross
Max California
Merrill Hess
Bobby Green
Arthur Fleck
Charlie Sisters
Napoleon
Leonard Kraditor
Joe (YwnrH)
Bruno Weiss
Voting ended onJul 18
Please leave a comment with your asnwer if you didn't have time to vote!
Tasha: Wow, this sucks. I’m gonna kill *remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health and that the first step to healing is stopping* you.
Kate: If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.
Hello i love how you write for commodus i wanted to request a fic in which the reader experiences pains during intimacy, just in general, but tries to ignore it for the sake of commodus but he noticed anyway? Thank you :)
Hey ! thank you I'm happy you enjoy my fics^^ I don't know if your request refers to you in some level but it actually resonnated with me quite a lot. I suffer from vaginismus due to trauma. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and we never managed to have full intimacy bc of it, it really sucks and ruins our relationship sometimes. Anyway, i hope you will enjoy this fic <3
As long as there is love - Commodus x reader
The Mediterranean breeze carried the scent of salt and sun through the open archways of your seaside villa. Commodus lay beside you, his dark hair tousled against the silk pillows, his fingers tracing idle patterns along your arm as you both watched the morning light dance across the waves.
"I could stay here forever." he murmured, his voice still thick with sleep. "Away from Rome, away from the Senate…" He turned to face you fully, his intense eyes soft in the morning light. "Away from everything but you. Painting the way the sun dances across your body in the morning light…"
His lips found yours in a lazy kiss that tasted of honey and wine from last night's dinner. You responded eagerly, taking a deep breath, your hands threading through his dark hair as the kiss deepened. Commodus rolled onto his side, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together, skin against skin.
"I want you." he whispered against your mouth, his hand sliding down your back to rest at the curve of your hip. "All of you…"
Your heart swelled with love and desire, but also with that familiar flicker of apprehension. You wanted this, wanted him more than anything, but your body had always betrayed you when it came to this final intimacy.
"I want you too…" you breathed, pushing aside the doubt, one hand caressing his chest. You did your best to focus on the present moment, the sensations and not your thoughts.
Commodus shifted above you, his movements unhurried and gentle as he positioned himself between your legs. His eyes never left yours, full of tenderness and patience that never failed to amaze you in a man known for his cruelty to others.
"Relax for me, my love." he murmured, his thumb stroking your cheek as he began to press forward. He captured your lips once again, a slow kiss that was meant to show you all the tenderness he had for you.
You tried…tried to breathe, tried to welcome him, tried to ignore the tightening of muscles that fought against his entry. A sharp pain shot through you as he pushed deeper, and you bit your lip to keep from crying out. Tears pricked at your eyes, and you blinked them back rapidly, hoping he wouldn't notice in the golden morning light. But Commodus froze instantly, his brow furrowing with concern.
"What is it? Am I hurting you?" He asked, panting from arousal yet still so attentive to your being.
"No." you lied quickly, eyes half closed and forcing a smile. "It's just… intense. Please don't stop."
His eyes narrowed slightly, studying your face with an intensity that made you feel exposed. He could feel how tense you were, how your muscles were clenched so tight that it was impossible for him to get in. He reached down to wipe at a tear that had escaped and now traced a path down your temple.
"You're in pain." he stated, without judgement. He began to withdraw, but you stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Please, Commodus. I want this. I want to be one with you."
He sighed heavily, rolling onto his side beside you again but keeping you in his arms. "If I wanted to cause someone pain, I would choose a senator who has displeased me, not the woman I love." His thumb gently wiped away another tear. "Your body fights against what your heart desires. I see it, even if you try to hide it from me."
"I'm sorry. I'm broken." You murmured as shame washed over you. It was a problem you were facing for too long.
"You are not broken." he corrected firmly, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. "You are perfect. And I am a selfish fool for insisting on this when it causes you pain."
Before you could protest further, he shifted down the bed, his mouth trailing kisses along your stomach, your hips, your inner thighs. His touch was reverent, worshipful, as if he were memorizing every inch of you.
