A Datamodel of Disaster

Just a (Dys)Functional Analyst trying to hold down a job. They/She, non-binary bisexual. I identify as a problem. // ⚙️ Praise the Omnissiah ⚙️

[datamodel-of-disaster]

So, I figured I should make a pinned post so people can tell I'm what passes for a real person around here...

Meet the disaster behind the datamodel!

My name is Riemann!

My pronouns are they/them and she/her.

I'm a functional analyst, goth model, tarot reader, fanfic writer, and occasional fan artist. My primary fandom at the moment is Warhammer 40k, though I still dabble in Tron, the Silmarillion, and general Tolkien legendarium stuff from time to time. I made this blog mostly for fandom stuff, though you may also find the occasional post about IT and functional analysis here.

I removed my socials because I'm a bit worried about a stalker in my RL atm, ask if you want my links!

Always open to tags and asks! Consider my askbox the nsft amnesty zone, you can send and ask me *anything*. Yes, that too.

This blog is kink-positive, sex-positive, queer-positive. Don't try me.

PERSONAL TAGS:

#meet the disaster is for posts like this intro, ask games, and the occasional selfie, ootd or modelling pic.

#datamodel UI is specifically for my outfit pics!

#disaster thoughts is for personal thoughts, rants and reactions to things. May contain mental health triggers. Block this tag if you don't want to see anything overly personal relating to me.

#disaster draws is for my visual art

#disaster writes is for my writing, mostly fanfic!

#disaster crafts is for my crafty endeavours; patches, cosplay WIPs, etc.

FANDOM-ADJACENT TAGS:

If you like cyborgs and tech, you might enjoy my #admech vibes tag. If you are here for Tron, try #tron vibes.

For my rec list of admech erotica: here it is!

For my ongoing admech cosplay efforts: #datamodel's techpriest cosplay

[trans-seraphim]

i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

[dr-manhattan-alt]

My new and absolutely normal i swear obsession is hand routed, or otherwise free-form, circuit board layouts.

It just strikes such a beautiful intersection between artistic and tech that gives me all the right neuron activations.

[dark-angels666]

[friedmagnolialeaves]

[atlas-eye]

"Obligation [kills] enthusiasm. ... curiosity collapsed under the weight of [duty.] ... autonomy fuels motivation, [and] the moment something becomes compulsory, it starts to feel like work.

[But] almost nothing in life is truly mandatory, only consequential. Freedom [means] recognizing that you're always choosing, and that every choice carries a cost."

[lyragoth]

"May I ask where the little princess is going?"

Lúthien & Thuringwethil

#26 submission for @tolkienrsb 2026

Fic by @duckwhatduck will be revealed 5th September

[datamodel-of-disaster]

So, I'm not typically someone who is bothered by needing to make eye contact. It's never been an issue.

But like... When I'm sweaty and tired after a day's work, no makeup, haven't eaten anything all day, waiting in line at the municipality to pick up my new ID, and they tell me I was supposed to schedule an appointment for that... (To... be handed my ID card. An appointment.)

Yeah, I just want to leave. I don't care about looking this lady in the face with my sweaty mug. I'm mumbling like a loser and shrugging and being like "whatever I guess" because I know this was my only chance to pick up my ID before my old one expires, but you know, if it be like that, it be like that I guess? Appointment shnappointment. I was not making a fuss, I was probably just looking like a weirdo for being sorta passive about it and not engaging in social niceties.

And this woman.

This fucking woman.

Has the gall to call me out for my rudeness because "I'm not looking her in the eye" and that it showed "such disrespect, like I was not even acknowledging her willingness to help me even tho I didn't make an appointment and she doesn't *have* to help me."

Like, BITCH.

For one, who needs an appointment to pick up an ID card. They just need to scan my old one, take it, and give me the new one. Interaction of 5 minutes tops.

Also, what was rude about me not making eye contact? I'm just dissociated and hungry and it's probably making me look like a weirdo, but is this how you're gonna act if you have a severely autistic or cognitively disabled customer who doesn't make eye contact? What the actual fuck.

Anyway.

I looked up like, EXCUSE ME, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM LADY?

And she promptly booked me in to get my ID. It was, indeed, a 5 minute interaction.

[songstone]

This is what happened right?

[incomingalbatross]

There's a post somewhere out there about Smaug being a one-hobbit problem and the War of the Ring being a four-hobbit problem, and it is a very good and funny post but I would like to refine it further. No single event in the War of the Ring was so cataclysmic as to require four hobbits. It's just that they had several hobbit-level problems simultaneously, and even the best hobbit can't be everywhere at once.

So, the scale as I understand it:

Smaug: one-hobbit problem

The Witch-King: one-hobbit problem

Denethor: one-hobbit problem

Saruman: honestly could have been a one-hobbit problem but having two hobbits on it made them both less stressed

The Ring: two-hobbit problem

(Although then of course there's the Scouring of the Shire, which, judging by hobbit involvement, is a whole new category of Problem.)

[sweetcardamom]

From @melliabee 's tags:

[scleroticstatue]

I would like to point out that the Witch-King was actually a two-hobbit problem, because the Witch-King almost killed Merry and Pippin had to search for him to fix him up.

[luminous-warrior]

I would also like to note that the One Ring actually turned out to be a three hobbit problem, considering the involvement of Gollum.

[scleroticstatue]

Correct! Which means we have a spectrum!

Regular kings of any size: 1 hobbit

Supernatural kings of any size: 2 hobbits

The devil himself: 3 hobbits

[sufficientlylargen]

So many problems could've been avoided if Eru had just created four hobbits before making Melkor.

[sallllltywater]

Lil tech-rats!!

[literallymechanical]

task manager kill this fucking thinbg

[octowillow]

Would you like to see his stigmata?

Pasqal my fav weirdo

[depsidase]

[do-not-u-dare]

Stole this from somewhere but i think it’s appropriate

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

In 1990, the high school dropout rate for Dolly Parton's hometown of Sevierville Tennessee was at 34% (Research shows that most kids make up their minds in fifth/sixth grade not to graduate). That year, all fifth and sixth graders from Sevierville were invited by Parton to attend an assembly at Dollywood. They were asked to pick a buddy, and if both students completed high school, Dolly Parton would personally hand them each a $500 check on their graduation day. As a result, the dropout rate for those classes fell to 6%, and has generally retained that average to this day.

Shortly after the success of The Buddy Program, Parton learned in dealing with teachers from the school district that problems in education often begin during first grade when kids are at different developmental levels. That year The Dollywood Foundation paid the salaries for additional teachers assistants in every first grade class for the next 2 years, under the agreement that if the program worked, the school system would effectively adopt and fund the program after the trial period.

During the same period, Parton founded the Imagination Library in 1995: The idea being that children from her rural hometown and low-income families often start school at a disadvantage and as a result, will be unfairly compared to their peers for the rest of their lives, effectively encouraging them not to pursue higher education. The objective of the Imagination library was that every child in Sevier County would receive one book, every month, mailed and addressed to the child, from the day they were born until the day they started kindergarten, 100% free of charge. What began as a hometown initiative now serves children in all 50 states, Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom, mailing thousands of free books to children around the world monthly.

On March 1, 2018 Parton donated her 100 millionth book at the Library of Congress: a copy of "Coat of Many Colors" dedicated to her father, who never learned to read or write.

[stardustsighs]

Would like to apologise to all my mutuals who ever dmed me and later became a victim of my terrible communication skills 🥀🥀

[chemognosis]

[coupleofdays]

I just read about the concept of "smoke testing" in software development, and I had a sudden vision: