for each man kills the thing he loves.

hello, i'm lock! she/her ♡ bi ♡ 25 ♡ chrollo lucilfer's hypewoman. inbox is open for chats and suggestions. pfp is by @yw5vdghlcmhpbq !

[ddarker-dreams]

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"to love is to suffer and there can be no love otherwise.”

hello, i'm lock! thank you for stopping by ♡ please keep in mind that this blog heavily features dark content and is 18+ only.

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[ddarker-dreams]

yan scara is the type to act distant if you were mean to him in a dream. he takes it way too personally

[ddarker-dreams]

sorry about the crappy screenshot since you can’t use the camera functions in domain but . certain areas of sumeru keep reminding me of barbie fairytopia and i need to share this knowledge before i internally combust. are there any fellow barbie movie enjoyers in the vicinity… don’t you see the Resemblance 

[ddarker-dreams]

the theme continues

[aloyhh]

"omg you remembered!" of course i did. I have a file on you

[ddarker-dreams]

debating if i should play PMD explorers of sky or the schenzaya update ...

[ddarker-dreams]

please add fem tags to ur fics. its honestly so annoying already blocking the tag and still seeing fics w fem reader.

ohhh all this time i thought the f signifier in the fic description would suffice, i can start adding a fem reader tag!

[ddarker-dreams]

you write scara as so annoyingly evil it’s beautiful

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! that's the essence of what i'm going for whenever i write yan scara. he knows he's unfair and doesn't pretend otherwise. it's refreshing in the sense that he's self-aware, while simultaneously introducing a whole new set of frustrations. all you can do is gawk at his entitlement.

[ddarker-dreams]

the immediate horror reader feels in rhapsody.... eating it up good

as for nahida and aether knowing was them not telling the reader to keep scara in check? or for another reason 👀👀

on another note you've convinced me to try fe echoes (its the only modern fe i havent played yet hehe)

that's a good question 👀👀

nahida had two reasons for keeping this information from reader, aether was just going along with nahida's request. she thought that this would be the most effective method to keep distance between you and wanderer, since in her view, the temptation to return to his old ways would be stronger if you recalled your history. maintaining a pretense of normalcy while he matured as a person was her primary goal. of course, for this to be successful, he'd need to reflect on his mistakes and do better. despite nahida's wishes, that never happened.

her main concern was the reader's mental wellbeing. it's a unique dilemma, because the question of whether or not what scaramouche did was to the reader or 'someone else' is up for debate. technically, it was a different incarnation of the reader, hence the dissonance she experiences when contending with the memories. it was and wasn't her. nahida was uncertain of the morality of telling reader about another life, especially when all it would bring her is pain. if wanderer gets a second chance, it's only fair that reader does too.

AND PLEASE DO GIVE FE ECHOES A SHOT!!! it's such a fun game, i wish more people knew about it!!

[ddarker-dreams]

Rhapsody.

Yan Wanderer x F Reader.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, implied codependence, and mild spoilers for the Luna Archon Quests. Word count: 2k.

It hits you with the impact of a meteor. 

Concentrated, blunt. Absolution hammered down as if it were a gavel. The parameters that define reality dissolve and reform, collapsing inside itself with the magnificence of a supernova. Your immolation is imminent. A fate delayed yet inevitable. The lively scene before you flickers, various landscapes superimposing over it like pages of a book hurriedly being skimmed through. Some sights are foreign, others familiar. All carry an unfathomable weight. 

Something shatters, but it isn’t you. 

Scintillating shards of crystal clatter about, earning you numerous stares. Your breath catches in your throat. Aether, who seemingly has a sixth sense for people in crisis, strides over. Remembering yourself, you join him on your knees and collect the jagged fragments of your celebratory drink. The mess resolves itself in record time. After quietly expressing your gratitude, you await an opening to slip away, but he hovers by your side like a second shadow and asks the worst possible question: 

“Are you alright?”

The muscles in your throat seize. You try to mouth an affirmative response, only for your tongue to lie limp in your mouth. Settling on the next best option, you nod, mustering your most convincing smile. The Descender considers you. Every second of his appraisal is torture, the genuine concern on his face like gas near an open flame. There’s a disconcerting quality to its intensity.

You have to get out of here. You’re rapidly approaching your limit, a threshold that promises no return. 

Realizing you’ll have to do better to convince him, you squeak out, “I’m fine.” 

