if i could burn this town,

i wouldn't hesitate to smile while you suffocate and die.

[darkwaved]

reanimates this blog like frankenstein’s monster

[darkwaved]

     the temptation to give phantasma horns is unreal

[darkwaved]

hyeah.......

[darkwaved]

     the temptation to give phantasma horns is unreal

[darkwaved]

     " i wanna whole week for my birfday an’ not just a day. so i decided my birfweek starts right now ‘cause my birfday’s in a week. “

     that’s not how it works, but how can you say no to that smile ?

[darkwaved]

unfortunate update 

i tested positive.

i’m not sure what this is going to mean for my return to this blog, but as it stands, i’m extremely sick rn. please get v.ax.xed if you haven’t yet, this is literal hell on earth.

[darkwaved]

hey yall! hope everyone’s had a good holiday (and happy holidays if you celebrate russian christmas as well!) i’ll be coming back soon, but i’ve been in and out for a while so i figured i’d let you all know what’s up.

so, i almost crashed and burned last semester. i needed to take 21 credits in the spring to graduate, and i’m only allowed to take 18 credits at once. over winter break, i had to take a clep test to get out of 3 credits, which was painful but i passed. as it stands, my entire winter break has only lasted about a week, and i’m exhausted. also, i’m very ill right now and i’m not sure what’s wrong with me, though i’m praying it’s not the big bad.

anyways, i’ll be back soon -- thank you all for being patient !

[givemeangstymemes]

Send  💬  to read my muse’s thoughts in this very moment

[darkwaved]

1. good mom 2. great mom 3. best mom caveat: buki has to answer this one about phan

      " yeah, all of them is good. she’s a good mom but not when she doesn’t let me have, um, ice cream pops. “ buki pulls up one of her sleeves. “ then she’s not a good mom. "

     “ you can have a mr. dodo pop if you eat your dinner. not for breakfast, not for lunch, and most certainly not when you’re supposed to be brushing your teeth before bed. “ there might be a story here.

     “ see !! “

[darkwaved]

1. Phan will die in any temperature above 100F 2. Likes horror, hates jumpscares though 3. Is more willing to give praise than receive it

     " i'm... uncomfortable at the amount of things you got correct here. "

    a pause.

    “ with that said, three out of three. hot temperatures make my circuits overheat, i can’t do jumpscares for the life of me, and receiving praise makes me feel weird. “

Send 3 assumptions and I'll tell you how many are right

[darkwaved]

     " hot girl summer is no longer upon us. wicked woman winter reigns supreme now. “

     yes, she’s wearing her goth holiday sweater and her big platform boots together. it’s called fashion, sweaty.

[darkwaved]

     as if she’d let anyone close enough to find out for sure.

[darkwaved]

What are your ways to vent out?

     " if you’ve ever attended a concert of mine, you might notice my music has a tendency to get... violent, for lack of a better word. loud, emotional, and not the kind of gig you would want to take your children to. " she shakes her head. “ those emotions are completely raw and unfiltered. my music is how i vent -- and god, do i have a lot to say. “

     “ someday, my sound will deafen the world. they’ll all crumble under the weight of my music, my noise. “ a pause. “ and then, while their ears are bleeding, they’ll understand. “

[darkwaved]

don't worry about your age or personality getting in the way of finding someone. i mean, look at dj subatomic supernova!

     " look -- i’m just going to level with you. you’re not helping. like, at all. in fact, comparing me to someone else is making me feel even worse about it.  "

     there’s a twinge of genuine despair in her voice. 

     “ can you just... drop it ? pretend i didn’t say anything. “ she laughed. “ it doesn’t matter anyways. “

[darkwaved]

Have you thought about YOUR wedding?

     " if anyone was crazy enough to like me for an extended period of time, i would. "

     a pause.

     “ ... i’d like an outdoor wedding... at night. i’d design my own dress, perhaps with light sources attached to illuminate things. it’d be a smaller one, just with my close friends and those of my spouse. i’d make the wedding rings too, tailored to what my spouse likes. “ she crossed her arms over her chest. “ ... we would plan it together. it’d be our wedding. “

     “ but it’s not going to happen. if my personality isn’t a deterrent enough, i’ve missed my window for finding someone. so it’s probably going to stay a simple idea. “

[darkwaved]

are you and buki going trick or treating this year? what are you going as?

     " of course; i always take her trick-or-treating. i 'm still unsure of my costume, but I’d like to go as some sort of terrifying eldritch abomination. or something from a horror film, maybe. “

     “ ‘m gonna be a beetle. “

[darkwaved]

Ms. Phan, favorite dessert item?

     " depends on the season, but the general consensus is “ peach flavored. “ “

     “ peach mr. dodo ice-pops and ice cream in the summer, peach cobbler and cake in the winter. though sometimes, i eat the summer desserts well into the fall. “