"There are other ways to be one." he murmured against your skin, his breath warm and intimate. "Ways that bring only pleasure, never pain." His fingers found the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs, circling gently as you sighed in relief, his touch slowly building pleasure and desire back up again. He watched your face carefully, gauging your reactions, adjusting his touch until you were arching beneath him, all thoughts of pain forgotten. You are finally relaxing again under his touch.
"That's it…" he encouraged softly. "Let me love you. Let me show you how much I cherish every part of you." His mouth followed where his fingers had been, and you cried out not in pain but in ecstasy as his tongue worked its magic. Commodus took his time, patient and attentive, bringing you to the edge again and again until you were begging for release.
When it finally came, it was overwhelming, a wave of pleasure so intense it left you trembling and breathless. Commodus gathered you into his arms, holding you close as your heartbeat gradually returned to normal.
"I love you." he whispered into your hair. "Not for what you can give me, but simply for being you. Never forget that."
"I love you too," you murmured against his chest. "More than you know." Tears pricked at your eyes again, but this time they were tears of relief and overwhelming love.
He kissed the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. "Then we have everything we need, here in our little paradise by the sea. No matter how I make love to you as long as it is love.” he cooed tenderly, placing another protective kiss over your forehead. You were hopeful that one day your body would accept him and Commodus would not pressure you over it.
Yesterday, we *gestures at some of you Joaq hoes* talked about being horny for non-sexual scenes that sure as fuck wasn’t intended to be hot by the directors. Here’s another one that does that for me even though it shouldn’t:
“I’ll repeat. And then I’ll strike.” 🫠
“You’re not gonna like what comes next.” 🫠🫠
And that sadistic smile at the end that says: “You just chose the wrong dialogue option by saying ‘no’, bitch.” 🫠🫠🫠
You can count on me to interpret stuff in the horniest way possible. This still doesn't affect me as much as that one scene in Irrational Man (you know the one), the staircase scene in The Yards, Commodus' and Bobby's threats and violence, the intensity that the Abbé spirals into, and Bruno's uhm... behavior. But I'd be lying if I said this did not make me feel some type of way, too.
That first clip was the moment Bruno became my favorite character. Joaquin Phoenix’ raw display of guilt, self-disgust and shame in his role as Bruno Weiss is so attractive to me that it’s almost arousing. I swear I have a good reason and that I’m not just some emotional sadist. Also, further down, I’ll share a quote from a research paper that suggests that this (finding shame expressions displayed by men attractive) is common for women and very unoriginal of me.
I love all three clips and the way that guilt flickers so visibly in his eyes. I repeated the first clip with a tighter crop to emphasize that revealing shine along his lower lash line from tears threatening to spill.
The raised upper lip + deepening of the nasolabial folds + subtle nose wrinkling combo in that second clip is such a typical disgust display (Ekman et al., 2002; Ekman, 2007). I get the impression that he’s not just disgusted by what they’re saying to her. The disgust also seems self-directed because he knows he is the one who put her in this situation. Especially because it’s immediately followed by the recognizable shame expression - which is that downward head tilt and downward eye gaze (Tracy et al., 2009). There’s something almost masochistic about the way it clearly hurts him to look at her - and what he has done to her - yet during most cuts to him in this scene, besides this clip, his gaze is completely fixed on her.
In the third clip, when he turns to the side and looks over at Ewa after sealing her fate, I’m obsessed with how he clenches his jaw hard enough for the edge of his masseter muscle to be visible!!! While a jaw clench generally is associated with anger, a rapid jaw clench like this can reflect emotional states that are difficult to suppress (Hopf et al., 2026). I find the tension from his attempt at keeping his composure and staying in control of his emotions absolutely electric. He’s fighting so hard. And he’s losing.
Those deep furrows and that pained look on his forehead and brows. The visible muscle strain. The audible inhale (last second). The burdened gaze and that telltale sheen in his eyes. Ahhh! Expressions of guilt and shame are extremely attractive to me. I, in turn, felt guilty when I realized this. I shouldn’t indirectly wish negative emotions on anyone.
But when I was a child, I was at the mercy of someone who was most likely a psychopath (and I don’t throw this word around lightly). To me, its opposite is not a harmless, perfectly gentle human. It’s someone capable of remorse. Someone who is sensitive enough to be tortured by their own guilt. If you’ve ever been confronted with true evil and have searched their eyes for an ounce of compassion and found nothing but cold indifference, then there’s something wildly attractive and comforting about someone who can be visibly remorseful. It signals the existence of a conscience, emotional depth and self-awareness to me. It makes me more likely to feel safe with him. It’s the container that allows dominance and otherwise intimidating traits to be appealing.
Like always, I felt the urge to research if I finally had an original experience. (I did not.) I came across something interesting that I wanted to share with the class: “In all samples, shame-displaying men were equally or more attractive than men displaying neutral, happy, and, in Study 1, pride expressions. [...] Shame’s communication of trustworthiness and group commitment may be what accounts for its relative attractiveness in men. [...] When shown by men, the expression [shame] appears to be particularly attractive to younger women.” (Tracy & Beall, 2011, p. 1386)
Remember that James Gray (The Immigrant Director) quote I shared the other day? Gray recalling a conversation with Joaquin on his acting choices as Bruno:
I said “Oh, that’s good. I like that you channeled that character’s self-loathing.”
He [Joaquin] said, “Yeah, I hate myself.”
I said, “Yeah, yeah, the character’s…”
And he said, “No, I hate myself. I hate myself.”
Considering how heartbreakingly believable his performance is here, it doesn’t surprise me at all. I believe it. I’m convinced he was telling the truth. And as a consequence, I find Bruno Weiss insanely attractive. His guilt is what makes him (and his darkness) so magnetic.
I actually attempted a Facial Action Coding analysis of the three clips, but when I was done it seemed a bit too much like “undiagnosed autism”-behavior of me. So I’ll spare you xD However, it does have me convinced that Joaquin either uses the Facial Action Coding System as a resource himself (some actors and animators do) and/or his self-loathing while immersed in his role as Bruno really was genuine.
Ekman, P., Friesen, W. V., & Hager, J. C. (2002). Facial action coding system: Manual and investigator's guide. Research Nexus.
Ekman, P. (2007). Emotions revealed: Recognizing faces and feelings to improve communication and emotional life (2nd ed.). Henry Holt and Company.
Hopf, A. G. M., Buchheim, A., Hopf, M., & Eilert, D. W. (2026). A Psychological Guide to Lower Face Botulinum Toxin Injections: Baseline Emotional Functions of Facial Expressions. Journal of cosmetic dermatology, 25(4).
Tracy, J. L., Robins, R. W., & Schriber, R. A. (2009). Development of a FACS-verified set of basic and self-conscious emotion expressions. Emotion, 9(4), 554–559.
Tracy J. L., Beall A. T., (2011). Happy guys finish last: The impact of emotion expressions on sexual attraction. Emotion, 11, 1379–1387.
Yes it is! Thank you for gathering these! I love these intense contrasts between Joaquin's emotional sensitivity and the characters he plays. It happens time and time again, I also find the director's choice of casting Joaquin to be fascinating.
I wish more interviews with directors went into specifically WHY they casted these actors (mannerisms? Appearance? The way they carry themselves? So often it's "it's because they are a good actor/famous" but Joaquin tends to put his 100% in roles and completely change himself for them. I'm always fascinated by directors choices AGH pick their brains more!) but that's another conversation, I'm rambling now
You can tell he puts his whole heart into these roles which makes his aversion to being complimented SO frustrating!
Tumblr should really invent the possibility to like comments on reblogs without making it look like you're shamelessly liking your own post lmao. But I totally agree. I sometimes worry about the psychological toll he must experience from *becoming* these characters.
I love that James Gray actually describes what he likes about Joaquin. And that he gives him space to roam on set, change the mono/dialogue, and change elements of the characters. It seems Gray really trusts Joaquin's intuition. I also found it interesting that Gray mentioned (in that second interview) that Bruno Weiss was written more as a straight up brute and that the change to him being more complex, nuanced and manipulative was "all Joaquin". Excellent choice imo.
