Dead On Horoscopes

These predictions are based entirely on scientific evidence. Prove they aren't. I dare you. We update Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday at the moment whenever we fucking feel like it. * (Disclaimer: don't follow the "advice" given in these horoscopes as it would probably turn out HORRIBLY and be kind of weird since these things are like...oddly specific.) Lost? Start from the beginning check our archives!!! ... var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-39172723-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[rissalikelisa]

“Surprisingly Well-Adjusted” and Other Things Therapists Have Called Me

This book is a compilation of art, essays, poetry, and comics that I have made as vent art. This is about my feelings and my life, and cover

Hi! I compiled a bunch of my art, poetry, and essays into a free ebook!

[krolmeistersisters]

Today is the day! The 5th annual Nancy Drew Speedathon starts tonight at 6PM EDT. This year we are raising money for the Palestine Children's Relief Fund which is a charity that provides medical attention to the children of Palestine. Donations will open at the start of the event tonight!

You can watch the event here: https://www.twitch.tv/nancydrewspeedathon You can donate here: https://donate.tiltify.com/4334d266-8200-4ebd-bccf-309f33a0390c

[krolmeistersisters]

It's that time of year again! Join us on Saturday May 20th and Sunday May 21st for the 4th Nancy Drew Speedathon! This year we are raising money for the PADI AWARE Foundation which is a non-profit that focuses on global ocean conservation.

Follow us on our twitch to see when we go live, or join our discord to stay up to date on the latest news!

[krolmeistersisters]

Charity Stream alert!

This week, 12/20-12/22, we will be raising money for the charity Hope For the Day.

The holidays can be a really tough time for mental health, and we think it's really important for everyone to know that it's okay to not be okay, it's okay to ask for help, and you are not alone in this.

So join us for some fun stream to raise money for a cause that is so near and dear to us! If we reach our $500, Rissa has a special cosplay planned 👀

Follow our twitch so you get alerted when we go live!

[rissakrolsims]

New video up on my youtube channel! My sister Ariana and I decide, via bracket, which Sims 4 game pack is the best!

Link in reblog!

[rissakrolsims]

[karenplaysnancydrew]

the speedathon is almost here!!!! please come say hi this weekend 💖

http://twitch.tv/NDSpeedathon

[rissalikelisa]

I tried to build a house in just 10 minutes and this time I think I might have succeeded??

[rissalikelisa]

My newest video is up! I tried to build a house using only game packs. This does not go well.

[rissalikelisa]

My newest video is up! I tried to renovate the EA build Agave Abode in only 10 minutes, and “tried” is the keyword here!

[deadonhoroscopes]

Dead On Horoscopes: Vol. 1

This is the compilation of our first 100 horoscopes from our joke horoscope blog, Dead On Horoscopes. Follow the comedic stories of the characters based on astrological signs-- erm I mean, read the completely true and factual horoscopes set for each day. They are definitely true, we should know, we're horoscopologists. It's our job.

Don’t forget to grab our awesome ebook! Only $1 for over 100 (fake) horoscopes! Pretty good deal if you ask me!

[deadonhoroscopes]

Dead On Horoscopes: Vol. 2

This is the compilation of our second 100 horoscopes from our joke horoscope blog, Dead On Horoscopes. Follow the comedic stories of the characters based on astrological signs-- erm I mean, read the completely true and factual horoscopes set for each day. They are definitely true, we should know, we're horoscopologists. It's our job.

It’s finally here! 4 years in the making, and our second eBook has finally arrived! This one has 100 days of normal horoscopes, as well as several special events that happened!

Still haven’t read the first one, well here’s where you can grab it!

Toodles!

[deadonhoroscopes]

How can I survive being the only Water Zodiac Sign? Mom- Capricorn Dad- Taurus Little brother- Taurus Me- Pisces

Are you from the past??? How did you even find this blog at this point??????

[shimmerangels-deactivated201804]

the signs as bombing posts

[crunchbuttsteak]

aries: what is it with toddlers and personal space? if this little bald asshole touches my knee one more time i’m launching him across the parking lot

taurus: turns out a creampie isn’t a pastry and the internet is a disgusting place

gemini: one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you

cancer: mom? yeah hey its me. i just called to—what? yeah i’m doing fine thanks. listen i was playing call of duty and this kid said some really shocking things about you and i just had to confirm that they weren’t true

leo: attention shoppers, will the owner of the blue monster truck parked outside please report to the front. that thing is fucking sick and the manager wants to shake your hand

virgo: unfollow me right now if you think it’s “cool” to use ladders in unsafe ways

libra: i just saw a vine being made in real life. this guy walked up to a taco bell and asked if they had ass on the menu because that’s all he eats and his friend filmed the whole thing. this is insane. i feel like i just got a backstage pass to the next big thing

scorpio: tired of people asking me to play basketball just because of the flaming basketball tattoo on my neck. i hate basketballs. i want them all to burn in hell. that is the significance of this tattoo

sagittarius: attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon

capricorn: walk into any starbucks and say “i can’t believe they’re doing a secret screening of the unreleased Wes Anderson movie down the street” then collect all the macbooks that everyone who just ran out left behind. keep your favorite one and sell any you don’t need

aquarius: i don’t care if you think it’s “improper first date attire” this suit of armor is enchanted and i’m wearing it

pisces: fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated

[lulucute-deactivated20181209]

Air and earth signs when they no longer ignore their emotions or bottle it up

[im-the-batmann]

Water and fire signs when they no longer ignore their emotions or bottle it up

[parkchanwoohoo]

I don’t believe in astrology but one time when I was in college I was complaining about how dumb astrology was and after a while someone on the train went “Shut the hell up and let people have fun you Capricorn sun, Virgo moon bitch” and I was like what the fuck

Then I went home and looked it up and they were right so I don’t say anything anymore

[shiftythrifting]

every zodiac sign was correct except for the multiple Squarius charms

[newtgeiszler]

i’m not a squarius but this necklace rules

[deadonhoroscopes]

How would you describe me? I'm a Capricorn sun, cancer moon and a cancer ascendant

Moody as fuck.