One belief that interferes with our happiness is the misconception that we cannot learn to be happy. The truth is that we can learn skills and train our minds to feel happier. The tools you need are your breath and your attention. The mindset that you need is the willingness to learn.
If you recognize that you can learn to have a happier mind, you stop blaming your emotions on others or your circumstances. You begin training your mind and practicing skills to improve your moods.
You begin to learn from your emotions themselves. To learn from your emotions, practice noticing your emotions. When you feel yourself in the grip of an emotion, breathe compassionately and curiously into the emotion to see what it is teaching you. As you explore your emotions, you train your mind. As you use compassion, you learn skills to address suffering in yourself and others.
Further train your mind by noticing the emotions in the people around you. To notice other people’s emotions, look at their faces, listen to what they are saying, and imagine what they are feeling. If you think they are feeling bad, practice compassion. If you figure out something that you can do to help, you can offer your help. As you help, pay attention to your feelings. See how you feel when you are being compassionate, or generous. That kind of activity trains your mind to generate positive feelings.
The down side of being able to train your mind, is that if you do not intentionally train your mind, your mind will still train on its own. A mind always trains for something, you might as well train yours for happiness.
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