Me...Reinvented

[darlingnikki573]

Just having a "feeling myself " moment... sometimes I need to remember who tf I am because folks try to take me off my square constantly 😒

[self-healing]

you need to start believing that nothing is too good for you

[darlingnikki573]

Working on it...

[darlingnikki573]

Some days you just wanna keep life simple 🥰

[darlingnikki573]

Self confidence... No, my body is not perfect... but I am uniquely and wonderfully made. A joyful heart and pure intentions carries their own kind of beauty... ❤

[darlingnikki573]

Reflection ... Today is a day for getting back in alignment with my assignments. Professionally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Making myself a priority IS the priority today.

[darlingnikki573]

Vulnerability... To truly experience the joys of life I think you have to open yourself totally to the possibilities... be vulnerable and accepting of whatever the universe has to offer... 💕💕

[darlingnikki573]

Renewal... Today is better... My love and I are working through things... yet, I can't help but feel like things are different. The love is there, for sure, but the energy and vibe is different. The connection we had that was built on total trust and belief in each other has been tarnished a bit on both sides by everything that's happened... I miss having no worries about where his heart is... I miss the way I would just catch him looking at me like he was the luckiest man in the world... the way he would just hold me close and tell me how much he needed me in his life and how beautiful I was to him... I miss that... I miss him being excited to show off our love for each other...I miss really feeling like he's still in love with me... even though his words tell me he does, but now it's mostly if I ask him... I didn't use to have to ask... and it makes me sad, even when we're laying next to each other, like right now 😔.

[blackluv]

sunsets 🤍

[darlingnikki573]

This NEEDS to be my weekend... Even if I go solo 😖

[kyytheecancer]

[that-scorpio]

Yes I need one

[darlingnikki573]

I miss those ❤❤

[darlingnikki573]

[selenophile-2021]

[darlingnikki573]

Always

[blackluv]

!!

[darlingnikki573]

All this ❤❤❤... when it's right, of course.

[darlingnikki573]

Day 2: Acceptance Well, today I must accept what is... Pick up the pieces and begin again at 48. Just when I thought I'd charted my course to this great destiny of mine, it's blown up in my face. My doing, for sure... but part of me is proud that I stood up for myself and my needs, although the results were far from ideal. Just one too many times I couldn't just trust. But on the other hand, that mistrust revealed some deceptions that hurt me to the core... so should I still be feeling like we could fix it? Probably not, but I do. But it's not what he wants, so... New friends, please excuse my rambling on... my mind and heart is scattered to the winds at this moment. I'm sure you all can understand the shock and confusion that comes along with acceptance of what the heart can't possibly accept, but must.

[darlingnikki573]

Life is too short for anything less..

[darlingnikki573]

Today is the day I rediscover me... This is my journey into the 2nd Act of my existence... This is my journal, and no one may read it but me, and that's totally fine... Today's theme... Heartbreak... A subject I've become all too familiar with in the past ten years... The loss of a child... the burying of a best friend, the great loss of the greatest loves of my life, all in less than a decade's time... It's enough to make one wonder "is it that I don't deserve something great and lasting in my life?" But I'm no victim of my miserable circumstances, some of which I had a heavy hand in creating. I've played my part in hurt and heartbreak as well... Is this my karma, perhaps? To grow old alone? A thought too filled with sadness to even fathom. I'm allowing myself this one day and night to lament over yet another great love, seemingly lost but hopefully not. But I must stand my ground... as much as it grieves my heart at the moment. I crave love... but I MUST have honesty, loyalty, respect, transparency- all the things I give away so freely... Dont I have a right to them as well?.. Although my heart wants nothing more than to throw all that to the wind for just another night in his arms... Maybe he'll see this, and say all the words that would end my suffering... maybe he'll see this and not be moved one bit... But this is the road I'm on, traveling through this beautiful journey with all its cracked pavement and dreaded potholes... But it's mine... so I must embrace it.