Forbidden Secrets

[boy-so-pale]

[this-girl-can]

If you have a friend who is already getting help for an eating disorder, this fact sheet is for you:

Supporting a friend with an eating disorder can be challenging, but it can make a big difference to their recovery.

The first thing to do is make sure you understand some key facts about eating disorders:

- Don’t assume that an eating disorder is all about food. It might not seem logical, but food is rarely the underlying issue. Food and negative body image and self talk is often a way of trying to cope with deeper emotional distress.

- People with eating disorders often have strong beliefs that they themselves are deeply flawed and not worthy of attention or help. Your support can help them overcome these beliefs.

- Looking healthy and being well are very different things when it comes to eating disorders. A person recovering from an eating disorder may look like they are back to normal, but the negative thoughts can still be there and they still need your support, sometimes for a long time.

Things you can do:

Here are some tips on what to do to support your friend.

- A person with an eating disorder can feel very isolated and alone. The most important thing you can do is help your friend stay connected with you and other friends. It’s really important for them to keep doing their normal activities as much as possible while being treated for an eating disorder.

- Tell your friend you care about them and will try to support them as much as you can (but beware of making promises you can’t keep, like saying you’ll be there all the time for them).

- Include your friend in invitations and normal group activities just as you would have done before the eating disorder. Don’t be discouraged if they choose not to get involved this time; keep asking.

- Act normally around food, even when you are with your friend. If you are going out somewhere and there is likely to be food involved, don’t avoid asking your friend to come with you. If you are asking a group of friends if they want something to eat or drink, or handing round lollies or chocolates, include this friend, just as you would any other friend. If they say ‘no’, that’s fine. It is not your job to monitor what your friend eats or doesn’t eat.

- Encourage your friend to talk about the normal, daily, non-eating disorder parts of their life as much as possible and avoid focusing on the eating disorder.

- Encourage your friend to talk about their feelings with open questions, such as ‘how are you feeling today?’, and then try to listen to their answer without judging or interrupting, even if you don’t agree with some of what they say.

- Be a voice of encouragement when your friend seems tired of the struggle to recover. Remind them of all the positive things about recovery – for example, things that they used to like to do and will be able to do again once they are well. 

- Discourage negative self-talk by distracting them onto other subjects and by reminding them of their achievements and progress, no matter how small.

- Remind your friend frequently that recovery is possible.

- Let your friend know that they can call or email the Butterfly Support Line for further support and encouragement.

Things to avoid:

It is important to avoid doing or saying things that might make your friend feel ashamed or guilty. For instance, you should try to avoid:

- Being critical of your friend.

- Giving simple solutions to overcoming problems, such as saying things like “all you have to do is eat”

- Making generalisations such as ‘never’ and ‘always’ (e.g. “you’re always moody” or “you never want to do anything but exercise”)

- Saying or implying that what your friend is doing is ‘disgusting’, ‘stupid’ or ‘self-destructive’ 

- Trying to solve your friend’s problems for them

- Getting drawn into a conversation about food, weight, shape or even clothes

- Talking about appearance. Any reference to appearance can be interpreted negatively. Even saying, “You look so well” can mean “You look fat” to someone in recovery. If you want to pay your friend a compliment, try to focus on qualities that don’t relate to the way they look.

Supporting a friend can be hard work sometimes. If you need support or help on how to best support your friend, call our Support Line on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673) or email us at [email protected]

[raforlife]

Every time you get woken up by the duty phone in the middle of the night...

[resident-assistant]

Twenty Things Every New RA Should Know

1. You will see the person you wrote up the night before in the dining hall the next day.

2. Every situation used as examples in BCD will happen. Without fail.

They might not happen all to you, but you will be surprised by the things you will have to deal with.

3. First year RAs may not know how to gauge how they’re doing as an RA against the work of other RAs.

After training, a lot of RA work is on your own, with your residents. Be confident that you’re doing a good job, because you probably are. Comparing yourself to other RAs is kind of useless when every RA deals with different residents and different issues.

4. Never underestimate the power of passive programming.

Plan them ahead, stay on top of your passive programming plan, and then sit back and enjoy watching your residents get involved on their own.

5. When active programming, take the time of the semester into account.

Beginning of school year? Super fun complex team builders and crafting! Midterms? Simple movie night with an empowering theme. Finals? Go room to room and give free food, so people can remain studying.

6. Your relationship with your partner can make or break your year.

Make sure to treat your partner as three things: a. Your friend b. A fellow resident and c. Your business partner. Your partner will need support in all ways, so make sure to identify things you are great at that your partner will need you for. Whether it is getting bugs out of rooms (me for my partner) or being resident expert on mental illness, it’s a give and take.

7. Your personal time has value. Start taking advantage of it from the beginning of the year.

Get off campus at least once a week. It sounds easy, but there were some weeks I didn’t leave my room for anything other than meals and class. Get out of housing areas, if only to pretend you’re a normal college student for a while.

8. Think with your gut and your brain. Weigh decisions.

If you were in an emergency situation and let someone get hurt because you were worried about following policy and breaking rules, you aren’t doing your job properly. Policy is important, but so is knowing when to follow it and when not to.