The thin, raspy quality of your voice is detrimental to your cause. If he was uncertain before, he’s going to be hellbent now. He speaks your name like he’s approaching a wounded stray. You play the part well, flinching back when he extends his hand, a reaction that surprises you both. Panic hits like a flash flood. You shrink back, muttering a lame excuse about needing air. 

You navigate the Flagship with the grace of a newborn fawn. Given the locale, your stumbling doesn’t raise any suspicion. You’re grateful to leave the packed tavern behind you. There’s a certain serenity to Nasha Town at night, the cool air heavenly on your clammy skin. You spot an alcove and establish yourself there. It’s a balcony overlooking the main square, high and lonely, perfect for your purposes. Squeezing your eyelids shut, you grip the railing painfully tight. 

In a matter of seconds, footsteps approach close behind. You don’t need to look to guess the culprit. Instead, through chattering teeth, you raise a painful question of your own. 

“Who is the Balladeer?” 

Aether exhales sharply like the inquiry stabbed him.

“You remember?” he asks, tentatively. 

“Bits and pieces,” you hug yourself. “I remember…” 

What it is to not live, but exist. Luggage cases. A revolving door of masked attendants. Custom clothes. The scent of incense and tea. Crimson, indigo, lavender. Static. Cotton sheets and silk pillows. Frigid nights in Schenzaya, tepid days in Inazuma. Roaring fireplaces and the thump of the shishi-odoshi. Pine trees, sakura petals, fire-water, engawas, sunless winters, summer fireworks viewed in solitude. So, so much solitude. Hours whittling you away. Unanswered prayers, futile plotting. 

“... I remember enough.” 

Aether begins to say your name, but you spin around, the expression on your face stunning him into silence. 

“You knew?” you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “You — Nahida too — you knew and— and— he’s still…!” 

“I understand you’re upset—” 

“You understand nothing!” you snap. Hot tears stream down your face. You wipe them away with your sleeves, but it does nothing to staunch the flow, like a wound that refuses to clot. “Space. I need space, please. This isn’t… what am I supposed to even do with this…?” 

His lips part and close. You sense that you’re being unfair, lashing out at the wrong person. A heavy silence engulfs you both. You witness Aether’s resolve crumble one piece at a time. He takes a step forward and freezes, his eyes darting from you to the left. You follow his gaze, your soul discerning who it is far before they’re visible. 

“Dottore made good on his promise, I take it?” the new presence wonders. You look at him like he’s a ghost, terror seizing your heart. 

“Should I…?” Aether trails off, his attention flitting between you both. 

“You can leave us,” he reassures. You take note of his refusal to look at you. It’s a slight so insignificant compared to his other sins, yet it manages to stoke your wrath into something profane. The rage is nauseating. Primal in essence, burning with the fury of a thousand stars. And yet words fail you. Even as Aether leaves, glancing over his shoulder before he heads back inside, your mind goes blank, like a canvas stolen of its colors. 

Finally, your eyes interlock. 

This incarnation — the Wanderer — has the courtesy to maintain his distance. All you can bring yourself to do is stare. Weighing the similarities, judging the differences. He doesn’t shy away or wilt beneath your scrutiny. Your inability to decipher his stone-cold countenance inspires frustration. Where is your catharsis? His shame, your triumph? Is he not guilty before you? Why won’t it show — why don’t you want it to show? What do you want? How can the scales ever fall in your favor, after everything he’s stolen? 

You pity that girl he kept locked away like a prized jewel. It’s strange, mourning for a you that was but no longer is. Her fear, despair, and helplessness; it washes through you, coming and going in waves. She was forgotten. Her suffering erased alongside the memory of the Balladeer, no justice ever achieved. There’s no metric to measure inequity on such a cosmic scale. Even now, if you were to end his life, it would do her no good. She no longer exists. You, her afterimage, can’t deliver proper retribution. 

Your knees buckle. You collapse, the fabric of your skirt billowing out alongside you. 

“Say something,” you demand. 

Nothing. 

“Kunikuzushi,” you try again. Finally, he flinches. It feels right. Divinely ordained. You want more. “Have you been mocking me all along?” 

He takes a few moments to think over his response. “You’re not going to get what you want out of this.” 

Sensing your confusion, he clarifies, “I’ve seen this moment coming for a long time. I had no way of knowing for certain it’d happen, yet… it felt inevitable. A fitting penalty for my shortsightedness. So, trust me when I say I’ve imagined this moment countless times, taking into consideration how you are, and… there is no outcome that will satisfy you. This might come across as cruel, but I consider it the greatest mercy I can offer.” 

“What do you know about mercy?” 

