absolutely fab! @darrmie - Tumblr Blog

Michelle is actually funnier than me. Mainly because she teases me, but I can’t tease her. (I think that’s fair.) I can’t say anything about her because she gets mad. (Nope, you can’t.) So I guess she’s funnier.

yungsolo4l

my absolute faves

nomediocre

perfect-blackgirls-deactivated2

Tina Kunakey @tinakunakey for VanityFair Italia

givenxchyme

evilrashida

Adut Akech Bior, Aya Jones, Selena Forrest, Aube Jolicoeur, Mayowa Nicholas, Achok Majak, Adesuwa Aighewi , Oumie Jammeh, Shanelle Nyasiase, Samile Bermannelli, Aiden Curtiss, Elizabeth Ayodele, Theresa Hayes, Olivia Anakwe, Nicole Atieno, and Imade Ogbewi @ Miu Miu Spring/Summer 2018

quickweaves

The casting director @ MiuMiu S N A P E D

galacticjerk

why tf do I get so emotional at night. who is this night bitch?? she needs to go to sleep.

words-of-emotion

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep the faith. It will all be worth it in the end.

(via 18dummie)

ineffablythoughtless

How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body?

Laurel Hoodwrit (via ineffablythoughtless)

ilooktothesea

I don’t know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public. They forget that invisibility is a superpower.

Banksy (via

f-etal

)

!!!

(via darrmie)

darrmie

RECOVERING FROM COULDA-WOULDA-SHOULDA (alias REGRET FROM BAD DECISION

Everyone makes bad decisions at a point in time in their lives but there are some certain decisions we’ve made that has made regret almost a roommate in our lives. It could be when you put yourself in a situation in which you made a decision that was not aligned to your authentic self. A decision that went totally against how you conduct yourself, your morals, virtue, and beliefs. A decision you chose merely because of your curiosity. Life is filled with moments in which you feel as if you are standing in a fork in a road, looking down two potential paths, and wondering which way you should go. Sometimes you find yourself lost, uncertain which path will get you the result you want. Other times, you are certain which path that will lead you further away and, yet, you get so curious, you allow curiosity take the better part of you. Life is filled with choices and we are bound to make a few mistakes. I attended a program two days ago where some people were asked to give examples from their own experiences concerning a certain issue and all i could hear from those examples was plain ‘regrets’ and i started to think how regret could be such a burden. As i was engrossed in my usual reading and observing of blogs i came across this “The 6 steps to Regret-Proof your life by Martha Beck ” (Extracted from oprah.com) and decided to share it. I hope this write up came just timely. Enjoy:)

“ So here’s the story: After a lifetime of handcopying ancient texts, an elderly monk became abbot of his monastery. Realizing that for centuries his order had been making copies of copies, he decided to examine some of the monastery’s original documents. Days later, the other monks found him in the cellar, weeping over a crumbling manuscript and moaning, "It says 'celebrate,’ not 'celibate!’”

Ah, regret. The forehead-slap of hindsight, the woeful fuel of country ballads, the self-recrimination I feel for eating a quart of pudding in a crafty but unsuccessful attempt to avoid writing this column. If you’ve ever made a bad decision or suffered an accident, regret has been your roommate, if not your conjoined twin. It’s a difficult companion, prone to accusatory comments and dark moods, and it changes you, leaving you both tougher and more tender. You get to decide, however, whether your toughness will look like unreachable bitterness or unstoppable resilience; your tenderness the raw vulnerability of a never-healing wound, or a kindness so deep it heals every wound it touches. Regret can be your worst enemy or your best friend. You get to decide which.

There are at least two time zones where you can choose to make regret’s powerful energy healing rather than destructive: the past and the future. Both can be transformed by what you decide to do right now, in this moment.

