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EXPECTATIONS
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Love Begins
NASA
Today's Document
pixel skylines
shark vs the universe
tannertan36
Xuebing Du
JVL
bliss lane
taylor price
oozey mess
Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH
Mike Driver
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@ddoubleener
I’ve had some pretty crappy addictions in the past. I had to find hobbies/ new addictions that were less destructive and more healthy. And that’s when I became a plant mom. I’m a crazy plant person now, they are my babies. Also gained a lot of plant friends during this new adventure.
DO THE THINGS YOU WOULDNT NORMALLY DO. đź–¤
Find peace in things that bring you joy.
Family.
I have raised some amazing tiny humans thus far. I’m so thankful to be their mom. I am so greatful to be able to teach them to be strong, kind, smart and never let people change who they are.
As a young mom my fear was I was going to fail at the one thing a women is suppose to be good at.
I struggled. It hasn’t been easy. BUT I am so proud of myself. I am SOOOO proud of them most importantly.
I never wanted children, life had other plans for me. And the universe has a funny way of working and it knew I needed them.
I am me. I do not have to change for anyone. Let me be me. If I’m not someone you vibe with, I’ll understand. 2025 is about me being me. No more people pleasing. No more dimming my light because people think I’m “tooo much”. Just let me be Deena, and love all of me
🖤🖤🖤
Realized over the last couple months that I’m what you call a “floater” friend.
Expected to show up for everyone else, contribute to party’s and gifts etc…
But as everyone’s important things have passed in the year 2024 I realized I was the ONLY friend in our “girl group” that didn’t get celebrated for their birthday. No dinners… no gifts. (Which I don’t expect) but when it’s done for everyone else you tend to get the feeling your forgot about. It’s been a wild journey have friends you’ve had for 15+ years become people you’d rather not be around simply because it seems as if I’m only there when it’s convenient or because it’s werid me not being there but I’m not actually appreciated.
Goal for 2025
•try to make new friends
•build on friendships that aren’t exhausting and feel awful to have
•cut off the “friends” who really have nothing to do with my life.
Mainly only let people into my life that want to be and deserve to be. đź–¤
Let’s talk mental health.
Do you have ANY mental health disorder?
Yes
No
For insight I have severe bipolar which means, I can go really high or realllllllly low. It sucks. It’s been my biggest battles I’ve ever fought. For years I did not know what was wrong, not even doctors. Just shoving depression meds because most days I was so so sad but then other days I was so high that eventually they gave me more pills for anxiety to bring me down. Then ended up being medicated to the point of being a zombie because they couldn’t keep my highs and lows at a normal level. Finally ONE person, a nurse at that just listened to me rant and cry and she daid “ I truly think nothing is working because your bipolar” she was right… all it took was the very first bipolar med they tried to keep the mania away and also keep the extreme lows away. I was FINALLLLY normal. But then I realized I was having severe sensory issues. Noises, conversations, going into public, my clothes. Something I had never experienced before. I was at fear that the meds had made something worse and was experiencing bad side effects. I couldn’t even control my mind. My mind had been shut off my sedative medications for years that now I was hearing it all. Went to my dr, he said I don’t think it’s anxiety I don’t think it’s anything like that I think you have adhd. Tried a few meds had big side effects. My tummy couldn’t handle. Finally I got put on adderall. All the chaos in my mind was finally shut off. I could go into public, that was huge for me. I couldn’t even walk into a grocery store without ending up in tears. So imagine any social setting. I was finally able to complete tasks, I was able to handle noises. And best of all I was finally not the over stimulated mom that was always angry. The biggest blessing I had was being able to do things with my kids without having to go hide because I got overwhelmed. But the more meds I got on and the more I thought I was feeling normal, the more I was remembering all the trauma, the ptsd kicked in. I had a baby, post partum hit hard. I’ve seen terrible things, I’ve been through terrible things.. I fear terrible things. It brought anxiety. And today I now take 3 meds. Adhd meds, bipolar meds, and my anxiety meds (when needed) it’s a journey guys. It’s a journey realizing you don’t have a normal brain and you have to accept you may need meds ( I fought taking them for a long time ) it’s a journey having all the things you pushed into the back of your mind come to life when your the most normal you’ve ever been. I journal. I try to right things down and do shadow journaling to work through things that I really just try to forget. I wanted to always be better for myself but I HAD to be better for my kids. I have to be able to teach my kids about these life struggles. God blessed me with my first child who struggles the same way I did. I always felt guilty he got it from me. I passed down mental illness to him. He is low on thr autism scale with severe adhd and severe anxiety. After years of us both struggling and trying to find how to manage. We both are in a place where I’d say we’re mentally stable. Day to day is how we take it. Some days we have good days some days are bad. I have 2 other children who have shown no signs of anything yet. And I pray they never have to fight this battles against themselves the way me and my oldest have. It’s not an easy one. I get why people give up. I wanted to, he’s wanted to. But I PROMISE YOU if you do the work, advocate for yourself or your loved ones like no other there absolutely is light on the other side. It’s hard to believe sometimes. But if you don’t believe in something or work towards something you will never go anywhere.
It will be okay. Maybe not today, next week or months from now. And it’s okay NOT to be okay. But keep fighting.
I have been gone AWHILE. Life got crazy. After vacation kids went to school, sports were in full effect and hasn’t stopped. My goal for 2025 is to post more and start blogging more of my life, my family and my experiences.
This goes for anyone. If someone cannot simply find their own issues in their actions, behaviors, their lives then there is no helping. I’ve spent years trying to help someone grow and point out behaviors which in return turned me into the bad guy. When someone turns defensive they aren’t ready to change.
*you cannot fix everyone*
Vacationing with your family and then your friends and their families is a must. Thankful. Here are some photos of our time!
I’ve been in meeeeexico. All is right in the 🌎 right now.
…. T minus 1 day until we’re back to reality.
The reason you started settling these boundaries are the people that are mad your setting them.
Welcome to 30
Ever been with someone who is physically present but not mentally checked in? They’re everywhere else but right there in the moments with you?
It’s a hard hard thing to watch. I do not wish it on anyone.
Get to a place where it doesn’t bother you will always be the goal.
Forgive and forget.