[davestr1d3r-blog]

@sucredanse

⚙ – but the chain was huge ⚙ – couldnt think of how to break it ⚙ – then out of nowhere this sword appears in the thing ⚙ – so im thinking obviously i have to break the sword somehow ⚙ – because thats all i fucking do is break swords ⚙ – what was your question again

[davestr1d3r-blog]

non event starter call! capping at 3 cos i’m baby

[davestr1d3r-blog]

cambrioler‌:

     “Um… Yikes, am I right? Does stuff like this always      happen here?”

⚙ – oh sure ⚙ – just call it another notch in the daily routine bedpost

[davestr1d3r-blog]

[ text ] –– it takes more muscles to shriek in terror than to smile.

texting meme

TG: are you done being the walking personification of detestation for everyone and everything or can we watch detective pikachu in relative peace

[davestr1d3r-blog]

[ text ] –– do you want to know a secret? me too. let me know if you find out any.

texting meme

TG: are we talking rose secrets because let me just open up my inconspicuous trench coat and show off my collection of off license lalonde secrets like a slippery motherfuckerTG: i accept paypal bank transfer and sweet juicy john egbert secrets

[davestr1d3r-blog]

[ text ] –– are other people even real? probably not.

texting meme

TG: pretty sure theres some percentage of crackpot murderers who think this exact same thought but im gonna hope youre not among these numbers and also sleep with a fuckin knifeTG: this whole conversation is falling apart this isnt how it originally went at all

[davestr1d3r-blog]

[ text ] –– anything is possible if you believe in yourself and only in yourself and don’t care about what’s real.

texting meme

TG: in jesus name we pray afuckingmenTG: now i wanna see that charitable donation box make some rounds

[taggedmemes]

TEXTING MEME ⟶ WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE TWEETS ( 2013 / part two ) always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

[ text ] –– the bee pit is closed for renovations.

[ text ] –– if you could only see the world as it really is! it’s beautiful and on fire and awful.

[ text ] –– don’t forget there’s a BIG GAME this weekend. no one’s sure what the game involves, but there will be consequences.

[ text ] –– let’s pretend this never happened.

[ text ] –– the hideous screaming coming from inside your walls is technically a haiku.

[ text ] –– when you die, try to rot quickly. the cemetery trees look underfed.

[ text ] –– centuries ago, scientists learned the sun doesn’t revolve around the earth. the sun, they proved, is just a blind god wandering in circles.

[ text ] –– the stars don’t mean anything. they’re just being ironic.

[ text ] –– measure a man by his actions. then measure him by each of his limbs, weighed separately, refrigerated, blood drained.

[ text ] –– most owls are staying in the forest to plot important things. the superb one speaks of mice and alchemy and prophetic dreaming.

[ text ] –– no one is talking about mountains. why is no one talking about mountains? secretive mountains control the media, that’s why.

[ text ] –– a bird in the hand is worth a plastic bag full of miscellaneous animal hearts.

[ text ] –– should crippling fear of life be taught in schools?

[ text ] –– the sky is a conspiracy.

[ text ] –– when life hands you lemons, use them to cover the smell coming from the floorboards.

[ text ] –– turns out the screaming in your home is just a ghost child who’s haunting the house that cursed her soul.

[ text ] –– the optimist sees a glass that is half-full. the pessimist sees a rotting deer.

[ text ] –– listen to your heart. just hold it up to your ear and listen. it should sound like chili being stirred.

[ text ] –– unearthing a time capsule dated 1913 that contains the bones of a six-armed man, two ukranian hymnals, and an eight inch statuette of a honeybee.

[ text ] –– are other people even real? probably not.

[ text ] –– there are painful consequences for kindness.

[ text ] –– missed connection: you were a bird, so was I. we lived centuries apart and time is weird.

[ text ] –– the post office doesn’t exist, mail is not a thing. communication is fake.

[ text ] –– hey girl you must be tired because you’ve been running all night from that basilisk.

[ text ] –– let’s stare at the sky until we forget who we are.