Let’s start by changing the past. If you think that can’t be done, think again. Literally. The past doesn’t exist except as a memory, a mental story, and though past events aren’t changeable, your stories about them are. You can act now to transform the way you tell the story of your past, ultimately making it a stalwart protector of your future. Try these steps, more or less in order. 1. Get Beyond Denial As long as you’re thinking, “That shouldn’t have happened or I shouldn’t have done that,” you’re locked in a struggle against reality. Many people pour years of energy into useless “shouldn’t haves.” The angry ones endlessly repeat that their ex-spouses shouldn’t have left them, their parents shouldn’t have overfed them, or their bosses shouldn’t have made them wear uncomfortable chipmunk costumes in 90-degree heat. Even drearier are the sad ones, who forever drone some version of “If only.”

I call this unproductive regret. People use it to avoid scary or difficult action; instead of telling the story of the past in a useful way, they use it as their excuse for staying wretched. If you’re prone to unproductive regret, please hear this: Everyone agrees with you. That thing you regret? It really, really, really shouldn’t have happened. But. It. Did. If you enjoy being miserable, by all means, continue to rail against this fact. If you’d rather be happy, prune the “shouldn’t haves” from your mental story, and move on to…

2. Separate Regret’s Basic Ingredients Of the four basic emotions—sad, mad, glad, and scared—regret is a mixture of the first two. Your particular situation may involve enormous sadness and a little anger. Whatever the proportions, some regretters feel sadness but resist feeling anger; others acknowledge outrage but not sorrow. Denying either component will get you stuck in bitter, unproductive regret.

Considering anger and sadness separately makes both more useful. Right now, think of something you regret. With that something in mind, finish this sentence: “I’m sad that __________.” Repeat until you run out of sad things related to that particular regret.

When you’ve fully itemized your sadness, make another list, beginning each sentence with the phrase, “I’m angry at ________.”

Once you have a clear list of your sorrows and outrages, you can move on to step 3, where you’ll work both angles to transform unproductive regret into the productive kind. This is extraordinarily useful but also profoundly uncomfortable because the only way out of painful emotion is through.

3. Grieve What is Irrevocably Lost Sorrow is a natural reaction to losing anything significant: a dream, a possession, an opportunity. Productive grief passes through you in waves, which feel horrific, but which steadily erode your sadness. The crushing mountain of sorrow eventually becomes a boulder on your back, then a rock in your pocket, then a pebble in your shoe, then nothing at all—not because circumstances change but because you become strong enough to handle reality with ease.

You’re finished grieving when you see someone gaining what you regret losing and feel only joy for them—maybe even secret gratitude that circumstances forced you to enlarge your own capacity for joy (this is how I feel about people who don’t have a kid with Down syndrome). If your sadness stops evaporating, if a certain amount of it just isn’t budging, simply grieving may not be enough. Regret is telling you to seek out a part of whatever you’ve lost.

4. Reclaim the Essence of Your Dreams You can’t change the fact that you binged your way up to 300 pounds, or lost a winning lottery ticket, or spent decades in celibacy rather than celebration. But you can reclaim the essential experiences you missed: loving your own healthy body, enjoying abundance, feeling glorious passion. In this moment, resolve that you’ll find ways to reclaim the essence of anything you can’t stop grieving.

I’ve been coaching long enough to brazenly promise that if you decide to reclaim the essence of anything you regret losing, you’ll find it—often sooner than you think, in ways you would never have expected.

The anger component of regret is every bit as important and useful as your sadness. Anger is a bear, but if you pay attention, you’ll hear it roaring useful instructions about how you should steer your future. Don’t fear it, run from it, tranquilize it, try to kill it. Just leave the kids with a sitter, team up with a sympathetic friend, spouse, therapist, or journal, and let your angry animal self bellow its messages. There will be a lot of meaningless sound and fury, but there will also be information about exactly what needs to change in your present and future so that you’ll stop suffering from old regrets and create new ones. Basically, your anger will roar out this next instruction…

6. Learn to Lean Loveward When I saw A Chorus Line, I wondered if it’s literally true that “I can’t regret what I did for love.” So I did a little thought experiment. I recalled all my significant regrets, and sure enough, I found that none of them followed a choice based purely on love. All were the consequence of fear-based decisions. In the cases where my motivations were a mix of love and fear, it was always the fear-based component that left me fretful and regretful.

