so i said

pikachu janai yo mimikyu da yo

[mackseptiplier-blog]

[neonmanatee]

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

[fernal-red]

all these people licking or putting switch cartridges in their mouths just make me concerned for if i ever buy a used switch game in the future. people on amazon are gonna have to start putting “used, like new- never licked” on their used game offerings. the future is wild.

[ride-my-pony]

This is the only version of Bang Bang Bang I need

[honbie]

smol yato!gintoki

[daycloud]

some stagehand probably: mr. tchaikovsky sir we cant actually hit the drum this hard it will break the instrument

potyr ilyich tchaikovsky, wheeling a cannon into the theater: does it look like i give a fuck, johann

[simple-symphonia]

Some doodles cross posted from twitter! From my experience, kids under the age of 5 have -15 chill

[adeles]

I’m not a princess.

[dollygale]

strong words from someone whose introduction was a musical number

[daycloud]

nintendo: give me your money

me: ok

[babyanimalgifs]

this fox if confused as to why the sheets aren’t snow and this is the cutest thing ever

[seafoodmomma-deactivated2021121]

Petition to protect this pure friendship? 

[chouxli]

find a family that will fight for u

[officialjeffgoldblum]

overheard a girl’s phone conversation on the bus where she angrily asked the person on the other line why she had to call on someone else’s phone - “why did you block my number?? yes you did! then why didn’t you answer my calls or texts???” and i was like damn, this girl is mad, i kinda feel bad for whoever she’s talking to. then she said “no, grandma, LISTEN” and i was like grandma, the fuck? how could you?

[thx]

[miss-cigarettes]

❤❤❤❤❤❤ || 제2제이 [@JJ_hyel] ※Permission to upload this was given by the artist (©). **Please, favorite/retweet/follow to support the artist** [Please do not repost, edit or remove credits]

[shelgon]

[lfdy88]

[anthonybourdainpartsunknown]

lets not forget this gem

[slopaganda]

cant believe we’re leaving out this

and more importantly this

[anthonybourdainpartsunknown]

interesting how you forgot 

and

[slopaganda]

ok but

and

[anthonybourdainpartsunknown]

hmmm and perhaps

[tumblin-monkeys]

and these ones too

[bisexualculture]

I’m not sure how you managed to forget this gem:

[blu-canary-deactivated20220609]