[bad-comic-art]

Sensational Spider-Man (Vol. 2) #28. Art by Clayton Crain.

submitted anonymously

[nycswebhead]

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

[fallout-lou-begas]

A 1984 memo from Marvel EIC Jim Shooter

[kittensnax]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

every so often I come across a kink post about like being kidnapped and tortured or held at gunpoint or begging for ones life for sexual purposes and I understand its going for a very haggard frail thing being taken advantage of vibe but in my mental image it really just comes off the same as that picture of wolverine strapped to a nuke

[contemptible-scoundrel]

ideal sexual encounter for people whose username is something like snuffpuppy

[specialmouse-deactivated2025060]

This is the funniest image I’ve seen in years like this is probably the very worst thing that could possibly happen to anyone ever and the artist somehow perfectly conveyed the correct level of emotion he’d be feeling like dude it’s over but what else are you supposed to do

[smoky-moka]

[nart65]

They’re both in their 30s

[bisexualbunk-deactivated2026050]

you guys remember comics? that shit was good or bad, depending 💯

[unpretty]

idea: the joker, compelled even against his own interests to do whatever he thinks would be funniest. the joker may be a sadist with a really shitty sense of humor but even he knows a high-quality punchline when he sees one. his obsession with batman is rooted in batman’s unfailing ability to trick the joker into a better gag that gets him captured. the joker gets chased into a room with plenty of really great hiding places and escape routes, but also a slender pole in the middle of the room. he has to hide behind the fucking pole. he’s gotta. how can he not go for the hiding behind a pole gag. there’s three doors but there’s also a joker-shaped hole in the wall that will make it look like he broke through the wall. it’s a four-story drop into a bakery dumpster full of pies. the joker is obsessed with batman because deep in his heart he knows that batman is actually funnier than he is but instead he spends his time standing on rooftops in the rain being a stoic piece of shit. the joker is salieri, and batman is a mozart that decided to go into carpentry.

[unpretty]

sorry to reblog this old jokepost with fanfiction chat but it’s my post and i do what i want

i am aware that recent therapyspeak joker developments may seem at odds with this but i need to explain to you my vision

first you need to understand that debate bro funnyman joker is also a good foil for batman. the guy who wants you to argue with him in earnest so he can say all the right things to sound like he’s not just an asshole, throwing keywords at you a mile a minute. the guy who can pivot when you make a good point and say you’re actually the idiot for arguing with a clown. that guy. right? meanwhile batman is the world’s greatest detective and that’s what makes him annoying. a good joker thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. he is begging at all times for someone to give him an excuse to pontificate on how society is the real sickness or whatever the fuck. people say he wants to make batman laugh but i think it’s better if he wants batman, a guy who makes deductions using facts and logic, to try to engage with him as an intellectual equal.

because the thing about batman is that it’s a ridiculous concept that forces everyone around him to play the straight man. there is a man here with pointy ears and everyone just has to engage seriously with that fact. can you imagine how much the joker seethes about this. he can never be more ridiculous than batman and the fact that batman has succeeded in making everyone engage with this seriously means the joker lost before he started.

but most importantly batman can just fucking deck his ass

batman is a very intelligent man who has decided that some people just need to get punched in the face sometimes. and aside from the fact that you cannot debate a fist, it is always and consistently extremely funny. it is funny the way indiana jones shooting the swordsman was funny. or it’s funny the way a comedy jumpscare is funny. or it’s funny like a running joke is funny. there is never a time when punching a self-important clown isn’t funny. the joker is doing his damnedest to find a better punchline than literally getting punched but good fucking luck.

[solidsmax]

Venom: Lethal Protector MARVEL RIVALS

[spyder-on-the-wall]

[prokopetz]

Everybody talks about how Silver Age Superman is a dick, but a less remarked-upon quirk of the era’s writing is that Silver Age Lois Lane is obsessed with proving that Clark Kent is Superman specifically because she’s convinced if she does, he’ll be obligated to marry her.

Initially it’s implied to be a blackmail thing, but later Silver Age writers seem to have forgotten that and taken “Clark Kent must marry Lois Lane if she discovers his secret identity” as an axiomatic rule, to the point that Kent would often voice worries that he’d be forced to marry other characters who were close to putting the pieces together – regardless of whether they’d expressed any interest in the first place!

Now, do you know which character apart from Lois Lane has the best track record for figuring out that Clark Kent is Superman across all the various reboots, elseworlds, and miscellaneous adaptations?

That’s right: Batman.