For example, I’ll be up most of tonight, having spent the daylight hours eating pudding in reaction to writer’s block, which is a species of fear. I predict that tomorrow I’ll regret this—I’ve spent many, many sleepless nights fearing this or that, and no good ever came of it. But I’ve also lost a lot of sleep for love. I’ve stayed up communing with friends, rocking sick babies, avoiding celibacy. And I really can’t regret any choice that brought me one moment of love. Do your own thought experiment, and I suspect you’ll come to similar conclusions. (Let’s face it, a song that catchy just can’t be all wrong.)

So the ultimate lesson of regret, the one that will help guide you into a rich and satisfying future, is this: Every time life brings you to a crossroads, from the tiniest to the most immense, go toward love, not away from fear. Think of every choice in terms of “What would thrill and delight me?” rather than “What will keep my fear—or the events, people, and things I fear—at bay?”

Sometimes the choice will be utterly clear. Love steers you forward, and no fear arises. But on many occasions, things will seem trickier. The path toward what you love may be fraught with uneasiness, anxiety, outright terror. The pound dog will tug at your heart, but worry about upkeep will push away the first sparks of love and leave you without a four-footed friend. You’ll long for success but dread the risks necessary to earn it. Your impulse to champion the oppressed might compete with panic for your own sorry hide.

That’s when you can call on regret—not as a burden that you still have to bear but as a motivator that can forcefully remind you not to make choices that will feel awful in retrospect. If you’ve grieved your losses, reclaimed your dreams, and articulated your anger, regret will have made you the right kind of tough-and-tender: dauntless of spirit, soft of heart, convinced by experience that nothing based on fear—but everything based on love—is worth doing. Living this way doesn’t guarantee an easy life; in fact, it will probably take you on a wondrously wild ride. But I promise, you won’t regret it. “

Thanks for reading.

darrmie

Lack of Attention!!!

My new challenge of recent seems to be my struggle to pay attention. This has been going on for weeks now and I haven’t been able to place why. Am always attracted to the tiniest form of distraction even when am on something quite important then confusion sets in. Since Google has been my G for some time now, I went there for help where I actually found some very helpful articles and I felt like sharing them with you guys. I hope you find this helpful. Enjoy:) What forbes.com thinks: - It’s human nature. How to stay focused: - Exercise - Get rid of the clutter Read more on here: http://www.forbes.com/2008/10/15/short-attention-span-forbeslife-cx_avd_1015health.html

What the Redheat Riter thinks (theredheadriter.com):

“Why We Don’t Pay Attention

Attention doesn’t include everything we want to do right this second or cover everything within our visual field. Being able to pay attention during an action means that we can focus on one thing and keep our mind on it through the duration. Losing the ability to keep our full attention focused often diminishes the experience.

Some of the reasons that we are unable to pay more attention to the tasks, experiences, duties and responsibilities at hand include:

Too comfortable in our surroundings and take it for granted. Overconfident in our abilities. Thinking too much about the big picture. Fear that we will not get it all done. Filling our lives with too many activities. Not living in the moment. Having too much clutter around us. Believing that true multitasking is a reality. (Can you eat a sandwich, whistle and chew gum at the same time? No, you can’t.) Not having a place for everything to reside when not in use. Not putting back things into their proper place after use. Boredom. There’s not a lot of emotion tied in with the experience. Being too tired. We are not at optimal health. Believing that looking and seeing are the same thing. Wow! Do we really have so much stuff to do that we are unable to pay attention when it is necessary? Actually, no matter how many tasks are bearing down on you, the outcome will be better if you pay more attention to the details. In some instances, not paying attention to the details can be the difference between living and dying.

Ways To Pay More Attention: There are definite advantages to paying more attention to the details and as I like to say, “Take the time to stop and smell the roses.” There are several character or life modifications that can be made to ensure that we pay more attention to what we are doing right this minute.

