crouched in a snowbank waiting to touch grass

he/she/they. I write fanfic at DeadPatrol on Ao3. Not on social media much anymore, busy touching grass, so I'm sorry if I do not respond.

[deadpatrol]

IT IS FINALLY HERE! :D

You can now own a physical copy of “standing at a lightswitch”!

If you want it as an ebook for free, here is the EPUB version!

If you want to bind the book yourself, here is the PFD with all formatting and images included!

The physical format includes fanart by @lmansburg @pebbledrat @skaterfc @jemthebookworm and rey!

Thank you all so much for reading and enjoying!

(The distributor charges money for printing and shipping and such, but I receive no revenue because the idea of making profit off of fanfiction makes me feel icky. I do it for free. The love of the blorbos is its own reward.)

(I will not be talking about this anywhere on my Ao3, just because I want to be extra careful to avoid violating Ao3's terms of service.)

[amogus-real-not-clickbait]

oooooo i made fanart!! can you believe it?

this one's inspired by @deadpatrol's amazing fic :] idk exactly what vibe i was going for i just threw some feels at the wall and this happened :'D

(it's been sitting in my art folder for a while. finally had the inspo to finish it! yayayyay)

[nostophobic]

Carefully, Ranboo slides fingers through the strands, but it’s different this time. Tubbo has grown used to the way Ranboo would comb through his hair, aimless and repetitive. Now, it’s all the more salient when Ranboo’s nails scratch light and curious, returning again and again to circle the spots above his temples — right where curling horns used to grow.

yes in the big 25 i am posting fanart for standing at a lightswitch by @deadpatrol . sorry to all

[deadpatrol]

CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY

[sparrrorow-art]

felt a mighty need to animate, Susie be upon Ye

[funstyle]

Chic and cringe are twin sisters and sometimes they switch places!!!

[funstyle]

"camp is their sister" camp is their mama darling.

[pumpkin-mines]

theres also a dirk apple i dont think i can finish today signs

[pumpkin-mines]

happy yaoi day

[clorspak]

i forget to post here...

[michaels-two-dads]

In my head saal!Schlatt is like. The kind of guy in his 20’s who’s perpetually in frat mentality and drinks a little too much. He’s the type of guy who’s fun most of the time and makes friends easily but also kind of an asshole and everyone knows he’s an asshole but they kind of let it slide because he’s fun (that’s why he’s still friends with Wilbur). He has kind of a rocky relationship with saal!Tommy, where he’s kind of a dick to kids but also comes off as “cool” enough that Tommy that Tommy simultaneously looks up to him and also is a little frightened by him. I feel like one time Schlatt maybe let Tommy have some alcohol when he was too young and Tommy thought it was really cool but also got sick and didn’t like it (but he pretended he did). They have that sort of dynamic. And after that Wilbur pretty much told Schlatt to leave Tommy alone and not fuck with him or they’re not going to be on good terms anymore. So Schlatt kind of steers clear of Tommy, and the older Tommy gets the more he realizes Schlatt really wasn’t very nice, but he also still kind of looks up to him in a way. Also saal!Schlatt would be the type of guy who’s “straight” but also definitely had a thing with saal!Quackity for a while which he pretended was just a joke (internalized homophobia). He pushes boundaries a little too much and jokes a little too harshly but he’s kept around because he’s fun. Most of the time.

[michaels-two-dads]

I imagine his interactions with saal!Tubbo would very much be like “Who the fuck is this kid?” and like ruffling his hair without asking and cracking up at any explanation the others try to give, meanwhile Tubbo is FROZEN with fear. It would not be a good interaction. Schlatt, like Wilbur, would be the type who gets enjoyment out of pushing people’s buttons, and Tubbo’s reactions would only incentivize him more to press at him, especially since he knows he can’t really mess with Tommy. Would Wilbur stand up for Tubbo if he sees Tubbo’s reacting badly? It’s kind of hard to say. What if the questions Schlatt asks are questions Wilbur wants to know the answer to? In that case, he might not want to stop him. I’m also soooo fascinated by the idea of Ranboo and Schlatt because… that never happened in canon. Ranboo never met Schlatt. And I think saal!Ranboo Would notice that Tubbo’s reacting badly, but any way that he tries to help would just freak Tubbo out MORE because Tubbo does not want Schlatt to focus on Ranboo, his whole brain would be screaming danger, danger, but he can’t move and there’s nothing he can do, and in his mind the threat is worse than just some asshole, in his mind he sees the Schlatt he knew and he’s terrified. In the end, if Quackity’s there, he’d probably be the one to put a stop to things.

[deadpatrol]

yeah 100%

[deadpatrol]

I'm going back through the outline for the Schlatt chapters and its amazing how correct you are.

This is directly from my notes: "Schlatt calls Tubbo an anime kid and scoffs and acts disgusted but ruffles his hair and makes him sit down after dinner to watch cute magical girl shojo anime together."

[michaels-two-dads]

In my head saal!Schlatt is like. The kind of guy in his 20’s who’s perpetually in frat mentality and drinks a little too much. He’s the type of guy who’s fun most of the time and makes friends easily but also kind of an asshole and everyone knows he’s an asshole but they kind of let it slide because he’s fun (that’s why he’s still friends with Wilbur). He has kind of a rocky relationship with saal!Tommy, where he’s kind of a dick to kids but also comes off as “cool” enough that Tommy that Tommy simultaneously looks up to him and also is a little frightened by him. I feel like one time Schlatt maybe let Tommy have some alcohol when he was too young and Tommy thought it was really cool but also got sick and didn’t like it (but he pretended he did). They have that sort of dynamic. And after that Wilbur pretty much told Schlatt to leave Tommy alone and not fuck with him or they’re not going to be on good terms anymore. So Schlatt kind of steers clear of Tommy, and the older Tommy gets the more he realizes Schlatt really wasn’t very nice, but he also still kind of looks up to him in a way. Also saal!Schlatt would be the type of guy who’s “straight” but also definitely had a thing with saal!Quackity for a while which he pretended was just a joke (internalized homophobia). He pushes boundaries a little too much and jokes a little too harshly but he’s kept around because he’s fun. Most of the time.

[michaels-two-dads]

I imagine his interactions with saal!Tubbo would very much be like “Who the fuck is this kid?” and like ruffling his hair without asking and cracking up at any explanation the others try to give, meanwhile Tubbo is FROZEN with fear. It would not be a good interaction. Schlatt, like Wilbur, would be the type who gets enjoyment out of pushing people’s buttons, and Tubbo’s reactions would only incentivize him more to press at him, especially since he knows he can’t really mess with Tommy. Would Wilbur stand up for Tubbo if he sees Tubbo’s reacting badly? It’s kind of hard to say. What if the questions Schlatt asks are questions Wilbur wants to know the answer to? In that case, he might not want to stop him. I’m also soooo fascinated by the idea of Ranboo and Schlatt because… that never happened in canon. Ranboo never met Schlatt. And I think saal!Ranboo Would notice that Tubbo’s reacting badly, but any way that he tries to help would just freak Tubbo out MORE because Tubbo does not want Schlatt to focus on Ranboo, his whole brain would be screaming danger, danger, but he can’t move and there’s nothing he can do, and in his mind the threat is worse than just some asshole, in his mind he sees the Schlatt he knew and he’s terrified. In the end, if Quackity’s there, he’d probably be the one to put a stop to things.

[deadpatrol]

yeah 100%

[altromarnice]

Well. I'm alive, and I finally can post full version of this art

[solely-ashes]

Forget about torturing your blorbos, putting them through the wringer. I'm putting my blorbo in perfectly ordinary, pleasant situations. Their tortured personality will cause them anguish anyway, making an absolutely mundane scene into the most dramatic, agony filled affair as though the world is ending and it's all their fault

[dooblebrain]

also some Gordons

Also first meetings

[theholytaint]

Is anyone wrong? (no)

Is wrong even a factor? (no)

Is any reality fixed? (no)

[golden-letters]

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

[frogatz]

welcome to my morbillion video projects

[byjove]

straight men have beauty standards for men that are completely different than the beauty standards women and gay men have for men and then they get mad when they conform to the beauty standards other podcast bros set for them and women still don’t find them attractive

[byjove]

while you were busy arguing about phrenology on Twitter, lamenting your weak jawline and making fun of dudes who don’t go to the gym, beautiful fat polyamorous men with nerdy personalities were busy snatching up the baddest bitches in your town. c’est la vie.

[luidilovins]

There's a tiktok trend called "hear me out cakes" where you print out pictures of characters and actors that you basically have to justify wanting to fuck before taping it on a tooth pick and put it on a cake.

Most of the men who do this challenge will pick the fish from Shark Tales, Nala from Lion King (this was the one he actually had to fight for his life over), Shego and actors slightly older than 30 there was one guy who had Korra was his hear me out.

Meanwhile the girls are fucking xenomorphs, mathematical equations, the concept of Vine, Bananas in Pajamas and the Peanut M&M. One girl sprayed another girl with a water bottle because she put Bowser on cake and he was too basic.

If the trend has taught me anything is that girls will fuck literally anything as long as it has a charming personality and a sardonic smile. If you can't convince a girl to fuck you when she's got a centaur from fallout on her smash cake it has nothing to do with not having a jawline or a six pack it's because you're an insufferable human being.