/LIFTS LEGGY/

Official blog for the Darkpilot Skype Group! Here we post transcripts of cool AUs, neato art, and rad fic!

[1-800-needy]

pretty in rose

[marinedoqalt]

tadahh - Can’t Sleep Love ala Darkpilot

[darkpilot-skype]

Band au part 2

Kes: Oh i second that wow i need this now yes

Kylo ft. Soprano: Yes pls.

trash empire: the fray did a cover of hips don't lie, i'm dying

Kes: oh my god it's working and its beautiful wow

Kes: wait what seriously??

Kylo ft. Soprano: Hello there, and welcome ^-^

Kes: Hey!

trash empire: hello person

trash empire: join the cult of gay

revan: this sounds like a cult i want to be a part of

trash empire: we have bath robes

Kylo ft. Soprano: We don't bite. I think. Probably.

Idk what you guys are into.

trash empire: also the cover is real & now i'm crying

trash empire: http://youtu.be/6s5R2c23XYs

Kylo ft. Soprano: what have you done.

revan: omg bless

Kes: bless them perf

Sheep: !!!

trash empire: kylo speaking the spoken parts & poe just singing his gay ass heart out

Kylo ft. Soprano: Yes please this is great thank you.

trash empire: rey questions them loudly from afar

trash empire: regrets ever letting them meet

Kylo ft. Soprano: Finn laughing his ass off in the background, trying to dance to it but laughing to hard to actually stand.

Kes: after a while their bands get to be friends and they sstart getting together on the weekends to do covers of songs and just generally goofing off

trash empire: he tries to yell out the spanish parts & bless this all

Sheep: Im about to give you responsibility

Kes: wait poe or finn screaming the spanish part because either is perf

revan: i imagine finn screeching them

trash empire: both, both is good

trash empire: i am the taco commercial girl

Kylo ft. Soprano: Just wait for the eventual breakdown of Kylo in Poe's arms after Poe figures out that Kylo just wanted his parents to step off and let him be who he really was, as opposed to the perfect opera prodigy training under the great Luke Skywalker.

trash empire: he just wants to be screamo trash

Kylo ft. Soprano: The pressure was too much, okay?

And Poe just... is awkward at first. But then realizes how much Kylo-- Ben-- Must trust him to give in like that.

But Poe still hates screamo, so...

revan: i don't know why but "seduced by the evil dark side of screamo" almost made me snort my hot chocolate out my nose

revan: i love it

trash empire: leather pants & eyeliner are part of the deal

revan: i'm strangely reminded of ygo

Kylo ft. Soprano: This fits in well with this au

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTLAx3VDX7g

Kylo ft. Soprano: ...

g u y s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAMyh8DjCrQ

Kylo ft. Soprano: ...

g u y s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAMyh8DjCrQ

Kylo ft. Soprano: Okay, I'll stop :')

I just... have a lot of feelings about this au now.

Sheep: what is this au

trash empire: no, continue with the au

trash empire: we've gone from kylo fucking up poe's car to band au

Sheep: ???

Sheep: BAND AU

Kes: au where kylo is in a screamo band (knight's of ren or the first order) and poe is in an alternative (the resistance) and they keep getting booked back to back at jakku stadium

Sheep: MMMM

Sheep: i always love indie folk singer poe

Kes: and han and solo used to be training kylo in opera until he decided naw screamo

Kylo ft. Soprano: Poe and his cat

trash empire: acoustic covers of shakira though

Kes: like his grandpappy

revan: i am here for all of this

Kes: oh yeah and poe doing a acostic cover of hips don't lie

trash empire: kylo doing the spoken parts & trying not to die

Kes: rey is kylo's cousin and poe comes over to her house hear's him doing opera kylo sees him and runs smacks his face into the ground while still halfway through the window

trash empire: graceful drunk deer

Kylo ft. Soprano: We're all gonna fight skype tbh.

Do you ever find dumb videos of Adam Driver and you cringe but also fall in love a little more?

Sheep: did you mean the outer space song

Sheep: did u see that

trash empire: FIGHT & that song is great

Kylo ft. Soprano: That song killed me are you joking. It was great.

Kes: what song???

Kes: also i sent u the thing and it was in fact awful 12 year old me is awful

[darkpilot-skype]

Band au

9 billion hair products: ....

Modern au where everyone's in a band/is a singer.

And Kylo....

