Darth Pseudonym

Not an actual Sith lord, but an incredible substitute!

[thecolorofthegame]

I know this trophy is supposed to represent a triathlon, but it looks like a cyclist award for attacking pedestrians

[marithlizard]

It's been a while since I said "this person wins the internet", but today it is merited.

(via bsky)

(The classic XKCD comic)

[bemusedlybespectacled]

PLEASE tell us how vegetables are a social construct

so a long time ago humans were trying to figure out edible plant matter, right

and because they didn’t have fucking microscopes or anything they were like “okay we have to divide them in some way that is easy for us to figure out”

so they COULD have divided them up by like, color or some shit

like all the red things are called noogles and all the orange ones are called fuckips and all the yellow ones are called snarglebutts or whatever

but they didn’t

they divided them by taste, which makes sense if you’re trying to sort edible plant matter, the whole point is eating them so why not sort them by the most likely reason you need to know the difference between them

so all the sweet tasting things are called fruits and all the not sweet tasting things are called vegetables

except like other than that there’s no rhyme or reason to it at all??

like potatoes are roots and broccoli is a flower and pumpkins are fruits and celery are stalks

but we’re putting them together because they don’t taste sweet

and lemons are juicy and wet but not sweet but they’re fruit for some reason but tomatoes aren’t even though they’re also juicy but not sweet and carrots aren’t even though carrots can be sweet

meanwhile apples are genetically more closely related to fucking roses than they are to shit like blueberries but because they both taste good in pie we put apples and blueberries in the same group and roses are a different thing 

like, there’s a good reason why we sort plants this way, and that reason is “it’s easier to make food if you know vaguely what it tastes like beforehand,” and sorting plants by genetic family also makes sense if your reasoning is “i want to know what plants are related,” but they’re both sorting groups that humans made up and we could just as easily sort by color or shape if we decided that was an important thing we needed to know and that’s why it’s a social construct

[baddywronglegs]

And then we started sorting bits of plants into fruit or vegetable on the incompatible axis of what part of the plant they are, so now we have tomatoes which are a botanical fruit but a culinary vegetable and rhubarb which is a botanical vegetable but a culinary fruit. One of these is a fleshy seed-bearing ripened ovary of a flowering plant and one of these goes in “fruit” crumbles and “fruity” drinks.

[magnetothemagnificent]

Meanwhile, Judaism sorts plants into “fruit of the grapevine”, “fruit of the tree”, and “fruit of the ground”.

What constitutes “fruit of the tree” versus “fruit of the ground” has been a matter of centuries of halakhic debate, but this is why most hold that bananas, papayas, and strawberries are considered “fruit of the ground”, while avocados are very solidly “fruit of the tree”.

So yeah. Vegetables are a social construct.

[should-be-sleeping]

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌

[should-be-sleeping]

Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.

[should-be-sleeping]

I mean this with all due respect:

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.

You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.

[joanthreatt]

Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

*takes the hand of a period drama writer gently* A queen consort is not a queen regnant. A dowager queen is not a queen regnant either.

There is very little intrinsic institutional power in queenship. The power a consort, dowager, or queen mother has depends mostly on how much the reigning sovereign (usually a man) is willing to grant her. Needing a queen to serve as regent is exceptionally rare, and the regent is more often a male relative.

I know this is a bit of a bummer. I'm sorry.

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

For clarity:

Queen regnant: woman who rules in her own right, not on behalf of someone else.

Regent: Someone who temporarily assumes the powers of the monarch on account of the monarch being too young or too incapacitated to govern.

Queen consort: Woman who is married to the monarch.

Dowager queen: Woman who was married to the monarch. The monarch is dead, and she is owed support as his widow.

Queen mother: Woman who is the mother of the monarch. Usually the dowager queen, though there are exceptions if there isn't a straight line of succession.

[penny-anna]

they should have made another search engine called Ask Wooster where it gives you the wrong answer every time

[redpandarascal]

in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.

[hong--zhi--zhu]

[frustratedasatruar]

[nyanletnest]

[beautiful-wildlife]

Lynx by Raymond Barlow

[chronocrump]

[txttletale]

or to be a little less pithy, groundedness means a sense of internal consistency, the idea that events and traits of a story or world are grounded in a coherent set of logics.

while realism means--exactly that, adherence to the specific logics of actual reality and its physics, logistics, etc.

there is of course nothing wrong with wanting realism in a story, but 99% of the people who say they do really want groundedness. like the vast majority of dumb arguments about asoiaf/got are its fans saying "its realistic" when they mean "its grounded" and people ridiculing them because it is in fact not very realistic (and not just because of the overt fantasy elements)

[prokopetz]

In my experience, another big part of the problem with talking about "realism" in fictional milieux is the product of a specific Type of Guy employing the term as a sort of semantic bait and switch, sometimes without consciously realising that this is what they're doing.

