Complex duplex @dathooburrito - Tumblr Blog

oribiys-remade-deactivated20200

everytime i move i crunch like popcorn

battenna

and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly

iguanamouth

I'd like to make a request. An Iron Maiden... but with hands instead of spikes. Think about it.

why even stop there lets keep this awful finger train goin

beautifulterriblequeen

what fresh hell

inkskinned

whenever i eat mushrooms i think about how one day mushrooms are gonna eat me… i make sure to chew really gently so they’ll return the favor 2 my corpse

sapphicdogmeat-blog

Hey op

inkskinned

me, through a mouthful of gently-chewed mushrooms: yeah?

adhdhuman

either i talk to people about how i’m feeling and get labeled as attention seeking or complaining or i don’t talk to people and get told it’s my own fault because i didn’t talk to anyone about it

sendtoheaven

things have been hard lately

coolthingoftheday

A woman in the U.S. was left this couch in a will.

personsonable-deactivated201908

*buys this couch at her estate sale after her tragic, unexplained death and notices there’s one more teddy bear than there used to be*

tamascotchi-deactivated20190101

some ppl who grew up with siblings didnt rly Grow Up With Siblings. like if you and your brother are 10 yrs apart u just dont get it… if you had siblings within 3yrs of your age you had the genuine experience of primitive undeveloped human brains pummeling the shit out of each other because none of us have developed frontal cortices and the laws of man don’t apply in the confines of this house

cockwiki

god i love this show

valtsv

we joke and jest but there’s literally nothing more ‘monkey brain’ than the primal urge to climb things

valtsv

me: *sees any tall structure with features that i could use to scale it*

monkey brain: CLIMB. ASCEND. SCURRY UP THE BOUGHS OF THIS TREE AND FIND A SUITABLE VANTAGE POINT TO STRATEGICALLY SURVEY YOUR SURROUNDINGS.

valtsv

me: alright, i’m up. now how do i get down?

monkey brain: use tail to maintain balance and JUMP!

me: we don’t have a tail, remember? we evolved beyond it.

monkey brain:

e-toad

God this is just such a good fucking picture

bepeu-deactivated20171202

twindirtmounds-deactivated20190

Well well well….how the worm tables….

sendmetonarnia

Me when i see Godzilla

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

listen idk I’m thinking about how before new moon came out it was like….every single news story was debating on whether or not they should keep taylor lautner as Jacob, because he wasn’t buff enough, and the film studio and the general public essentially pressured him into doing insane diets and workout routines just so he can keep a role he already won, just because no one would even entertain the character looking slightly different than described, and it was treated as this great thing, like damn, he really pulled it off!!! he’s hot now!!! he can keep the part!!! and that’s just so fucked up like. he was fucking 15 years old??? they spray painted abs onto Robert Pattinson in the same film. Taylor Lautner was LITERALLY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD and practically the entire world slammed him for not having an unreal body, and then once he obtained one grown ass women were drooling over him like a piece of meat for the rest of his teenage years. what the fuck.

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

I’m still on this! Imagine you’re still going thru puberty and the world is so obsessed with your body that you become a sex symbol for MOTHERS. first all the focus on whether or not he could get the body and then constant focus on what it looks like for the next 4 or 5 years like! That’s so fucked up he didn’t NEED an 8-pack THEY SPRAY PAINTED ABS ON ROB IN THE SAME MOVIE

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

he did interviews on all his crazy work out routines and said he had to carry around beef patties and other high protein foods wherever he went so he was just eating constantly THATS NOT ALRIGHT and every single magazine article or ET news segment was covering this the whole time. Fans were vocally debating whether he deserved to keep the role that HE ALREADY EARNED. This was such a big deal. What the fuck.

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

so the highest paid teenager was also the second sexist man of the year, huh

secretly-a-cat-pls-dont-tell

spongehole

*Racialized pedophilia

redlanternavengerelf42

I am not a Twilight fan, nor am I a fan of Taylor Lautner, but damn this is wrong to do to anyone and I will fight anyone who tries to defend doing this to a teenager.