Is...

An opera singer.

trash empire: they applaud him for his fireman edition in the fifth annual resistance calendar

Kes: oh my god yes

trash empire: & bless that au

9 billion hair products: Jk he'd be screamo.

So emo

Much wow

trash empire: phasma is the drummer in his band & hux is just there because he has to be

9 billion hair products: Snoke as the manager

9 billion hair products: Finn as a roadie

who goes to hang with Resistance, another alt band

Kes: dude what if han and leia were having him classically trained but then kylo decided to do screamo so now its both and poe met kylo during his screamo career and then being awed and amazed when he finds out kylo's only other form of singing is opera

9 billion hair products: YASSSS

trash empire: fricking dorks

trash empire: their bands just loudly judge one another

9 billion hair products: But consider--- rival bands, and Poe is like what ew screamo, but then he learns of Kylo's opera singing and falls in love.

Damn

Kes: yesssssss

trash empire: kylo wears leather pants & all black

Kes: and heavy duty eyeliner

9 billion hair products: noooo leather pants

X'D

trash empire: he crosses the line at smudged eyeliner because that's far from classy

trash empire: if has to be on point

Kylo ft. Soprano: Anyways, back to Kylo, I bet he'd be the person online who is the "im so RANDOM LOLZ XDD" kind of guy

Kylo ft. Soprano: You know it.

trash empire: oh god

trash empire: son no

Kes: i wanna see kylo trying to spike his hair up and failing miserably

trash empire: it's too fluffy to even try it

Kylo ft. Soprano: what have we done

trash empire: yo, modern au where kylo only wears oversized sweaters in 'different shades' of black

trash empire: poe tries to wear one but looks super smol in it

Kylo ft. Soprano: yes :')

Kes: yesss

Kylo ft. Soprano: It comes down to, like, his knees

Kylo ft. Soprano: And he the arms are too long

Kylo ft. Soprano: But when Rey tries to tease him about it he hits her with them

trash empire: death by sleeves

Kes: like way to long and poe trying to roll up the sleeves so that he can like actually do things

trash empire: modern aus where rey is kylo's cool cousin are the best & he probably rolls them up to his biceps

Kylo ft. Soprano: This is making me so happy

Kes: oh dude kylo meeting poe at the screamo thing and they're rivals and everything screamo vs alternative and then poe meets him at rey's and that's where he hears him singing opera

trash empire: just swoons & falls over because hot damn

Kes: And kylo would do this choked off sound and be all wide eyed and paniced when he sees poe looking at him gobsmacked in the doorway

trash empire: he tries to escape through a window or some shit & falls on his face because he is as graceful as a drunk deer

Kes: omg yes and rey is just so confused on what the heck is going on and why her cousin is on his face halfway through the window

trash empire: poe just calls kylo 'leather pants' the rest of the concert

trash empire: rey is forever confused

Kylo ft. Soprano: pls

:'D

Kes: god kylo would probs play the guitar while he does screamo or something and it would be his dumb lightsaber i'm calling it

Kes: or that would be their band logo or both

trash empire: imagine the title of his songs & that's a great band logo

trash empire: eat shit & die, fuck taxes, space communism

Kes: oh my god these are perfect

Kylo ft. Soprano: BUT

THEN

WHO IS

ANAKIN

Kylo ft. Soprano: Darth Vader being considered a god of death metal

Kes: yes

trash empire: bless

trash empire: he just wants to be as rad as his grandpa

Kylo ft. Soprano: Anakin used to be a country singer, but his gf was like nah son, so he changed to metal.

I love it,

Kes: omg this is even better

Kylo ft. Soprano: Okay, no, I lied, Anaking was also an opera singer because that image is too good

trash empire: still hated sand though

Kes: that's probs the only reason kylo will even consider still keeping up with his opera singing

Kylo ft. Soprano: Real question tho:

Who is the Brendon Urie in this au.

The sand thing will live on forever

Kylo ft. Soprano: All the different names for planets actually just being names of stadiums.

Kes: Yes

Kes: and for some reason they both keep getting booked near the same time at jakku stadium

trash empire: -insert good shit meme-

Kes: Poe's band would be the Resistance and Kylo's would be the Knight's of Ren or something nerdy like that

Kes: Maybe the First Order?

trash empire: the bad name flip flops all over the place due to hux & kylo bickering

trash empire: i have a mighty need for poe being a dork & doing an acoustic cover of hips don't lie

[ciinderblock]

I haven’t posted in a while and tbh I haven’t been in much of a drawing mood after being super busy w work and adult responsibilities so Imma just post some of my favorite drawings that have been inspired by the many musings on the @darkpilot-skype group chat Enjoy!

