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secondairycomics

He likes to listen to him yap

juscemanreal

d'you think tenna was always skittish around rats?

64mpg

what do you mean my childhood affected me

64mpg

i have terrible news

nohoperadio

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

#I think this is the plot to Persona 4

jeriafterdark

tiny sword

bsky / other one

huyandere

nami always keeps it real

memorycycle

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

chirasul

one hundred and seventy dollars

memorycycle

mangoes-in-autumn

An inner child I refuse to acknowledge, but I can't shake off.

After all, HE suffered, not me.

gunsandfireandshit

Remember that "three items from the store to make the cashier most uncomfortable" meme? Apparently I accidentally found a winning combo tonight at the corner store, one of the usual clerks shot me a really weird look when I was checking out with these

gunsandfireandshit

killwizard

Jimmy Budgett

thehotgirlproject

Wasted away again in Meageritaville

oops

Control

dinner date

all-star

not now, chopper!!!

got a good grade in physical therapy because i ordered a sex toy life is fun

gibbearish

anyways tmi/nsfw warning but since it helped me and my therapist hadnt considered the idea before im willing to bet a lot of others havent either so im gonna share:

if you have vaginismus and struggle with dilating regularly i highly recommend looking into wearable toys. theyre generally vibrators that hook onto your clothes or your person in some way, and they're intended to be worn long-term and in public which means you can safely+comfortably just put it in and go about your day without having to sit down and do the whole production of dilating on its own. theyre usually curved to follow your body and soft/flexible unlike the dilators which are straight and stiff, so theyre imo easier to get in and less uncomfortable to ambiently exist with, and the long term aspect gives your body more time to adjust to having something there. and frankly the vibrator part is helpful too, a big part of vaginismus therapy is teaching your body that sensations there arent actually painful like it thinks so introducing positive stimulus helps it relax, bc functionally it kind of is a type of massage lol. but yeah again i know this is oversharing and tmi but i also know this disorder majorly sucks to have and feel like you cant make progress on so if it helps anyone else then yeehaw

gibbearish

actually ive decided these tags are important enough to go in the post body

image id under cut bc it wouldnt fit in alt

image ID: screenshot of tags reading "#now obviously this is limited to once you hit a point where you can fit the vibrator itself "but once you do this is a speedrunning tactic LMAO #im torn on community labelling this bc on the one hand it is for sure sexually themed but on the other hands its medical advice #advice that i wouldve killed to be able to know as a minor bc i already knew i had it at that point i might add #and something thats p common to learn early on because when you cant fit a tampon in for no reason on your first period #you go 'what why not everyone else can what am i doing wrong' #or well i guess more intense cases like mine are more likely to be discovered early‚ ik for some ppl its more 'tampons are fine but #anything bigger is intense pain' so they dont find out until they lose their virginity #or after if they just assume its supposed to be painful which is p common too #hm yeah i will not be community labelling this and am going to specifically say to any vagina'd minor reading this: if your first time #is intensely intensely painful‚ THAT IS NOT NORMAL no matter what the other person says!! and there are excercises that exist that #can make it easier!!! #and also: forcing your way through the pain will make your condition worse in the long run because it reinforces to your brain #that any interaction down there = pain so the muscles lock down even harder next time #if it hurts really bad and you can do so‚ go to your doctor and ask to be referred to a pelvic floor physical therapist for potential #vaginismus and they should be able to help #you can also research self treatment methods online bc its primarily just dilating‚ kegels‚ abdominal/thigh massages‚ stretches‚ and #bowel health (any tension in neighboring regions will ripple effect back to your pelvic floor so indigestion can make things more difficult) #(hence also the abdominal/inner thigh massages‚ those muscles being tight pulls towards your chest and knees respectively which again increases tension in the pelvic region) #a physical therapist will help you set a timeline and pace yourself as well as assign homework excercises to fit you but #the general stuff that can be found online is helpful regardless #and also remember: any progress is good progress. since my first appointment i have been very bad about doing all my excercises #the amount i should be but ive already made ridiculous progress #oh part of the physical therapy too would be yknow. doctors getting their fingers all up in your business so thats another reason you might #prefer self treatment however personally i can confirm it gets wayyy less awkward after the first one i soend my appointments rambling #about terraria now #youll feel embarassed but dont‚ remember that this is their entire job and youre probably the fifth cooch theyve touched today #so this is just a part of their life‚ its not weird for them #also specifically if anyone is near Spokane i recommend core pelvic physical therapy w julia salazar shes a complete delight". end ID

