Number 15: Saturday night, date night
In the last post I was still recovering from my bunion surgery and in my big boot. Fast forward a few more months and the boot is no more. Weāre now in June, the weather is warmer (still wet though), I can wear proper shoes again (not quite ready for heels yet) and Iāve nearly completed a full year in my new job (which I love). Life is good.
A friend had recommended a new dating app that I hadnāt tried before. Sheād met some decent men through it, and as I still hadnāt met anyone that nice in real life, I decided to give it a go. Within a few days I matched with a man who in a lot of his pictures looked remarkably like David Beckham. I originally thought heād be a catfish (far too good looking to be real, surely?), but after reverse image searching his photos, he actually turned out to be a real person. We seemed to have lots in common and we had the same sense of humour, always a good start. He was 38, so a few years older than me, lived about an hourās drive away, had a good job, an 8 year old daughter who he saw regularly (very important), seemed to have his head screwed on and had morals - lots of tick boxes so far. One of the things I noticed about his info was heād put heās looking for someone honest and with integrity. I always put āhonestyā somewhere in mine but thatās the first time Iāve actually seen someone put āintegrityā. He sounded like a decent human being, all good so far.
We chatted for less than 24 hours, he gave me his number and he asked me if Iād like to meet him after workā¦.. Tonight! It was a Thursday so we were both at work. I hate it when men are flakey and you canāt pin them down (clearly not that bothered about meeting up!), so I need to take advantage of someone whoās keen. I bit the bullet and agreed to meet him. I felt sick leading up to the date, not sure why I was so nervous, maybe because it was unplanned and sudden, but also probably due to me not actually having been on a date for a little while. (Yes, you heard that right, I donāt date as much as these blogs would suggest!) We agreed to meet halfway, as he had to drop his daughter off at her mumās house. This worked out fine for me as it gave me enough time to get ready after work and travel to meet him. We met in a cute little village pub in an area neither of us had been to before. I saw a message appear on my screen as I was driving there to say heād arrived. That calmed my nerves a bit, at least I wasnāt going to be sitting there on my own. As I pulled into the car park and parked, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt physically sick. I really hope heās not a weirdo after Iāve driven over an hour to meet him. This better not be a waste of time. I text him to say Iād arrived and got out of the car and walked towards the entrance. I heard someone call my name and he was parked nearby and had waited in his car for me. That was cute, so we at least went in together. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. He smelt so nice - I donāt know what aftershave he was wearing but its one I recognised and it was loooovely. Thatās one of the first meet concerns out of the way - how the person will smell. It sounds so insignificant in the grand scheme of things but I have come to realise its SO important. (Iāll tell you a story another time about a really nice/fit/genuinely lovely man who smelt of out of date milkā¦..!)
In the pub it was really cosy and we got a corner table. He bought the first round which was sweet, so I said Iād get the second. At this point it was 9pm and was getting late for a work night. We got on instantly - he told me all about his childhood and family, his daughter, his work and past career (security guard, now head of security, like a manager of the guards and security team). He sounded so normal and I loved how he was being so honest and telling me all about his life. He asked about me too and we chatted for 2 hours, before we were being kicked out of the pub at 11 oāclock. Time had gone so fast, which is always a good sign when you meet someone for the first time. He said he wasnāt ready to go home yet as we were having such a good night. He suggested a romantic walk round the village, which I liked the sound of, so thatās what we did. It was still warm but just starting to get chilly. We both got our jackets and off we went. He asked me if he could hold my hand which was ever so cute (Iām glad he didnāt just presume I was going to say yes!). We walked round the lovely little village for about 45 minutes, looking at the houses, shops and stopping to stroke random cats that kept crossing our path. Neither of us could remember if the pub car park had a barrier or not - oh dearrrrr, we could end up getting our cars locked in overnight! We walked rather briskly back to the car park and luckily found that there was no barrier. We stood by my car and he asked me if Iād had a good evening. Of course I had and I told him I really enjoyed it. He asked me there and then if Iād like to see him again, which of course I did. He actually wanted to see me the following evening but seeing as I wouldnāt get home tonight until 1am, I decided the weekend would be better. So by the time weād said goodbye weād already agreed Saturday night would be our second date - progress! We kissed outside and it was very romantic. Cold around us and I had a red nose, but he wrapped me up in his jacket and it was like something out of a film. Kissing him was good - he was just the right amount of gentle and rough at the same time. He was really tall (6ft 2) and I loved the fact I had to stand on tiptoes to reach up to him. He was a proper manly man. As I drove away I saw a message pop up on my screen - it just saidĀ āBest date everā with love heart eyes. What a cutie! I drove home with a big smile on my face.
