[I Am Dathamier]

[will meaning ever show its face] 23 - Kin - Glasshide Dragon Came here from Twitter

[dathamier]

[Communion]

The void and I have a.. complicated relationship..

[dathamier]

[nightmare]/[leavemealone]

Content warning // It’s pretty disturbing for me when I live through this at least

I have a reoccurring dream.

It begins quiet, and peaceful. Lucid, and clear. But a darkness creeps into this, my most sacred of spaces. Something so vast and so empty, it pulls and pushes against my mind. It claws at the inside of my skull while it rips at my wings and my horns. It literally pulls me apart, from the inside and out.

I can’t flee. I can’t fight. I can’t even scream for help as I succumb to it. Just convulsing, mouth agape, in the still water.

It always ends the same way. With every part of me that carries with it draconic connotation stripped from my body. Leaving me devoid of my senses, devoid of any feature that makes me unique. I am left nothing but an oversized lizard, and all the while I am watched by [it], the force or entity or ethereal concept that did, does, and will continue to do all of this to me.

One night I woke from this reoccurring nightmare in a fury. I did the only thing I could think of to fight back in my own pathetic little way. I picked up my tablet with shaking hands, and I drew what I felt [it] was as best I could. The lines came out jagged and disjointed as I jerked my hands across the screen. The abyss that opened to me in that moment was the same one that meets me in my dreams. But this time I was the one looking down into it.

Now you can see it too.

[dathamier]

[Locked in dance]

I feverishly forged this piece over the span of several days. Inspired by a beautiful moment in virtual reality, my eyes were suddenly open to a broader social world that I had previously not understood. In that moment I knew I had to continue to learn about what this was, and what it meant to be a part of it.

The piece itself depicts the fact that we as individual beings are both together and apart in bleak and intimate ways. Never will we fully understand anyone, not even ourselves. Yet, we share glorious moments with each other. In this piece, individuals are depicted as circles. Their connections with others depicted as their unique shape, and how those shapes interact with others. Never do they intersect, and never do they perfectly copy another.

This is, to this day, the most singularly complex ‘sigil’ I have ever created. It is still, to this day, the most violently I have been compelled to forge something. I hope you like it 💙

[dathamier]

[Shaped by Shadows, Cast From Myself] & [Twisting, Changing] These pieces were created many years ago now, when I was another person entirely.  Often I tried to understand, if I could, why I felt the way I did about both myself and the world around me. It often manifested like this at the time.  I viewed my own mind as orderly and well disciplined. Fighting against the disorder and chaos of the world around me as it attempted to wrest any semblance of control I had from me.  Yet, something deep down inside of me knew I there was a hole. Some sort of absence that I didn’t understand at the time. It shaped my artwork, especially [Twisting, Changing], as I felt this unknowable sensation welling up inside of me.  It was frightening. 

[dathamier]

[I am more than my flesh]

I’ll be bringing my artwork over to this platform over time. This one, like many of my creations, was made during a difficult time. But I find it rather beautiful that moments of pain can be transformed in such a way, into lasting shapes that carry their meaning forward.