The long awaited chapter is finally here! sorry for the delay but as y'all know I have a battlefield of ideas splitting my head into pieces XD (and tbh I wanted to think carefully of where I wanted to go with this fic) anyway enjoy everyone! Chapter 1, chapter 2 here
You’re a student archaeologist on an internship in Turkey, drawn to a forgotten trail that might lead to a lost temple of Commodus. What you didn’t expect was that you landed in 180 A.D in a Roman military camp.
The guards hauled you to a small tent on the edge of the camp, not quite a prisoner's enclosure but far from any comfort. A cot, a small table, and a rough-looking wool blanket, probably left by a dead centurion. Your hand touched the fabric, it was a coarse, lanatus weave, the kind issued to legionaries, scratchy and utilitarian. The tent itself was standard issue, made of leather panels stitched together, but you noticed the seams were reinforced with hemp cordage in a pattern consistent with mid-Antonine military quartermaster practices. They posted two men outside, their shadows stretching long against the canvas as the sun bled into the horizon.
You were alone, but still a prisoner, and you had no idea how to get out. The air smelled of damp earth and the distant scent of cooking fires, but all you could focus on was the pounding in your chest. You were stuck in a place and time other than yours. You had no idea how you ended up here... was there a purpose? A curse? What did you have to do or find to go back to your world?
Hours passed. You paced the cramped space, your modern boots silent on the dirt floor. Every sound made you jump: the clang of metal, the shout of a distant command, the rustle of the canvas in the wind. You kept pinching yourself, a desperate, childish act. ‘Wake up! Wake up in Turkey, with Dr. Levent scolding you for wandering off!’ But the pinches only left red marks on your skin. The fear in your chest was real. The Latin voices outside were real.
You were suddenly startled by the flap of your tent thrown back without warning. You flinched, stumbling back against the cot as Commodus stepped inside. He was alone, the torchlight from outside casting his face in sharp relief, his curls wild, his eyes gleaming with something between amusement and impatience. He wore a fine tunic of deep red, a Tyrian purple-dyed wool, so deep it was almost black. The kind of dye that cost its weight in silver. The gold at his belt catching the light. He looked every bit the emperor's son, and every bit the predator.
"Salve, vates." He saluted, his voice, smooth and mocking by calling you prophetess. "Satisne commoda?" He asked, knowing well your quarters were anything but comfortable. You swallowed, your throat tight, wishing you truly had studied Latin harder. Now it would be a matter of staying alive.
"Ita... est." You nodded. The words feeling clumsy, unnatural on your tongue.
His smile widened, but it didn't reach his eyes. He took a step closer, and you instinctively retreated, your back hitting the wooden frame of the cot. His eyes detailed you in a way that made you feel most vulnerable. They lingered on your boots, your pants. You could only imagine how suspicious they looked: your boots were a composite of rubber and synthetic fabrics, a concept utterly alien, and your trousers were made of denim, a sturdy twill weave that wouldn't exist for another seventeen hundred years. More solid and comfortable than Roman caligae or leather breeches, and then... a woman wearing pants, how confusing.
"Non timeo." (Don't be afraid.) He spoke but the tone felt more like a command rather than to comfort you. "Pater meus putat te deorum missam." (My father thinks you sent by the gods.) He circled you slowly, like a shark. "Ego autem... dubito." (But I... doubt.) Of course he doubted, from what you knew, Commodus was smart, sly, and paranoid. You straightened slightly, forcing yourself to meet his gaze.
"Non sum... dea...sum..." (I am not... a goddess.) You struggled for the right words, your mind racing. "Sum... discipula. Historica." (I am... a student. A historian.)
"Historica?" He laughed, stopping in front of you, so close you could see the flecks of gold in his irises. "Barbarus historiam discunt? Obsecro, debes iocari." (Barbarian studying history? Please, you must be joking.) His tone shifted, the mockery giving way to something sharper, more demanding. "Narra mihi de me. Quid agam? Quid fiam?" (Tell me about me. What will I do? What will I become?)
Your heart hammered against your ribs. This was the test. You knew what history said, what you had told him in the emperor's tent. But to repeat it now, alone with him, felt like signing your own death warrant. You hesitated, looking away, searching for words that wouldn't get you killed.
"Tu... eras... Caesar." You began slowly, carefully. "Magnus... imperator." (Great... emperor.) He suddenly grabbed your chin, his grip firm but not painful, forcing you to look at him.
"Id iam scio. Volo aliquid novum. Volo veritatem." (I already know that. I want something new. I want the truth.) His voice was low, dangerous. Almost as if he didn't care what his father forbid. He released you, stepping back with a frustrated sigh. "Lingua tua... taedet." (Your language... tires me.) He began to pace the small space, his movements restless. "Loqueris sicut puer qui verba novit, non sensum." (You speak like a child who knows words, not meaning.) You blushed at his words in shame. Tears prickled in your eyes, from the stress of the situation and your inability to even make yourself understood.
"Ego... non... bene loquor." (I... not... speak well.) You gestured helplessly. "Latina... difficilis." You muttered, biting your lower lip to prevent yourself from crying in front of him. It would satisfy him too much or it would be a good excuse for him to strike you.
He stopped pacing and turned to face you, a glint of something like challenge in his eyes. He stepped close again, his voice dropping to a near whisper.
"Dic post me. Vero." (Repeat after me. True.)
"Vero." You repeated, the word feeling foreign on your tongue.
"Dubito." (I doubt.)
"Dubito."
"Monstrum." You froze at the word he pronounced and felt the dagger hanging above your head. You couldn't say it. Not to him. Not again. His expression hardened, his patience wearing thin.
"Dicas!" (Say it!) He grabbed your arms, his fingers digging into your flesh. "Dic verbum!" (Say the word!)
"Non possum!" (I cannot.) You whispered, your voice trembling as a tear escaped your eye. "Please..."
He stared at you, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Then, as quickly as the anger had flared, it subsided. He let go of you, stepping back with a frustrated groan.
"Inutilis." (Useless.) He ran a hand through his hair, messing up the perfect curls. You sank onto the cot, your body trembling. You needed to buy time, anything so your life wasn't threatened.
"Ego... posso discere." (I... can learn.) You looked up at him, desperation giving you courage. "Da mihi... tempus. Docebo te... de futuro. Docebo te... quod scio." (Give me... time. I will teach you... of the future. I will teach you... what I know.) He studied you, his expression unreadable. For a long moment, he said nothing. Then, he nodded slowly.
"Bene." (Good.) He moved to the tent flap, pausing before leaving. "Cras. Cras veniemus." (Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will come.) He glanced back at you, his eyes lingering. "Et loqueris. Melius." (And you will speak. Better.)
Then he was gone, leaving you alone in the dim light of the tent, the echo of his words hanging in the air. You had survived this encounter. But tomorrow... tomorrow you would have to speak better. Or face the consequences.
That's when you knew you wouldn't sleep that night. You had no time for that. You had to improve your spoken Latin and for that you needed to listen the way soldiers spoke, and speak to them; many didn't come from Rome but provinces and conquered territories, including Germania. Tomorrow you would be able to tell him better sentences.
And that was you did. The whole night you wandered the camp accompanied by the two soldiers in charge of making sure you didn't escape. As you walked you noted the layout of the temporary marching camp, its perfect square grid, the via principalis cutting through the center, just as described in Vegetius's De Re Militari. You saw the portable ovens made of clay and the standardized leather tents of each contubernium. But you couldn’t let yourself be distracted by your archeological interest. Your life depended on it.
Of course, the soldiers had been wary at first when you approached them. You had understood many rumors were already coursing about you, a witch, a barbarian from an unknown land, a creature sent by the gods to warn them all of the danger of Commodus, warn them about the dangers of the war...if they knew how far they were from the truth.
Still, you managed to make a few centurions talks with you, exchanging your neck scarf with a centurion, a bracelet with another, your money of exchange. Some asked you about their future, to which you couldn't answer, so you remained generic or made-up unimportant things. And just like when you travelled to other countries, your brain started to get used to the sonorities of the language, the accent. You started to slightly improve. Of course you wouldn't suddenly be bilingual, but you could manage very simple questions. Your knowledge of Italian also guided you for the vocabulary, Commodus wouldn't kill you tomorrow. You were starting to hope you would find a way out.