[darkpilot-skype]

Cinthya’s art for Serial Killer au

[darkpilot-skype]

Serial Killer au

Kars: it is gross & i'm just?? do not scare the babs & ooooh, crime boss trash son

cinthya: Tell me the gross pls

Kes: ye gimme the gross

Kars: sweats

Kars: it's hella unhealthy & gross

Kars: sooooo

cinthya: Hoooook it up

Kars: unless you're ok with that

Kes: i'm down

cinthya: Pls

Kars: you dirty sinners

cinthya: Enabler

Kes: pretty please with guro sprinkles

Kes: ;)

alex: Smol dragon wants to know

Kars: kylo having a strong fixation on poe throughout their childhood & teen years

but never acting on it due to his own issues, it escalates once they're adults

Kars: it borders on obsession & he doesn't say anything because he doesn't know

how poe will react

alex: MMMMMMMMM YES

Kars: if anyone looks at poe the wrong way or hurts him he's instantly murderous

cinthya: where do I sign

Kes: hella

alex: I LOVE THIS !!????

Kars: has gross song mix in mind

cinthya: Link me it

Kars: kylo wants him so bad but he's scared that poe will hate him once he finds out

& it drives him nuts

cinthya: Or tell me all the order

alex: JFC THIS IS MMMMMM

Kars: it was a gross mix i made back when i was active on my uber gross wendigo

blog

Kars: like the child's gross ass relationship ended in murder & cannibalism

cinthya: tear you apart is on it

cinthya: Christ

cinthya: That takes me back

Kars: now let me lay down because poe suspects kylo has feelings for him & just

patiently waits for kylo to make a move

Kars: https://youtu.be/kJTTNTOtSpM

Kars: the theme for this au

Kars: pretty much

cinthya:

cinthya:

Kars: even though kylo's a murderer with a fixation on his childhood friend he's an

alright guy

Kars: an awkward guy but an alright one

Kars: !!!

Kars: poe walks in while kylo's killing someone & kylo full out panics because he

never wanted poe to see this side of him

cinthya: That reminds me of a couple ocs I got that... are just as gross tbh I'll tell u

on private chat

Kars:

Kars: did i kill everyone with the gross?

cinthya: Nope

Kars: oh good

Kars: i got more

Kes: Sorry went to get food but guro angst

Kars: good

Kars: kylo tries to explain himself but only manages a choked off sound while poe

tries to make sense of what's happening

Kes: ooh

(later conversation)

Kars: oh shit, i got more gross au stuff

alex: TELL

Kars: because my guro loving ass is back in the mood

cinthya: Ayyyy

alex: Also tho imagine Kylo as Will

Kars: yesss

alex: Funfact my friend is named Will Ferrell

alex: He won student council bc of his name

Kars: alright, so after poe finds out & kylo momentarily panics he tries to explain

his himself while poe backs up into a corner

alex: Yandere Kylo

Kars: 'i'd never hurt you, i swear, please believe me'

Kars: yep

alex: Yandere sim feat. Kylo Ren

alex: S­senpai Poe p­please

Kars: & he sounds so pained when he says it which makes poe want to reach out &

comfort him but at the same time he's terrified

cinthya: Hold on now wait

cinthya: Am I missing something ? After poe finds out what?

Kars: ??

Kars: oh, yeah

Kars: you missed out then

Kars: lemme scroll up & repost

cinthya: Ah ok sorry

alex: It's basically Kylo with an obsession towards Poe

alex: And he gets to a point where he murders those he feels threatens Poe

Kars: poe walks in while kylo's killing someone & kylo full out panics because he

never wanted poe to see this side of him

Kars: that's the thingy

alex: Ye

alex: Obsessions by Marina and the Diamonds ayyo

Kars: kylo's fine with not being with poe as long he's happy

Kars: the minute anyone harms poe he takes care of it personally

cinthya: Oh wait no I did catch a bit of that

alex: Poe trying to keep him calm if a friend and him get into a fight bc he knows

what will happen

cinthya: Gimme that fucked up love

Kars:

