my dark passenger

We all have something to hide. Some dark place inside us we don’t want the world to see. So we pretend everything’s okay, wrapping ourselves in rainbows. And maybe that’s all for the best, because some of these places are darker than others. -----Dexter M. Filipino. Batangueno. Bikolano. Nagueno. Spaghetti. Pasta. Pizza. Burger. Chicken. Blue. Black. White. Books. Books. Books. A Hopeless Romantic. A Frustrated Writer, Singer, Dancer. An Engineer. Number 13. I'm Erick.

[darknessofmyshadow]

112124 1614 don't know what to do with my life. Almost a year just sitting, in bed all day, doing nothing but browse tiktok and every other apps on my phone

[darknessofmyshadow]

040124 0952

writing from my laptop. first day of another try to make things better.

[darknessofmyshadow]

011924 2122 kylle was here earlier. had 1 round. we ate what i cooked earlier today - chicken breast with veggies and tomato sauce. he was so fast to go. he said he'll meet a friend but i don't know what to think. i don't really know what to think because his ass is so clean even, as he said, he came from work. i'm thinking he came from someone else's house. that's why he's not sure what time to get here because maybe as he does with me, he'll hide his phone and go to the cr to chat maybe with someone else he'll go to next.

ken message me in tg but i said i have things to do tonight.

[darknessofmyshadow]

011924 1055 i wonder if kylle will ask for some money again because he texted me early in the morning before he got to work. So unusual of him. He only texts me before he wants to come by.

Finished eating the whole sugar-coated pili nuts. Did not taste that good.

[herigo]

[darknessofmyshadow]

011824 2219 exercised then fix the delivered gaming chair. Dinner done. Exhausted.

Still not in the mood to see familiar faces. Kylle texted but i refused to let him come by. Ken also messaged in tg but i refused as well to let him come by. He said he wanted to meet this evening or tomorrow evening if I'm free. I said maybe next week coz i have other things to do already.

[darknessofmyshadow]

011824 0832 first time that i didn't open my cp after waking up. Stayed in bed for a few minutes and stood up. Silent for a few minutes. Finished one video on youtube for video editing. Breakfast done.

[darknessofmyshadow]

011724 2231 I am thinking now what have i been doing for the past 17 days that i have no work. I think i can say that i have been consistent in cooking my meals and working out. Those two definitely I'm sure. The other times I've spent? Not sure.

[thehopefulquotes]

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”

— Robin Williams

[darknessofmyshadow]

011724 2221 kylle texted twice earlier today but i replied an hour later. I just don't want to see him for now. He might be coming over for dinner again and I don't want to spend for food delivery again.

del paquibot messaged me earlier. He said he's in holiday inn in newport and wants me to come over. I declined.

Mikee the lawyer messaged me in viber earlier as well. I told him I'm already here in mandaluyong because I've told him before that I'm still in batangas.he wants us to meet earlier but i declined.he said maybe next week. I said bahala na.

I just confirmed earlier today that i might receive the 7k gc for sm appliance by Friday. Hopefully. The gaming chair is expected to be delivered tomorrow.

[stay-close]

“I forgive people but that doesn’t mean I accept their behavior or trust them again. I forgive them for me, so I can let go and move on with my life.”

— Unknown

[quotefeeling]

“It takes a level of self love, of dedication and determination to live your greatest life. So, look within. Look at every area of your life and ask yourself these questions: Am I on course? Am I growing mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Anything that is blocking that, anything that is preventing you from living your greatest life, make the tough decision to let it go.”

— Unknown

[darknessofmyshadow]

010424 2145 I've been writing in my journal notebook for the past few days now. Hoping i will be able to sustain the writings.

[darknessofmyshadow]

010124 0706 Good morning and Happy New Year! This year will bring me prosperity, financial abundance, good health, love, happiness, and security. Welcome and thank you 2024!

[darknessofmyshadow]

010124 0105 happy new year! Kylle was here at my place earlier. Arrived at around 8pm then went home around 9:30pm. We had 2. I still haven't given him the pasalubong from bicol. We still haven't talked about what we are. I was supposed to buy him a gift last Saturday but he said he had plans already on that day so i did not bring it up. I'm not sure if i should still continue what we're having. I'm not sure what he really wants.

[darknessofmyshadow]

122823 1537 kylle just went home.met earliert his morning.had 3 rounds.none for him.he was chatting with someone on his phone.thought he will be here until tonight coz he said he'll be in obar later.we didn't talk about what he asked me the other day on text.i didn't bring it up.dont have the courage.

[stay-close]

“Never discredit your gut instinct. You are not paranoid. Your body can pick up on bad vibrations. If something deep inside of you says something is not right about a person or situation, trust it.”

— Simple Reminders