The demonic form paused mid wing flutter, head twisting to look at Crowley, green eyes a brilliant glow of curiosity, and it was then, blatantly clear that this was the demon, and the black eyed being was something… Different. Though how a demon became caretaker of the New Eden was a wonder in and of itself, between God and his strange ways.
And how said being had merged with Dean was another.
Head tilted, a curious hum thrumming from his chest before he dunked his wings under the water again and returned to grooming what he could, still clearly alert and listening to Crowley for his input.
Crowley sat down next to the waterfall’s pool, running his hand lightly through the water and feeling the gentle cool stream calm his nervous thought, his anxious energies, and the tension and hesitations he might have had about telling Dean. Dean was being honest, more than honest about what he was, he was showing Crowley a side of himself that Crowley didn’t know, he was cracking open his ribs and peeling himself open, exposing the heart of what he truly was.
“It’s because I’m in love with you,” Crowley began simply, before wetting his lips slightly, clearing his throat a little and continuing, “but it’s more than that. More than love. From the moment I first saw you I felt… connected to you. Bound to you. Almost like we were soulmates, even though I was told I didn’t technically have a soul, I still felt that connection from my side. Being away from you was torture, and I couldn’t deny that I loved everything about you, even if you were against me, even if you were hurting me, I still did.”
Crowley drew the pelts closer.
“I tried to stay away, because I knew if I kept around it would make you angry, and I didn’t think you’d feel the same because… well.” He shrugged. “But when I stayed away, something terrible happened.” He bit his lip. “I thought I was keeping it hidden, I thought that because I did things to antagonise you boys and your angel every now and again that it wouldn’t attract attention, but it did. And someone else found out. And someone else. Two people found out. Two horrible people.”
Crowley trembled, knowing he had to finish the story.
“Alistair and Dick. They found out I was in love with you. They… They pretended they were you, made me think you loved me too, and they… they…” Crowley’s voice broke slightly and he felt himself start to cry, but he kept going, fists clenched. “They kept me locked up in a Hellish place between Purgatory and Earth for what felt like centuries, raped me every way imaginable, tortured me, made me think you came to save me and then did it all over again over again. I broke so many times until finally after what felt like almost a thousand years I just…”
Crowley’s wings twitched again, more violently this time.
“I destroyed every inch of them, and broke Purgatory into a thousand pieces and came here. I don’t know how long I stayed here but this place was my sanctuary for a long time. Being back here… When I came here, my wings were in shreds. I used to have feathers a long time ago but they were ripped out. They’ll never grow again, Alistair made sure of that.”
Crowley looked up at Dean.
“I couldn’t stay away from you any longer. I had to see you again. I had to know it was really you and now I do. This is undeniably you.” He trembled slightly. “I love you, Dean. I don’t care if you don’t feel the same, I just wanted you to know. I’ll always love you, until the end of time, every part of me is yours.”
Those three words always spelled out the loss of another person in his life. He froze, the human inside screaming internally in panic, begging Crowley to stop talking, to shut up, to take it all back, but the Demon showed no signs of the human’s panicked struggle.
It just stood, and listened, letting the Demon speak his soul to him, to bear his weaknesses freely, without judgement or cruelty.
The first name had the screaming snap to silence as the human struggled with his own agonised memories connected to the demon of torture, his teacher, mentor and abuser.
The retelling of past agonies had Dean tense inside his own mind, ready to use everything he had learnt, anger boiling inside him, that other side of him a holy tide of fury crashing against the consciousness of the Demon who still patiently waited for Crowley to finish.
When words seemed to fall to silence, the demon moved, fluid like the water it bathed in, it reached up to cup Crowley’s face, large hands dwarfing the mans face, a tenderness to elongated features grew ever softer. It was something familiar, the touch. A presence known from upon first visit to this New Eden. A presence that always grew within it, that settled, warm and gentle, the heart and soul of this little place of Heaven, for the lost, broken and damned.
The place was not so much a place on Earth as it was a place born from the Demon before Crowley. A spawn of love and care for things beyond it’s reach, yet things that it’s power would always bring close to hold and protect. A god of its own, so to speak, given its title and stature with the grace and blessing of the Man Himself, to what one would often see as an abomination or devolved monstrosity.
You bear the heart of gold fallen from far higher grace than the Kingly place you know hold, dear Star. My place of care will always belong to you and you alone. Even the brother born of mortal blood and the Saviour of Heaven’s Decent will step not even a hair upon my place of solace. It has been, and always will be, you Heaven, your Eden. I brought you here upon the heart and call of the Mortal who gave me permission to merge with him. I tended to you without strength to show my form, only able to be here in spirit.the voice was like a whisper, a soft murmur of safety and love, forehead leaning in to rest more than press against the Demon’s Flesh Suit’s own.
I live amongst two others, all of which have bonded to your Star of a spirit, you have not a true soul, but something uniquely different, just as that of the Righteous Man’s essence. You and he are one and the same, and through that, you gain my brother of Light and myself. You have free will to say no, but know that we will not cease to exist, and we will not leave our precious human. We cannot anymore, regrettably. He must bear the burden of our Grace and Might. you must know that what the King before you and the Brother he took to his prison had left behind in their violent wake upon deal made by a desperate soul is now with him until time ceases to exist. He will not die, he will not age, he will never be alone.
The voice was tender, but held a weight, the world seemingly frozen, the wind’s breath caught as it awaited Crowley’s response. To know that even the Morningstar and Gods Right Hand played part in the birth of the being before him, another yet to be met, and the very survival of Dean Winchester to this very day, was far more weight than just a simple returned affections, of which sentiment lay thick in the soothing brush of thumb over tear stained skin of the King’s living skin.
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