gibbearish

alao i don't know enough about vaginoplasty to feel comfortable saying whether the first tip would be useful for that dilating too but its something to keep in mind at least, i cant see any reason why it wouldnt work the same though

gibbearish

i dislike "hey rb this actually" type things so if you dont want to thats completely fine esp considering a good chunk of it is abt vibrators lol, however it would be greatly appreciated as vaginismus was never mentioned in school / health class for me and ppl really do end up assuming (or being told by assholes) that the pain is just how it works and they have to push through it to be normal, i learned abt it somewhat early on bc mine was so severe i straight up thought i simply Didnt Have A Vaginal Canal and wanted to see if that was a thing, but for a lot of people its more subtle where penetration is /possible/ just not /comfortable/ so they think "ah this must just be how it works, everyone must experience this when they have sex so i just have to deal with it", which sucks on its own but is also something often taken advantage of/encouraged by abusive partners. or those with low/no libido* often find out when they reach the age for their first pap smear and either are in way more pain than normal for it, or are just straight up unable to complete it and then have to wait until after therapy finishes to get that test, so i want to give anyone i can a head start on that realization lol. and even medical stuff aside, the mental impact of not being able to engage in sex the "normal" way despite wanting to is really rough on its own, it's even been really rough for me and i'm transmasc so to a certain degree ive found it gender affirming not being able to do it """the girl way""", but at a certain point that just became a sprinkles-on-a-turd kind of thing yknow lol

*can also include those with active libidos who just choose not to sleep with anyone, but theyre a bit more likely to find out via masturbation whereas someone without probably won't feel the need to explore what's going on there as much

also i wanted to add vis a vis the physical therapy part, the "having a doctors finger in you" part does feel weird and awkward and embarassing and yes probably will hurt a bit when youre first starting out, but they will go as slow as you need and it really is helpful, because from that they can tell you what areas to focus pressure on with the dilator, test muscle control, make sure youre doing kegels/breathing exercises right, and gauge your progress while making sure youre not pushing too fast, so if youre willing/able to push thru the awkwardness of it then it really is worth it

fandomshatefatpeople

i know this isn't under this blog's theme at all but i feel like we do dip into general medical stuff a lot, and this is something pretty personally important to me so i wanted to share it here too

- mod CJ

fandomshatefatpeople

oh actually one more thing to add, if you're transmasc go through planned parenthood for your referral if you can, they should be able to find you a trans-friendly location

- mod CJ

gibbearish

@excessive-vampires hey of course<3 i know it fuckin sucks to deal with so anything i can do to help others with it ill do my best

with that i saw your reblog earlier and was working through forming a response so i just wanted to say firstly im really sorry youre stuck in that situation and that your doctors treated you like that, secondly im not sure if you wanted advice on working around that so if not feel free to disregard all of this but if yes:

firstly dilators - if the issue is:

> not knowing what to get - i got the intimate rose dilator set off amazon and my physical therapist made happy noises when i showed her so they get two thumbs up, id estimate the smallest one is abt the size of a pencil

> they would open your mail and get angry - see if you have any friends nearby who would be willing to let you ship it to their house and then pick it up in person

> if they found it in your room they would get angry - try to think as far outside the box as you can on hiding spots. like say an old pair of boots buried in your closet or something, what are the chances of them checking somewhere like that yknow?

> worried theyll catch you doing it / no lock on door - i usually wait until my housemates are entirely gone or 100% certainly asleep before dilating, its not a noisy activity on its own you go really slow. and even if that means you can only do it once a month, thats ok, like i said any progress is good progress. when i first started out working on it p young i literally couldnt fit much of anything at all and would just occasionally toe the line like every few months, and even that slowly got me to the point where i think shortly after graduating highschool when i ordered the dilators i was able to do the first size after like a week

if none of those solve it and dilatings not a possibility thats def unfortunate but not the end of the road. as for the rest of the exercises none of them involve material stuff so they should be pretty easy to do discreetly if you want (except the massage thing but theyd have no reason to suspect its pelvis involved as the tools used are used for regular massages too lol, and failing that you can still do it with your hands its just not as ideal). so with that here's a rough breakdown of the exercises im supposed to do, and again this is just the general stuff so i cant tell you how many days a week you would do these. and also disclaimer that i very much am not a medical professional, just regurgitating what i remember of the instructions from my doctor. anyways!