[ text ] –– passengers on the left have a nice view of themselves dying, on the right you can see mountains or something.

[ text ] –– filled with blood? got bones all inside you? covered in skin? we can help.

[ text ] –– the long debate over whether or not skin is necessary is finally over.

[ text ] –– i’d like to thank the eyeless deer that silently stalk my dreams for believing in me.

[ text ] –– smdh if you don’t grow oak trees from your chest.

[ text ] –– I like my coffee like I like my nights: dark, endless, impossible to sleep through.

[ text ] –– life is like a box of lonely, terrifying, painful chocolate.

[ text ] –– keep some bees in your chest cavity, just in case.

[ text ] –– the bees are dying because they never learned how to love.

[ text ] –– enthralled by the moon? staring at a lot of clouds and flowers? you may be entitled to compensation.

[ text ] –– do you want to know a secret? me too. let me know if you find out any.

[ text ] –– if we’re both unmarried at 35, let’s agree to become trees.

[ text ] –– thankfully, mathematics cannot be proven.

[ text ] –– don’t let numbers tell you what to do. you are blood and earth, not theory and chalk.

[ text ] –– the human soul weight 21 grams. it’s a dense lump of grey clay wrapped in a cloth and buried beneath an unfound tree.

[ text ] –– foxes are built like nesting dolls.

[ text ] –– if you love something, set it free. if it returns to burrow into your chest and die, it’s meant to be.

[ text ] –– love ain’t nothing but a number.

[ text ] –– things that hurt: knives, lightning, breathing, reading, talking, looking at the moon, paraphrasing, and recycling.

[ text ] –– anything is possible if you believe in yourself and only in yourself and don’t care about what’s real.

[ text ] –– it’s fine if you believe in thermodynamic laws, but you don’t need to force everyone else to believe it.

[ text ] –– here’s a creepy thought.

[ text ] –– an ouija board, but instead of letters and numbers, pictures of cats.

[ text ] –– it is not only illegal, but physically dangerous to answer a rhetorical question.

[ text ] –– somewhere in every mirror is a faceless old woman standing very still.

[ text ] –– you’ll sleep when you’re dead.

[ text ] –– a name is a lie that keeps you from thinking you might be more than one single being.

[ text ] –– it takes more muscles to shriek in terror than to smile.

[ text ] –– loss is an illusion. you’ve never actually had anything.

[hairbrushed]

don’t leave your sketches around me i will steal them like i stole @bunnyknickers

[davestr1d3r-blog]

mewnipendent‌:

𝓗is words definitely deceived his appearance; what nonsense was he spewing from his mouth? She backs away a couple steps with her palms open facing the boy in a defensive display.

❝ Okay number one, what. I’m no ‘sped’ I dont even know what a ‘sped’ is… and what the heck is a hitchcock. ❞

Man, this guy was totally crazy! But then again, most of the people in this place were…

dave is a cluttered marriage of things: talkative, ironic, unbelievably attractive, a babe-magnet, the coolest guy to ever exist on the block, a ––– yeah, he can see how one would take a step back.

⚙ – that sounds like a you problem to me

he shrugs casually.

⚙ – lets reboot all trains of thought starting from now ⚙ – whats up

[davestr1d3r-blog]

sucredanse‌:

     ✖ ✖ As he finally hops onto the skateboard, the blonde begins to close the distance between the two of them. Quietly does she now stand by his side, close enough to catch him should he fall but not too close as to hinder his progress or make her own self uncomfortable.

     ❝ While keeping your balance, use one leg to push yourself forward, ❞ she now informs him, smile the same as always.

     ❝ Go slowly at first and then when you are feeling braver, try going faster :-) ❞

dave’s brow twitches at the proximity, but he’s known what care feels like just long enough to recognise it. he does as she says, even if he can’t pull it off as gracefully as he’d like to. he rolls slowly on by.