“Not much. But I know you,” he reassures. “Every quirk, character flaw, and inclination. For instance, right now, all you can think about is how to make me hurt. That’s fair. Do and say what you will. I’ll take it all.” 

You regard him warily. Who is this? He looks like Scaramouche, from the sharp, piercing quality of his eyes to the aesthetics of his clothes, though the palette is different. His speech pattern is similar too. Wry, vaguely derisive. Yet a critical component is absent. Or is it multiple? You reflect on his behavior in Nod-Krai. Had it not been for him and his willingness to participate in Sandrone’s plan, Dottore would’ve triumphed, upsetting the balance of Teyvat and guaranteeing oblivion. He is, in every definition of the word, a hero. Your intestines twist into knots at the thought. Aether has faith in him, as does Sumeru’s Archon, whose domain is wisdom. 

Slowly, you rise on your own strength. 

“Do you regret what you did?” 

He pinches his eyebrows together. “I regret my weakness.” 

“Weakness?” you repeat back, incredulous. 

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” he closes the distance, stalking toward you with a steady gait. And there it is — hints of his depraved nature rising to the surface like a bloated corpse. You turn your chin up, daring him to pull anything. Energy crackles between you. “You’ll be pleased to learn I’m still, at my core, that awful bogeyman worthy of your loathing. Ah, I can see it. You were worried what it’d mean for you if I’d been redeemed. I get it.” 

He fiddles with the rim of his hat. “It’s funny; Lesser Lord Kusanali posed the same question. ‘Do you regret what you did to her?’ she asked, leaving unsaid the expectation that I should. And well… I regret much, but I don’t regret you.” 

You ball your hands into fists. 

“You closed me off from the world.” 

“A rotten world.” 

“You took my life, my— my future, my aspirations—” nearing hysterics, you have to pause to regain your breath, “I lived in complete fear! I never knew what might set you off, or why, and it was fucking terrifying!” 

“I know.” 

You want to claw his eyes, rip into his jugular with your teeth, and tear open his chest cavity with your hands. You want him to cry, beg, and blubber, pleading for forgiveness that will never be his. You want revenge. A punishment worthy of the crime. You pounce, roughly grabbing his collar and tugging, vision blurry with tears. He goes limp, not offering up the slightest resistance. His gaze is unblinking, drinking in the sight of your ruination. Perhaps there’s a hint of pathos on his features, but it’s fleeting, like a passing breeze. 

You’re not going to get what you want out of this, he warned. 

Scaramouche (the Wanderer?) is many things, but he was never a liar. 

You push him away with all your strength. He barely budges, forcing you to scurry back to make space. 

“It’s not going to happen again,” the words come tumbling out like the ravings of a madman, “You don’t have the power anymore— the authority.”

“I don’t,” he admits. 

You derive some satisfaction from his flat acquiescence. That has to sting, right? The knowledge that once was never will be again? In that life, he was a Harbinger, given impunity by the Tsaritsa. Certainly, he has his own strength, but it’s no longer uncontested. He has Aether and Nahida to keep him in check. Given their knowledge of his past wrongdoings, they must be monitoring him. Theoretically, this should grant you solace. You’re not alone. This time, you have formidable allies that will come to your aid. 

He laughs. It’s a choked, bitter sound, worse than a person gurgling on blood. You wince, terrible memories teeming forth.

“The past is set in stone,” his voice takes on a melancholic character. He shakes his head, dismissing the thought that inspired his rumination. Squaring his shoulders, he changes the subject.  

“You wondered if I’ve been mocking you all this time. I haven’t. If anything, it’s been… refreshing. Speaking to you without encountering resentment, that is. I’d forgotten what it was like. If I tried hard enough, I could almost put our shared history behind us and pretend I didn’t know what I did.” 

His lips curve into a soft smile. Goosebumps dot along your skin, shudders accompanying them. You never thought he was capable of a tender expression like that. It doesn’t last long, like a shooting star streaking across the night sky. His countenance contorts back to its usual deadpan. 

“But… I think I prefer you like this,” he decides. “This is how you’re meant to be; lost and vulnerable. A testament to my influence.” 

You break eye contact, unable to withstand the weight of his stare any longer. 

“I won’t always be this way. A day will come where I put you behind me,” you back the lofty declaration with as much confidence as you can. “And then you’ll be truly alone. Forgotten by me twice.” 

Darkness clouds over his brilliant eyes.

“We’ll see,” he responds to your challenge in a sing-song lilt. “I won’t make it easy for you.” 

