life and commas

I picked up a pen. I wrote my own deliverance.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

When cats walk up to you all "hi can I perhaps interest you in me, kitten boy? I'm literally warm and soft"

[dduane]

The Onion says it won’t wait for the courts, will launch Infowars to pay Sandy Hook families

The Onion’s staff is tired of waiting for the courts to settle its pending takeover of Alex Jones’ brand, so the new Infowars will launch ne

Now The Onion says it isn’t waiting on the courts anymore.  “Alex is holding Infowars.com hostage,” Collins said in a phone interview. “He’s trying to intentionally degrade the assets so these families can never sell them, and the courts have largely obliged. We’re tired of waiting around.” “We are allowed, and even more, these families are entitled to this stuff,” Collins added. “Somebody’s got to do this, or else he’ll get away with it.”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

[quorpiest]

no mi circo no mis feratus

[shanehollandered]

ok poll time because i am genuinely curious about something (and this is not a call out for anyone, that's just me being in my head)

do you answer comments on your fics or do you not (for the specific reason that it "distorts" the actual amount of comments)?

yes i answer comments

no i don't answer comments because of the above

secret third option (put it in the tags)

Remaining time: 2 days 22 hours

[real-language-facts]

resurrected a dead language and it came back wrong

[zuppizup]

The modh coinníollach does be a killer

[hbbisenieks]

normal people in SF are fucking sick of every billboard being for AI slop

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

takes a real artist to go "i have to deface this billboard promoting an evil corporation's evil product. but crucially☝️the typeface and kerning must match or else it's cringe"

[ignescent]

If you make it look official, people will leave it up. I knew someone who replaced all the motivational posters at work with 'demotivation' versions and corp didnt notice for like 2 years.

[dduane]

Sherlock Holmes Returns to TV With New Adults-Only Series

A new mature Sherlock Holmes series is in development from Harry King Television and Shrek producer David Lipman.

(amused side-eye) Oh indeed.

[un-monstre]

They just invented the world’s fastest sandwich. They’re calling it the autobáhn mì

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.

[thenatsdorf]

[sandersstudies]

My favorite part is when the kitty runs to the window and looks out like “the outside stuff????? It is inside?????”

[strawberryjellystuff-deactivate]

i

i had to

[naamahdarling]

Y’all this is a great video to study to observe the body language of a very happy but also very excited cat.  Lots of people see videos of excited cats doing things like climb rock climbing walls or get on small boats and think they are angry or scared, when they aren’t.  Here’s a good example of happy excitement and tension in a cat where the cat’s pleasure is easy to see.  The cat’s tail is lashing and its ears are going backward and forward like crazy, but the cat is not angry, it is merely off its shits because snow is just incredible.  This is a wildly playful cat which might play-attack a hand or other animal because it is so excited, but not out of anger.  Note the zoomies at the end to burn off some of that energy!

Think about it. When we humans do something fun and very physical, our bodies are often tense, at the ready, and a lot of our body language does look kind of aggressive or even scared. Cats are the same!  Animals at play or investigating new things often show some tension, but tension is not the same as anger or fear!

[redstonedust]

gay sex walkthrough 100% all secrets & bonus levels no commentary

[dogpuppy]

[zuppizup]

Snake got a penny

I got a dime

We go the corner store to buy a fresh lime

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Snake got a penny

I got a buck

I advocate for fair snake wage but he don't give a fuck

[kropotkindersurprise]

February 9, 2000 - The London Lesbian Avengers stopped the no. 15 bus in London's Piccadilly Circus, and painted it pink. This was done to demand the repeal of homophobic Section 28, and to protest the involvement of homophobic millionaire Brian Souter in a Scottish campaign against the repeal. Souter was also the owner of privatised bus company Stagecoach, operating route 15. Section 28 was finally repealed in England and Wales in 2003. [video]

[quasi-normalcy]

It is kind of funny how all of the civil disobedience by previous civil rights movements just gets memory-holed so liberals and the press can wag their fingers are the present ones for not doing things "the right way"

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

"Militant" really is a word that needs to go on a top shelf

[catchymemes]

[idiot-haul]

Why is it referred to as coming out of the closet? 

[idiot-haul]

It could be coming out of anything. What wasted potential.

[idiot-haul]

Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just guys

[kingohats]

#if you want the pedantic answer bc I’ve actually researched this for my thesis#there doesn’t seem to be a for sure agreed upon origin of the phrase BUUUUUT#it seems to be a combo of two earlier phrases ‘coming out’ and ‘skeletons in the closet’#coming out started to be used by gay men in 1920s new york bc a “coming out” was the 1st time a debutante would debut into the dating scene#so gay men would have their “coming out” when they first went onto the gay dating scene#a skeleton in your closet is a shameful/dirty secret that would often only be revealed once a person died#for a lot of queer people their queerness was something they literally took to the grave#so being ‘in the closet’ meant you were the skeleton in your closet#I couldn’t find an exact confirmation of when the phrases began to be combined but it seems to be around early 1970s gay liberation movemen#at the time a popular protest chant was ‘out of the closet and into the streets’#which I think also helped to popularize the term#I’m putting all this in the tags bc I realize this is a silly post that is meant as a joke and I didn’t wanna ruin the punchline#but I also wanted to provide an answer for those who were curious

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[cuunos]

for a long time now, one of my go-to phrases is "shake it like a can of beans." im not really sure where this came from, but i've been saying it for three years or so. it never really occurred to me that this was unusual until yesterday when i was bouncing a baby in a rocker a little too violently (he was having a great time, it just wasnt exactly sending him to sleep) and i went "sorry, im shaking him like a can of beans over here" and both my coworkers reacted like i had said something insane

[cuunos]

list of other things i've said that my coworkers really like:

everybody in the club getting baby (when 5 or more babies are fussy)

going absolute baby mode over there/he's activating baby mode (when the 10 month old is having a fit)

i play my blue eyed white baby (said when setting a specific baby on the floor)

sick 'em! (said when setting any other baby on the floor)

call her regina, she's a little bit dramatic (this is one of my go to phrases)

into the gladiator pit!/hey have you ever seen gladiator? (when two babies start wrestling/fighting) (i have not seen gladiator)

she's ready for college (when the three month old lifts her head to look around)

lock in, brother (i say this the most)

i say most of these phrases at least daily.

[cuunos]

one of the babies was getting picked up and started screaming as soon as her dad pulled her from her crib (where she'd been sleeping) and i instinctively said "that's what we in the industry call: baby moding" and he started laughing so hard he almost dropped her