⚙ – youre not telling me anything i couldnt learn from extensive mtv watchage ⚙ – when do we get to the part where i get to do an olly murs ⚙ – a kickflip anyone

[davestr1d3r-blog]

eldritchtherapist‌:

She doesn’t bother looking up from her book as he rambles. Not that it is even a particularly good book, but just something she was using to improve on her alternian. The library they were currently both occupying, one of the many library’s in her and Kanaya’s elaborate castle, was filled to the brim with all kinds of books, some of which were completely written in the alien language, and she was determined to read them so she could have discussions about them with her wife. Dave however seemed like he was hellbent on distracting her so she finally looks at him. 

“While your casting choices are impeccable I don’t think that Karkat would jump at the opportunity to play Lady Macbeth. I am not even sure they had Macbeth on Alternia, and if by some chance they did it is probably not the same story we know. Although I don’t know how they could possibly have more violence than there already is but I’m sure they found a way. Also I would be an amazing script writer and would not need any such supervision. In my version Lady Macbeth would be the staring role instead of her loser husband who can not even carry out a simple murder. Where would I even put a copulation scene? It definitely wouldn’t be between Macbeth and his wife. Maybe perhaps between Macbeth and King Duncan? Think of the sexual tension.” 

You look back down at your book while you let your brother process your brilliant ideas. 

“Oh, and it was five hundred thousand words.” 

⚙ – man your seer powers are really letting you down here ⚙ – hed jump at the opportunity if i got troll will smith to play macbeth

he has a sudden, terrible vision of it: beautiful and tragic, made worse because dave has seen enough of the pieces separately to know how well they’d fit together. it’s perfect.

⚙ – listen rose i have thought this through forward backwards sideways and most definitely upside down and i know that with our combined star power we can make something akin to a fucking masterpiece and also a shitton of dollars ⚙ – because its either this or pizza pop tarts and i think you can tell which angle id rather lean on ⚙ – dramatic reenactments featuring karkat in compromising positions is exactly the kind of crackpot shit i will abide

⚙ – please

[davestr1d3r-blog]

sucredanse‌:

     ✖ ✖ ❝ Oh, there is no need to venture onto this Who Cube, ❞ it’s ‘Youtube’.

     ❝ If I am able to pick up this activity quickly, I have faith that you will be able to, as well :-) Now then, here; you may borrow my skateboard for the time being and I will instruct you as well as help you keep balance, ❞

this shouldn’t be too hard. or, at least, this shouldn’t end with a just or heroic death. (which is to say, he’s optimistic.)

dave stands on the board, hands hanging by his sides, and looks at her.

⚙ – now what

[tagor-gor]

the mayor d4 >:+)

[snoop dogg voice] that’s the cutest shit ive ever seen

[davestr1d3r-blog]

ouhebi‌:

     ❝  ah? how crass — very well, then. just what do you gain from this nauseating sarcasm of yours, boy?  ❞

⚙ – its not sarcasm when its the gods honest truth

[davestr1d3r-blog]

sucredanse‌:

      ✖ ✖ ❝ With a name like ‘Tony Hawk’, I would have suspected his teachings would be solely in another area entirely, ❞ so says the blonde idly cruising by on her skateboard as she speaks to the other now.

      ❝ However, I am merely a beginner myself. Even so, I will impart what knowledge I have unto you :-) ❞

⚙ – dude ⚙ – you never know the wise mister hawk could be training hawks by daylight shredding it by midnight

now is a time where, if it were cool to emote(TM), dave would look vaguely concerned.

⚙ – yeah maybe we should just get schooled by some eleven year old on youtube instead

[davestr1d3r-blog]

pixiesandpeacocks‌:

@davestr1d3r liked your starter call 

“Trends are fickle, and that modern appearance of yours may not last as long as you hope for it to. Trust me, go with something more classically dashing and you’ll have fans by the droves. Perhaps not as many as me, but that’s only to be expected.”

⚙ – shit man teach me all your classy pyjama ways ⚙ – dont you know that its always been my dream to be caught walking the halls getting mistaken for casper the friendly fuckin ghost