-Don’t rush. Slo-o-o-o-o-o-ow down. -Take breaks frequently. -Get plenty of sleep. You’ve heard it before – 7 to 8 hours minimum each night. -Exercise. Walking around the block is a good start. -Stop procrastinating. -Get help if you have too much to do, so that you can take the time you need to fulfill the task. -Eat nutritious food and remain hydrated. -Avoid harmful substances. -Alternate between easy or unfulfilling tasks and tedious or exciting tasks. -Learn relaxation skills through hypnosis. -Practice. Practice picking out details just like a criminal investigator does while investigating a crime. -Make a conscious effort to notice things that may cause a problem or be an obstacle. -Sharpen your mental functions through brain exercises. -Organize your life. -Don’t over fill your life with activities. Quality is better than quantity.” Have a Great weekend. Bless!xx

darrmie

Eulogy

Hello Good Morning! I want to ramble about eulogy today. Whenever I hear eulogy about Christ my heart tightens. My spirit feels his presence most especially when it is in my dialect even though I don’t understand some of its words I get get this indescribable feeling. Recently I learnt the meaning of “kabiyeosi” I have always said this word whenever am praying as long as I can remember and I love it. I have always believed it meant just “King” but apparently it’s deeper than that. It means a God who is unquestionable. I then pondered on the word. We humans have questioned God countless of time without realizing it is His “will” that will be done not ours and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. but He has given us this assurance that His thoughts towards us are of good not of evil. So why worry? I lost a friend recently and I almost cried my eyes out. I kept on questioning God why it had to be her because she was an only child and her parents are already old. I later realized I was wasting my moment with God. God had His plan and it was His will that came to pass. I can’t change that neither can any doctor or her parents. I could have been praying for comfort for her folks. So people don’t waste your time questioning Gods decision, instead ask for understanding and direction. This world isn’t ready for what God has in stock for you. Persevere and pray. God bless. I will appreciate your thoughts! I will also like to share this write up by Aditi Ghosh coiled from thought catalog. Though it an old post but it came to my heart to share it. Aditi Ghosh is a writer on thoughtcatalog.com. Here is “A prayer for inner peace” by Aditi Gosh….. Enjoy!

You are the silent prayer, where the mind wanders when it finds respite. You are the miracle that unveils the wonders of life. You are the rain that streams through the clouds and the sun that blankets the sky. You are the sound that dims the noise we don’t want to hear. You are the light that intimidates all evil. You are the silent observer who transpires every now and again. You are always there. Belief sways between contemplation and closure. You are omnipresent and unbiased, but mostly because you are inaudible. You don’t announce your presence through words, but let the tale unfold slowly instead.

Sometimes, it seems you unleash your wrath when we are caught off-guard. At other times, you astonish us with marvels we never expected. You dim the lights and urge us to trudge through the blinding darkness, only so that we can reach the illumination. And when the twilight of life consumes us, your ubiquitous influence radiates through the murky path.

You watch us thank others, but you never seem to mind not being thanked. Perhaps it’s because you don’t view any of us as distinct from yourself. 

You grant us the gift of discovering who we are. You ask no questions and you give no answers. You only envelope us in the fortune and doom that we create for ourselves.

You forgive us although we always forget to forgive each other. You are that unforgettable smile that warms our hearts. In our pursuit of seeking the answers, you are the tranquil pause between the question mark and the first word. You are the cloud that bursts when we’re not ready. You are the wings we discover when we must learn how to fly. You are what drapes adversity, you are what helps us go on.

You don’t say things as we like to hear them, but you link us with people who don’t let us forget. You are an unseeable force ironically personified. You are the glorious truth juxtaposed against lies.

I never believed that you send reminders of your presence, until you really did. The biggest miracle isn’t that we make a choice to believe in you. It is that you send messengers to us every day, who we can recognize only if we look closely.

zodiacsignstoday-blog

The Zodiac Signs Falling/Being in Love

Aries: Appetite Loss - All you think about is him or her. Producing more dopamine, you feel little need for food or other basic necessities while floating through each day on a cloud of hope.

Taurus: Abandon Regular Routines - You may abandon your work or your responsibilities. Your thoughts and actions become devoted to your love interest.