cinthya: Please

alex: Poe calming him down and accidentally calling him sweetie or love or

something similar and Kylo just freezing and crying in his arms

Now continue with guro

Kars: poe does find it strange that anyone he has negative relationships with wind

up disappearing but he doesn't say anything about it

Kars: whenever he does try to bring it up kylo redirects the conversation or

distracts him with something else

Kars: kylo's just terrified of poe finding out how exactly in love he is with him

skyewars: what is this new au my eyes are looking at

Kars: serial killer kylo au

alex: Purgatory bittersweet purgatory

Kars: murder in the name of love

skyewars: oh my fucking god yes

alex: Neither heaven nor hell

Kars: i need a mug that reads that, waggle my brows at people

Kars: where'd cin go?

alex: One minute you are a sweet heart next minute you are an absolute creep,

we've got our obsessions

Kars: don't upstage me with my own angst, that's rude

alex: It's lyrics rip

Kars: i know

alex: OH

Kars: kylo just loves him so much it hurts & he'd do anything for him

Kars: & poe's oblivious to the murders but he does know that kylo likes him &

patiently waits for the dork to make a move

alex: you never told me what is was that made you strong and what is was that

made you weak

Poe asking Kylo about it

skyewars: so kylo kills everyone who likes poe?

alex: Anyone who hurts him

skyewars: to get him for himself, but the dork still doesn't want to admit it?

Kars: more like he kills anyone who fucks with poe

Kars: ye

cinthya: I'm puttin all my chips in for this

Kars: he doesn't do it for himself, he just wants to see poe happy even if it isn't

with him because he doesn't want poe to be with someone who's willing to do such terrible things

alex: Cries at happy by marina and the diamonds

let me be guro trash

cinthya: So he does terrible things to stop them

skyewars: that's...

skyewars: kinda nice I guess?

cinthya: poetic

Kars: let me be your murderous dream boat ;)

cinthya: So there's this song

cinthya: That may or may not fit

cinthya: (It does tho)

Kars: so when poe does discovers what kylo's capable of he's entirely wrecked

because this is what he was trying to prevent

Kars: & gimme

cinthya

Kars: he's shaking when he reaches out to cup poe's cheek & his expression only

becomes more pained when poe flinches at the touch

cinthya: Let me direct u to key lyric:

Kars: oooh

Kars: i love ludo

cinthya: "I murdered half the town and left you lovenotes on their headstones. I'll

fill the graveyards, until I have u"

cinthya: Yeeeee

cinthya: Ludo is great

Kars:

cinthya: true romance

Kars: kylo mutters all the apologizes he can & his voice cracks when he can't hold

back his tears

Kars: 'i just wanted to keep you happy, i love you, i love you so fucking much and

it hurts so bad.'

Kars: he's a sniveling mess when poe pats his head

cinthya: Awwww

cinthya: Kylooo u sweet lamb

Kars: his heart was in the right place, he just fucked up

cinthya: Consistently

alex: "We've got our obsessions I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me

everyday of every week"

Kars: poe's scared out of his mind but his chest clenches when he has kylo

practically curled up on him in tears

Kars: he's so fucking scared but he doesn't want to lose kylo

alex: Point to tove lo

alex: Good music

Kars: 'this is so fucked up'

Kars: he just mutters that before he kisses kylo to calm his nerves

cinthya: By some miracle, the affection he has for kylo outweighs the horror of the

situation. Because yeah, kylo's been killing. He's got blood on him right now, for God's sake. But

he's still the same dorky, awkward kylo he's always known

cinthya: And poe wouldn't dream of losing him

Kars: we just made murder cute

Kars: life goals

Kars: kylo gets over enthusiastic & poe shoves him back, 'no making out near a

corpse, i have standards.'

Kars: his voice cracks a little & it dawns on kylo how scared poe has to be

cinthya: And kylo is stuck because he can clean up the body,

but he's not entirely sure that if he let's go of poe right now that he won't run

Kars: 'just clean the body, please, i swear i won't leave'

Kars: gives kylo a kiss of reassurance

Kars: closes his eyes & tries to block out the noise when kylo

wraps up the body & loads it into his car

cinthya: Kylo loads it up and honestly, he turns to see poe still there, eyes closed

and trembling slightly if he really pays attention but he's still there . Poe stayed. His poe stayed.

And if that's not the most pure declaration of love one could make, then he's not sure what is.