So, logically

[thetownsendsw]

This particular chain of telephone game characterization fascinates me, because it’s such a clear a to b while still being so bizarre. Which is relatively par for the narrative restrictions put in place by the comics code, but I still wonder if there’s a way to sneak the idea into a modern telling. With the way the last couple decades worth of superhero movies have been ashamed of being superhero movies, probably not.

[prokopetz]

It really depends on which part of the idea you’re trying to resurrect. The initial “Lois Lane is a crazy stalker who’s trying to prove that Clark Kent is Superman because she plans to use the proof to blackmail him into marrying her” premise would probably fit right into the modern idiom, though it would obviously read very differently than it did in its original, more cartoony Silver Age context. The whole “Clark Kent is for unspecified reasons obligated to marry anyone who uncovers his secret identity” thing that it eventually evolved into would be trickier.

[frustrationinexcelsis]

Highlights from the tags.

[airsignz]

[emptyblissdotmp3-deactivated202]

every few months a new marvel yaoi ive never heard of before pops up and every few months i think of this post;

[unpretty]

“villain attempts to go back in time to kill superman as a small child, gets shot in the face by ma kent, who buries him behind the barn with the others” would probably have niche appeal as a comic but i don’t care, i want it

[unpretty]

The first time a man from the future showed up at Martha Kent’s house, Clark Kent was two years old.

According to his birth certificate, anyway. She just kind of accepted that the details were a little fudged. Relativity, and all.

Maybe the stranger would have succeeded in whatever it was he wanted to do, except that he really did just show up. Appeared, like a ghost made flesh, right in the backyard. Clark, thank goodness, was out in the fields with Jonathan. He couldn’t bear to be alone, that boy, and they could never bear to leave him.

Which left Martha free to shoot the ghostly intruder in the face.

Martha had not always considered herself a shoot first, ask questions later sort of a person. But that was before she found a baby in a spaceship where her corn was supposed to be.

They’d switch off, Jonathan and her, who got Clark and who got the shotgun. Martha got the shotgun more often than not. Guns made her husband uncomfortable. She was hardly a fan, but she’d always been a terrible pacifist. Too determined to defend herself.

The sight of all that blood and brain and bone was still nauseating. She compartmentalized, told herself it was no different from slaughtering a cow; didn’t think about riot gear or tear gas or the friends she’d lost or all the things she’d moved away from when her heart couldn’t take it any longer. This was different. This was her son.

She prodded the corpse with her foot. It remained a corpse. A real nasty looking corpse, all big and burly and holding a gun much too large. She didn’t like making assumptions based on appearances, but she didn’t imagine he’d been coming for anything nice. She bent down to search his pockets, found a metal wallet and flipped it open.

Born 2018.

Well, hell. Wasn’t that just a kick in the pants?

Probably she ought to have been a bit more unsettled than she was. But she’d been waiting two years for someone to show up on her doorstep, men in black or UFOs or something. Hell, she’d half expected her sweet little boy to hatch into something worse.

Just because she brought home space babies didn’t mean she was a damn fool.

Jonathan had rejoined her in long strides, was holding Clark in such a way that he couldn’t see the corpse on the ground. “Well, shit,” he said.

“Eyup,” Martha agreed.

“Don’t look government.”

“Nope.”

“We burying him?”

“I’ll bury him,” Martha said, standing up. “You get Clark inside and read him a book or something. I don’t want him seeing any of this, getting him messed up in the head.”

“You sure? Looks heavy.”

“That’s why we have a wheelbarrow. I’ll stick him out behind the barn, might as well keep all our secrets in one place.”

Martha had a long time to think as she dug a time traveler’s grave. There were a lot of reasons someone might travel back in time trying to kill her kid. The first was her instinct as a mother, which was: he was a fucking asshole. Who killed a kid? Fucking assholes, that was who.

Now, it was also possible that her sweet little boy grew up to be some kind of space Hitler. She didn’t think she’d raise that kind of a kid, but she didn’t suppose there was any parent who set out to raise a Hitler.

Still didn’t sit right with her. She didn’t much like the idea of killing baby Hitler, either.

Keep reading

[deadgenerate]

they have a deadpool cast actor in disneyland which is how you know the character is nothing now. nothing at all. jover as the kids say. fucking Jover

[whiterabbitloveposting]

For those wondering - Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #338 (Hobgoblin sprays Spider-man with poison) and #339 (Doc Ock reveals the poison only becomes lethal when combined with cocaine).

[maroonmused]

just passed the fuck out