Gemini: Fresh Complexion - You feel different and it shows. Others might catch you smiling or blushing for no apparent reasons.

Cancer: You Think of that Person as Perfect - You project your idea of the perfect one onto them and you overlook their weaknesses or flaws.

Keep reading

inspiring-pictures

Read and Learn more about my Zodiac Signs! :)

georgiecrosswell-deactivated202

Feel the Fear

After leaving university (or even during) you end up floundering around a bit and wondering where to go next with your life. Now is the time to take some leaps of faith and try some new things. Be a bit crazy! Go wild! Sure, you should definitely do a bit of the going wild and the trying stuff, but there is no point denying that the moves you make now will set you on the path to your future, and there’s also no point doing anything but bravely facing this fact. Gonna happen anyway, isn’t it? Whether you’re thinking about an internship, a new flat, new job, travelling, starting your own business, whatever, pretty much any decision you make is gonna be a scary one. But if everything is scary, how do you know which scary thing you should be doing?! What will set you on the right path? How can you tell when you’re the good kind of scared?

Right now I’m back living with my parents because moving to London is a bit like moving into a financial black hole. Paying London rent seems like a move of comparable value to my future as, say, chopping off an arm, or withdrawing every last penny of my savings and building a huge bonfire with it. (Well, it wouldn’t be huge - an average to small sized bonfire.) Despite all this, there is still nothing I want more than to dive right back into this wonderful city I called home for three years; to live near my friends and have my very own space, be able to get on a night bus home at 2am and stumble into a fried chicken shop at 3am. I was so desperate to do all these glorious things that a while ago I started applying to a load of jobs in London so I could afford it. I know now that each and every one of these jobs I would have been miserable doing and probably also been terrible at. (But hallelujah, my CV was clearly shite and I got no replies!)

Applying for them was a scary move. They were big scary jobs with big scary salaries, but I thought I was just being brave and getting on with life. For many people, this would have been a good move and the right kind of scary, but personally I was driven only by a desperation to move out, and from stupidly allowing myself to think things like ‘that’s what everyone else is doing’ and ‘that’s just what you’re supposed to do now.’ I wasn’t thinking about the kind of life I was setting myself up for. This was the bad kind of fear, not the good kind.

So how can you tell the good kind? I think the fear you want is the kind of warm, fizzy nerves you get when you’re about to do something scary that will ultimately stretch you into a better person no matter the outcome. Like asking someone out, or doing an open mic, or moving to a new city, or climbing a mountain. Now, for example, amongst other things, I’m now thinking of getting a domain and blogging more seriously. This idea is really nerve wracking - putting your writing out into the world is kind of like sending your baby out to sea in a boat and hoping to Christ it reaches shore safely - but much more importantly, it really excites me!! I’m suddenly brimming with ideas and itching to get going, and I think that feeling is worth sacrificing independence for just a little longer.

If applying for a certain job, or masters programme, or moving out is just filling you with a cold, dead terror with none of that fizz then it might be time to reconsider. Feel the fizz, and you’re probably onto a winner. (That rhymed, and now it sounds lame.) Basically, don’t not do things because they are scary - just make sure you are the right kind of scared!

Georgie x

onlinecounsellingcollege

How to Muster Motivation

1. Visualize yourself succeeding. Imagine what you will be doing, how you will look, how others will be reacting or relating to you, how you will feel …

2. Break your main goal down into lots of smaller, more manageable pieces. Then, just do “the next thing”. Don’t get bogged down by everything you still have to do!

3. Remind yourself that every tiny bit of effort, and work, counts. It all adds up and makes a difference in the end.

4. Make a start – even if you’re just committing yourself to doing 10 minutes of something you don’t want to do. Often the hardest part is overcoming the initial feeling of dread or inertia.

5. Put on some of your favourite upbeat music. That can help to get your moving, and also change your mood.

6. Get a friend – who also wants to improve their motivation – to join in the commitment to see this project through. It’s easier when others are hanging in there with you – and you also keep each other more accountable.