Kars: he swears up & down that he's gonna make it up to him

alex: Listen to Serial Killer AU

https://soundcloud.com/ana­maurion/sets/serial­killer­au

Kars:

Kars: kylo tries to lean in for another kiss but stops when he sees how poe tenses up

Sheep: i just caught up on Demon au i cry

cinthya: ;)

Kars: softly asks him to give him his bloody shirt so he can clean him up

Kars: & we're all trash

Kars: 'you can leave, you don't have to stay'

Kars: his voice manages to be steady as he says it though poe knows it's absolute

bullshit

Kars: 'so i'm assuming you took care of the abusive ex? that one teacher who kept

on failing me? everyone?'

Kars: & kylo looks so damn guilty

cinthya: I did it all for you.

cinthya: I made sure they wouldn't hurt you again

Kars: we're romanticizing murder, the ultimate trash baby sin

Kars: is everyone dead?

Kars: were they killed by the guro sin?

alex: I was making a playlist for kaiden and ldr au

alex: I return tho

Kars: ooooh

Kars: & welcome back

Kars: i feel like cin is gonna run me over with angst

alex: Awww yesss

The ldr one is a wip but kaidens is fill of pretty songs so I'll link it

Kars: be the josh peck to my oprah

cinthya: I'm not doing anything omg

Kars: josh peck of sin

cinthya: I should tho

cinthya: Lemme just think on how to hurt u

Kars: run me over

Kars: relive the early 2000's

cinthya: How about an alternate take on poe finding kylo

Kars: ooooh

cinthya: It ain't canon for the sake of the au

cinthya: But it is painful ;)

Kars: lay it on me anyways

cinthya: Ayyy

Kars: i'll get revenge somehow

alex: Kaiden ­ SoundCloud ­ Listen to Kaiden by Ana Maurion #np on

#SoundCloud

https://soundcloud.com/ana­maurion/sets/kaiden

alex: Have some cute songs

Kars:

Sheep: so is kylo from demon!AU like a modern witch?

Sheep: bc i like that

Kars: yeah

Kars: the child is shit with runes

Kars: poe forever judges him & his dumb candles

Sheep: i wanna draw him

Sheep: whens witchsona week?

[darkpilot-skype]

Hotline Miamiesque au

Kes: what's hotline miamiesque?

Kars: i never told you that au?

Kars: really?

Kes: yeah I saw bits and pieces but I was traveling during the major parts I think so i'm still kind of lost...

Kes: I just got around to actually looking up what hotline miami is and holy moly

Kes: neon

Kars: it's my aesthetic

Kes: and animal heads

Kes: so pink

Kes: its so good

Kars: i love neo noir & neo 80s

Kars: mid 80s cop poe trying to track down this rampaging maniac that's wiping out crime organizations & people who were being investigated for having ties with the mob

Kes: YESSSSS

Kes: NO YEP NOW IM PUMPED

Kes: GIMMEEEE

Kars: ben's having sleeping problems & blacks out a lot, wakes up at random times with a pounding headache & sore all over

Kes: oooohhh so blackouts

Kars: i'm going along with ben getting phone calls (from snoke) at random hours of the night & that when he dons a ridiculously neon letterman jacket & motorcycle helmet

Kars: he refers to himself as 'kylo' when goes out & kills, he's a lot cockier & violent, doesn't really put much thought into why he listens to the voice on the other line

Kes: this also explains why the blood on kylo is like neon pink too wow perf

Kes: bab

Kes: little violent bab

Kars: when he's ben his knuckles are always sore and scraped up, he's gotten so used to the ache in his nose he doesn't even try to wipe the dried blood away sometimes, just sticks a bandage on it and goes out

Kes: so he doesn't realize what he's done or he does?

Kars: it's a weird feeling, he's always got cash on him & there's a change in his gait

Kars: he doesn't remember any of it

Kars: basically ben & kylo are different entities that don't interact

Kes: dude so like fight club??

Kars: a bit but they don't know about one another

Kars: so ben always scrunches up his nose at the rumors about the cities antihero

Kars: meanwhile the case is running cold & poe's chasing after dead leads as the months pass by, nothing adds up & he feels like he's the only one trying to get to the bottom of things

Kes: poe my hardworking baby

Kars: he's getting tired of people telling him to let it go, in the end the killer's doing them all a favor

Kars: none of the other precincts are taking it as serious as they should so poe takes it upon himself to track down the masked killer

Kes: baby

Kes: his helmet is the mask right?

