Darling be home soon

Taking each day, second by second, after the loss of my mother

[darlingbhomesoon]

Grief is hard. No matter how long it has been. The pain feels like it will be with me #evermore. After having been sick with Covid, I've been going to go the park and just walk and be with nature on my lunch break. Breathe in the cold, fresh air. Clear my mind as much as I can. Sometimes its all you need. #darlingbehomesoon #taylorswift #evermorealbum #grief #DepressionAndMe #anxiety #anxietyandme #missmymama https://www.instagram.com/p/CI6MokwA57s/?igshid=20ocailc4l7q

[thepersonalquotes]

[darlingbhomesoon]

It's why I dont speak of my mom since she has passed. 1. She was the most important person to me. She was my everything and 2. It just hurts too much.

[darlingbhomesoon]

Playing around on the computer, let's be real, playing #thesims4, using part of one of the kitties old cat trees as a computer stand and something kept banging around inside it. 🤓👁Look who I found👀🐱🐈👀#martin. #mycomputerishuge #dontknowhowhegotinside #catsofinstagram #kittensofinstagram #precious #tnr #spayandneuter #crazycatlady #crazychickenlady #crazykittenlady #darlingbehomesoon #darlingbehomesoon.com #mama #wishicouldcallmymama https://www.instagram.com/p/B2IKmMEj4YM/?igshid=zy0pzg1rpcw1

[darlingbhomesoon]

This little girl is 3 months old. Dropped off on my front porch by some neighbors, so scared and frightened... wondering where her mama was. Now, she is independent and so sassy but still comforts me when I cry. I have said it a thousand times and will say it a thousand times more... I am so thankful that I have the ability to take care of these kitties and that they give me a reason to live when everything else seems so dark. I wonder all the time why i have been entrusted with their care, even after I let my mom down, when she needed me the most. I carry the weight of her death everyday and cant help but worry I'll let everyone else down too. I loved my mom more than anything and wish so hard, that she were still here. I can only do my best, even if I feel it's not enough. #birdie #birdielou #darlingbehomesoon #anxietyandme #saturday #crazycatlady #crazychickenlady #depressionandme #kittensofinstagram #catsofinstagram #birdieofinstagram #imissher #imissmymama #var #abdominalaorticaneurysm #shewasmyperson #shewasmybestfriend #itsoknottobeokay #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth https://www.instagram.com/p/B2HUjY8DCMh/?igshid=1fxrfbfgmmzlg

[darlingbhomesoon]

#Einstein acts like he doesn't like Birdie and Martin. I'm choosing to ignore his little growls. #einsteinmovedafteritookthispicture #Birdie #martin #crazycatlady #catsofinstagram #kittensofinstagram #darlingbehomesoon https://www.instagram.com/p/B197J_Qj_ly/?igshid=1mcsswhnloxfu

[darlingbhomesoon]

Good Morning from #Birdie and her bff #martin. I found Martin about a month ago, in my backyard... he was so sick I was worried he wasnt going to make it. I have nursed the little guy back to health and now these two are inseparable. It is so important to spay and neuter your pets. These two and so many more are the reasons why. I stayed home from work the day I found Martin. This could have ended very differently for him if I would have gone to work that day. Spaying and neutering prevents needless deaths - from these poor babies trying to survive out in mother nature or by euthanasia... 😿Even if you think your pet will never end up outside... PLEASE, just do it. It's always when you least expect it. #spayandneuter #theyarelove #missmymama #mymamawasalsoacrazycatlady #catsofinstagram #kittensofinstagram #darlingbehomesoon #tnr #trapandrelease #crazycatlady #crazychickenlady #depressionandme #anxiety #birdie #birdielou #martin #martin&birdie https://www.instagram.com/p/B16eSp2DRd-/?igshid=1xkwqfeifiwsc

[darlingbhomesoon]

In honor of #nationalgingercatappreciationday here is my Oliver. He is probably one of the most loving cats I have had. He is also a favorite among the kitty colony which makes me think I should have named him Paul... Paul Mcatney... ❤❤❤ See what I did there... 👀👈🥰😆I am lucky to have him and the rest of the crazy cats as I dont know that I wouldn't have the strength, emotionally, to get out of bed. Even with them, it's such a struggle but they make living worth it because it was something my mom truly believed in and shared with me... taking care of these wonderful animals and giving them the best life I possible can. #thisisallformymama #imissher #crazycatlady #crazychickenlady #darlingbehomesoon #depressionandme #kittensofinstagram #depression #anxiety #tearsinheaven #catsofinstagram #abdominalaorticaneurysm #shewasmyperson #shewasmybestfriend #itsoknottobeokay https://www.instagram.com/p/B15ZvKfD-_9/?igshid=764n870y6hbt

[darlingbhomesoon]

[darlingbhomesoon]

The past couple of weeks have been pretty rough... I haven't posted anything in a while and I had swore to myself that I would be faithful about posting and keeping up with my blog.  Grief is such a fluid thing though and right now I feel completely enveloped in it.  I am letting my anger towards someone get the better of me and I am truly struggling with it and am not sure what to do about it.  I try so hard to fake being happy and that I am okay with this person that I finally shut down and don't say a word to them.  They use everything to their advantage, your truths, your feelings and emotions and they act as a concerned friend when really, it's all to get themselves ahead.  To kick someone when they are down.  I was really upset with someone because they had told me that I needed to start faking being happy and more like my old self.  I thought they were being insensitive but now, maybe they were telling me for my benefit.  Because there are so many people who take advantage of every piece of someone they can use to further themselves along. I know that I am better than this person. I have always tried to live my life being kind to others.  I work hard at my job to get where I need to be.  I don't step on others or use their truths to my advantage to get ahead. I will just remind myself of that before I walk into work and every time I walk into the office... I won't let this person ever get the best of me again.  I can do this, for my mom.  With all of that said, I finally added a blog post so please - read my posts, comment, follow!  https://darlingbehomesoon.com/2019/07/dirty-work/