The next morning, as the Sun barely came out, and that you had barely gone to sleep, you were awoken by the noises of buzzing activity, like a hive awakening and hurrying to get to work. You frowned, wondering if it was like that every morning in a Roman camp or if something was happening. You quickly put your boots on and opened the flap of the tent. Your head was slightly spinning from tiredness, your mind groggy.
Your two guards were still there, merely glancing at you. You realized the whole camp was preparing to leave, soldiers packed supplies, officers shouted commands, horses were being fed and prepared. You swallowed down, where were they heading? Your memory assembled the pieces in front of you, searching through what you learned. It was cold, humid, numerous troops in Germania with both Marcus Aurelius and his son Commodus... this was the Marcomannic wars, the last war of Marcus Aurelius. They were packing to head back to Rome...but why in a hurry so suddenly?
You noticed a guard approaching you, the expression on his face was of impatience and tiredness.
"Commodus Caesar te vocat." (The Caesar calls you.) And to those words, your heart missed a beat. Was he already going to test you? And if you failed, what would happen? You felt anxiety fill in your chest, wishing you had more time. Your hands clutched into fists, your fingers nervously rubbing against each other as you followed to the imperial tent.
The guard opened the flap of the tent, letting you in without escorting you. You were no threat to their eyes. And even then, you knew the young Emperor was an excellent fighter. Commodus's tent was large, richly appointed, but sparsely furnished. Unlike the functional soldiers' tents, this one had a wooden floor, and the walls were lined with dyed wool tapestries depicting battle scenes in the style of the late Antonine period, the figures stiff and formal. And it was warm, so warm compared to your tent!
You suddenly froze in your steps as you noticed him. He stood near a basin of water, his body bare, his skin still gleaming with moisture. Water droplets traced paths down on his shoulders and arms. You couldn't help but notice the defined muscles of his chest and abdomen, the strength in his arms as he wrung out a cloth, the droplets of water sliding down his curved back and down to his... behind. He was beautiful in a way that statues could never capture. And for a brief instant, you forgot how dangerous he was.
"Salve, historica." He turned, his eyes assessing you. Not minding to be naked in front of you, it was different times after all. "Melius dormisti?" (Did you sleep better?) he asked not to enquire but to test your language.
"Non multum." (Not much.) You answered, your voice steadier than yesterday. "Campus... sonorosus. Nimis frigus erat." (The camp... noisy. It was too cold.)
A flicker of surprise crossed his face. "Latina tua... melior est." (Your Latin... is better.) He dried his arms, his movements deliberate. "Quomodo hac nocte melius fecisti?" (How did you improve last night?)
"Soldatus... loqui." (Soldiers... talk.) You hesitated, then took the risk to make him test you harder. "Loquendo et... audiendo. Memoria bona est." (I talked and listened. I have a good memory). He nodded, the ghost of a cruel smile forming on his lips as he signed for a slave to dress him.
"Bona puella." (Good girl) he praised, making you blush in surprise. "Loquere." (Speak)
"Pater tuus... morietur. Romam non perveniet." (Your father... will die. He won't make it to Rome.) you let out, not knowing that words you pronounced would decide of your fate. The air in the tent grew still. Commodus stared at you, his face unreadable.
"Moriatur?" (Will die?) He repeated softly. "Quomodo hoc scis? Nemo in castris novit eum nocte graviter aegrotare." (How do you know? no one knows in the camp he fell sick last night) he asked with a hint of suspicion, could he have been mistaken? You looked at him with wide eyes, so that was the reason the camp was packing. To attempt to save the Emperor's life from the plague.
"Scio." (I know) you simply replied, mentally thanking God or the gods for this fortunate coincidence, it was saving your life in a way you didn’t expect. For a long moment, Commodus said nothing as if he was processing the news, pain flashing through his eyes. Then he laughed, a harsh, broken sound. The muscles of his jaw worked as his gaze briefly lost in emptiness.