Kars: yep!

Kars: poe's working himself ragged & it's all so damn frustrating, he meets ben in a bar, it starts off as flirting but the table nearby starts talking about the masked killer loudly, keep calling him a vigilante, & poe's fed up

Kars: 'you got a minute kid?'

doesn't even wait for an answer, just goes off about this masked antihero running amuck

Kes: oh dear

Kars: ben's a bit annoyed that he's stuck listening to this guy rant & he doesn't care about the antihero crimes but he stays there

Kars: listens to poe & swishes his whiskey around, 'if they don't want to be found then that's that.'

Kars: poe glares at him, he's done and he turns to leave but stops and decides 'no, i'm getting shitfaced with this asshole who cares anymore.'

Kars: he wakes up the next day in bed with ben whose back is a mess of scars & badly healing bruises

Kars: he wants to reach over & touch him but stops himself, gets up & collects his things because this sure was unprofessional as hell

Kars: he gets to the door but hears a faint 'don't go' & pauses but thinks he's hearing things & runs out

Kars: ben's left rubbing his face because it was a one night stand with a stranger, what'd he expect?

Kars: but he doesn't even have time to mope

Kes: precious baby

Kars: he contemplates going back to bed or cleaning the sheets but he gets a call & an address

Kes: oh no

Kars: poe ends up snooping at the address kylo's sent to & he has to take cover once kylo shows up & starts pretty much butchering everyone inside the building

Kars: just as poe draws out his gun kylo already has a knife against his throat so he jabs the gun against kylo's side & they're at a stalemate

Kes: ooh

Kars: they're both going to drop their weapons at the count of five but poe shoots kylo in the foot & gets the side of his neck nicked

Kars: there's a scramble for the gun but poe gets it and has kylo at gunpoint but kylo has a knife in his pocket and stabs poe in the arm with it

Kes: ooh no

Kars: poe hisses & slams into kylo to knock him over, he tries to rip the stupid helmet off but gets slugged in the face instead, his nose gets broken

Kars: poe bites his lip & kylo completely stops for a moment & that's enough time for poe to take the knife but kylo uses that moment to push him off & lunge for the gun

Kars: he takes the gun & bolts, stops near the exit & turns his head back in poe's direction for a split second before he leaves

Kes: I forgot he had the helmet on till now that's got to be ominous

*** Kars silently wants to make this a short film once they take film classes ***

Kars: kylo leaves but halfway through the mad dash home he's ben again

Kars: he's ben when he's dry heaving on the sidewalk & wiping his bloodied hands against his thighs, it hits him, every single thing he's done as kylo hits him like a sack of bricks & he's having a panic attack in front of his apartment

Kes: oh no

Kars: ben gets a call after he dry heaves again, it's the same blocked number as always & he's hesitant to answer it but he still does

Kes: and please do i feel youring filming skills would be on point my friend

Kars: 'go inside, you're wasting time.'

& with that the line goes dead

Kes: spooky

Kars: the streets are empty but he still feels as if he's being watched when he goes into the complex

Kes: Ben would just be a shakey anxious baby at this point i can feel it

Kars: he truly is

Kars: poe followed the trail of blood because he's a persistent fuck

Kars: ben's a mess once he's in his apartment, he's shedding layers of clothes as fast as he can & he feels nauseous when he looks at himself in the bathroom mirror

Kes: didn't he get shot??

Kars: yep

Kes: Damn

Kes: Poe's hardcore parkour

Kars: his breath is shaky when he has to use tweezers to pull the bullets out, he's biting his lip raw & bloody to hold back from screaming

Kars: the rubbing alcohol is probably the worst & his eyes are watering when he has to stitch the wounds closed, his hands too shaky & some of his stitches are painfully tight while the others are loose

Kes: babbyyy

Kars: he winces when he slips into a warm bath

Kars: he doesn't even get to enjoy it because five minutes later poe comes barging in, he's got one of the kitchen knives as a weapon & ben just stares at him

Kars: poe realizes he fucked up because ben's just sitting in mildly bloody bath water

Kars: 'you're the killer, i slept with you, holy fuck.'

he's hyperventilating a little bit, he fucked the fucking serial killer, & he ran in without calling for back up, he's not even supposed to be on the case as it's been almost nearly shelved

Kes: heck

[darkpilot-skype]

Wanna be a part of all our cool AU’s and discussions?