9. No one in housing knows your residents better than you do.

It is your responsibility to fight for them and defend them. They are your family.

10. Worry about yourself first.

I don’t follow this all the time (I don’t think any RA really can) but people always say it and there is a point to it. If you are having a hard time academically, physically, or mentally, tell your supervisor and your partner and step back to help yourself.

11. You might forget names after they leave your hall. It’s weird.

But that’s what Facebook is for. Forgetting a name doesn’t mean that the resident didn’t matter to you, just that their name didn’t.

12. Be careful partying with residents.

Not only will they get a new idea of who you are, you might see a version of your resident you didn’t want to see.

13. You will be close with some residents, and there might be residents you barely know at all.

I call these residents “ghost residents.” It’s not your fault they don’t want to get involved. Make sure they’re okay and then give them space. Not everyone wants to make friends and socialize. Some people are living in the halls to study, work, and sleep.

14. Your freshmen will come to college with significant others from high school.

Keep lots of tissues and chocolate handy. It’s gonna get ugly around midterms.

15. You will know who of your residents will be future RAs.

Use them. I have this theory called the “three day rule”. Within three days of move-in, if someone asks you about being an RA, smile knowingly because they’re going to apply for the next year. Mentor them and get them involved. They can help you break down barriers for your floor.

16. Don’t go through the rooms with a black light. No good comes from that.

17. Feel free to brag about famous people who were once RAs.

I’m saying this because I do it, and feel like it should be done more.

18. Do not give your phone number out to your floor en masse.

Give your phone number if you are afraid for someone’s life, but don’t just give it out willy nilly because you will get calls about lock outs and complaints via text about roommates. Not something you like to read on your night off.

19. Sing during rounds. Trust me.

20. Life doesn’t end when your life in housing does.

It’ll be weird, but be happy you had the time you did and enjoy being a roommate again.

[kashcrow]

[darkstar1793]

Memory Maker - 2016 | Lisamarie Katie Tomassetti's Fundraiser

TORINO FOUNDATION wrote - WILL YOU SPONSOR A CHILD TO ATTEND CAMP THIS SUMMER? Would you like to help a child with autism experience a summer they will never forget? Or help a child with a critical illness attend a summer camp designed especially for them? Or help a child who's been bullied feel like they belong? Then send them to CAMP!!! SPONSOR ONE CAMPER AND SEND TWO CAMPERS TO CAMP! We have two generous sponsors that have challenged us in a one for one campaign. For every camper sponsored they will match your sponsorship and send another child to camp! If you sponsor two, they will sponsor two! This means that your sponsorship dollars will have more impact than ever! If you'd like to donate now, please click the orange "DONATE" button at the top right of your screen. If you'd like to raise funds for us and join our Memory Maker fundraising team, click the grey button to your right that says "Fundraise for this campaign". This online platform will allow you to easily and securely sponsor a camper, join our team to help raise funds, and also promote this fundraiser on your own email or social media. Please help us spread the word. Thank You, Torino Foundation Staff *Goal is $40,000

[darkstar1793]

Help me send kids to camp!

My sister Katie and I are raising money for a cause that is near and dear to our hearts. We are fundraising to send some AMAZING kids to camp this summer! For those of you who don't know, there is a group of the "worlds greatest volunteers" who volunteer many weekends of their summers to be able to spend it with children with autism and other illnesses. The camps provide the kids with an out of this world summer experience, and their parents to have a stress free weekend. These camps mean a lot to so many people and they cant happen without the support of all of you! grin emoticon If you can donate eve a dollar, it will be doubled and all the proceeds will go to the fantastic camps that these kids look forward to every summer!

Lisamarie & Katie are crowdrising for Memory Maker - 2016: https://www.crowdrise.com/memorymaker2016/fundraiser/tomassettigirls

[darkstar1793]

A lesson for all of us...

I recently posted a quote I received from a hope card that is essentially about never giving up because for every loss, there is hope.

This weekend, I lost two people. One was a resident in my building, the other was my great aunt. One effected me on a personal level, the other, on a professional. One I was close to, the other, I've on met n serval occasions. Although I am saddened by both, I know that there is nothing I or anyone could have done to prevent either death. We continue to live and breath and partake in our routine daily activities. What ever that means....

But my hope card was right, for every loss there IS a victory and for every sadness, there is joy. I am proud to say that my accomplishments as a student leader have brought me the greatest joy of my academic career and have opened so many doors for me. Just this week alone I have been offered 3 amazing opportunities, none of which I will turn down. The key to living and recovering is to get yourself out there. Leave the past in the past and find the future. And although I am still saddened and it will take some time for me to heal, I cant let that stop me from living my own life. Because if I do, then I am wasting my time and taking theirs for granted.

So thank you to the amazing person in my life who gave me the hope card, I opened it at the right moment of my life. Its funny how these things happen

[darkstar1793]

A lesson for all of us is that for every loss, there is a victory, for every sadness, there is joy, and when you think you've lost everything, there is hope.

Geraldine Solon

[how-i-seethisworld]

Mood

[ahaml3t]

AU where Stitch lands in Zootopia!

On Redbubble: http://www.redbubble.com/people/a-haml3t/works/21313606-stitch-in-zootopia?ref=recent-owner

[rubyreed]