"Bene." (Good.) He finished dressing, pulling on a fine tunic. "Si verum est... es vates." (If it's true... you are a prophetess.) "Si falsum est... es mortua." (If it's false... you are dead.) your stomach dropped at his words. No your life wasn't safe after all. He approached you just like the previous night, looking at you in the eyes. You looked up at him, wondering what would be his next move.
"Veni." (Come.) He stated, exiting the tent. You followed him out into the bustling camp. The cold hit you immediately, a sharp, biting wind that cut through your thin clothing. You shivered, wrapping your arms around yourself. Commodus noticed and stopped, his gaze sweeping over your inadequate attire.
"Vestimenta tua... ridicula." (Your clothes... ridiculous.) He sneered and gestured to a nearby servant, who approached with a thick fur cloak. "Tolle." (Take it.)
The servant draped the heavy fur over your shoulders. It was warm, impossibly so, smelling of leather and something else, Commodus, perhaps. You pulled it tight around you, grateful for the warmth but acutely aware of the implication.
"Mea carruca... mecum." (My imperial carriage... with me.) Commodus continued walking, not waiting to see if you followed.
You stared after him, your mind racing. The imperial carriage? With him? This was more than you'd hoped for, more than you'd feared. You were no longer just a curiosity; you were now his prophetess, his possession. But it also meant you would have to be constantly on your guard until you figured out what to do. And as you followed him toward the ornate carriage waiting at the edge of camp, you couldn't shake the feeling that you had just made a deal with the devil, one that might save you or destroy you, depending on whether your knowledge of history was a gift or a curse.
The carriage was more magnificent than anything you'd seen in museums or read about in texts. It was a carruca of dark, polished wood, likely elm or oak, reinforced with ornate bronze fittings.. The wheels were massive, their spokes felloes made of ash for flexibility, designed to traverse the rough roads of Germania, and the suspension system, leather straps that would absorb the worst of the jolts was engineering you'd only studied in diagrams. For a moment, despite your fear, you felt a thrill of academic excitement. This was a piece of living history, a mechanical marvel of the second century.
"Admiris?" Commodus watched your amazed reaction with amusement. It was almost refreshing to see, like a child discovering the roman wonders for the first time.
"Ita... est. Mirabile." (It is... wonderful. Marvelous.) With your fingertips you traced the intricate carving on the door which depicted a lion hunt, a popular motif for the imperial family; forgetting yourself for a moment.
His expression shifted slightly at your words, but he said nothing as a servant opened the carriage door. He climbed first then gestured for you to join him, ignoring the stares of the soldiers. Whatever intrigued or amused it did not matter. You climbed inside, and the academic thrill vanished instantly. The space was smaller than it appeared from outside, richly appointed with velvet cushions and bronze lamps, but confining. The air was thick with the scent of leather, wine, and something else, a similar scent as the fur you wore. Commodus himself.
Commodus settled opposite you as the carriage began to move. The motion was smoother than you expected, but the confinement was suffocating. No one was there in this space but Commodus and you. Every shift of his body, every breath you took seemed to echo in the small space. You were trapped with him, miles from anyone who might help, your fate entirely in his hands. He was calm, very calm, his face hiding his thoughts as if he was waiting for you to bolt to bite you.
"Intueris, historica." (you are staring) He observed, his voice low. "Quid vides?" (What do you see?). You swallowed down, forcing yourself to meet his gaze.
"Video... imperatorem." (I see... an emperor.) But you saw more than that. You saw the tension in his shoulders, the way his fingers drummed restlessly against his thigh, the flicker of something uncertain in his eyes when he thought you weren't looking. He was just a boy playing tough emperor, not knowing when his toys would break or when his luck would run out.
Commodus in that moment seemed content with your answer and focused on scrolls he had with him, ignoring you royally for the rest of the trip. You took a deep breath; this was going to be a long trip...
Days passed, you busied yourself by looking out the window or observing the young emperor, there was nothing else you could do anyway. Commodus didn’t even pass you his scrolls for you to practice latin, no. You weren’t worthy of such trust.