Come join the skype group itself! We’re open to everyone, no registration or selection required! So come, don thee black bathrobe, and have fun!

-Sheep

[darkpilot-skype]

Siren au

Kars: i just thought of a siren that lures in prey by cussing out sailors, i'm in love

Kes: ooooh yesss

innocencexlost: For some reason I thought of Benpoe/Darkpilot at that...

Kars: i just snorted

Kes: perf

Kars: i have a merman au

Kars: kylo almost eats poe

Kars: giant shark/dolphin hybrid son

Kes: ye we should def make an angry siren au though

Kars: i was just thinking of an aggressive tiny barbie looking girl pulling out the worst swears imaginable tbh

Kars: but yes, super rude & aggressive siren kylo who gets dirty looks from other sirens because that's not how you lure on sailors

Kars: 'what do you mean i can't tell them to climb back into their mother's wombs before i rip out their spleens?'

'why, just why?'

Kes: Kylo just gives them smug looks when all his swears end up actually working

Kars: his fellow sirens hate him

Kes: Poe being a traveling merch or explorer and Kylo is getting ready to sink this one too just pops out of the water and starts cursing utter filth at him and goes shell shocked when instead of Poe giving Kylo heart eyes Poe just starts yelling profanities back

Kars: true love

Kars: birb bb-8 joins in

Kes: yes

Kes: Kylo is just so confused because Poe would probably would probably switch between languages when he's cursing too

Kars: sailors & sirens just watch the trainwreck

Kars: start placing bets

Kars: i suddenly remembered my other ocs & must now judge younger me for being a violent fuck

Kes: Poe just thinks it's some swimmer that doesn't like foreigners doesn't notice the gills or anything

[darkpilot-skype]

Mall Cop au

alex: MALL COP AU

Kars: kylo getting super serious over his job

Kars: poe just shows up to bug him

Kars: rollerblades everywhere

Marseal Swagneto Ren: yesssssss

alex: I'm literally wheezibg

Kars: poe is the worst

Kars: kylo wants to quit

Kars: he's so done

alex: poe slips and sucks kylos dick

alex: I mean what

alex: Help I'm sleep deprived

Marseal Swagneto Ren: hahahahah

Marseal Swagneto Ren: i mean

Marseal Swagneto Ren: it’d happen

Marseal Swagneto Ren: actual cop au where poe is trying to give head in the cruiser to his partner kylo

Marseal Swagneto Ren: i m ean

alex: OH MY GOD

Kars

alex: pls

Marseal Swagneto Ren: haha

Kars

alex: I like Poe announcing he into a mic at a bar Kylo is at that he took Kylos v card

Canon universe

cinthya: Testing

Kars: y'all need jesus

alex: Grandma

alex: Fight me child

Marseal Swagneto Ren: yes good

Marseal Swagneto Ren: kylo is in the background

alex: Im literally 50% ANGST and 50% sin

Marseal Swagneto Ren: blushing intensely

alex: Everyone know what they doing in the bathroom

[darkpilot-skype]

Dystopian YA au

Kars: i need a cliche teen ya dystopia novel au

Kars: kylo already has a weird name

Kars: & angst

Kars: hux & poe as his bland romantic interests who argue over him

erin the windbag: haha, yes please

erin the windbag: start with something that is divided

erin the windbag: maybe society, or land, whatever

erin the windbag: add in that kylo is special

alex: not like most boys

alex: he was born from the opposing side

alex: but grew up in the other

alex: thus hes like a hybrid

Kars: he's not like most guys, he's worse

Virgil: The resistance is a group that resists the tyranny of the oppressors

Kars: i don't have time to make out, i have presumably the remains of north america to save from a generic group of adults dressed in white

Kars: i have to watch mockingjay part 2 with my sister, save me

[darkpilot-skype]

Ice Skater au

erin the windbag: oh man has anyone done a ice skating au yet?

erin the windbag: bc that is a thing that needs to happen

cinthya: I feel like it mighta been discussed but please go on 😍

erin the windbag: Let's say that Kylo is ice skater, solo style

erin the windbag: and Poe and Finn does pairs

cinthya: Bless

erin the windbag: Or something, but the point is Kylo wants those two off the ice, they are hogging his rink time

erin the windbag: so he gets progressively sassier

erin the windbag: like, "doubles is so easy, splitting the work into two"

erin the windbag: even though he knows better

erin the windbag: And then maybe a skate off?!?!?!