That night, though you return to the Flagship alone, you’re struck by the feeling he never truly left.

[ddarker-dreams]

debating how to spread the yan gortash agenda...

[ddarker-dreams]

hello! i'm curious to hear your favourite 3ds games? ^^

sitting unchallenged at number one would be fire emblem: heroes of valentia. i had such a fun time with this game, from the dungeon mechanics to the memorable cast. the art style has to be my favorite in any main line fire emblem game as well. AND THE MUSIC!! i have the lyrics to the heritors of arcadia firmly lodged in my brain. the scions' dance in purgatory, a song for bygone days... so many bangers. this game is criminally underrated.

next up would be rune factory 4. i have no idea how i stumbled upon this game originally, but i was blown away by the sheer amount there is to do. with traditional farming games, i normally enjoy the gameplay loop for a bit but start to get bored around the 15-20 hour mark. the inclusion of RPG elements and the colorful cast kept me hooked. i especially loved how alive the world feels. characters comment on what you've done; it's a small detail yet it makes the town feel so fleshed out. the monster taming elements are fun too!!

aaaand at number three we've got pokemon ultra moon. i sunk some time into that title. i've been a pokemon fan since i got my hands on pearl as a kid, but ultra moon is the most fun i'd had with the series in a while (only outdone by legends of arceus on the switch). the alola region has such a distinct identity and while its story might not be as good as BW, it still maintained my interest better than most pokemon games. it felt weird not challenging gyms at first, but i came around to the island trial system. this is another game with some incredible music!! lillie, lusamine, guzma, and gladion got some killer pieces. my biggest gripe has to be litten's final evolution 😔 the bipedal cat just didn't do it for me.

some honorable mentions include animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, fire emblem awakening, and stella glow.

[cbltblxx]

Rex Incognito

[ddarker-dreams]

yan gojo might make you cry but yan geto just skips past that step and gives you an existential crisis, free of charge

[ddarker-dreams]

do u think yan gojo would hold his bae’s passions against them as a punishment🤔🤔 i remember you mentioning that he’s a more permissible yandere and I actually couldn’t see him feeling the need to physically hurt his partner because of the natural power imbalance so I feel like the only thing he could do is take away hobbies

yandere gojo's most effective punishment is forcing you to spend time with him 😔

he soaks up your attention like a greedy sponge. you can't get anything done when he's around, it's maddening. the worst part is that the more frustrated you get, the more he'll coo and fuss over you like it's the cutest thing ever. it's geniuinely impressive how creative he gets when it comes to inconveniencing you. if you're cooking, he'll put the most essential seasonings up high so you have to ask for his help in getting them down. should you try and play a game, he'll hide your charger and demand an absurd amount of kisses to reveal where it's stashed.

he's succesful in deterring you from doing whatever it was that brought this wave of misfortune your way. despite being a more lenient yandere, he doesn't let you walk over him. instead, you get the sense that he enjoys the challenge, how you plot and scheme regardless of how futile it all is. what chance do you have against a man whose power borders on the divine? gojo can't take your schemes seriously. still, there is an invisible line in the sand that's best not to cross. a noisy, needy gojo might be a pain, but it's when he's silent that you really need to be concerned.

[ddarker-dreams]

yandere blade 100% sets your birthday as his phone password. if silver wolf chastises his lackluster cyber security, he compromises by changing it to the numbers associated with your name but backwards. it's the best he can do

[ddarker-dreams]

thank you for all the generous words. i’m so glad you liked it 💕 i hope it’ll inspire others to draw their own fanart of fanfictions that they like

also, i so agree about vephar being able to take all the forms that they were drawn as! such cool thinking

anyway, here’s a quick draft of her side profile and also an unfinished work where i tried to concentrate on her facial features

ngl i would crush out too if she rejected me. totally understandable

can you even call it fanart when i’m simply spamming my own design?

i’m so gonna draw her with zhongli being a toxic old married couple

THAT VOLUMINOUS HAIIIR i am in love <33333333333333 it's difficult not to develop an affinity for vephar, i think we all reach a point where we can see why zhongli is the way that he is 😔 i adore your design, thank you again for sharing them with us!! it's made my friday night to be able to admire such lovely art 🥺🥺💖

[ddarker-dreams]

yay lock back on my dash!!!! so good to see u bugga butt<3

THANK YOU SO MUCH MS OPHELIA!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHH it's great to see you, i hope that life has been treating you kindly 🥺🥺 let's make the most of the remainder of the year!! 💕💕