A routine of observations and tensions settled. After noticing you were bored out of your mind, Commodus started to make you talk each day, several times. A useful technique to make you improve and it worked. For basic conversations you didn't even translate in your head anymore, it was as if you were speaking your native tongue. Still, the young Emperor remained distant, not letting out a single word about his passions, what he liked or disliked. And he didn't seek to know you either. For him, you were just a strange barbarian in strange clothing who could foresee the future. A useful tool.
Sometimes Commodus would leave the carriage to ride ahead with his generals, returning with mud on his boots and news of his father's worsening condition. Sometimes physicians would enter the carriage, their whispers of fever and weakness filling the space before they departed with bowing heads. Through it all, you watched. You saw the cracks in his imperial mask, the momentary softening when a doctor mentioned Marcus asking for him, the flash of irritation when a general questioned his orders, the genuine grief that crossed his face when he thought himself alone.
One evening, as the carriage was about to stop for the night at a villa, the day's exhaustion finally claimed him. He had been arguing with a messenger about supply lines, his voice sharp and imperial, but as soon as the man left, the energy seemed to drain out of him. He slumped against the velvet cushions, his head resting back, his eyes closing. You watched as he tried to stay awake, his head bobbing forward as a reflex but he could not resist and fell alseep. His breathing evened out, the rhythmic sound filling the small space.
For the first time, he wasn't the Emperor, the predator, the threat. He was just an exhausted young man. The perpetual tension in his brow had smoothed out, his lips parted slightly. He looked younger, almost peaceful in the dim light of the carriage lamp. A strange warmth spread through your chest. Despite everything, you felt a pull of sympathy, a connection to the human being hidden beneath the golden armor. A small, genuine smile touched your lips as you watched him. He was adorable, your favorite emperor did have a softness to him. Part of you wished it was like in those time traveling novels, where he would be your savior and a friendship or love story would emerge from it.
In an instant, Commodus woke with a sudden, sharp inhale, his eyes flying open. For a disoriented moment, he simply stared, and then his focus sharpened, landing directly on you. He had seen you. He had seen the smile.
The softness vanished from his face, replaced by a guarded, calculating hardness. The peaceful air between you shattered, and a tension so thick it was suffocating appeared.
"You were smiling." He said, his voice low, devoid of sleep. "What makes you smile?" he asked, his tone on the edge. You froze, your heart leaping into your throat.
"Nothing Caesar...nothing." you quickly replied. You had been careless and now you were putting yourself at risk. What was a harmless, almost tender moment had been perceived as an attack. And Marcus Aurelius couldn't save you this time.
Commodus moved then, not with the lazy grace of a man just waking, but with the deliberate, predatory grace of a hunter. He shifted from his seat to yours, the space between you vanishing. He didn't touch you, but he was close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his skin, close enough that his next words would be a breath against your ear.
"Do you find my exhaustion amusing, historica?" The mocking title was back, but this time it was laced with something new, something dangerous. "Or do you find me... weak? Vulnerable? What are you planning?"
You couldn't answer. Your voice had deserted you. You felt as if no matter the answer he had already made up his mind. His eyes, which had been soft with sleep moments ago, now gleamed with a sharp, unsettling light.
"You watch me. All the time." he continued, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "You see everything. My anger, my grief... my weariness. Yet, you give me nothing. No blessing, no more predictions." He leaned closer, his gaze dropping to your lips. "Some say that intimacy with those touched by the gods... might bring favor." His eyes met yours again, holding you captive. "That if I prove myself pleasurable enough... divine blessing will follow." your breath hitched at his words, understanding all too well what he meant.
"Caesar...I'm not touched by the gods..." your voice shook. You had put yourself in a situation without exit. He smiled, a slow, dangerous smile.
"You say that now. But you are something special. Something rare. Something that sees." His hand finally moved, not to grab or harm, but to gently brush a stray strand of hair from your cheek. The touch was deceptively tender. "And the gods... they say they reward those who seize what is offered...I am ready to do it. I know you barbarians fuck to talk with the gods and my father won't stand in the way this time... What do you say, historica?" he purred, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. You had to find a way to escape his clutches and quickly.
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