erin the windbag: (this is so self indulgent)

erin the windbag: And kylo loses his bet, loses the skate off, so now he has to learn a routine with Poe

erin the windbag: (bc Finn is having none of this shit)

erin the windbag: and there's lots of putting hands in certain places and spinning and dipping

erin the windbag: And Kylo struggles to keep his angry face on

cinthya: couples skating is just a cheap tactic to make weak skaters stronger

alex: OH MY GOD

erin the windbag: yeessss

jakkucrew: dgfsghjdsk

*** Kars returns to the good shit ***

Kars: yes

erin the windbag: alternatively, just the movie the cutting edge with kylo and poe

erin the windbag: which may happen, oh no I'm turning into kars with aus

erin the windbag: but fluffier

cinthya: Pls

erin the windbag: the fluff oprah

cinthya: Please be our savior

erin the windbag: I will save you my child

erin the windbag: listen to this: kylo as a pairs figure skater, Poe as a hockey skater

[darkpilot-skype]

Victorian Sherlock au

Kars: so many aus

Kars: so many

Kars: why must kylo in formal victorian wear be so appealing

Erin Johnson: them shoulders

*** Kars sees art with kylo missing a tooth ***

Kars: 👌👌👌👌👀👀👀👀👀👀👌👌👌👌👌👐👐👐👐

Marseal Swagneto Ren: mmmmm formal wear and yess

Marseal Swagneto Ren: bloodied beaten up kylo

Kars: http://kylogetrekt.tumblr.com/post/140837639682/trashgetsrekt-did-you-ever-know-who-you-were

Erin Johnson: Victorian kylo going to underground fistfights

Kars: pretty trash can son

Marseal Swagneto Ren: underground boxing matches a la sherlock holmes

*** Kars casually hoards their aus where kylo gets beat up or near dies ***

Marseal Swagneto Ren: …..sherlock holmes au

Kars: we mentioned that before

Marseal Swagneto Ren: victorian sherlock tho

Marseal Swagneto Ren: not modern ones

Kars: yes

Kars: do it

Marseal Swagneto Ren: we mentioned modern sherlock aus but not

Marseal Swagneto Ren: detective kylo being a dick to Dr. Dameron constantly but Poe is so loyal

Kars: kylo playing the violin at weird hours

Marseal Swagneto Ren: getting into fights

Marseal Swagneto Ren: kylo shooting the wall and drugging the dog

Kars: bb-8 is an official stoner

Marseal Swagneto Ren: yup

Kars: poe is done

Marseal Swagneto Ren: kylo being bitchy at poe when poe is like ‘stop taking cocaine'

Kars: don't touch the doge

Marseal Swagneto Ren: your daily reminder sherlock holmes did coke

Kars: yep

Kars: magical times

Marseal Swagneto Ren: magical

Marseal Swagneto Ren: also

Marseal Swagneto Ren: the ewoks being the little kids he pays for information

Kars: now i'm just thinking of kylo faking his death

[darkpilot-skype]

US president au

erin the windbag: i'm sure this has been done, but I want a us president au

erin the windbag: where Leia is president, and Kylo is her son

erin the windbag: and Poe can be head of state

Kars: i have twenty or more aus, wow

Kars: & oooh

erin the windbag: Finn is head of security

erin the windbag: But Poe is so torn between his job and his crush on the pres's son

erin the windbag: it's all business until Kylo returns from some goodwill tour

erin the windbag: and starts making doe eyes at Poe

erin the windbag: but I also think if given the chance is a dirty talker

erin the windbag: So Poe will be in the oval office and Kylo will lean over, and say

Kars: oh god, 24 aus

Kars: i probably have more

Kars: & keep this pg friendo

erin the windbag: wanna re enact the Clinton administration?

erin the windbag: that is all

Elf: pls send me this

Elf: it's killin me

[darkpilot-skype]

Wanna be a part of all our cool AU’s and discussions?

Come join the skype group itself! We’re open to everyone, no registration or selection required! So come, don thee black bathrobe, and have fun!

-Sheep

[infiniteaonchai]

A cute Kylo cheeb I’ve been wanting to finish! 

Also available on RB!