There's a particular recurring discussion of "realism" in media that goes something like this: "okay, but realistically the heroes would always win because they'd just shoot the villain while they're monologuing" – while refusing to acknowledge the obvious follow-up question: "wait, but if monologuing reliably gets you shot, where do all the monologuing villains come from?"

i.e., what we're really discussing is not a milieu which has adhered to some notional model of "realism" ab initio, but one which was apparently governed by the conventional tropes of its genre right up until the moment the character the person framing the scenario wants to win walks into the room, whereupon "realism" asserts itself.

Heck, there were folks doing this song and dance in the notes of the post this one is following up on, trotting out hypotheticals like "in a realistic fantasy setting the twelve-year-old chosen one would always lose because experience trumps skill and the power of friendship isn't real", implicitly taking it as given that in a milieu where this is true, people would still be handing out magic swords to twelve-year-olds.

It's basically treating those silly "How [Media] Really Should Have Ended" YouTube videos as a legitimate critical lens, and in circles where this song and dance is common, it leads to a lot of people reflexively shutting down the moment they hear the word "realism" because they assume (often quite reasonably!) that oh great, it's That Guy again.

[archipithecus]

softshell and hardshell books

paperback and hardcover turtles

[dreamlogic]

im in the bathroom listening to the following conversation between my roommate and my cat in the hallway outside trying to stifle my laughter.

roommate: is there a problem?

cat: RAH!

roommate: oh no, is the door shut? did charlie lock you out of the bathroom?

cat: mweh...

roommate: well you see, i could fix that problem for you—

cat: MYEH!

roommate: —but due to social rules that you probably couldn't understand even if i explained them,

cat: gWAAH... mow..

roommate: yeah, dude, i hear you, but it's not gonna happen.

cat: MRRRR..!

roommate: i know i have opposable thumbs, but my hands are tied, thumbs and all. i'm sorry, i wish it didn't have to be this way.

[sound of roommate's door closing, followed by desperate scrabbling claws on the bathroom door]

[luncheon-aspic]

??????

[mammalianmammals]

Silky Anteater a.k.a. Pygmy Anteater (Cyclopes didactylus), family Cyclopedidae, found in southern Mexico, Central America, and the northern half of South America

* Nocturnal

[darthpseudonym]

okay but why is he conducting a symphony

[everythingfox]

He’s having a pedicure

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[cryoverkiltmilk]

#the ancient texts

... My reblog was only six years ago!

[imsobadatnicknames2]

My favorite joke in Metalocalypse is how as the show goes on it becomes increasingly obvious they’re naming characters with the sole purpose of torturing Mark Hamill.

[imsobadatnicknames2]

It’s been almost two years since I posted this but here’s a list of the official spelling of every character he introduces here:

Dr. Gibbitz

Dr. Amon Skagerakk Fredrickshaven

Dr. Donald Gorthian

Ronald Von Momnaldberg

Dr. Natasha Nesciantskidovich

Vicenzo de Alimamala Corningston III 

Professor Jerry Gustav Mangledink

Horace Marmingblat Wimplestein, Jr.

Dr. Chazz Fazzledopenhoffer

Vater Oorlag

Dr. Milminaman-lanilim-swinwamly

Dr. Gibbitz again (but for some reason it’s spelled “Gibbetz” in the season 2 subtitles)

Melmord Fjordslorn

Dr. Ralphus Galkinsmelter

Dr. Amomolith Chesterfield

Wilmore Unduntingiminen

Dr. Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden

Dr. Imptnin Pmiltson

Dr. Tormindbind Mickmildididindnin

Dr. Krumpworth Chponglasia IV, Jr.

Dr. Borgermu Barret Swingdworth 

Dr. Richard Reinhold Rnawighiwowpj

Captain Slufgyflaysid

Dr. Bartholomew Grahsrihajul

Dr. Alsajahb Fifborgiltk 

Dr. Fsmilejera Irlelwoll 

Dr. Commander Vernmim Chuntspinkton

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Like I just love how you can pinpoint “Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden” as the exact moment the joke went from making Mark Hamill say funny but still vaguely name-shaped words to forcing that poor man to pronounce straight up keysmashes out loud.