We spent the next 24 (and a bit) hours messaging lots, chatting on the phone and talking about how excited we were about our second date. On the Friday night neither of us had plans so he said heād ring me for a chat. We video chatted for over 2 hours and it was nice. Comfortable, easy to talk to each other and we were constantly having a laugh. Things were looking good. Saturday came and I woke up feeling like a kid on Christmas Day. I looked at my phone and heād already messaged me that morning saying good morning and heās looking forward to seeing me later. He was at work during the day so would come to meet me straight afterwards. He had taken a few outfits to work with him, then would get showered and ready at work and drive to Leeds to meet me. Iād booked us a table at a nice Italian in the city centre and he was looking forward to going as he hadnāt been before. During the day he was messaging me, sent me photos of his outfits and asked which would be best for our date (any were fine, he looked smart in trousers and a shirt) and heād even had his hair cut in his lunch break ready for tonight. We were clearly both looking forward to it and I had that excited feeling in my stomach all day.Ā
Heād messaged around 5:30pm saying he was getting stressed at work as heād got to deal with a shoplifter and had to wait for the police to arrive and take over. I responded to say donāt worry, thereās still plenty of time before weāre due to meet and just get there when you can. He knew the reservation time and the address of the restaurant, so I had no worries. The table was booked for 7:30pm which heād agreed would give him enough time to finish work, get ready and drive over. I spent 2 hours getting ready and glammed up, with the plan to get the bus into town at 7pm, arriving at 7:20. At just before 7 I messaged him to tell him I was setting off and Iād see him there. He read it but didnāt respond. I didnāt think much about it, he was probably on his way in too and couldnāt message. I arrived at the restaurant and made sure the lady on the desk knew I was here, but was waiting for my +1. I got a seat at the bar and ordered a drink. I kept an eye on my phone just in case he got in touch, but I expected him to walk through the door at any moment. At 7:45 I had been waiting for 25 minutes and hadnāt heard from him. Thought I better send him a message and see how far away he is, as they would only hold our table until 8. The message sent but didnāt deliver, which I thought was odd. So I phoned him to see if he was maybe on hands free, still driving. It went straight to voicemail. Strange. So I left him a message just saying hope youāre okay and how far away are you as weāve only got the table reservation for another 15 minutes. But not to worry if youāre not here in time, we can just go somewhere else. I carried on sipping my drink and waiting.Ā
It got to 8 oāclock and still no contact. This was weird. He should have finished work by now but then why hadnāt he been in touch to tell me hes running late? The lady came over to find me and told me I could either sit at the table (and keep it, but Iād have to order food), or weād lose it. I didnāt want to sit there, not knowing how far away he was so decided to lose it. I stayed at the bar and at ten past 8 I messaged my mum asking what I should do. It was aĀ āHow long would you wait for someone if you havenāt heard from them and donāt know if theyāre coming?ā. Mum responded pretty much straight away and said go home, itās not looking promising. I felt so bad leaving - what if he turned up and I wasnāt there? But to be fair, at this point Iād been waiting for 50 minutes. And I still wasnāt 100% sure if heād actually set off from work, or whether he was still stuck there waiting for the police to arrive. I walked to the bus stop. It was cold and horrible and I felt like sh*t. The high of leading up to a date then the massive low of having to go home without having even going on the dateā¦ā¦. bad times. I was sure there was some explanation as to why he hadnāt arrived/got in touch, but I had an awful feeling in my gut. I waited for 20 minutes for my bus and then it came up on the screenĀ āCANCELLEDā. I was cold, wet and feeling sorry for myself. I burst into tears sitting at the bus stop and messaged my mum. Luckily for me, they donāt live far away so my dad very kindly came in the car to rescue me. (My hero).
I heard nothing from my date guy that evening. The sadness of getting all glammed up then coming home and wiping off my makeup, putting on my pyjamas and cuddling up with my dog in front of the TV made it a depressing evening. I should have been out having a nice Italian meal with a lovely man! I expected to wake up the following day to a message saying what had happened and he was so sorry etc etcā¦ā¦. I looked at my phone on Sunday morning and there was nothing. I decided to give it 24 hours so he could at least get in touch and apologise and explain what had happened last night. I thought maybe his battery had died so he couldnāt access my number and ended up going home? In my head I was coming up with all sorts of scenarios of what could have happened and why he didnāt get in touch. Maybe his daughter had been rushed into hospital and he had no time to message me, then had to turn his phone off? Maybe he was still in hospital with her, still with his phone off? Iām a reasonable person and wouldnāt have kicked off if heād have given me a genuine explanation. Even a rubbish explanation would have been better at this point - just get in touch and give me something! 24 hours came and went and still nothing. I sent him one more message - asking if heās okay. Not kicking off, not angry, not asking a million questions or making him feel uncomfortable, just checking heās okay. He never read it (although it did get delivered, so his phone was now turned back on). He then got blocked. Nothing he could say now would make it okay or convince me to meet him again. I felt completely heartbroken. This is rock bottom in the dating world. I hadnāt been here before. How could someone do this to another person, knowing I was sitting there waiting for him, yet he had no intention of turning up or even telling me he wasnāt coming. Thatās just cruel and mean, very cruel and very nasty. What a horrible person.