kegels:

breathe in through nose 2 seconds, out through pursed lips 2 seconds while squeezing, release and repeat 5 times

then

take slow steady breaths drawing them down into your stomach rather than your chest, do these continuously independent of kegels. pattern is squeeze for 5 seconds, release 10 seconds, and repeat that 5 times

do one set of each of these standing, sitting, and laying down flat on your back with pillows under your knees to elevate your pelvis. originally i was supposed to do all of that eight to ten times a day but that rapidly evolved to "whenever i can remember to in whatever position i happen to be in right now" lol

the abdominal/inner thigh massages are primarily intended as a cupping exercise but you can also use a Gua Sha tool if the cups hurt (like me, they pull my stomach hair so i got one also off amazon, its the shiny metal rock shaped like a paint pallette. for the cups this one looks closest to what she had and you just squeeze it then place on your skin so it creates a seal, release the bulb to create suction, and then slide it around as described below), or she told me the thigh part can also be done with a massage gun. but essentially you just make sweeping motions around your abdominal region, if you start at the bottom on one side you sweep up around your bellybutton on that side to the top and vice versa, if you imagine your stomach in quadrants you wanna spend abt 3 mins going over each corner. then you also wanna do the cardinal directions and just sweep from the outside towards your bellybutton, also 3 mins each (i do not do these in any particular order truth be told im truly just rubbing a slimy rock around on my stomach lol). inner thighs are similar, you just sweep up towards your pelvis. and use massage oil/lotion/something otherwise itll get uncomfortable and chafey, ESPECIALLY the silicon cups my skin hurts just thinking abt that lol

for stretches she told me -

1 minute daily: priformis figure 4 stretch, deep squat stretch, half kneeling hip flexor side bending stretch, supine hamstring stretch with strap, happy baby pose, and adductor butterfly stretch

10x pushup-y things daily: prone on elbows stretch

i googled all of those real quick to make sure those keywords lead to diagrams or guides that looked mostly right so those should be a p good rough guide

the breathing exercises are just more of the stomach breathing thing, you lay down with one hand on your stomach and one on your chest and just concentrate on taking deep breaths without the chest hand moving for a couple minutes

if you had to pick just one of these though i would primarily go for the kegels, for the first month that was the only thing i remembered to do every now and then and id still made a fuckload of progress by the second appointment, theyre entirely undetectable by anyone around you so you can do them whenever and wherever you want, and as far as i know theres not really any way to do them wrong or like. overdo them? worst thatll happen is youll get too tired to keep doing them and the result will be ... you relaxing, so thats also a win lol

another tip is if you cant get dilators but still want to go that route and can fit your pinky: put it in until it starts to hurt and no further, even if thats only a single centimeter and just chill there until it relaxes, focusing on deep breaths and releasing tension in the area (also make sure youve gone to the bathroom prior so you wont get scared of relaxing too much and tense up bc that can hurt a lot w something in you if youre not prepared). itll feel like it never will but i promise eventually it will chill, even if that time is another day youll still have made progress. if you do get it relaxed though then you can try for a little deeper, again stopping as soon as it hurts and waiting for it to adjust. one thing that can help is directing sustained pressure down towards the bottom of your pelvic floor, it will hurt some but in a different way like a really intense backbreaking massage does, and as such will also steadily drive the tension out. vaginismus is lowkey your pelvic floor being one big muscle knot anyways so yknow lol. also if its not going well dont force yourself to continue forever, like give yourself a 15 minute timer as a goal but allow yourself to tap out whenever you need. and conversely if you make it to 15 mins and find youre still feeling fine you can choose to bump that up, the world is your oyster

for bowel health she recommended i get a magnesium supplement, the brand she recc'd is CALM specifically the raspberry lemon flavor, you just mix i think a teaspoon of it with however much warm water you want so if you dont like the taste you can just take it as a shot like i do, or she said adding it to tea and stuff is fine too, and you just drink that before bed every night. its not prescription or anything you can get it at costco or again amazon (all of these companies certainly have their own websites you can order direct from but i am broke as fuck so we do what we can lol)

that's all i can think of right now, make sure to use way more lube than you think you should, and i hope this helps and that your situation looks up soon💜

gibbearish

bringing this back again in honor of a) me finishing my physical therapy a couple months ago 🎉🎉🎉 and b) me finding out that i did not find out about mine by myself! someone sent me an ask in i think 2016 telling me about it after i made a post talking about how i was worried something was wrong! so it makes me sososo happy this post has also done that for others ;0;

shubbabang

dark-wizard-guy-fieri

context (via @mellorocket)

chimthecappy

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay