[deadpt2]

No babe I don’t wanna fuck, actually I wanna play skate3 and laser flip on these hoes

[kosmogrl]

[deadpt2]

I hope my guardian angel shoots my enemies down with laser beams but like ,,,, from nerf guns

[heavensghost]

bus drivers are never neutral they are either heaven sent or deeply evil to their core

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[madefromstardvst]

no one chained me up tonight so there will be casualties

[despazito]

i hate mortality what do you mean i was invited to the greatest show ever but only got 5 seconds admission. I need to see what happens next

[smoogieboogie]

before I left for work today I on a whim pulled a random tarot card and I got death which is a positive card in general but it also made me laugh because I asked the cards "What's my work shift at the funeral home gonna be like today?" And I got death. Like yes ha ha you guys are hilarious. Making me pull that very on the nose card. Yes, death will be there it will be death-like at the funeral home. very funny

[washmysoul]

[papayajuan2019]

you're too caught up in the metaphor. go run a mile or push something heavy

[3688431-remade-deactivated20220]

MY guardian angel jacks off to me while i sleep

[deadpt2]

*very obviously bleeding out* yeah man I’m just here for the fish tacos

[dearjasperfrancis]

EVERY NUN NEEDS A SYNTHI

[thequeervampiric]

love saying "question mark?" out loud when I'm talking about something i'm unsure of

[givemearmstopraywith]

it’s because you’re always on that damn cigarette

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

killed is one of the most classic things to get

[erotomanicpixiedreamgirl]

how to be gentle with yourself when you have the curse